it comes in pints?

I happen to think that in CelebWorld that there are no "candid" photographs. That every trip to Starbucks or Ralph' or Whole Foods is planned and announced by some publicist or PR flunky so they can be captured on film all casual and shit "Just Like Us!"

Seriously. If it's not one of those obviously far-away, out-of-focus long-range pictures, I just assume it's posed or pre-arranged.

These people -- not just the Simpsons -- would literally DIE if someone wasn't looking at them 24/7. I totally believe that.

Lisa,
Did you read all the stupid broo-ha with celebrities getting mad at features on Gawker and Defamer where they listed celebrity sitings at places around town, saying it was a violation of their privacy? Both the sites were like "puh-lease. Three quarters of these 'sitings' are reported by publicists."

On a similar topic, sometimes when I am having a very bad day and I feel that the world is an evil place and my little corner hamlet of MyLifeSuckistan is about to get hit with SCUD missiles, I am forced to remind myself of one thing. And it's a simple thing.

I remind myself to be grateful that I wasn't born one of Joe Simpson's daughters.

And the world suddenly seems a much, much less hostile place.

No kidding. That guy is creepy, and not just in the "pushy stage dad" kind of way.

When he made that comment about her boobs being DDs, I called my dad and said, "Dad, what size bra do I wear?" He said, "What?! How would I know?!"

And I said, "Thank you."

Well, considering he was probably in the waiting room when she had them made, I can see why he might know.

Why he would talk about them, on the other hand...

Hell, Emily, he probably paid for them....after selecting the size himself.

Can you see the two of them (Asslee and Assica) going all Menendez on their parents in about five years when they figure out they've spent all their money?

Except they won't mow them down with a shotgun, they'll beat them death with Louis Vuitton purses and stomp on them with Assica Simpson Collection cowboy boots and then shove them into Louis Vuitton steamer trunks, break nails trying to get them in there... call Nick Lachey for help, who, still in possession of a brain cell or two will turn them in.

I can hope...

Susanna,
Hahahahaha. I can't stop laughing.

Oh man how I would LOVE to see those girls rebel. Why am I so invested in that? Why am I so angry at Creepy Joe? I know the girls signed up for it, but somehow they do not make me angry. HE DOES. I would love it if Jessica decided to do something REALLY rebellious like, oh, go to college and become a kindergarten teacher or something like that. Like - it's one of the most important jobs one could ever have - but Joe would be SO BUMMED because - where would the glory for HIM be in that???

He's evil.

Who's Joe?

Recently in the LA Times Real Estate section Asslee's Encino home was for sale ($6 mil - but that's another whole discussion) and one of her "selling points" was that she could see her parents' house from her house.

Something like "I love this house, I can see my mom and dad's house from here..."

Well, then why ya' moving, bitch?

Seriously, Menendez-style, five years. Joe spends all the money on underage Asian slave prostitutes and the mom spends it on psychotropic meds and electroconvulsive therapies.

Aaron,
Joe is their really pushy and beyond super-creepy dad.

Sheila,
They probably shouldn't make me angry because they're more a product of Joe's ambition than their own, but every time I see them, they say or do something incredibly stupid and vapid. It's not their fault, really. They deserve parents who think that things like education and intelligence are more important than fame, money and good looks, but geez...the media onslaught is just OVERKILL and they're playing a part in that. ENOUGH. I can't even check my fucking e-mail without Jessica Simpson's mug in my face.

I saw the interveiw with Joe he said "Jessica is the one with the boobs" If I was Miss can't sing Ashlee I would have been like "THanks Dad!" I just find it really annoying thaat celebs are all like Don't photograph me!! Then they announce where they are going and as for special treatment at places.

Didn't he say then that Ashlee was the "deep" one or something? Have you ever seen an interview with this girl? Deep? You've got to be shitting me. I have to change the channel after three minutes to keep myself from hunting her down for a choke. People that stupid should not have a camera put in front of them to record their thoughts.

Yeah, she's an idiot. But again - she obviously is from a family that does not value developing your character and your mind. Blech. It's PAINFUL to listen to those girls try to express themselves. Seriously.

And he (creepy Joe) just gives off SUCH a bad vibe. Like - his daughters are commodities. Truly. I have literally wasted time out of my own life sitting around thinking about Joe Simpson's relationships to his daughters. I RESENT that time spent and want it back!!!

It is painful. I actually get angry. Not just because they've been deliberately deprived of an education in favor of vacuous celebrity, but because so much media attention is focused on women that fucking stupid. The same with Paris Hilton. She's a monster of her parents' making. I know people who come from wealthy families that have trust funds, but they had parents who made them going to school and didn't just let them take their money and party as a condition to having access to it.

I know what you mean about fuming, though. I get that way about all agressive stage parents who use their children as tools.

I think some people have a total fascination for fabulously wealthy people, the type of wealthy people who don't have to work and just gad about on yachts, and do charity work, and have their homes featured in House Beautiful. Wealthy people and heiresses don't fascinate me - unlike celebrities - Obviously I love the celebs, especially if I love their work - but maybe there's something for other people in the whole "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" thing about - living vicariously thru these people or something. To me, it looks like a terribly vacant life. I like the celeb stuff because I kind of want to be doing all the things those people are doing. Making my living doing what I love to do. Being well known. Being paid well for doing art, be it writing, acting, whatevs. Blah blah. But just being rich? Or inheriting wealth? I don't get the fascination with those people. Same thing with being fascinated by royalty. I don't get it. Obviously MILLIONS disagree with me - and looooooooove to just pore over photos of various young royals gadding about the world! But it does nothing for me - because those people haven't done anything to warrant my attention.

Just my two cents.

Like the Princess Diana mania. I just ... did not get it. And people I love and respect were devastated when she died. Like crushed!! So ... who knows. I didn't get it. Nothing against Diana - maybe she was a lovely person - but ... what did she DO to warrant the mania? She married well. But - duh - it was a bad marriage. So ... why should I care?

I apologize to any Diana fans out there. This is just my response to that whole thing. I like people who DO things.

Princess Diana mania is another thing that made me angry. Actually, most reports indicate she was anything but a lovely person, other than physically. She seemed quite nasty, vindictive and manipulative, especially with the media. That's a big reason why all the hyper-love bothered me. I remember watching some biography about her (pre-car crash, when she was still alive) and my roommate at the time saying "look at her! How can Prince Charles not love her?" Well, let's see, she could be a cold-hearted bitch for all you know. There's a lot more to a happy, successful marriage than just having an attractive spouse.

I don't apologize to Diana fans. She was a terrible person. I was SICK of seeing her go on TV and get all weepy because Pwince Chawres didn't wub her. WHATEVER. Like she loved him? She married him because she wanted to be the fucking Queen of England and then all she did was complain about the burden that went along with it. Fuck her. She used her children as props to win some media image war with her ex-husband to show what touchy-wubby mummy she was, but thought nothing of sparing their feelings when she ran around trashing their father in the press. How did she think that was going to make THEM feel? Hey, as long as SHE was the one that came out of the whole thing looking like a victim, she was fine with it.

Ugh. Getting irrationally angry and typing like a madwoman again...!

hahahaha I don't mean to make you angry!! hahahaha I obviously don't have as strong a response as you - heh heh - but I get it. I was just kind of baffled by the mania about her. And I found it tiresome - it was the same kind of thing you experienced with the Simpsons. I didn't even care about her, but she was so ubiquitous that I was FORCED to "get involved" - Even though I didn't give a shit - the chick was everywhere, and I resented it!!

. . .remind me to hide my Diana stash if you ever come to Arkansas. Kidding. I have it, but it shoved in a drawer somewhere. I can't bear to throw it out yet. :)

I think the main reason I was so fascinated by her is that I was a young teenager when she entered the scene. Just about the time a girl starts thinking of her OWN Prince Charming, here comes this beautiful girl who (we thought at the time) charmed the pants off the future King of England, married him in a fairy-tale wedding ceremony, and then birthed two beautiful boys.

I'm not ashamed to admit I bought it lock, stock, and barrel.

So, even though she really didn't "do" anything to get her fame (although I think she did do a lot WITH her fame, like landmine awareness and her AIDS charities), I always felt kind of protective of her, especially when it came out how she was treated by the people who were supposedly her family. Not that she was completely innocent, being somewhat batshit and all, but still. I felt sorry for her any way, and I mourned her, mainly for her boys.

. . .slinks away in shame.

Lisa - hahahaha "the Diana stash" heh heh

A ton of my friends felt the same way you do. One of my best friends still has the scrapbook she made in honor of Diana when she married Charles. I thought my friend had gone insane. (Like - I felt that I was obviously COMPLETELY the sane one, hovering over my obsessive Ralph Macchio scrapbook....)

Oh, you personally didn't make me angry. It's just the whole subject of Diana and all the stupid public affection for her. I don't really have a problem with monarchs like Queen Elizabeth who have the dignity and grace to realize that a part of the great fortune that comes along with getting to live in the palace is the duty you're bound to provide to your country and its people. She never complained about how hard her job was. Diana shoved herself all over the media when it suited her one day and then whined that people wouldn't leave her alone the next. That's as stupid as Britney Spears making 10,000 public appearances asking for privacy. Fine. You want people to leave you alone? Then FUCK OFF and we will.

Speaking of idiots -

I was walking thru the bus station today and saw the Bazaar magazine cover of Britney naked and pregnant. And I must admit: I laughed out loud.

She just was crying on Matt Lauer about how she wished people would leave her alone.

Uhm ... if you want people to leave you alone, then you do not appear naked and pregnant on magazine covers and you do not do a reality show about your marriage.

Plenty of famous people truly do want to be left alone. And so ... uhm ... they don't do reality shows about their marriages. hahahahaa

I mean, honestly!!

Lisa,
I don't think it's awful that you bought it. She very calculatingly cultivated her image and on the surface, appeared very charming. It did seem like a fairy tale at first. As for being treated badly by the Windsors, they suffered equally for her behavior and the way she treated them. I don't think she ever quite settled into her role as a Princess or accepted that it meant making sacrifices she wouldn't have had to make if she'd remained a private citizen. But she wasn't. And that's the thing. She had a responsibility that she never stopped complaining about having to fulfill.

"Will not?" said Caspian, eyes flashing.

"If your Majesty pleases, we mean 'can not,'" said Reepicheep, bowing. "You are the King. You shall not please yourself with adventures as if you were a private person. You break faith with all of your subjects if you do not return."

A paraphrase near the end of "Voyage of the Dawn Treader," CS Lewis. Describes what you're saying pretty well, Emily.

I think Charles and Diana were willing participants in the projection of an ideal that the English monarchy desperately wanted to restore, but they weren't able to keep it up (for different reasons). And of course, many were holding onto that ideal for longer than was wise. I can understand mourning Diana's death and celebrating her achievements - unlike the Simpson clan, she actually had some - but rewriting Candle in the Wind? Going into this paroxysm of grief and homage that would have shamed the Pharoahs?

Ooop, messed up my italic tags. Sorry.