it comes in pints?

Yeah. I love it whenever I read about "exhaustion". It's always solved with the magical B-12 shot (which, wasn't that what LBJ called the amphetamines he was getting pumped with?). That letter has such a nice scolding quality to it.

That, and if you're going to call in sick to work, it probably shouldn't be the day after trashy sites like TMZ have aired videos of you getting loaded and vomitting on Paris Hilton's chihuahua or whatever.

Heat exhaustion? Really? I should have used that excuse in college. Might have been a tough sell in December, though.

Come on. Places like the Chateau Marmont are famous for not catering to the needs of their millionaire guests by providing things like air conditioning. It could happen. Though I do understand that drinking a fifth of vodka in between snorting cocaine off of Brandon Davis's forehead can also cause a bout of dehydration. Poor Lindsay. Pity her.

Hm. I'm giving myself heat exhaustion right now, in the comfort of my airconditioned apartment, with the help of a bottle of Covey Run Merlot.

It is a nice train wreck to watch.

Doh! DO NOT CLICK THAT LINK!

Here's the right one.

Bastard tricked me with his formatting.

Andrea,
Sounds miserable. I hope you called in sick to work.

I've always loved the excuses that publicists dish out for their clients. How many 20-year-old girls do you know that are hospitalized for "exhaustion" several times a year? Just typical medical issues for a young, healthy woman in the prime of her life.

No kidding, Scott. I can't believe anyone thinks the public actually buys these trasparent excuses. When I was that age, I was working full time and going to school full time. I had a seven day a week work schedule that started at seven a.m. and didn't finish until it was dark again, all without the benefit of managers handling my personal affairs and a masseuse to ease my tension after a hard day provided as a courtesy by the luxury hotel where I was staying. And I never once had to be hospitalized for exhaustion.

And did you guys notice they cc'd her mother on this letter? Hahahaha.

It's stuff like this, and the (in all honesty, more serious) DUI charges against Mel Gibson that makes me think every now and then about at that LL.M. in Entertainment Law at Southwestern...being in the midst of such absurdity could really be a lot of fun.

Dave,
Something tells me Mel wouldn't be interested in retaining your services.

Her "exhaustion" could be cured by one thing: eating.

Seriously, she is back into lollipop-head territory.

Emily, with respect to Mel's drunken anti-Semitic tirade, that REALLY makes me wish I'd had the chance to work for the LA County DA's office after law school and not just during. I prosecute DUI's, you know.

Hahahaha, Dave. After that, I think it would only be fitting if Mel had the book thrown at him because of the work a Jew. Oh, sweet justice.

I'd love to see him tried in front of Mike Pastor. He's the best judge I practiced before in LA, and he handled all the trials from the LAPD Rampart scandal. He's one LA judge who's NOT star-struck. Oh, and he's Jewish. I'm sure Mel would grow to love him. Not.

And her mother was quoted as saying,

"Lindsay was in 105 (degree weather) saying, 'Mommy, I feel sick; like I am going to faint.' She took herself to the hospital. She has asthma and in extreme cold or heat you can't breathe."

"Lindsay gets to work late, OK… She's a human being. There was one day when she was late and they worked the schedule around her. Garry (Marshall, the film's director), Jane (Fonda, her co-star), everybody loves her." "As far as Lindsay's health is concerned, she's fine and she is back on set."

"She will win an Academy Award for this picture… Justice!"

Wow. Just, just... Wow.

That IS particularly telling, no... Jane Fonda loves her?

Hmmm.

With a parent like that, it's no wonder she's a spoiled, undisciplined brat.