As of this posting, the Friday FOT is scheduled in pencil to appear as always, ultimate promises not being made due to the uncertainty of a highly scientific equation balancing the ratio between turkey, cranberry sauce and other festive holiday fare versus the number of alcohol units consumed tomorrow. For those of you requiring the services of this thread, should it not be offered as a result of my self-induced illnesses come Friday, please feel free to use the comments below to vent your frustrations.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone taking part. And Happy 30th Birthday to one of my all-time favorites.
Posted by Emily at November 22, 2006 08:06 AM | TrackBack (0) |I hope in the hustlebustle of everything else you remembered to stock up on water and tie red yarn around your TV for tonight's big Madonna special.
Posted by: marc at November 22, 2006 08:30 AMThat's tonight? I'm surprised there hasn't been more hoopla surrounding it. I was sure she and the networks were going to push that "oh, are we going to show the CONTROVERSIAL crucifixion?" bullshit until the last possible second. I guess Madonna was too distracted buying African babies.
Posted by: Emily at November 22, 2006 08:32 AMThey actually made the decision to cut the crucifixion a few weeks ago, which was very surprising. I honestly, like you, thought that decision would wait until this week.
I think the African baby crane game shit put too much stink on her so they kept the promotion lower key. Then again, I really haven't paid attention, nor watch NBC that much, so I'm just making shit up.
Posted by: marc at November 22, 2006 08:39 AMHappy Turkey Day, Emily. With any luck, I will still be comatose Friday morning.
Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at November 22, 2006 08:51 AMCan I just say FUCK OFF to Microsoft for IE7? I am forced to use IE at work because some secure sites we use require it. I hated IE6 and figured IE7 HAD, HAD, HAD to be an improvement. Can I also say FUCK OFF to me for thinking that?
Posted by: Rob at November 22, 2006 08:53 AMHappy Thanksgiving, everyone!
OH EMILY you are a hero! I was actually going to post a can't wait until Friday rant.
In fact, I had it all typed up and ready to fly.
And then I realized that there is an off-chance that a work-related fuck-off could ruffle just the wrong sort of feather and get me sacked. I have no mouth and I must fuck off...
QG#%)Q%VJQ)))@$!%!$%^VAGqgq50$!@!
Posted by: Nightfly at November 22, 2006 11:11 AMFirst, Id like to get a pre-friday, it's been and arctic 50 degrees here in miami Friday Wednesday Fuck off:
To those smug wankers that think they look cool wearing just a tshirt when its like 48 degrees outside with a wind chill downt To the upper thirties and laugh at those of us normal folks who prefer to not spend the day shivering, with shrinkage and having our cold frozen nipples piercing our shirts: FUCK THE FUCK RIGHT OFF YOU COMPENSATING FOR SOME SHORTCOMING FROZEN FUCKING FREAKS. WHAT ARE YOU, FUCKING REPTILES?
ahhh. Thanks Emily.
I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving spent with family friends and loved ones. Thank you all for being a part of my day everyday.
Posted by: Val Prieto at November 22, 2006 11:37 AMNightfly,
I have so many work-related rants that I wouldn't dare post, even blogging semi-anonymous as I do.
I was going to wait for my fuck off, but shoot...Papa John's can FUCK OFF for asking me when I tried to order a pizza online if I was interested in receiving special offers and notices to my e-mail and then sending them to me ANYWAY despite the fact that I unclicked the little box to say NO, I JUST WANT TO ORDER A PIZZA, NOT A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF SPAM TO MY E-MAIL. FUCKERS.
Posted by: Emily at November 22, 2006 12:01 PMOK, I can't wait until Friday.
FOADASPD (a slow painful death) to OJ Simpson.
How low do you have to be to write a book called "If I Did It", an essay on how you would kill your ex-wife, as if it's something to boast about?! And then to laughingly say "Of course I got paid", and say you used the money to pay your bills... makes you sound like what you are: a ho. And a skanky one at that.
FOAD, Juice.
Happy Turkey Day to all of you!
Posted by: Uzz at November 23, 2006 09:32 AMHope your Turkey Day was simply wunderbar, Miss Em!
Posted by: Even Covered in Mustard, Bingley Couldn't Tempt the Most Desperate of New Orleans Cannibals to Try a Bite at November 23, 2006 08:34 PMOkay, I'm tired 'o' waiting. So here goes:
A great big, giant, with-knobs-on SOD OFF to all the idiots who think it's a news story to nanny at us about how much fat! how many calories! are in Thanksgiving dinner.
For ghod's sake you idiots it's a holiday. Hol - I - Day. That means we consume this stuff once, MAYBE twice a year (if we have a similar menu at Christmas, given that we celebrate Christmas).
I HATE with a blinding white-hot passion all the dried-up fun-sucker-outers who always have to tell us that everything that brings us joy is bad for us in some way - or if it's not bad for us, it's bad for "the environment."
It is good, I think, for a person's soul, to for once have a meal where abundance is the keyword and where diets are not worried about. It is good to eat turkey and stuffing and rolls and potatoes and cranberries and two pieces of pie (if you want it) and to be full afterwards and to sit around after dinner and fall asleep while watching the football game.
I think I've said it before elsewhere, but if the CSPI types ever p-whip this country into giving up a holiday where you get together with family, eat a lot (including eating an animal), watch football, and fall asleep on the couch, then we will have ceased to be America.
For that matter, the CSPI (Center for Science in the "Public" Interest) can sod right off, for their endless barrage of how everything that tastes good is bad for you and their endless promotion of foodstuff that tastes either bitter or cardboardy as being "good."
Just some other assorted sod-offs:
The asshole schoolteacher in SanFran who decided to teach the kids the "true" meaning of Thanksgiving by pretending to come in and steal their stuff - making the claim that that's what the pilgrims did to the Indians - he can sod off with extreme prejudice. These are freakin' 8 year olds you just scarred, dude. I remember what it was like when I was 8 - if my teacher had pulled that stunt, I would have run crying from the room like the little girl I was, and I would have told my parents about how Mr. So-and-so killed Thanksgiving. Look, if kids need to learn the uglier side of American history, save that for high school when they hate everyone and everything anyway. Don't make little kids sad and angry and confused for your own idiot political posturing.
Oh, and the activists who would ban Thanksgiving - get over yourselves already. How 'bout thinking about the FUTURE of thanksgiving rather than some (possibly imagined) past where your ancestors were harmed? What about looking at as a day to (a) be thankful for what you've got NOW, (b) promote love between people* and (c) eat a big-ass turkey and all the trimmings.
(*yeah, yeah, I know, that's a little hippie-dippie, but you know? Thanksgiving is one holiday most of us can agree on whether we're religious, agnostic, or atheist. And if we're religious, it doesn't matter too much what brand. Everyone can be thankful for something - so that should bring us together).
The person who referred to what OJ can do is right spot on. OJ should thank his lucky stars he was acquitted and he should be reminded every day that acquitted does not = didn't do the crime. He should also realize that the American public is apparently not as stupid as he banked on.
The people who wait in line for eight hours and then trample, shove, and generally make themselves unpleasant to their fellow humans just so they can get a Playstation or a tickle me Elmo or whatever the "hot" toy is, can sod off. It. is. a. TOY. It is not that important. Your child will not become a serial killer because he was deprived of the latest-n-greatest video game. Your child will not have tragically low self esteem because she didn't get the most recent incarnation of the Bratz "how to be a ho'" dolls. In fact, I would argue that your child might even be BETTER off, learning to weather some disappointment early on in life, learning that they don't get everything they want just because they ask for it.
Oh - and all the people this week who treated my dad like he was a feeb because he uses a walker or cane sometimes, can sod off. His brain is fine, thanks. It's his knee that's fucked up. I watched as he made SPECIAL EFFORTS to be carrying on what even idiots could perceive as intelligent and meaningful conversations or making comments so the stupid waitresses wouldn't think he was a drooling stroke victim. It pisses him off to be treated with pity, and it pisses me off to see people piss him off. So don't make any fucking assumptions, okay, until you're really clearly sure the person can't manage themselves.
Posted by: ricki at November 24, 2006 10:29 AM