-The asshole too busy yapping on their cell phone to notice there was a FUCKING PERSON in front of their car and therefore nearly ran me over.
-Really long voice mail messages with elaborate instructions that explain to you "when you are finished speaking, hang up." Thanks. I might have sat for the rest of the day clutching the phone to my face if you hadn't made that clear.
-Work related shitheads I can't mention by name, title, department or occupation for obvious reasons.
-Rupert Everett for saying "it's just like every other religion." NO. IT. ISN'T.
-Stress headaches.
All of 'em can fuck off.
Happy Friday.
Posted by Emily at January 19, 2007 07:16 AM | TrackBack (0) | Category: The FFOT 2007Isaiah Washington can fuck off with his bullshit apology.
Oh, and fuck off to the 90% of the human race who just ASSUME that EVERYONE in their RIGHT MINDS prefer sunshine and warmth to cold and grey skies. Seriously - it's an epidemic that goes straight down to the weathermen who say blithely: "Good news! Sunshiny 60 degree weather for the next 20 days!" Dude. Why are you editorializing? To me, it's NOT good news. Okay? Not everybody loves the sun for fuck's sake. I am so psyched that today there is snow and everyone just wants to commiserate with me about a-boo-hoo a-boo-hoo isn't it horrible how cold it is?
NO. It's not, you whiny asswipes.
STOP ASSUMING that just because YOU like something - then everyone else MUST. It's fucking obnoxious.
I like the cold, and I like the grey skies. Stop gaping at me in confusion when I say so - as though I have said, "I adore killing baby puppies." It just shows your lack of imagination and your own self-absorption.
Posted by: red at January 19, 2007 07:27 AMFor some reason, Sheila, after your comment, all I can think about is that scene in L.A. Story where Steve Martin's giving the weekend weather and throwing these little magnetic, smiley suns all over a map of L.A. yelling "SUN! SUN! SUN!" And then it rained all weekend.
Posted by: Emily at January 19, 2007 07:32 AMFor a variety of specific reasons too numerous to list without ignoring work for the rest of the day, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Ted Kennedy, and the rest of the Democratic "feels good" knobs can fuck off. With cheese.
red:
Do you live in the Pacific Northwest? We gots lots of cloudy days here! Especially along the west side of the Cascades.
Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at January 19, 2007 07:42 AMI'm tired of Isaiah AND Katherine Heigl. They can both fuck off. Last time I looked, TR Knight was a man, and he can fight his own battles, Blondie.
Stupid prosecutors who are aghast at the fact that people charged with serious crimes have the temerity to hire defense attorneys AND, shock!, put on a defense can fuck off. You clog up my docket. If your case is that good, take it to trial. Stop acting offended that people don't just lie down and plead guilty automatically.
Fuck off to bad timing. Opportunity needed to knock about a month ago or it needs to wait about three more months. Fucking opportunity.
Posted by: Cullen at January 19, 2007 07:50 AMRed: I LOVE overcast, blustery days. Nice to know theres another loon out there. Sun sucks. Fuck the stupid sun. Course if it gets too dark, I'm screwed. No night vision. :-(
A big fuck off to eye strain headaches. I can handle about 20 minutes of reading a day (of regular print at least, larger print bumps it upa bit) before the Excedrin comes out. And people who insist on giving me dirty looks for pulling out the cokebottle reading glasses can fuck off too. Knock that shit off. Yes I'm young. No I can't get contacts or Lasic. Fuck you.
Semesters like this one make me wish that some one being an asshole were REALLY a legal reason to bump 'em off. Because... well, yeah.
Posted by: alli at January 19, 2007 07:51 AMsheila, I am so totally with you on the weather thing. I can't get the weather casters who are all bewildered that it's cold out. It's JANUARY, you creeps! It's SUPPOSED to be cold!
Likewise, I wish they'd totally buzz off when, in the middle of a summer-time drought, they are all chirpy and happy: "Another string of bright sunny 95 degree days! No rain in sight! Yay!" I'd like to make THEM go on strict water-rationing when it doesn't rain and see how happy they're about it then.
But that's not my eff off.
My eff off is to the people in the world who think it is a wonderful idea to put an assload of subwoofers in their car - so many that instead of hearing music, the people on the street only hear the dull buzzy rattling of the metal panels on the car and a thump kind of like someone beating a sack of wet feathers on the side of a shed - and then crank the bass and drive around residential neighborhoods at 11 pm.
I'd also like to offer an eff off to the people who are so proud of their shiny new car or truck, and who feel it is so extra-special and deserving, that they take up two whole parking places with it in a lot that is KNOWN to get full. You're really, really lucky I am too nice of a person (and too worried about being caught) to "key" a car or else your nice shiny new vehicle wouldn't be so much so by the time you toddled out of class or your office.
Oh, and the students who can't seem to walk 200 yards from their dorm to the classroom building - and so, drive from the DORM PARKING LOT to the BUILDING PARKING LOT, taking up spaces that commuters - people who really are coming in from too far to walk - need, can eff off. ESPECIALLY if said student then complains that they're "getting too fat." Hey, Einstein! There's a connection between never moving your ass and "getting too fat"! Try walking - and leave the parking to those of us who really CAN'T roll out of bed and still get to class in less than 5 minutes.
Posted by: ricki at January 19, 2007 08:01 AMalli, people give you strange/bad looks because of your glasses?
Dude, that is seriously screwed up.
Posted by: ricki at January 19, 2007 08:02 AMFuck off people who give dirty looks for pulling out cokebottle glasses from me too!
Full disclosure: I never pull out cokebottle glasses for reading. I wear them all the time.
Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at January 19, 2007 08:03 AMThe cars with the subwoofers my brother calls them whale hummpers. I love the wind, rain, and clouds that is why I live in the Northwest. I lived in Tucson for a time and I hate the constant sun shine.
My fuck of today is to people who just give up and get ready to die when they don't get a good report from the doc.
Posted by: nulaanne at January 19, 2007 08:07 AMWhale humpers. That is classic.
Posted by: Emily at January 19, 2007 08:09 AMThe weather gods can fuck off, the person behind me this morning slid on the snow and took out my passenger side mirror.
Posted by: Tainted Bill at January 19, 2007 08:17 AMWhatever bad sign's passed over my store can fuck off. Seriously. It reads like an Edward Gorey version of the 12 days of Christmas. 1 dead parent, 2 injured and out-for-days department heads, 3 hospital sick kids....
It doesn't happen in 3's around here. I just know it comes in bunches.
So. Whatever higher power, saint, demigod or force of nature or chaos that causes such things, that's found itself offended by something somebody's done at work can fuck off.
Also, the customer for whom his happiness hinges upon our having in stock Strawberry flavored Nutri-Grain Bars? Sir, a man with priorities so far out of whack deserves neither Strawberry flavored Nutri-Grain Bars nor happiness.
It's definitely not worth throwing a fit in a public place in front of a Tommy who hadn't had a chance to sit and eat Anything in right around 10 hours. So, take your Strawberry flavored Nutri-Grain Bars, mash them into a fine paste, slather yourself with them and fuck the hell off.
I'd never addressed that irony, either. This whole shit where I don't get to take a break to eat while I work, surrounded by food, that's bullshit, too. But then, that's mostly my doing, and I've already spent my daily 15 minutes telling myself to fuck off. No need to belabor the point.
Posted by: Tommy at January 19, 2007 08:22 AMFuck off Scary Reid for introducing a bill to require all bloggers with 500 or more readers and who discuss policy to register with the gov't. Fuck Off, Fuck Off, and, yes, Fuck Off!
And I'm not sure if I can even say this, but a big FUCK OFF to the Grim Reaper. Don't you know there's a fuck head down in Cuba waiting for you? Please, take that shit bird the fuck away!
Whale humpers. Yeah, that's a keeper. And fuck them, too.
"whale humpers." Well, at least I will be able to laugh while I am not being able to sleep when someone is "cruising" with one of those things.
Seriously? Is this like a deer-with-big-antlers kind of thing? Is it that the guys think women will mate with them because they have a big-ass stereo in their cars? I don't quite get it, but then I've often been kind of on the outside of the "mating" pool.
(I tend to think that a guy that cares that much about his car stereo - especially when he seems oblivious to the comfort of the people in the neighborhoods he's blasting - isn't exactly a "catch.")
Oh, and another one: eff off to the woman last night who was in the 10-items-or-less lane with 40 items. And eff off to the grocery store for not policing the thing. I had EXACTLY 10 items but I had to go and stand behind some other doofus with a cartful just because Blondie was too special and had to use the "short" lane, and because the woman checking her out lacked the ova to say, "Lady, you are abusing one of our customer policies. Now go wait in line like you're supposed to."
And a double eff off for making the "express" lane the only lane where a person can buy cigs in the store. That policy is just so messed up that I didn't realize that it was the policy until just this minute, but now I see that it is. That pretty much GUARANTEES women like Blondie gettin' in that lane, ahead of people like me who don't smoke but who just want to get the hell out of the wal-mart.
Posted by: ricki at January 19, 2007 08:36 AMCurious feller,
Are you shitting me about Reid? How on Earth would they even keep track? Or they going to require bloggers to submit site statistics? I don't even have any kind of web tracker, so I have no idea how many people even read this blog on any given day.
sheila, I forgot to mention that the one thing that I really loathed about Kuwait was the near non-stop sunshine (I recall the average rainfall there being under 4 inches per year).
I mean, EVERY EFFING DAY, sunshine. We used to get excited when a few wispy cirrus clouds wafted across the sky....some people went outside to look at them, to try to remember what overcast skies looked like.
Seriously -- sand storms were a welcome break, even with the grit getting between your teeth.
So I'm with ya on that one!
Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at January 19, 2007 08:41 AMFuck off Scary Reid for introducing a bill to require all bloggers with 500 or more readers and who discuss policy to register with the gov't. Fuck Off, Fuck Off, and, yes, Fuck Off!
Not entirely accurate, but still disturbing. There is some commentary on this at Protein Wisdom and Captain's Quarters.
And it's one of the many reasons why I included Reid in my own FUCK OFF post this morning.
Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at January 19, 2007 08:45 AMHere's a link to what I read about it (thanks, Babalublog). It all depends on how one defines the word "paid". If "paid" includes donations, then yes, it's accurate. Wonder which way Scary and his buddies will choose to interpret it when it comes time?
http://armsandthelaw.com/archives/2007/01/register_blogge_1.php
Posted by: Curious Feller at January 19, 2007 08:51 AMI had thought of this earlier, but forgot to mention it. The bill that Scary introduced sort of reminds me of the old drug tax stamps that were sold years ago. If a drug dealer was caught and hadn't purchased the correct amount of drug stamps, he could then be tried for tax evasion as well. I don't know that there ever was a drug stamp sold, but they did actually exist for that reason.
Posted by: Curious Feller at January 19, 2007 08:55 AMI'd like to give a belated, but somehow still timely, Fuck Off to Rosie O'Donnell, who has somehow decided that she is now the arbiter of all that is good and right and wholesome.
Rosie, I did not give shit one about your contretemps with the walking hairdo, nor do I particularly care what you think about the EEEEVILLES of reality TV. I've had a mild, simmering hatred of you on low boil since your weird-ass meltdown/attack on Tom Selleck lo these many years ago which immediately preceded your Angry Lesbian With A Misspelled Blog phase, but the fact that you seem incapable of keeping the mask of fake niceness in place for more than 15 minutes of air time combined with your holier-than-thou attitude has pushed me over the edge!
Shut the hell up you sanctimonous, mean-spirited hypocrite! Oh, and you? Are NOT ee cummings, so KNOCK IT OFF with the misspelled, un-capitalized bullshit free-form rantings that you pull fully formed from your ass and splatter across the internet in the name of poetry!
I hope Barbara Walters bitchslaps you into next week, and that Star Jones forces you to go out to lunch with her to "commiserate."
There. I feel better now.
Posted by: BAW at January 19, 2007 09:00 AMId like to offer a well needed FUCK THE FUCK OFF to people who are constantly complaining about and criticizing the city they live in. If it isnt the damned traffic, its the housing costs, if it isnt the housing cots its the insurance costs, if it isnt the insurance costs its the high cost of living if it isnt the high cost of living its the crime if it isnt the crime its the this or that or the other thing. FOR FUCKS FUCKING SAKE, GET THE FUCK OVER IT AND FUCK THE FUCK OFF. if you dont like where you live, FUCKING GET THE FUCK OUT. Nobody's stopping you from moving. Just pack your shit into a fucking UHAUL and take your FUCKING WHINY BULLSHIT WITH YOU. Chances are that when you get to that fucking paradise you moved to, youll just start bitching and moaning all over again becaus eevery place has it's ups and donw, pros and cons. Its a fact of life, FUCKTARDS, accept it, try some seratonin or something or FUCK THE FUCK OFF.
Posted by: Val Prieto at January 19, 2007 09:05 AMAnd I thought of a better one. Fuck off to this whole non-binding resolution affair.
Posted by: Cullen at January 19, 2007 09:05 AMHeh heh--"whale humpers"--reminds me of a crazy song by this Scandinavian group "Whale" called "Hobo Humpin' Slobo Babe." I don't know what "Slobo" means but the refrain is infectious and it was a favorite of my late college buddy. Which reminds me, cancer can fuck off. Repeatedly.
O.K., Gentlemen, please avert your eyes on this one b/c it's not polite in mixed company but it's really irritating me so that's why I saved it for the end. Seriously, fellas--skip to the next post.
Tampons that are impossible to open without ripping the entire freakin' wrapper can fuck off! I'm already clumsy and short-tempered this time of the month!!!
Posted by: Kate P at January 19, 2007 09:07 AMVal,
There was the period a little over ten years ago where it was very fashionable to live in L.A. but complain about how much you hated it. Good for you, asshole. GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. There was even a bumper sticker I saw that read "If you hate L.A. so much then please leave and take a million of your best friends with you." I loved that one.
Emily,
Miami is the same now. Seems everyone moves down and five minutes later theyre fucking complaining about everything. Fuck them.
Kate,
if I may add hardy FTFO to the supermarket or drigstore checkout poeple that look at me with this snarky dumbass look on their faces when i purchase tampons for my wife. WHAT THE FUCK IS SO FUCKING FUNNY ASSHOLES? IM BUYING FUCKING TAMPONS, SO FUCKING WHAT? THEYRE FOR MY FUCKING WIFE FUCKTARDS, IM NOT BUYING THEM TO SEE WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE AND GAIN SOME FUCKING KNOWLEDGE INTO THE FEMALE PSYCHE OR SOMETHING NOR AM I USING THEM AS FUCKING LEGOS OF LINCOLN LOGS. FUCKING FUCK THE FUCK OFF ASSHOLES.
Posted by: Val Prieto at January 19, 2007 09:16 AMVal,
I had a male friend of my husband's chide him because I had left my feminine hygiene products out IN THE OPEN, you know, IN MY OWN BATHROOM. Which is the master bath, you know, away from the main traffic areas of my house. (I don't know why he was using it; I wasn't home. We have a freaking hall bathroom. It has gun magazines and WWII books in it. It is manly, and free of tampons.)
Posted by: Lisa at January 19, 2007 09:27 AMOh, yeah, FUCK OFF to rubber stamping, process-driven, inflexible bureaucrats. If you want me to order a specific model from a given vendor, GIVE ME THE FUCKING INFORMATION WHEN I SUBMIT THE ANNUAL PURCHASE PLAN THAT YOU INSIST THAT I GIVE YOU BEFORE I CAN BUY ANYTHING!!!!
And if I specifically ask you (as I did, *after* I submitted said purchase plan) what and where I should look for, DON'T FUCKING IGNORE ME, YOU RIGID CHUNK OF PROTOPLASM!!!!!! Answer the question then. Don't wait until the actual purchase request crosses your desk to ask "Why are you buying this model from that vendor?"
Oh, and don't make me ask TWICE as to which fucking vendor I should get the fucking item from. And then GIVE ME A LIST OF FUCKING VENDORS THAT CARRY THE FUCKING ITEM, not a model number and the official web site that we are supposed to use first. At the very least, DO A SEARCH YOURSELF, so that you realize that you sent me to a dead end, since I can't buy this item separately, it has to be part of a system.
This forces me to FUCKING GOOGLE the entire FUCKING world, only to discover that the fucking model you want me to buy FUCKING COSTS MORE, and is available ONLY FROM THE FUCKING MANUFACTURER, when in fact ANY FUCKING MODEL FROM ANY FUCKING MANUFACTURER WITH THE SAME FUCKING SPECIFICATIONS WILL DO AS WELL. And for a lot less fucking money.
All of this just so all of our cubicles look the same. WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKING MAROONS!!!!!
Thank you. I now feel much better.
Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at January 19, 2007 09:32 AMLove the sun. Hate the cold and rain. But all this is because I have to work outside a lot and wind, mud and wet? Not fun.
Anyway, my big fuck off goes to those special members of the state legislature who treat my office like it is some special nest of serfs. You know what guys? We have actual work that we're doing. Add to that, that when session opens we have to review hundreds of bills a day and track legislation. In other words, we are FUCKING BUSY. And we are not your staff. I don't need to come in every morning and see little email messages from you asking for all this obscure information that you need in two hours. FUCK OFF! This is why you have research offices you fucking idiots!
And Val, Lincoln Log tampons are a great idea! That could be a whole new chapter in the revised edition of Are You There God, It's Me Margaret.
Posted by: nancy at January 19, 2007 09:39 AMAny man who (willingly or even not) goes out and buys tampons, etc., for his wife or girlfriend deserves AT LEAST a "golf clap," and certainly not strange looks.
if I see a guy in the store with a box of fem hyg products? I think, wow, there goes a nice guy. And someone who's enough at home with manhood and womanhood and all the messy stuff that comes with it.
Posted by: ricki at January 19, 2007 10:10 AMLOL I can't believe what I started. . . you know, Val, as a corollary to what you endure from the cashiers (BTW God bless you for that), I almost make it a point when I'm buying fem supplies to go to a male cashier to see if they'll cringe when they have to pick up the box. Just a psychological experiment. They probably would like me and my little flower-printed box to FO!
Posted by: Kate P at January 19, 2007 10:55 AMricki,
I dont know how "willing" I am, or whether Im a nice guy or not, but I certainly have no problems doing the favor for my wife.
the funniest are the young single guys who almost have to hold back laughter. As if they'll be able to get away with never running that errand for their wives.
Posted by: Val Prieto at January 19, 2007 11:12 AMThank you, Ricki! I was a single dad with a daughter for about ten years (including puberty) and I had to overcome squeamishness really fast. I used to make her tear the top off the box and send it with me, though, as I was damned if I was going to try to comparison-shop.
Although I did have to stop a strange woman in the store aisle and ask, "Excuse me, but are these the generic equivalent of those?"
And eastern Washington winters can fuck off. It's been getting down to about zero for weeks, with bright, desert sunshine. If it's going to be this cold, it damn well ought to snow more than this. (We just finally got a couple of inches yesterday.)
Posted by: Joel, president of Catholics for Xenu at January 19, 2007 11:32 AMOh, I am so so happy to read that so many of you out there are with me on the weather thing. This is one of the greatest side effects of Friday Fuck Offs. You actually realize: oh God, I'm not the only one who feels this way? YAY!
Posted by: sheila at January 19, 2007 11:48 AMFTFO to bullshit red tape that says I have to sit through a HOSPITAL fire safety class. I don't work in the hospital. I work across the fucking street. I'm not legally allowed to touch patients.
But yet somehow it is URGENT that I know about the duties of the fucking charge nurse during a fire emergency.
Yeah. And somehow none of this made it on to the exam.
Fuckers. Fuck off and die. With the Whale Humpers. No cheese.
Posted by: caltechgirl at January 19, 2007 12:42 PMA couple of threads down, Ken gave a personal send-off to "History's Greatest Monster." My eff off goes to the Vice Monster.
Mr. Mondale: I know how you think that a president here is like a cracker-ass "president" from some third-world basket-case where they're "elected" with Ivory Purity (99.44% of the vote). Your former boss is responsible for overseeing these farces and saying how much more wonderful and open and democratic they are than his own country's elections (the blessed old traitor).
However, despite his and your fevered illusions, a president can't simply fire a vice president. The VP can resign or he can not be picked to run again with the President - a moot issue in your sorry-assed case since your boy Jimmuh was mugwumped by Ronaldus Maximus. And if that wasn't enough, you decided to try your own hand and found that he had more of the same.
Maybe this makes you sore, or maybe your Ensure is a little too damned lumpy this morning, but you have scant authority and even less credibility to be telling Dick Cheney how to do his job. Shut your useless maw. While you're at it, try to get your ex-boss to do the same - but watch out that you don't get fired from your imaginary job as Vice-Presidential Conscience of the United States, you lackwit.
Posted by: Nightfly at January 19, 2007 12:47 PMAlso, FUCK TIVO. It took me 15 hours to get the fucking cocksucker box reset after a data glitch, and the motherfucker idiot (John) that I talked to first out and out lied to me and could have saved me about 8 hours of that work if he had told me THE FIRST FUCKING TIME that I would lose all of my Season Passes. ALL fucking 48 of them.
Can you remember 48 shows that you may or may not want to tape? At least 20 of the fuckers being educational shows that your husband tapes for his 150 fucking ungrateful ill-behaved little shit head troll brat students?
Oh, and a corollary FUCK OFF to the parents of said shithead children for letting them grow up to be the MOST selfish, disrespectful little fucktards I HAVE EVER MET.
Posted by: caltechgirl at January 19, 2007 12:47 PMI just want this week to fuck off already.
Posted by: marc at January 19, 2007 01:06 PMOh People in the 10 or less lane at the store piss me off. When I have my son with me and I am behind some asshole like that. I say very very loudly. "See this is why you got to private school, so you can count and know if you have 10 or not in your basket." That gets a good reaction out of them. I can be so evil...
Posted by: nulaanne at January 19, 2007 01:58 PMNulaane,
I think the 10-items-or-less violators annoy the cashiers as much as the customers. A while back, I was in line behind someone doing that and the cashier loudly said "I WISH THE DAMN REGISTER JUST WOULDN'T LET ME RING ANYTHING UP OVER TEN ITEMS."
Walmart has some that stop at 12. Of course the damn cashier rings up another check for the same idiot person.
Oh yeah, Fuck Walmart.
Posted by: caltechgirl at January 19, 2007 03:45 PMThe excuse I like from those people who can’t count is that they’ve “been waiting in line all this time” (yeah, like two minutes) so the cashier should just ring them up. Two minutes is enough time to 1) realize you have too many items and 2) stand in another fucking line. Is it that difficult??
This morning my co-worker and I had the misfortune of being visited by one of the clueless shrews from accounting. Just fuck off and shut the hell up. We don’t care that you had to shift your leather downstairs so you could chastise us in person, okay (she loves doing that)? Hearing your joyless whining and nagging in that sweet sweet voice makes me want to rip out every golden hair on your carefully coiffed head. And don’t talk to me in that exaggeratedly patient way either before I smack your whining gob off your face. Oh, and in case you think that we’re the only ones who can’t stand you, I can tell you for a fact that if you had gotten that supervisory position you applied for in your department there would have been a mutiny that would have made even Captain Bligh weep like a girl. So please. Fuck. Off! And stop dangling the “threat” of you quitting in front of our hopeful faces you sadistic bitch. Just quit your fucking job and get the hell out.
Sadly, an extra FO goes out to one of my cats, who is usually fairly well-behaved except for a few irritating habits (for which I voluntarily gifted my neighbors with cat repellent). To the cat: I suppose you think its funny to do an art project using the toilet seat, toilet water, and your dirty feet. And hey, let’s not limit your genius to the small bathroom—this is an art “installation” after all! Let’s include the hallway, the carpet, and the nice clean bed! And as a side bonus why don’t you rile the other cat up so he can’t sleep and had to crouch miserably under a desk trying to get away from you! Run noisily up and down the hallway while the whole family is trying to sleep! Whip through the curtains! Run over my mom while she’s watching/sleeping in front of the TV (extra points if you step on a sensitive organ)! Knock over plants so I’m showered with rocks, plant life, water, and vases (from across the room)! Do all this at fucking 11 p.m. on a weekday so I don’t get to sleep until much later and then have the pleasure of shampooing the fucking rug the next morning. I’m so fucking disappointed that you didn’t smack your peanut-brained head on the bottom of the coffee table when I ambushed you with that spray bottle of water. You stupid fucking spoiled cat (and guess whose fault it is that he’s so fucking spoiled?).
While we're on the subject of quick check lines, a hearty effoff to the cashier who saw that I had eleven of the SAME ITEM and sent me to another line. It takes less time to ring up the darn thing once and then press times eleven than it takes to ring up four different items.
Said cashier then has a ten minute conversation with the next customer while others are waiting in line.
Posted by: Christina at January 19, 2007 05:35 PMCaltechgirl
I'd like to echo the Fuck Walmart. After a shitty day, I only wanted to go in there to buy one product. They were out of it. Fuck off, Wal Mart. I'll see if Kmart has it.
Posted by: Tainted Bill at January 19, 2007 06:05 PMAs this issue is still hot, I'm sorry if I offend anyone with this one:
To Orpah [yeah, the spelling is intentional]: Fuck the Fuck Off. The Hornbeck kid has been back in the family fold for what, a week? And you swoop in like the bastard stepchild of a vulture, oozing empathy while uttering that "you don't want to go there". But you did. Exposing, for real, the Sally Field "love me" ratings whore that you are.
That the parents agreed doesn't fill me with any great warmth. But knowing that the media swarmed over this family and you obviously made them an offer that could not be refused, just makes. me. sick.
I'd like to offer a fuck off to all the Saints fans who are only cheering for them because they are such a "great story". Especially to those who don't even know who plays for the team. Fu-uck YOU. GO home. People walking around O'hare telling us that Chicago won't win because the Saints are a team "of destiny" good googly moogly I hope you lose. And lose badly. And not just because I'm a bears fan but because the "team of destiny" crap is STUPID. Say your team is better or something, but destiny is the harbor of losers who want to justify their success. Earn it and we'll be gracious... frame it as destiny and you're likely to get your car keyed. :-(
Posted by: alli at January 20, 2007 07:57 AMTo the (undoubtably) FUBU-sporting sonofabitch that's claiming my wife is a RACIST because his out-of-control kid isn't getting the grades he thinks the brat deserves, DESPITE the fact that said darling been suspended on many occasions for violent outbursts in the classroom - resulting in "zero" test and assignment scores per school policy... FUCK OFF.
For calling my racially colorblind wife a "throwback to the Jim Crow era" in a letter to the administration of the school when she's done more for your child's self-esteem and sense of personal responsibility than you'll ever possibly admit because you're fishing for special treatment for your child - a pass for his antisocial behavior - for different treatment than a white child gets for the same infractions, because you want to teach your child to be a permanent "victim" of society instead of an upstanding and self-sufficient, self-motivating, self-respecting and successful member thereof... FUCK OFF you FUCKING FUCK!!
For threatening to file your formal charge of completely unfounded racism to the school board against a woman who spent our preciously-scarce $3.00/gal post-hurricane gasoline driving our gas-guzzling SUV to pick-up and distribute hurricane supplies to her poorest student's families (most of whom were black) in the wake of devastation left by the storms, risking her personal safety by driving and walking through debris-clogged streets DESPITE my protestations for her stay safely at home, GO FUCK YOURSELF - and TAKE A LONG FUCKING LOOK IN A FUCKING MIRROR TO SEE THE REAL FUCKING RACIST!!!
And for teaching your young child to utter the phrase about yet another teacher, "She doesn't like me because she's white"... (Note he didn't say 'because I'm black' - that would be simple victimhood.) For teaching your child to be a racist himself... Go enjoy your racist fuckfest with the likes of Farrakhan and the Revs. Sharpton and Jackson and just FUCK the FUCK OFF!!!!
Posted by: Anonymous at January 20, 2007 01:36 PMMan, anon. That sucks. :-(
GAWD, no fucking shit it sucks.
Anonymous, I think your wife should consult a lawyer for her own protection. Shitheels like that like to sue and they often get the financial backing of "civil rights" victimologists.
Which reminds me, a hearty generic FUCK OFF to Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. Just because.
Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at January 20, 2007 03:54 PM*long, low whistle*
a hearty generic FUCK OFF to Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.
In this part of the South, Wal-Mart's express lines are 20 items or less. I can usually fit into one of those lanes them without violating the spirit of the policy.
(It's not that I like shopping at Wal-Mart that much, but the store nearest me almost always has the only fresh bread in the city.)
While putting up a new shower curtain (yep, from Wal-Mart), it hit me that even if one wants to buy American, it is now almost impossible. Try to find a shower curtain that was manufactured in the 50 states and see how far you get.
My other "eff off" is the trend to set up "check yourself" lanes at supermarkets. It's perfectly acceptable to have self-serve lanes for those people who want to do it, but they should not use these lanes as an excuse for not staffing the regular lanes. Personally, I don't want to do the store's work for them so I don't use the self-serve lanes.
Posted by: M. Lee Rogers at January 21, 2007 04:22 PMI'm with Anon and his wife - I hate when people think that being held to the same standard as others is prejudicial. When he hits some real prejudice, that kid will be DEFENSELESS. He won't have any sort of accomplishment to stand on, and he won't have learned how to think for himself instead of merely reacting emotionally. He won't need racists to keep him down because he will never have learned to stand up.
Posted by: Nightfly at January 21, 2007 09:18 PM