"Euler was the Chuck Norris of mathematics."

hahahahahahahaha. I can just see the math-heads coming up with an "Amazing Facts about Leonhard Euler" page.

Euler doesn't run out of numbers, numbers run out of Euler?

(I am merely a wannabee math-head - as a statistician and ecologist, I can pose, but I can't really vogue, mathematics.)

My partial diff eq. teacher told me this joke:

How many legs does a horse have?

Well, it has two hind legs, and it also has forelegs. So if a horse has two hind legs, and forelegs, then it has six legs.

Now, six is an even number. But it's also a very odd number of legs for a horse to have. So if a horse has an even number of legs, and an odd number of legs, then it must have an infinite number of legs.

(Judging by this joke, it has an infinite number of very lame legs. I think we're going to have to shoot the poor beast.)

HA!

Some I just came up with. I may break down and make a separate post.

Amazing facts about Leonhard Euler:

Euler never runs out of numbers. Numbers run out of Euler.
Euler didn't have to prove the Basel problem. He stared it down and it proved itself.
Euler can write out all the digits of e. And pi. At the same time. He can also write out the digits of i, it just takes a little longer.
Euler has walked the Königsberg bridges without crossing the same bridge twice.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero. Euler can divide zero by zero.

I don't know many math jokes, but this one was in today's paper:

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary numbers, and those who don't.

I'm afraid I don't get the sheep joke. I googled for it (what's an Eigen sheep?) and found this forum, a wellspring of bad math jokes. E.g.:

I tried to program my computer to find out the answer [to the sheep joke], but it ran out of RAM.

What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?
Can't be done. The mosquito is a vector; the mountain climber is a scalar.

Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?
To get to the other, uh...

A dirty math joke:
SQRT[69]=8...something...

And now, one of the world's worst puns:
Once an Indian tribe had three women in labor at once, so they put them all in one teepee. The woman who was lying on the deerskin gave birth to a five-pound boy. So did the woman who was lying on the buffalo skin. But the woman who was lying on the hippopotamous skin gave birth to a ten-pound girl. And so we see that the squaw of the hippopotamous hide equals the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.

HAHAHA! Thanks Angie!

It took me a little while to "get" the Eigen sheep joke.

it helps to read the answer out loud, and to think Greek. (No, not the kind of Greek thinking people make jokes about...the Greek alphabet kind of thinking)

Will you settle for a physical chemistry joke? How do we know that hell is isothermal?

I'm always up for a physical chemistry joke. How do we know that Hell is isothermal?

BTW, a small correction: DNT's class is "Euclidian and non-Euclidian Geometry". I think that about covers it all.

There are two good answers (see here, one that postulates that hell is isothermal, because any engineers or physicists in hell would otherwise construct a heat engine to cool off part of it, and if everyone is supposed to suffer there, that can't be the case. The other answer is that hell is exothermic. I prefer that one:

""IS HELL EXOTHERMIC OR ENDOTHERMIC? Support your answer with truth."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay
constant.

Case 1: If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.

Case 2: If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell
freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa Banyan during my freshman year, "it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then case 2 cannot be true.

Thus, hell is exothermic.

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.

The original version of this joke appeared in Applied Optics, vol. 11, A14
(1972) - reference in p. 106 of "A Random Walk in Science", compiled R L
Weber, published IoP 1973."

Hah.

*snort*

Forwarded to the Daughters One and Two.