it comes in pints?

Country/Western Trivia (Merle Haggard Edition)

[UPDATE: Gentleman (subsp. "whipped") Joel's original comment restored, and the answers guessed so far noted. That leaves Nos. 2 and 9 not yet answered. C'mon, kids, this is MERLE we're talking about here! He turned 70 this year, the least you can do is get them all! Unanswered questions bolded.]

Important life lesson learned.

I spent some time last Sunday afternoon going through family pictures, and spent anywhere from a few minutes to an hour every evening this week doing the same.

The lesson I learned today? Don't follow up a week of being primed for sentimentality (of the borderline-morbid type) by taking a Merle Haggard CD on the weekly bike ride. Picked up that CD at Borders this morning on our roughly quarterly Borders run. Popped it in the player this afternoon, took off on a ride and started crying by the third song. Merle's kind of a bastard that way.

I hadn't listened to Merle in years and though I've long liked his stuff, I'm not familiar with many of his later songs. I had trouble choosing between two different CDs. One had 40 songs, the other had 26, and there was almost complete overlap of the songs I've loved for years. I said almost. Each was missing a song I wanted and it was a difficult choice. I finally decided on the 26-song CD because I couldn't bear the thought of not having my absolute favorite Merle song, which also happens to be the one that made me cry on the ride. In point of fact, though I was primed for it by a week of sorting family pictures, that song has made me cry since the first time I heard it. There's a reason it has become a cliche that country music causes people to drink in bars and this song is one of those reasons.

Anyway, that song and the other one I really wanted are among the questions below. Merle, you're a tear jerking son of a bitch, and we wouldn't have it any other way. And since you hailed from BAKERSfield, we'll have a trivia quiz with a BAKERS dozen of questions:

1) Last Sunday morning a choir from across the street came to sing a few old gospel songs. What did the prisoner ask them to do? [Angie and Joel: He asked them to "sing me back home" - GAWD this song tears me up every time I hear it.]

2) I'd like to settle down but they won't let me. Therefore, what conclusion may I draw from this? [Emily: It follows that I must outrun the law or spend my life in jail. I was actually going for "a fugitive must be a rolling stone", but both are accurate conclusions to be drawn.]

3) Your memory found me much too sober when I was with the one true friend I thought I'd found. Tonight what happened? [Joel: Tonight, the bottle let me down (and let your memory come around)]

4). They both robbed and killed until both of them died, and her poems told of lawmen who lay dying or dead. Who were they? [Joel: Bonnie and Clyde (or so goes their legend...)]

5) It was just long enough to let my heartache mend. Then what happened? [Lisa: Today I started loving you again]

6) In spite of all my Sunday learning, what happened? [Joel: Toward the bad I kept on turnin', till Mama couldn't hold me anymore. Whereupon I turned 21 in prison doing life without parole.]

7) I'd like to hold my head up and be proud of who I am. I paid the debt I owed them but they're still not satisfied. What am I? [Joel: I'm a branded man, out in the cold]

8) Things I learned in a hobo jungle they never taught me in a classroom. This old mental fat I'm chewin' didn't take a lot of doin', but what do I do? [Joel: I take a lot of pride in who I am]

9) They're shining in the sunlight and fading out of sight. Unfortunately, they're also taking you away. What are they?

10) Leather boots are still in style. What won't be seen? [Lisa and Joel: Beads and Roman sandals won't be seen]

11) Let this song I'm singing be a warning. Of what? [Angie and Joel: If you're running down our country, you're walking on the fightin' side of me]

12) I got laid off down at the factory and their timing's not the greatest in the world. But we'll be fine if we do what? [Angie and Joel: If we make it through December]

13) Been working everyday since I was twenty, and I'm tired of these dirty old sidewalks. What is my only request? [Lisa and Joel: Big city, turn me loose. Joel adds some specifics: Turn me loose, set me free somewhere in the middle of Montana, and give me all I've got coming to me (In return for which, you can have my retirement and my so-called Social Security.]

One final comment: While I can sympathize with some other parts of the song, I find the idea that they "don't make a party out of lovin'" to be just a wee bit shortsighted and unfortunate. That's the main reason I can't move there.

Posted by Ken S at August 25, 2007 03:52 PM | TrackBack (0) | Category: Country/Western Trivia