[UPDATE: See below]
Let's hear it for the (probable) atheist who just admitted in court papers that God exists and is "omnipresent".
Nebraska State Senator Sues GodActually, he went into much greater alliterative detail about "fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornados, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating drouths [sic]" before running out of alliterative allegations.LINCOLN, Neb. - The defendant in a state senator's lawsuit is accused of causing untold death and horror and threatening to cause more still. He can be sued in Douglas County, the legislator claims, because He's everywhere.
State Sen. Ernie Chambers sued God last week. Angered by another lawsuit he considers frivolous, Chambers says he's trying to make the point that anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody.
Chambers says in his lawsuit that God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."
His biggest problem is trying to figure out exactly why he wants to bring the suit.
Chambers said the lawsuit was triggered by a federal suit filed against a judge who recently barred words such as "rape" and "victim" from a sexual assault trial.I have no particular opinion on the merits of Bowen's lawsuit, though I fail to see why the words "rape" and "victim" should be banned from a SEXUAL ASSAULT TRIAL, those seeming to me to be rather central themes in a SEXUAL ASSAULT TRIAL. But the Right Ridiculous Mr. Chambers also claims, at the same time, to be striking a blow for the little guy to file all the goddam lawsuits he wants to.The accuser in the criminal case, Tory Bowen, sued Lancaster District Judge Jeffre Cheuvront, claiming that he violated her free speech rights.
Chambers said Bowen's lawsuit is inappropriate because the Nebraska Supreme Court has already considered the case and federal courts follow the decisions of state supreme courts on state matters.
Chambers says he isn't suing God because he has any kind of beef with the deity. He says the suit is to fight possible laws restricting the filing of frivolous lawsuits. Chambers tells KPTM FOX 42 News that his lawsuit is in response to bills brought forth by other state senators to try and stop lawsuits from being filed.Except"The Constitution requires that the courthouse doors be open, so you cannot prohibit the filing of suits," Chambers says. "Anyone can sue anyone they choose, even God."
Okay, in Chambers's defense, I will ask you to read the whole complaint. It's actually pretty amusing. A few choice excerpts:
JURISDICTION AND VENUEIt is, indeed, worthy of The Onion.4. This Honorable Court has jurisdiction by virtue of the fact that Defendant, being Omnipresent, is personally present in Douglas County
[...]
14. Plaintiff, despite reasonable efforts to effectuate personal service upon Defendant ("Come out, come out, wherever you are") has been unable to do so.
15. Plaintiff respectfully requests this Honorable Court to take judicial notice that Defendant, in addition to being Omnipresent, also is all-knowing ("Omniscient").
16. Plaintiff under the admittedly peculiar circumstances of this singular case, respectfully requests this Honorable Court to waive personal service.
17. In the alternative, Plaintiff respectfully requests this Honorable Court to find that lawful personal/constructive service has been effectuated by virtue of the fact that Defendant, being Omniscient, shall be deemed to have actual knowledge of this action, sufficient to satisfy all requirements of law regarding notice.
[...]
COUNT V
22. Defendant has manifested neither compassion nor remorse, proclaiming that Defendant "will laugh" when calamity comes.
UPDATE: Eugene Volokh also discusses it, and points to a case I had heard of. I wanted to mention it here but couldn't find when I posted. A fellow named Mayo sued Satan. Among the findings of the court was:
We note that the plaintiff has failed to include with his complaint the required form of instructions for the United States Marshal for directions as to service of process.Heh.
My boss has them use "alleged victim," especially in sexual assault cases where there is no medical evidence.
The word "victim" implies by definition that a crime has taken place, which sort of negates the whole "innocent until proven guilty" thing.
Posted by: Lisa at September 18, 2007 10:53 AM"drouth" is an acceptable spelling. If you're writing in 1850, that is.
This is so effing idiotic. Seriously, I think anyone who expresses a desire to go into politics these days should be tasered and then castrated. Or maybe the other way around, I don't know.
Posted by: ricki at September 18, 2007 10:55 AM"Drouth" is acceptable? I've never seen it.
Lisa, implying that a crime has taken place says nothing about the guilt or innocence of the defendant. That would still need to be proven.
I'm aware that there must also be proof that a crime actually occurred, but somehow I doubt that any judge would bar the use of the words "murder" or "robbery" even if they have not yet been proven. At most, one might require the word "alleged" to be wedged in there someplace.
Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at September 18, 2007 11:16 AMWith respect to the use of "rape" and "victim" in a sexual assault case has to do with the nature of the assault (could be nothing more than inappropriate touching, etc). Also, Lisa has a valid point.
What I don't get is his idea that by filing such a stupid lawsuit would actually help his argument that people should be able to file these kinds of suits.
Posted by: KG at September 18, 2007 11:20 AMIt depends on the nature of the alleged crime but it seems to me that if the charge is, in fact, rape then "alleged rape" and "alleged victim" are perfectly appropriate.
Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at September 18, 2007 11:36 AMWhat I don't get is his idea that by filing such a stupid lawsuit would actually help his argument that people should be able to file these kinds of suits
And why, if he believes anyone should be able to file suit against anyone, he should consider Bower's suit "inappropriate".
Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at September 18, 2007 11:38 AMWell, I've seen "drouth" used in some really old accounts of weather conditions. Maybe it was just an uneducated person's spelling but I had the sense that it was acceptable, at least in a past time.
Whatever. My opinion stands.
It's probably a good thing I'm not God, because if I were, I'd probably start in on this guy with a few ectoparasites in his nether regions, and then move on to mysterious food intolerances that cause severe flatulence...and go from there. I mean, if he really wants to see what a "terroristic threat" would look like from God.
Posted by: ricki at September 18, 2007 11:47 AMFWIW: drouth.
(Hey, I'm stuck at home waiting on the daggum plumber; I have nothing else to do but be pedantic.)
Posted by: ricki at September 18, 2007 11:48 AM"Chambers said Bowen's lawsuit is inappropriate because the Nebraska Supreme Court has already considered the case and federal courts follow the decisions of state supreme courts on state matters."
The suit's absurd for other reasons, but Chambers is off-base here. The suit, as far as I can tell, alleges a violation of the First Amendment: certainly sounds like a question of federal law to me. Moreover, I doubt that this specific issue would've been addressed by the Nebraska Supreme Court, as it's not something the actual parties to the criminal case (i.e., the state and the defendant) would've been likely to have raised. Therefore, you probably don't have an issue of res judicata, i.e. one court precluding itself from from re-hearing a question already previously decided by another court.
"My boss has them use "alleged victim," especially in sexual assault cases where there is no medical evidence.
The word "victim" implies by definition that a crime has taken place, which sort of negates the whole "innocent until proven guilty" thing."
Ugh, don't get me started on this. My office has had huge fights with judges about exactly this issue (admittedly with some judges who go further and will only allow "complaining witness," not even "alleged victim"). The State by the very act of bringing charges isn't neutral: it's presenting an argument and, as such, ought to be allowed to use the words "victim" and "crime" without having to qualify them. The prosecution cannot itself behave with a presumption of innocence, or no charges would ever be filed against anyone ever.
Moreover, I don't know immediately offhand about Arkansas, but the Florida Constitution has express provisions relating to victim's rights, most of which assume they attach PRIOR to conviction, i.e., the right to be consulted by the State, to be present at every stage of the process, and to address the court as to sentence, each of course to the extent not inconsistent with the rights of the defendant.
"Lisa, implying that a crime has taken place says nothing about the guilt or innocence of the defendant. That would still need to be proven."
As our standard jury instruction provides, the prosecution in every criminal case needs to proves two things beyond a reasonable doubt: 1) that the crime was committed and 2) that the defendant was the one who committed it. Obviously the two are distinct but neither can be presumed.
Posted by: Dave J at September 18, 2007 05:49 PMI need to clarify what I said yesterday, I guess. I should have said, "My boss has them use 'alleged victim' when it is requested by the defense, especially in sexual assault cases where there is no medical evidence."
This has only happened once, maybe twice, in the eight years we've been in office. Each time it was a "he said/she said" sex-type case where there was NO other "evidence" other than the statement of the alleged victim. (Yeah, yeah, I know that's still considered evidence, but it bugs me.) So when the State has to prove not only that the defendent was the one who committed the crime, but that there was even a crime committed, it was "alleged victim."
Sorry if I didn't make sense before, or if I don't make sense now; I'm coming off a three-day migraine.
Posted by: Lisa at September 19, 2007 06:02 AM