As mentioned before, Val Prieto's niece Maura is training for a marathon to benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. She's currently about $450 $225 $85 [Update: The lovely Susanna, the lovely JeffS, the lovely Mr. Bingley, the lovely Nightfly, and I have cut the deficit to pieces] short of her goal of $4,000, and she would like your help.
To entice you to support this worthy cause, the Obi-Wan Kenobe of Friday F**k Offs has proposed a hell of a deal for you all: In exchange for a donation, Val will personally write a Friday F**k Off of your very own for the low, low, introductory price of just a buck for a F**K. For a simple five dollar donation, you will get five, count 'em, FIVE F**KS (in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS, no less) of varying grammatical forms (because variety is the spice of FFOT). Larger donations get more F**ks and greater permutations of f**kulatory goodness.
BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! For a donation of $50 or more, he will not only write you a scorching, F-bomb laced F**k Off, but he will personally record it and post an audio file to listen to and enjoy in the comfort of your own (hopefully sound-insulated) computer room! Isn't that incredible????????
How do you take advantage of this incredible offer? It is SIMPLICITY ITSELF! Just make your donation here, then send Val an email at the special address he set up for this very project: ffot@babalublog.com. In the email, include the amount of your donation, your particular gripe, and any particular grammatical form(s) of F-bomb that you would like. Then Val, the Capo di Tutti F**k Offs, will, in his very own words, "take it and tweak it into a F**KING masterF**KINGpiece. We should warn everyone that I will not be politically correct and that I may possibly sear people's eyeballs." And who doesn't want to see seared eyeballs?
I tell you, people, you can't go wrong with this deal. When was the last time you got a F**k for only a buck? DONATE TODAY!
Posted by Ken S at September 27, 2007 01:01 PM | TrackBack (0) |Thanks Ken!!!
You know, this may get kinda scary. Ive donned a hula girl outfit and shaved my legs for charity (on separate occassions) and then blogged it.
Im having a particularly bad day - broken a/c, broken pool pump, car problems, plumbing issues and dealing with Sears Repair people - so you know the FO's will be especially spicy this week. Heck, I may even write posts in verse.
...
Cracks knuckles. Turns CAPS LOCK ON....
Sweet...
I needed somewhere good to put $50 today. My name just appeared on the scroll and the FFOT request shall appear in the Sensei's in-box shortly.
Posted by: Susanna at September 27, 2007 04:59 PMYeah, me too. So I did too!
Now to ponder the poor, unsuspecting target of my delicious F**k Off...
Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at September 27, 2007 06:34 PMOK, I gotta go for $25 after last week's shopping "spree".......but it's there.
Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at September 27, 2007 07:32 PMI reached into the Wine Fund Jar and found $100 that needed a better home.
Now to decide who is deserving of The Master's ire...
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at September 28, 2007 04:43 AMHoly smokes! Thank you guys!
Man, it looks like the old keyboard is gonna be spewing flames today.
Posted by: Val Prieto at September 28, 2007 05:26 AMJust sent you the ffot request, Val
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at September 28, 2007 05:49 AM"Lovely JeffS"? That alone deserves a FFOT post.
Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at September 28, 2007 06:25 AMJeff,
yours is ready. I took the liberty of FF-ing a few select members of the group. hope thats ok.
Posted by: Val Prieto at September 28, 2007 06:39 AMJeff, it doesn't deserve it as much as "lovely Mr. Bingley".
Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at September 28, 2007 06:44 AMI dunno, kind of a nice ring, that.
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at September 28, 2007 06:56 AMAm perfectly fine with varying degrees of "lovely."
Posted by: Susanna at September 28, 2007 07:01 AMSusanna,
Your original request was a work of FFOT art. I felt kinda weird changing it. I hope it does not disapoint.
Posted by: Val Prieto at September 28, 2007 07:09 AMIn that case, Sensei, I defer to you!
When will we be able to read them/hear them? My bulk mail gobbled the email you sent me probably because it had the word FUCK in it.
FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK!
Posted by: Susanna at September 28, 2007 07:17 AMAlls Im waiting for is for Emily to post todays FFOT. Yours and Jeffs are lined up and ready to go. Bingleys is in the works and Ken has yet to decide who he wants me to slice and dice.
Please ensure that you are wearing polarized sunglasses when reading as I do not want to be responsible for searing eyeballs.
Posted by: Val Prieto at September 28, 2007 07:33 AMHow many corporate internet filters are going to be shredded today?
Posted by: Mr. Bingley at September 28, 2007 07:35 AMVal, as I said, you are The Master™. I bow to your judgement.
Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at September 28, 2007 07:41 AMSusan, I'm sure that "lovely" fits you like a glove. Me, I've spent most of my life training to be a curmudgeon. "Lovely" don't hack it.
Now, the Bingster is a different matter all together......
Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at September 28, 2007 07:44 AMI'm in. My PG version is simply insufficient to demonstrate my feelings on the subject.
Posted by: nightfly at September 28, 2007 07:58 AM