Well, considering the number of miscommunication and misunderstanding balls-up I've been in this week, either the rest of the world can fuck off or I can.

And sadly, Ockham's Razor suggests that if there's a problem that could either be caused by one person or by everyone else, the simplest explanation is that one person.

So I guess I can fuck off for this week. Sigh. It's been a pretty sucky week. Perhaps next week will be better.

What a coincidence, Ricki--I'm ready to tell myself to fuck off as well. I left an asinine message on someone's voice mail! "Call me back if you feel like it." Um, if you feel like it? WTF was that? I want a return call!

Things will be better next week, right?

Emily, you just KNOW there are some drivers out there who get their jollies splashing pedestrians. Sickos.

Hey Emily - did you see this? Someone is having a clam-bake! (or would that be busting a clam bake?)

http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/15132759/detail.html

FO to current stand of GOP Presidential Nominees...they are all a bunch of putzes - F U for making me have to hold my nose again this November. FO especially to John McInsane. Youre a no-good Benedict Arnold.

FO to Hildabeast for claiming to represent women and minorities, but using her campaign to beat up on a black guy that has the audacity to oppose her. FU swinging with a stick up your butt.

FO to Obama. Youre a Muslim mole. FO in a big way. Heretic.

There.

I feel better now.

Thank you for this thread!!

Sharon,
Yup, news like that has been all over the place this last week. It couldn't happen to a nicer and more deserving bunch of people. There's a kind of "beginning of the end" feeling to this right now. The sad thing is, I don't want there to be some kind of backlash against ordinary, rank-and-file clams. Most of them are good people who just got sucked in by a scam. The leadership is rotten to the core and there are charlatans pulling the strings, but the people they have exploited, ripped off, and possibly even ruined should not have to pay any further for that.

Aside from my normal assortment of tirades (coworkers who tailgate me on the way to work, marketing geeks on speakerphones who don't even acknowledge the existence of us peons, etc.), I must give a hearty FTFO to our local DA, which in this case applies more to the more traditional acronym, the one referring to the hair-do.
Just in the past couple of weeks, this guy:
-was exposed sending romantic emails to a female coworker he was having an affair with
-delete said emails, in violation of a court order (but wasn't put in contempt)
-personally gave said coworker an $11,000 a year raise (there's normally a committee to give raises but he approved this one himself, so she now makes almost $90K, as a secretary!)
-dismissed a grand jury indictment for arson against a Texas Supreme Court Justice and his wife
-disbanded said grand jury after two members spoke out in outrage
and he refuses to admit he did anything wrong! This is the guy who is supposed to be an example of the justice system! Amazing, isn't it? Makes my BP spike just seeing him on TV.
So, that's my rant for now. Maybe more later, but I really need a Val rant to inspire me... (hint hint)

OOOO thats a good point...I'm thoughtless :( - you are so right. I hope the hackers will at least be focused on the leadership.

Meetings can fuck off. Sideways. With knobs on.

Sharon -- as far as the hacking goes, I think it's a little bit childish, albeit somewhat deserved, given the amount of time the Clams have spent trying to shut down anyone who criticizes them over the internet (they managed to get the First Church of Xenu site taken down. Bastards). The way I see it, it's funny, but not necessarily wise to respond to people who behave badly in kind. Most of the vocal critics are good about not crossing that line, but there are occasions where some have been antagonistic or nasty and it hurts more than it helps.

I hadn't heard about the Clambake, but I doubt it will get very far. Probably a bunch of pimple-faced boys sitting around eating Doritles and chortling at their monitors.

Emily, you just KNOW there are some drivers out there who get their jollies splashing pedestrians. Sickos.

When I was in high school, one of my buddies rigged up a fuel pump to a water jug and ran a tube out through his front grill. He could thus make his car urinate on pedestrians at crosswalks, which was highly entertaining to a couple of 17-year-olds.

The vulture-voiced vaginaclot at the next desk can fuck off for canceling my freelancer budget on a big upcoming project. She can fuck off twice over with a corroded battery cable for not telling me until after I had already promised the money to my best stringer. Do you want good product, or do you want revenge for losing face last year when the boss backed me up on the same fucking thing? Bitch.

The ghouls hanging around Heath Ledger's corpse can fuck off. I don't care whom the masseuse phoned. I don't care what kind of pills he was taking or why. His death is our loss because he was a talented actor (with or without having done Flaming Saddles), and it's a bigger loss because his family loved him and his little girl will never know him. Dissecting his final moments is nothing more than news porn.

Oh, and once again, Fred Phelps and his dirty-eared inbreds can fuck off. It's beginning to be a badge of honor to have your funeral picketed by these fuckleheads.

Oh, and Washington's CPS can fuck off and die, slowly and painfully, alone and isolated from their families.

I half expect to find them at my doorstep when I get home, to take my kids, for having said that. Fucking KGB bastards.

Oh, and Washington's CPS can fuck off and die, slowly and painfully, alone and isolated from their families.

I half expect to find them at my doorstep when I get home, to take my kids, for having said that. Fucking KGB bastards.

Joel,
"Anonymous" has done a pretty nifty job so far. The Clams may have money and influence, but so do some of their critics, even if they won't admit their objections publicly (even a guy with a lot of money like Bob Minton eventually gave up after spending millions of his own money just because he wanted to be left in peace). The official website was shut down for days. They're not just dorito eating nerds who can't get a date.

Good lord, I really can fuck off.

I suggested a simple solution to a problem and now the people I suggested it to are all "nooooo! You can't do it that way!" and it's going to wind up dragging one of my colleagues into the giant pit of cheese too.

If I hadn't said anything, there would have been no problem.

Do they have a plastic surgery that permanently closes one's mouth for talking, but still allows one to eat?

I give a great big YES to all these FO's!

Aside to Ricki: I've often wondered how few brain cells I'd have to get rid of (A) to turn off my mouth and (B) to remain unriled by the idiots who necessitate most of these FO's.

My wife's dickhead asswipe of a boss can FUCK THE FUCK OFF with FUCKING CHEESE KNOBS AND ASS NACHOS. First, this is fucking Miami where most of the time the temperature ranges from FUCKING HOT AS FUCK TO ASS IN FUCKING HELL HOT AS FUCK. We have what we call FUCKING AIR CONDITIONING here because humans need to be cool. Thus, there's no need for you to have a FUCKING SPACE FUCKING HEATER IN YOUR SMALL 8 BY 8 OFFIICE blasting hot FUCKING air all day long, every day, winter spring summer or FUCKING fall. Your assitants and associates are sweating their FUCKING ASSES OFF, BITCH. BY YOURSELF A FUCKING PARKA.

Also, please frgive my wife for such "traumas" that you are so "tired of hearing about" like when she had a car accident because you kept calling her while she drove or when her mom was in hospital. For telling my wife - who after wrecking her FUCKING car, went to work instead of going, say, to the FUCKING HOSPITAL - that you coouldnt be bothered with the details fof said accident, YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU FUCKING SLAVEDRIVING MOTHERFUCKING LIBERAL HYPOCRITE MOTHERFUCKING PLASTIC SURGERIED BUTTPUCK.

Well, looks like Val is off the Prosac.

That's good.

Though the injuries to your wife are less good, Val.

Yeah, I hope she's okay, Val!

And whoever it was in this building who just microwaved whatever the hell is making it smell like Bombay let out a fart so big it drifted across two oceans and landed in our kitchen can fuck off. I don't think a case of Lysol could make the stench go away.

The mrs. didnt suffer any bad injuries, but she was incredibly shook up. It pised me off to no end when her "boss" acted like an asshole. I called her up and told her that slavery had ended in this country in the 1800s. The Mrs quit, tuesday will be her last day and her "boss" is going all apeshit and is now sweet as mollasses. has even offered to double her salary, but my wife will take nothing less than a partnership at this point.

Ditto for your wife, Val. She okay?

Oops. Cross post

Val, I hope your wife is OK!

Meetings can fuck off. Sideways. With knobs on.

Ditto, with a serving of ass nachos* and cheesedip. As for the ponitificating prima dona personalalities presiding over said meeting (lasting THREE FUCKING HOURS), they can fuck off in a spiral pattern while munching on as asspie.

GOD, I'm glad it's Friday. I am so out of this joint today.

===============================
*: Shamelessly stolen from Val!!

Partnership, hell, Val, give her ownership of the firm!!!!! That asshat sounds like great flunky material.

Make her a nice drink, val; she'll be quite sore none the less in the morning. Glad she's ok, though, and good job in kicking the buttpuck's metaphorical ass.

Way to stick it to the boss, Mr. and Mrs. Val--and feel better, Mrs. Val!

Bombay fart, Emily? Is your office in my apartment building? My condolences.

I think I'm going to start using the word "buttpuck" often.

And why am I not surprised to learn Mrs. Val is the kind of lady who doesn't take any crap?

Kate - it's in the office. There is no escape. I'm actually relieved that I smoke so that I can step outside and inhale toxic chemicals to remedy the stench.

Maybe I was obscure--I'm surrounded by neighbors who cook their Indian specialities at 7 a.m. and the horrid smell lasts all day.

Smoke, Oust, Febreze--that's about all you can do.

Heh. As I'm hitting "PgDn" on the keypad, I see two lines of ALL CAPS and say to myself, "Yup - Sheriff Val rides again; and Hell rides with him!"

Sorry to hear about the accident and the pointy-haired boss, Val. Don't make no profit for the Man!

Meetings WHERE OTHER PARTICIPANTS DON'T SHOW UP can FTFO.

Look, motherfuckers, my time is as valuable as yours. Don't fucking tell me you'll be there and then flake out on me.

Val, dude, I am SO glad your wife is getting out of there. She'll do MUCH better anywhere. She's good at her job, I know.

"buttpuck" is excellent. I may have to start using it myself. (The Bombay fart one made me laugh but as most of my co-workers tend more towards those horrid plasticy tv-dinner things (which seem to have no aroma, and so, I presume, no flavor), it doesn't really apply).

And my colleague can do whatever the reverse of fucking off is. When I explained the crappy situation he was doubtless going to be dragged into, he was (a) completely gracious about it and (b) gratifyingly irritated at the people who bitchslapped my helpful suggestion. So I feel a lot better now, thanks to my colleague.

"Yup - Sheriff Val rides again; and Hell rides with him!"

BWAHAHAHAHA!

And another vote for "buttpuck"!

Oh, and I had managed to forget this morning it but it has been brought back to mind by THS and the brilliant Kruella. Fuck off to retarded bimbos.

I'm not sure, Ken. When's the last time you came across an unconcious person? How do you know that the first thing YOU won't think is "I bet the Olsen twins will know exactly what to do." Don't be so judgemental, man.

I'm interrupting this week's FFO to tell you that my blog address is now http://www.itbindsthetuna.blogspot.com. Please change me on your blogrolls, if would be so kind. You may now continue your Fuck Offs. Thank you.

Done, Lisa. At least on our end.

Ah, so happy to know where the lovely Lisa is now.

FTFO to the fucking retards that I have to teach. I feel like I am pulling out my own fucking hair, just to get 1/10th of them to listen to what they have to do.

Methodists pushing for disinvestment in Israel, f***eth off.

Frankly, I can't find any Biblical passages that urge Christians to cut off commerce with anybody.