it comes in pints?

Cancer and chemo can, of course, fuck the hell off.

(Psssst, Val! There's a present for you at my place!)

I second the cancer FO.

Closer to my small part of the universe, squeaky wheels who can't take "No" for an answer, and run around answer shopping in the possibly vain hope of getting what they want in spite of the fact that EVERY SINGLE FUCKING PERSON IN THE FUCKING ORGANIZATION HAS FUCKING SAID "FUCK NO, FUCKWAD!" can fuck off and die in glorious living technicolor while wrapped in tinsel and playing a cheese dipped ukelele and sitting on a knob encrusted cruise missile.

That is all. For now.

get your head out of the gutter, Bingley

Now there's some innuendo for you. ;)

Fuck off to budgets -- the lack thereof. Fuck off to folks who keep telling you how important your products are, but then don't fund your projects at all. Fuck off for telling me, "It's so important. Keep it up," one month and then "Well, we just don't have the money" the next.

Especially when you have chores that specifically require a lot of bending over...

What with my bad back I always squat. :)

Now there's some innuendo for you.

I thought that was an Italian suppository.

Bob Casey can fuck off and die, alone and unmourned. The last pro-lifer in the Kleptocratic party, and he publicly endorses Barack "Pass the Scissors" Obama.

Jim McDouchebag can fuck off for making Washington look even more treasonous than the current crop of politicians really are.

Once again, the vulture-voiced vaginaclot at the next desk can fuck off, for making my job suck like an intern on crank. You hate your work, I hate having you sit there pretending to do it. Make us both happy and go back to your pasture.

And as always, CCFOAD.

Second the fuck off to sinus problems. I feel like taking a half-horsepower drill and getting rid of the clogs the old-fashioned way.

Ken,
No kidding! Aaaarrrrggghhh!

Here you go.

Joel wins.

I feel sorry for you, but man, you made me laugh. Great FO

That sucks, Emily. My sister was sidelined at Easter with the sinus stuff. Any yoga instructor I've ever had would advise you straight up real-l-ly slowly. Oof.

And yeah, CCFOAD. Everything that's getting on my last nerve this week can fuck off with rusty razor followed by a lemon juice bath. That includes you, Miss-I'm-a-Team-Player-Unless-Screwing-Everybody-up-Gives-Me-Extra-Time-to-Play. Is it 9 p.m. yet? I need a beer.

Gotta be 9 p.m. somewhere.

Hm? I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, I was busy drinking beer.

THE SAME FUCKTARDS THAT I FFO'ED LAST WEEK THAT HAVE HAD A WHOLE WEEK TO PICK UP THEIR FUCKING CRAP THAT IS IN THE STREETS OF LA LA LAND CAN FOAD WITH RUSTY RAZOR BLADES, DIPPED IN GLACIAL HCl (HYDROCHLORIC ACID) AND FOLLOWED OFF WITH A DOUCHE OF BOILING HOT COFFEE AND CRUSHED GLASS UP THEIR ASSES! THEY HAVE HAD OVER A WEEK TO CLEAN UP THE CRAP IN THE FRONT OF THEIR HOUSES. DON'T THEY KNOW THAT THE SHIT OUT THERE IS ACTUALLY MAKING THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD LOOK RUN DOWN AND CRAPPY. YOU MIGHT THINK THAT THOSE WHO ARE TRYING TO SELL THEIR HOUSES MIGHT WANT THE PLACE TO LOOK NICE FOR POTENTIAL BUYERS...NOTE: I STILL DON'T LIKE BEING A MOVING TARGET FOR THIS CITIES SHITTY DRIVERS...

Also, students that think that printing out pictures of Brittney Spears and Vanessa Hutchinson (sp?) naked instead of using the printer paper that is extremely rare in CA's schools now a days (FOAD to Gov. Arnold) for their projects, and using said precious research time to do such nonsense too.

It's 9:00 at 'Fly's place?

It will be at mine by 6.

It's 9 pm in my Happy Place, Kate.

Jim McDouchebag can fuck off for being Jim McDouchebag, Joel. But I'm just nitpicking, you are spot on about that flaming asshole.

People who don't get their children actual medical care because they prefer to believe that praying to Jesus/sacrificing a goat/clearing them with an e-meter/crossing your fingers and wishing really hard or whatever your superstition of choice is will cure them can fuck off.

That means you, Dale and Leilani Neumann. It's called fucking insulin, wake up and join the 21st century. Getting proper medical care for your kids is every bit as im-fucking-portant as providing food and shelter. Fuck off and die, you stupid, ignorant bastards.

I got the FOAD part, but what's the CC part?

Dad, can you help your son out?

CCFOAD = "cancer can fuck off and die."

It's become so regular around here, we just shortened it up.

That means you, Dale and Leilani Neumann. It's called fucking insulin, wake up and join the 21st century. Getting proper medical care for your kids is every bit as im-fucking-portant as providing food and shelter. Fuck off and die, you stupid, ignorant bastards.

I second that one. Barring intrinsically immoral methods, anyone who calls on God to heal but refuses to use the tools He's already provided is a hypocrite and a spiritual attention hound. "Waah! I don't want to survive medically. I wanna miracle! And I'll just sit here until I get one." Bah!

This is fairly petty, but:

the British/Scottish bad-tooth genes I inherited from my mom can FO.

Had my six-month checkup yesterday and although I always get a Gold Star for brushing and flossing daily and not eating sticky-sugary crap (and, more practically, I don't have to sit in the chair while the hygienist scrapes five pounds of tartar off my teeth), I still will need a crown on one of my back teeth because apparently it's gone rogue.

So, also: bad tooth, you can FO. Don't die, though, because dead teeth are more involved and painful to deal with.

A bit of set up: we raised $1200 in a penny drive from our employees. We adopted a local retirement home. They could buy anything they wanted for the residents with the $1200.

We were thinking "little necessities," I guess. But, when they said "A Nintendo Wii for the rehab center," we said "cool."

Well, the director of that center, who got pushier than fucking fuck, who needs to call twice a week to scream and yell for her Wii, that NOBODY can get locally, can take her shrill, entitled ass and fuck off. Use that little Wii Nunchuk controller while you're at it.

And finally demanding that we pay an exorbitant amount for that Wii to some scumfuck rental place who'd just gotten one? Those pieces of shite can fuck off, too.

Fuck that shit.

Seven Hundred God Damn Dollars??!?!?!?

Lady, if ya'd waited, ya coulda bought 3 or 4 Wii's. Shit, if I'd know we were gonna spend Seven Hundred, I'd have taken that money, and bought one off Ebay for 5, and kept the difference.

But no. You're so sure that we're gonna fuck you, apparently, that we have to do this. To. Day. And of course it involves screeching into the phone.

And my boss for bending over backwards? Yeah. Fuck that.

Eh, this shit's got me ill. Can't even see fucking straight because of that entitled piece of shit.

I reckon it's their money. But they can still turn it sideways and fuck off.

Incredibly loud construction right outside my window on a Saturday morning when I'm hungover can fuck off.

Construction on a Saturday morning? Isn't there something in the Constitution banning that?