The folks who steal the pen off my desk at night can fuck off. Though they may be telling me to fuck off, because I had a little stomach bug yesterday, and I chew on my pen throughout the day.

Bill - hahaha. We have people here that steal food out of the refrigerator a lot. Once, I had a bottle of water stolen. An open, used one. Good riddance, fucker. I nursed that puppy when I had a cold. Enjoy!

Once again, my goddamned sinuses can fuck the fuck off.

Ted OH NOES TEH FUTURE IS TEH CANNIBALS!!! Turner can FO.

As can everyone else who spends a tremendous amount of time telling us how we will all die terrible deaths unless we follow their specific prescriptions. And then that horrible fate they proposed never actually materializes....

Memo to Ted: Don't fall asleep in front of the TV when "Soylent Green" is on.

(....and before anyone does the Wayne and Garth "hooked in! hooked in!" gesture, it seems that, despite the April 1 interview date, Turner was actually SERIOUS.

Super-serious.)

What's the big deal, Ted? Won't cannibalism kind of help with the over-population problem? If you loathe the human race so much, why do you have a problem with us eating each other?

Emily, Ted may be worried because he's old and slow and would probably taste good in gravy on a waffle (kind of like squirrel).

Ugh, I can't believe I even said that. I don't even LIKE squirrel.

Ricki,
After that, hell, I don't even like waffles anymore.

Ann Althouse said it best: Ted Turner has become a deranged old man.

Ted Turner makes me laugh because he's so damned stupid. I cannot believe that he doesn't have to be reminded to inhale and exhale.

Blogger and Google can just fuck the fuck off.

Absolut vodka can fuck the fuck off.

Vodka should only come from Russia anyway.

Vodka should only come from Russia anyway.

Mine comes from Costco. Is that wrong?

Ken, not as long as there's some Cyrillic text somewhere on the bottle.

(California is a communist state, isn't it? That should count for something.)

Condescending know-it-alls who call people "sweetie," and in reality know next-to-nothing, can FTFO.

The people clogging up the street by my work last night holding up signs for pimped-Chelsea's mommy and asking me to honk my car horn in support can FTFO. I'm not gonna honk for you, and I'm not gonna honk for those poor stupid kids trying to pass time waiting for the school bus in the morning who are making the pull cord gesture. That's for trucks, children--cars don't have pull cords for their horns. I have to find out what school these kids are attending b/c there is some serious lack of education going on there.

Fast food cashiers who drop your change out the window then look at you and say "Oh, sorry" in that "I could care less that you have to contort your body into a pretzel to try and squeeze your hand through the two inches your car door will open to try and retrieve at least the $10 before the wind catches it, while the people behind you honk for you to move your sorry ass" tone can fuck off with extra napkins.

My iced coffee just cost me $20. And I thought $4 was bad.

Maggie, THAT SUCKS.

Idiot bosses who micromanage so much that the whole building notices when you are gone can FOAD. And in fact, don't come back either.

MM--I agree with CTG! Sucks! Those are the same people who don't give your drink to you and then can't figure out why you haven't driven off yet. Jeez.

My scratchy throat and sinuses that kept me awake practically all night can FOAD with cheezy rottenness. I am going on break next week, and I have been practically defending myself from the diseases that the children are passing, just to get something now is totally fucked up. I have things that I want to do that need my attention...

I totally hope that CTG's boss stays away for a long time...

ORGANIC CHEMISTRY. 'nuff said.

Arrgh. The insurer for the guy who rear-ended me three weeks ago can fuck off for getting me an *intermediate* rental. It's half the size and weight of my car. . . in case they forgot, I'm already nervous about getting hit.

On top of that the rental place is like, "Oh, if you want something bigger, you can pay a little extra." Oh, FUCK THAT. I'm not paying a dime for ANYTHING relating to getting my car fixed. I've already spent enough time and emotional energy trying to get this stupid thing resolved. And this car is drivable! (Borderline.) I'm sure part of it is that the guy who hit me has the same insurance company. Whatever. I should be treated BETTER in that case.

Narrow minded, self-centered, bad tempered, inflexible, uncooperative, and idiotic Regulation Charlies who live and die by regulations, rules, laws, and memorandums can fuck off and die while being ass plowed with a dump truck full of old law books.

Stupid jerk. I'm pissed off over that conversation, it happened two fucking days ago. Even ripping off a buttload of ammo on the range this morning didn't reduce my ire.

Y'all have a nice weekend!!!

Anyone notice that part of Absolut Mexico includes a roughly 100-mile strip of the Oregon Terriroty?

It's not like Swedes are experts on Western Hemisphere geography,anyway.

Scroll to the post right below that one to see what a Tuborg world looks like :-)

Spending my future rebate check on emergency surgery for my dog can FUCK OFF!

The flaming leftist fucktards over at [un]Democratic Underground who celebrated the death of Charleton Heston can fuck right off, preferably using Moses' gnarled, turn-into-a-snake staff. The man was not only a great actor, he was a tremendous human being, and not a single one of you little foaming-mouthed pieces of monkey shit is fit to carry his jock strap. Keep your filthy hatred off his memory, you damned dirty apes!