it comes in pints?

Too damned tired

I'm too tired to do it tonight, having arrived at work about 4:30 this morning and left about 9:00 tonight, but expect sometime tomorrow (workload permitting) an extended, obscene rant about one LLoyd Levine, a fucking Assemblyfuck from Van Fucking Nuys, CA, who thinks it would be just peachy to ban incandescent lightbulbs.

Once again, it proves the wisdom of my suggestion to hang one politician per voting district per year. Though, truth be told, I'm starting to lean toward drawing and quartering.

Blast from the past

Here's a weird blast from the past. Anybody out there remember "Porklips Now"?

The Death of a Statesman

Mark over at Blognor Regis has posted some amazing photographs from the 1965 funeral of Sir Winston Churchill. Go take a look for yourself.

Who knew?

Cap'n Ed notes that there actually may be some rational people in Quebec province.

A town in Quebec issued a declaration of "rules" for immigrants that instructed them to hit the road if they didn't want to assimilate into the mainstream culture of the province:

Don't stone women to death, burn them or circumcise them, immigrants wishing to live in the town of Herouxville in Quebec, Canada, have been told.

Naturally, some Muslims have branded it "shocking and insulting".

Montreal, on the other hand, is still solidly French Canadian [Thanks Dave]:

A Montreal police officer finds himself in hot water after writing a popular ditty called "That's Enough Already". The song tells immigrants to either adopt the culture of their new home or take the next flight to anywhere else. The police force will now question the officer about his "motives" for the lyrics.

And then comes the re-education camp.

Bax-TEAR Quote Generator

My goodness, whoever came up with this idea, a site based on my all-time favorite movie, is a bloody genius.

Factory Girl

I haven't seen the upcoming film about Edie Sedgwick yet, so there's a chance that it might be good, but I can't guess anything that could possibly be interesting about the story of a woman who was basically a slightly more disturbed 1960s version of Paris Hilton.

Little Miss Sunshine

Can someone who actually thought this movie was worth all of the ridiculous amount of hype and praise it received please explain to me what the flick I'm missing, because I thought it was crap*.

*I don't want to make an enormous fuss out of a minor detail, but it's absurd that they had the "vow of silence" dude decide that he was going to "join" the Air Force Academy. Um, you don't join the Air Force Academy. The application process is rigorous and much longer than what a regular university would require, you have to get an endorsement from a member of Congress or the Vice President, and only a small few are admitted. Hell, they actually have pre-candidate screening to determine if you are even qualified to apply. I'm only pointing this out because 1) my dad went to the Air Force Academy and has often told me in detail about the requirements and 2) the character seems to have a lot of emotion invested in his career plans. He takes a months-long friggin' vow of silence over the matter and goes apeshit when he finds out he can't be a pilot because he's color blind, for Jeebus' sake. A person going through the application process would be, at the very least, well aware of the likely reality that they wouldn't be selected to attend and, unless they were intensely stupid (and therefore, underqualified anyway), they certainly wouldn't have put all their eggs in one basket.

Talk about your eclectic radio

I wonder how many people here remember Air America. They used to be a radio network.

I guess they're still around, at least until last week.

Liberal AM radio fails to pay its own way in Santa Cruz
BY SHANNA MCCORD
SENTINEL STAFF WRITER

SANTA CRUZ — Al Franken, Randi Rhodes and Sam Seeder — articulate liberal pundits — don't sell well, even in Santa Cruz.

To borrow a line, if they can't make it there, I suspect they can't make it anywhere.

The trio are part of the nationally syndicated Air America, which was dropped from Santa Cruz radio station KOMY 1340 AM on Thursday and replaced with music from the 1950s, '60s and '70s.

The left-leaning radio network, aimed at taking on Rush Limbaugh and other conservative talk shows, debuted on Central Coast airwaves in July 2005, but local advertisers never bought in, station owner Michael Zwerling said.

"We didn't sell a single ad in a year and a half," Zwerling said Thursday. "I thought liberal radio would work as a viable advertising business in the most liberal town in America. I was wrong"

One should also recall that Air America is also the only radio network that (sometimes, at least) pays to be broadcast, rather than the radio stations paying them.

Santa Cruz isn't the only place Air America has problems. The network is struggling nationwide and filed for bankruptcy four months ago.

I hear that Al Franken is no longer with them. That might help.

Zwerling put Air America on the air as an alternative to the Limbaugh program, which plays on KOMY's sister station KSCO 1080 AM every morning.

Limbaugh is a major moneymaker for the station, Zwerling said, and his show pulls the highest ratings of any program on KSCO or KOMY.

However, in Santa Cruz, where the vast majority of registered voters are Democrats and voted for Sen. John Kerry in the 2004 presidential election, Zwerling wanted to give listeners a program that better plays to their political beliefs.

Sounds like a reasonable idea but I guess sometimes theory falters on reality.

Some Santa Cruzans loved Air America, Zwerling said.

But advertisers either didn't want to be associated with a station long known for a conservative stance ...

Didn't expect to see that phrase.

... or they simply didn't believe the show was a good place to spend their money, Zwerling said, speculating why ad sales never got off the ground despite decent ratings.

"Never got off the ground" sounds like a rather large understatement.

"It's an angry, nasty, pissing and moaning format where the only thing they say is 'Bush stinks' or 'Bush is bad'," he said. "No commercial advertiser wants to be associated with that"

Throw in their occasional death threat and one can sympathize with the advertisers.

Early on, Zwerling saw trouble with Air America.

Only a few months after putting it on the air, he toyed with canceling the program but held off to give advertisers a chance to warm up to the new network.

With ad sales continuing to be lackluster, ...

Man. The massive understatement continues apace.

...he announced to Air America executives in September that KOMY would no longer run their shows, and had planned to pull the plug Oct. 25.

KOMY hadn't come up with a replacement program by October and Air America stayed on until Thursday.

Three months of extra life. And still not a single ad sold. That's rough.

Anyway, we now skip to the end of the story to get to the "eclectic radio" part:

Earlier this month, Zwerling also dumped Michael Savage, a strident conservative talk show host based in San Francisco who says "liberalism is a mental disease".

The cost to purchase Savage's show became too expensive for the station, Zwerling said.

Um, that's "strident" in the sense of "fucking cretinous jerk" for those of you not familiar with that particular "personality".

But I do find it interesting that the same station would have drooling idiots from both the left and the right. I wonder if Tim Blair owns some shares.

Quote of the week

Only Monday and Nightfly has already taken a solid lead.

This is just a huge case of Mad at Daddy looking for an outlet. They ought to be jailed; failing that, they ought to be paddled and sat in the corner without their Wii-Boxes, or whatever the hell they wasted fifty hours on line for.

Your tax dollars at work

Jesus. Via Instapundit.

Anti-war protesters were allowed to spray paint on part of the west front steps of the United States Capitol building after police were ordered to break their security line by their leadership, two sources told The Hill.

Allowed? Allowed? If this is accurate, it is outrageous that pissant vandals were allowed to deface government property.

"While there were minor instances of spray painting of pavement by a splinter group of Anarchists who were seeking a confrontation with the police, their attempts to breach into secure areas and rush the doors of the Capitol were thwarted," Morse said.

"Seeking a confrontation." Well, give them what they want. That's why God invented nightsticks.

He added, "It is the USCP's duty and responsibility to protect the Capitol complex, staff and public while allowing the public to exercise their First Amendment rights … at the end of the day, both occurred without injury to protestors or officers."

Without injury to the vandals protestors, more's the pity. I won't claim to be a Constitutional scholar but I'm reasonably certain that vandalism is not a First Amendment right.

So the ChiComs are caving too

Apparently, they are downplaying the year of the PIG for fear of offending Muslims.

One should point out that not only do Muslims have problems with PIGS, but they also have problems with DOGS, which will, obviously, have to be censored next time that year comes around.

I think they may also have issues with MONKEYS. I don't know how they feel about the rest of the Chinese zodiac but I'm sure someone will come up with something to bitch about.

For some reason, I have a special urge to link to this. Take that, Porkyphobes.

Top 10 CDs of 2006

Eh, not my list. I haven't listened to anything new in years. But the Uzzmeister has. Go there and be enlightened. Or perhaps enraged. Or perhaps, like me, just plain confused.

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

It's not that there's no one specifically that I'd like to fuck off this week, it's just that I find there are times in life when it's best to keep your yap shut. So I will. But that doesn't mean you have to. Take it away.

Sharon tells a story

A priceless story.

Lucky Bastard

May the Bird of Paradise fly up his nose. And up the nose of his descendants. Yea, unto the seventh generation.

I would also call down the wrath of Xenu but I think he's hung over.

Damn

We missed it completely (via Lisa and CTG)

Incredible, Mate!

Never underestimate the earth-shattering power of moonbats.

Here is a Google satellite photo taken earlier:

Here is the new one from Australia Day, 2007:

A Poor Slogan

My friend Julie (who has some extremely good information in this post - read it, please) sent along an amusing one liner I hadn't heard before, enshrined in slightly different wording in this shirt:

Smith & Wesson: the original point and click interface

I chuckled at it, then it occurred to me that should one be in dire need of using said Smith & Wesson, "click" is the last thing one would want to hear. I wonder if it was written by a Colt employee.

Addicts

Okay, this is not my particular favorite of all the genres of current TV but the Sainted Bride and Daughter Number Two like it. So 8:00 comes around and the show comes on. I get on the computrifyer for a little before crashing for the evening. Barely five minutes into it, phone rings. SB says "It's [DNT] calling to say Simon sucks." It was.

Thence followed several minutes discussion of Simon's suckage.

Now, as stated, I don't watch these shows but I do catch an occasional glimpse while walking into, out of, or through the room or perhaps while changing channels. So this observation may be well off the mark, but there does appear to the untrained, and perhaps inattentive, eye to be a particular mix of cast on these shows:

Large, Affable Fellow
Drunk Chick
Prissy English Snot

At least, that's the impression I get from the few minutes of "American Idol" I've seen and about 45 seconds total of that one about "Grease". Is this the new trend in "reality tv"? And just out of curiosity, for anyone who may have seen the original British version ("Pop Idol" I think it was called?), did they have a "prissy American snot"? That would have been so appropriate.

Quote of the week

From our gal Laura:

I don't get why he keeps insisting that people NOT pray. Whatever your level of belief or non-belief, how could praying POSSIBLY hurt?

I don't think atheists do that. I think theists who are mad at God do that.

And very shaky in their beliefs.

The State of the Union Address...

...and just about the only thing that makes it bearable.

Pop Quiz

Who is the following sentence referring to?

“Like Christ, he’s been criticised for his views. But future generations will realise he was right.”

a) Nelson Mandela
b) Kim Jong-il
c) Osama bin Laden
d) George W. Bush
e) Tom Cruise

Answer: E, apparently, though I'm usually skeptical about quotes coming from "a source close to the actor."

The Oscars and Will Ferrell's Underwear

I can't remember who recommended Talladega Nights as funny*, but as soon as I do, I'm going to kick your ass.

*with the exception of a few moments of brilliance, mostly belonging to Sacha Baron Cohen and a dazed, post-crash Will Ferrell wearing nothing but his underwear and a racing helmet while running around and screaming "save me, Tom Cruise!"

(Yeah, I know the Oscars nominations were just full of the usual not-surprises this year, weren't they? I'd still rather watch Will Ferrell in his jimmies than most of the movies nominated).

Giggle

Heh

Prayers and good wishes needed

For Mary Claire (via Joel).

Note to skeptics: Don't be a dick. God knows I'm as skeptical and capable of mocking religion as anyone, but there's a time and place and this is not it.

Yow

Some pretty cool "bullets going through various objects" videos from Say No to Crack.

Demotivational Poster

I haven't done one for a while, no motivation (har!), but my friend Julie sent one along by email and I thought I would steal it. I'll be happy to credit the original composer should s/he happen by.

In fact, it is not strictly a "de"motivational poster so much as a "rock on!" encouragement to our protectors in Marine Green:

WTF?

From the [formerly] great state of Arizona, by way of SayUncle and Traction Control:

An individual or group of individuals commits domestic terrorism if the individual or group of individuals are not affiliated with a local, state or federal law enforcement entity and associate with another individual or group of individuals as an organization, group, corporation or company for the purpose of patrolling to detect alleged illegal activity or to individually patrol for the purpose of detecting alleged illegal activity and if the individual or group of individuals is armed with a firearm or other weapon.

It appears to be specifically directed against the Minutemen but it obviously could be used against any Neighborhood Watch program, or even against any individual who "patrols" to report a crime while armed (with any kind of "other weapon", apparently).

"Protest"?

I should think that a "protest" about something over which no one has any control is better termed a "tantrum".

I needed a laugh

And Andrea provided a good one. I'm especially fond of this one.

Bummer

Denny Doherty (Via Joel)

I [heart] La Shawn Barber

Rant on, La Shawn!

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

-The asshole too busy yapping on their cell phone to notice there was a FUCKING PERSON in front of their car and therefore nearly ran me over.

-Really long voice mail messages with elaborate instructions that explain to you "when you are finished speaking, hang up." Thanks. I might have sat for the rest of the day clutching the phone to my face if you hadn't made that clear.

-Work related shitheads I can't mention by name, title, department or occupation for obvious reasons.

-Rupert Everett for saying "it's just like every other religion." NO. IT. ISN'T.

-Stress headaches.

All of 'em can fuck off.

Happy Friday.

Aw, Man

Columnist Art Buchwald dies at age 81

History's Greatest Monster

It was just a joke line on "The Simpsons", but it's not so funny anymore. There's his new book, there's the Saudi funding, and then there's this:

A former U.S. Justice Department official disclosed to Arutz-7 that former U.S. President Jimmy Carter’s advocacy extended beyond the Palestinians, when he interceded on behalf of a Nazi SS man.

Neil Sher, a veteran of the U.S. Justice Department’s Office of Special Investigation, described a letter he received from Carter in 1987 in an interview with Israel National Radio’s Tovia Singer. The letter, written and signed by Carter, asked that Sher show “special consideration” for a man proven to have murdered Jews in the Mauthausen death camp in Austria.

"History's Greatest Monster" may still be a joke, but he is without doubt America's worst ex-President.

Does this bother you too?

Is anyone else bothered by this as much as I am?

But bad news for MA Gov. Mitt Romney: Mormonism is only slightly more popular than Islam, and GOPers are 10 points more likely to view Romney’s religion unfavorably than Dems. Looks like he has his work cut out for him.

I have nothing in particular* against Mormons, I don't know why Republicans would (other than GROSSLY outdated views of that particular CHRISTIAN sect), and as I said in a comment at Bitter's post:

I am hard-pressed to remember the last time anyone hijacked an airliner, beheaded an infidel, shot up a grammar school, or set off a bomb in the name of Moroni.

And I stand by it.

As far as I know, the entire beef against Mormons is over polygamy, and the last time I checked, (a) Mormons don't do it any more, and (b) Muslims, at least those of a particularly virulent bent, do. And murder schoolchildren besides.

*Okay, there's that door-to-door thing but Jehovah's Witlesses are much more annoying on that score.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Bingley!

Our boy is growing up. In honor of this noble occasion, I give you a snapshot of another noble occasion, when I had the privilege of getting sauced with the Bingster, among others, in New York.

To many more!

Breaking News

For those of you interested, Mark Steyn will be on KSFO in the 7:00 hour PST (repeated four hours later on the internet feed). You can get an internet feed here.

Stifling of Dissent

When your arguments are bankrupt, what do you do? Decertify the opposition (heard on the radio, found via Slashdot).

Weather Channel Climate Expert Calls for Decertifying Global Warming Skeptics

January 17, 2007
Posted by Marc Morano 202-224-5762 marc_morano@epw.senate.gov (8:50pm ET)

The Weather Channel's most prominent climatologist is advocating that broadcast meteorologists be stripped of their scientific certification if they express skepticism about predictions of manmade catastrophic global warming. This latest call to silence skeptics follows a year (2006) in which skeptics were compared to "Holocaust Deniers" and Nuremberg-style war crimes trials were advocated by several climate alarmists

The Weather Channel's (TWC) Heidi Cullen, who hosts the weekly global warming program "The Climate Code,"...

There's a Global Warming Show?

...is advocating that the American Meteorological Society (AMS) revoke their "Seal of Approval" for any television weatherman who expresses skepticism that human activity is creating a climate catastrophe.

"If a meteorologist can't speak to the fundamental science of climate change, then maybe the AMS shouldn't give them a Seal of Approval. Clearly, the AMS doesn't agree that global warming can be blamed on cyclical weather patterns," Cullen wrote in her December 21 weblog on the Weather Channel Website. [Note: It is also worth taking a look at the comments section at the bottom of Cullen's blog, very entertaining.] See: http://climate.weather.com/blog/9_11396.html

Emphasis in original, and please do see the comments section there

Cullen's call for decertification of TV weatherman who do not agree with her global warming assessment follows a year (2006) in which the media, Hollywood and environmentalists tried their hardest to demonize scientific skeptics of manmade global warming. Scott Pelley, CBS News 60 Minutes correspondent, compared skeptics of global warming to "Holocaust deniers" and former Vice President turned foreign lobbyist Al Gore has repeatedly referred to skeptics as "global warming deniers." See: http://epw.senate.gov/public/index.cfm?FuseAction=PressRoom.Facts&ContentRecord_id=A4017645-DE27-43D7-8C37-8FF923FD73F8 & http://epw.senate.gov/public/index.cfm?FuseAction=PressRoom.PressReleases&ContentRecord_id=E58DFF04-5A65-42A4-9F82-87381DE894CD

Cullen Featured Advocate of Nuremberg-Style Trials for Climate Skeptics

In addition, Cullen's December 17, 2006 episode of "The Climate Code" TV show, featured a columnist who openly called for Nuremberg-style Trials for climate skeptics. Cullen featured Grist Magazine's Dave Roberts as an eco-expert opining on energy issues, with no mention of his public call to institute what amounts to the death penalty for scientists who express skepticism about global warming. See: http://epw.senate.gov/fact.cfm?party=rep&id=264568

I'll make a proposal on this "Nuremberg Trials" thing. If all the Global Warm-ongers get their way and it turns out that climate change really is just cyclical and we are plunged into a new ice age and people freeze to death all over the world, I suggest we have "Nuremberg Trials" for the people who "caused" the ice age.

Just a thought.

Please do read the whole thing.

Because she asked nicely

[UPDATE: Sebastian at Snowflakes in Hell is a much nicer person than I am]

Well actually, she didn't ask so much just say she didn't have time. I don't have time to do much of a fisking but I can do a little:

Where's the outrage about gun violence?

I don't know. Have you checked the editorial pages of the major urban newspapers? Or the new Mayors' Crusade? Anything the comes out of Michael Bloomberg's mouth?

Any fool can kill a deer. I know, because I've almost done it several times.

And yet you still didn't succeed. What does that make you?

All that's required is a car driven at a relatively good speed, 30 miles an hour should do it, near a wooded area around dusk or later.

Voila, venison a la Camry.

And a dead Camry. And once you have removed all the destroyed meat, you have... well, maybe a little bit of hamburger. That's not an effective way to fill the pot.

As for pen-raised fowl, released on exclusive preserves for desk-bound potentates, that doesn't require much skill, either, ...

I'm always impressed with the (self-perceived) shooting abilities of non-shooters. In their world, it takes no great skill to be a successful wingshot, deer hunters are 100% successful even with just a car, cops can shoot guns out of the hands of criminals...

...simply money and will, though it's preferable not to spray deep-pocketed supporters with birdshot.

Was Harry Whittington a "deep-pockets supporter" of Dick Cheney, or is this just a lying cheap shot? I thought he was just a friend. Help me out here, anybody remember?

The less "a well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State" rings true in contemporary America,...

Who says it rings less true? Besides the author and the Brady Bunch, I mean. For many of us it still rings true, perhaps even more so since 2001.

… the more the gun culture revs up its high-caliber lobbying and propaganda machine.

"Lobbying and propaganda" Sounds much like what the Brady Bunch does. And when you get right down to it, isn't an opinion piece "propaganda"? But I suspect that Ms. Heller only considers something propaganda if she disagrees.

We've made smokers pariah, forcing them out to the street.

Yet, even in the most anti-smoking jurisdictions, it is legal to carry concealed cigarettes as long as you don't fire one up illegally. I could go for gun laws like that - legal to carry one concealed as long as you don't fire it off illegally.

Alcoholism and drug abuse, once private demons, have become public crusades.

Hmm. I seem to recall that these have been public crusades for some time now. In fact, they were so successful that a Constitutional amendment was passed regarding alcohol. I wonder how that turned out. And how is that whole War on Drugs thing going lately?

Abolishing trans fats is a civic battle legislated by urban councils.

It is? I know about New York and San Francisco. Is Philadelphia that stupid, too?

Guns, however, reign supreme. Criticize the need for guns, the obsession with guns, and you're labeled unpatriotic, anti-Constitution or - horrors - a liberal.

Mostly in your own imagination. It must be pointed out, though, that violating Constitutionally-guaranteed rights might reasonably be called "anti-Constitution", and that hatred and fear of guns has for some time been associated primarily with modern liberalism. But I promise not to question your patriotism.

Any politician running for higher office has to kiss the long barrel of the NRA and gun fetishists, preferably by praising gun ownership and going hunting - a dwindling passion - to show how authentically American he is.

Yeah, politicians kiss lots of things. Usually on both sides of every issue. And I think the term "fetishists" is just a wee mite teeny tad out of line when referring to shooters and other hobbyists you dumb fucking bitch.

"This is trying to perpetuate the myth of Teddy Roosevelt and the Rough Riders,...

Um, again, please help me out here since my history classes were some time ago, but I'm pretty sure Teddy Roosevelt and the Rough Riders were not mythical.

...the legacy of Buffalo Bill," says Joan Burbick, author of "Gun Show Nation: Gun Culture and American Democracy." "Tying gun rights to civil rights, transforming Americans into an armed citizenry, coincided with the civil rights riots."

No disrespect intended, but Ms. Burbick sounds pretty damned ignorant. Gun rights were tied to civil rights in 1791. Oops. Make that 1787. Or 1776. Or even earlier. Or maybe even 1689.

As for "transforming Americans into an armed citizenry", it would be the Militia Act of 1792, among others, that accomplished that (not that it actually took an act of Congress, since most citizens were already armed, including free blacks).

But it is true that the modern "activist" role for the NRA and allies seems to coincide with the 60s civil rights era, but not in the way she thinks.

Race, she argues, has plenty to do with it.

In fact, it does in way.

See, the history of gun regulations in this country is a history of oppression and fear of minorities and foreigners. It started with disarming blacks in the antebellum South. It continued with disarming blacks in the postwar South.

You see, disarmed blacks can't fight back. That's the way racists like it.

It is instructive to read the infamous Dred Scott decision, in which we find (the entire paragraph is at the end of the post):

More especially, it cannot be believed that the large slaveholding States regarded [blacks] as included in the word citizens ..., For if they were so received ... [i]t would give to persons of the negro race ... the right to enter every other State whenever they pleased, ... to sojourn there as long as they pleased, to go where they pleased at every hour of the day or night ... and it would give them the full liberty of speech in public and in private upon all subjects upon which its own citizens might speak; to hold public meetings upon political affairs, and to keep and carry arms wherever they went.

(Emphasis added) That sounds like a pretty solid statement that gun ownership is an inherent right of citizenship, so much so that the Court declared that, therefore, blacks must not be citizens.

And it isn't just blacks that scared people. The large influx of foreigners in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, foreigners not from lily-white northern European countries but Eastern Europeans, Southern Europeans, Chinese, Japanese, Jews, and worst of all, Catholics (think I'm kidding about Catholics? I'm not), led to many new gun laws including New York's Sullivan Law. For the most part, these laws did not, by their language, specifically exclude certain groups from owning arms. Instead, guns were allowed to persons of "good character" as determined by, and at the discretion of, local [white, Protestant] officials. I think it's pretty easy to figure out the intent and effect.

Of course, nowadays, the "good character" applies, in New York at least, to only the rich and politically well-connected. The plebes are largely disarmed.

Fast forward to the 50s and 60s, the time of Civil Rights strife. Aside from the federal laws of 1934 and 1938 regarding machine guns and a few other items in response to the crime wave associated with Prohibition, there was no major push for federal gun controls until the 60s. Then came "uppity negroes", white fears, and race riots. I can't prove it but I don't think it's coincidence that the push for gun controls occurred in the wake of the Watts riots and others.

And gun owners fought back against those laws and the NRA became active on the pro-gun political front. So yes, there seems to be an association, but if it's a causal association, Ms. Heller has cause and effect reversed.

As we head into the new year, let's hold on to the one number that trumps all others: 406.

That's how many people were murdered in Philadelphia last year. And here's where generalizations hold up. Most of the victims were young. Most of them were poor. Most of them were black. Most of them were killed with guns.

And it's a pretty damned good bet that most were gang members, and were killed by other gang members.

Our problems are bigger than guns. But guns are our problem.

Huh?

Armed Americans have more guns than they could possibly need.

Actually, that is a physical and theoretical impossibility.

Guns, as Burbick points out, "are durable goods that don't tend to wear out."

Yeah, ain't it great? I wish I had the time and money to wear one out.

So the gun industry keeps producing more terrorizing models...

Really? Most new models I read about are sporting arms. Any examples you could provide?

... that satisfy macho fantasies,...

Okay, show of hands now, how many of you chicks out there have macho fantasies?

...outsized security fears,...

"Outsized" security fears? After you just complained about high murder rates? How high does the number have to be before security fears are not "outsized"?

...and haven't a thing to do with hunting quail. As if anyone cares about quail.

Where the hell did that last one come from? And what do you have against quail? They make great appetizers. And many of those new models have much to do with hunting quail. Which make great appetizers.

The myth of the fighter permeates throughout consumerism, Gap Kids fatigues in blue and pink.

Karen Heller: Queen of the Non-sequittor and Broken Segue. Do you have no editor, lady?

Help me out again, people, especially those of you with younger children. Does the Gap sell "fatigues" in blue and pink? That strikes me as a rather bizarre statement.

Second Amendment militiamen tirelessly argue that guns don't kill people, people do.

Corny but true.

But guns kill people far more efficiently than people without them do.

And guns protect people far more efficiently than people can protect themselves without them. See Zendo Deb for a few million examples.

Guns allow disturbed people to shoot up Amish schools. And thugs to shoot children in front of city schools. And distraught kids to terrorize suburban schools.

And there is not a law in the world that keeps guns out of the hands of these people. Not in Great Britain. Not in Australia. Not in Washington, D.C.

And it is the fact that the victims are unarmed that allows those shootings to be as bad as they are. That's the main reason they never seem to happen at, say, gun shows.

Why aren't local governments as obsessed with guns and crime as they are with partially hydrogenated oils?

Obsessed? A whole shitload of mayors signed on to Bloomberg's outrageous and criminal extortion campaign (one dropped out recently, but I don't think he's obsessing about trans-fats either). How much more obsessed do you want?

Why aren't the pious as worried about violence as they are about gay marriage? Where is the PETA for people being senselessly killed?

Actually, PETA seems at times to be in favor of more people being killed.

Where are the celebrities clamoring for assistance to make this country a safer place?

Too busy ranting about Bush, I guess.

We need a crusade for peace at home, too.

Christ, now she's channeling Dennis Kucinich.

We need to attack guns and the all-too-powerful lobbyists and manufacturers the way cigarettes came under siege.

Attack inanimate objects? Is this what the left has come to?

Oh wait. Yes it is.

In the modern world, among "civilized democracies," America is a repository of shame when it comes to gun violence.

Yeah, well, that particular myth isn't looking so good these days.

We're modeling ourselves on antiquated ideals, holding on to values that are firing us back to the Wild West.

Well, the Wild West was nowhere near as wild as the movies make it out to be but that's a different rant.

In actuality, we're trying to hold on to values from even earlier, not least of which is a citizenry armed for the defense of itself and the country. Somehow, I suspect the value of personal responsibility is not high on Ms. Heller's list.

Four hundred and six is a hideous number no one in this region should forget.

How exactly did Philadelphia's murder rate become a "regional" issue? Most of that "region" probably has much lower murder rates than Philadelphia itself. It probably also has higher rates of gun ownership than Philadelphia itself. That's a rather common pattern - cities have fewer guns in the hands of its productive citizens and higher murder rates. I wonder why?

And then, just to reinforce the horror of it all, a minute - only one minute - into the new year, the death tally started anew.

Yeah, well you're not alone. But that's not happening as much in the places that allow their citizens to defend themselves.

Here is the entire paragraph from the Dred Scott decision if you are interested. I did not Dowdify it:

More especially, it cannot be believed that the large slaveholding States regarded them as included in the word citizens, or would have consented to a Constitution which might compel them to receive them in that character from another State. For if they were so received, and entitled to the privileges and immunities of citizens, it would exempt them from the operation of the special laws and from the police regulations which they considered to be necessary for their own safety. It would give to persons of the negro race, who were recognised as citizens in any one State of the Union, the right to enter every other State whenever they pleased, singly or in companies, without pass or passport, and without obstruction, to sojourn there as long as they pleased, to go where they pleased at every hour of the day or night without molestation, unless they committed some violation of law for which a white man would be punished; and it would give them the full liberty of speech in public and in private upon all subjects upon which its own citizens might speak; to hold public meetings upon political affairs, and to keep and carry arms wherever they went. And all of this would be done in the face of the subject race of the same color, both free and slaves, and inevitably producing discontent and insubordination among them, and endangering the peace and safety of the State.

Good for Paul Sorvino

Jeff has the details on how he protected his daughter from a threatening ex-boyfriend.

As the first commenter ("Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner" - *snort*) points out, it is rather significant that she "called both police and her father. Her 67-year-old father showed up before police."

Go figure.

For Val

With good wishes.

This is what happens when you mix fatigue with beer. Good thing he quit the cigars.

Did Hell freeze over?

Damn. I know it's been cold recently. Freezing temperatures may have destroyed as much as 75% of the citrus crop and a lot of folks have had their yards and gardens damaged.

But I never expected this.

A moment of silence please

For the Patron Saint of College Students

When I got to work this morning, I found a newspaper clipping taped to the snack cabinet in the lunch room. All of you who are or ever were poor starving students, please bow your heads in silence for the passing of someone very important to you.

Momofuku Ando, Japanese inventor of instant noodles, dies at 96

TOKYO (AP) — Momofuku Ando, the Japanese inventor of instant noodles, has died, according to Nissin Food Products Co., the company he founded. He was 96.

[...]

Faced with food shortages in post World War II Japan, Ando developed the idea that a quality, convenient noodle product would help feed the masses. He founded Nissin in 1948.

In 1958, "Chicken Ramen," the first instant noodle product, was introduced after many trials. Following its success, the company continued to add innovative products, including "Cup Noodle" in 1971.

Yes, I remember them well. Well, that and mac and cheese.

More good news

Castro reportedly in 'grave' condition

So let's put him in the grave and be done with it.

Well good

Keep working the way down the list.

Saddam half brother, ex-official hanged
By QASSIM ABDUL-ZAHRA, Associated Press Writer
2 hours, 23 minutes ago

BAGHDAD, Iraq - Saddam Hussein's half brother and the former head of Iraq's Revolutionary Court were hanged before dawn Monday, two weeks and two days after the former Iraqi dictator was executed in a chaotic scene that has drawn worldwide criticism.

Now if they would just start applying the method to the illegal combatants currently housed still breathing, the world would be a better place.

Chuckle for a Friday evening

Here. It reminds me of a story...

A lawyer, a doctor, and an architect were discussing their respective professions and disagreeing about which was oldest.

The doctor said, "Well, it says right there in Genesis that God removed a rib from Adam and created Eve. That is obviously a surgical procedure, so the medical profession dates back to the Garden of Eden."

The architect replied, "Yes but even before that, God created Heaven and Earth from chaos. Obviously, that is an architectural feat so my profession dates back to before the Garden of Eden."

To which the lawyer replied, "Ah, but who do you think created chaos?"

Four score and seven days ago...

(well, not quite but close enough for gummint work), Joel tagged me with a meme about Spam Zen. He was kind enough not to mention my slackardliness in his latest installment and for that I thank him.

Problem is, I just don't have Joel's flair for Zen. In fact, even after having lived in Santa Cruz for years, I don't do Zen very well ("What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "What are you, an idiot?"). But at the very least, I can take Mr. Bingley's spam name game and meld it with Joel's use of the subject lines to make a bastardization I will call, for lack of a better word, "Steve".

But first, some late-breaking news:

Non prime lenders fell to their death.

Pushed, no doubt. The only question is by whom? Were they usurers? Or were they undercutting the competition?

Well, until we get further information about the Defenestration of Wall Street, let's clear up some old business. Really old business. A lost telegram that somehow finally resurfaced on the web:

congratulate midway

Well, the battle was 65 years ago but the good guys won and congratulations are definitely in order even if late.

With old and new business taken care of, let's move on to the spam spam spam spam [slap] Since this is supposed to be a post about Spam Zen, how about some spam about spam? Meta-spam, as it were:

Spam busy

Yeah, tell me about it.

hypothetically plethora

No hypothetically about it. There's a REAL plethora of spam and spammers out there.

Spam game

It is most certainly not a game. It's a big fat pain in the ass.

Spam capitol

That would probably be Russia. Of course, the Russians know how to deal with spammers.

But enough meta-talk about meta-spam. What's the most common category of spam? Probably the medical stuff. Between offers to make your winkie bigger or merely harder and the never-ending offers of bold new pharmaceuticals ("Grow hair where you never had it before!") come some gems:

medicated frothy

Well, they make bubble gum flavored medicine for children, why not coffee flavored medicine for adults? "I'll have a half-caf mocha latte capu-Valium, please".

cyst surfing

Um, okay. I picture some demented med-tech channel surfing through some odd CAT scans.

Enough of that. It has been said that the two things you should never talk about in polite company are politics and religion. Since I've never been know to be overly polite, I'll go ahead and do so.

oratory headgear

Mandatory safety equipment for listening to politicians.

earphones soggy

Well, that's what happens when you wear the oratory headgear too long. Live and learn, or at least turn off C-SPAN.

concussion abate

Eventually yes, and the damage is usually only temporary but why take the chance? Change the channel.

I think the hamster in her head almost broke its treadmill.

Don't drag Barbera Boxer into this. It's time to move on to religious spam:

FW: hath so Esau ride upon Moab from him also know thee: to name of

Probably a quote by one of the odder street preachers in Santa Cruz. I think it's from the Paul's Epistle to the Hippies.

denomination dress code

Do any denominations have them? I know the Amish and some of the pentecostals tend to have particular fashions, and the Mormons, I've heard, have some unusual undies, but do they actually have dress codes? I'm pretty sure the Catholics limit their dress codes to the schools and nuns. And tweaking, I mean, speaking of Catholics:

typing saint

Sometimes I could use one. I'm sure there's gotta be one, the Catholics seem to have a saint for everything (unless my typing just falls into St. Jude's area).

rhetorical guardian angel

See? They even have a patron saint of rhetoric. There is, however, one thing at least for which there is no patron saint:

fruitful gamble

That's what we non-Catholics call the rhythm method. But from what I've read, even the Catholics aren't helping in Europe:

birthrate signpost

And that signpost says "Declining". But really, it's not like I want to pick on Catholics exclusively. I'm an equal opportunity offender (except the Druids, they get off easy today, but today only):

Re: pigmen

Take that, Islamonuts! Pig pig pig! Pigs above and pigs below and pigs down in the galley.

And don't think I won't pick on you various flavors of Protestant:

wholesale savior

Must be a TV evangelist.

send-off promiscuous

Oh yeah, definitely a TV evangelist.

But irrespective of denomination, you have to beware of:

mortuary overcompensation

Just pay close attention to the fine print and you'll be okay, which is good because after the mortuary, there's only

harmless ashes

And harmless dust to harmless dust, as it says in the Book of Harmless Prayer, amen.

But enough about religion and politics. Let's move on to sports and entertainment. In the category of baseball, there's some discussion about who might be a

blue jay soon

We don't know yet but probably someone will. But it's the off-season so let's move on to other sports:

diving board jet-propelled

Sounds like a new Olympics category. And what does the third-place competitor get?

bronze medal tuft

I'm sure his mother will be proud. Loser. Anyway, in the outdoorsman's category comes

pasta bait

for those guys fishing in Italy.

And for the more nerdy couch potatoes among us we have some spam apparently about the Game Show Network:

botany respectively

A not uncommon "Jeopardy!" category. Also from "Jeopardy!" comes the dreaded

nutmeg category

But all game shows are not "Jeopardy!", sad as that fact is:

survey ignore

Richard Dawson's worst nightmare.

Grab as many beers as possible in the bonus round to rack up extra points.

Now that's my kind of game show, but I suspect that:

party favor good old boy

will be the Ken Jennings of that particular game

Of course, TV is not all game shows, sad as that thought may be. Remember those old cartoons?

indomitable robot

I think he means "Gigantor", from the Golden Age of Bad Japanese Animation. Still, with all due respect to Hanna and Barbera, if you want the good cartoons, you need Warner Brothers.

calico roadrunner

I always liked the Roadrunner, even when he wasn't wearing calico. Of course, it's also possible I simply misunderstood this one, perhaps it referred to a place.

And finally, a sop to the cooking channel. I know some of you have issues with certain personalities therein. Personally, I happen to like a little cheesecake with my cooking, but I do agree that this goes WAY too far:

buttock curry powder

Eww. Just eww.

This wraps up our sesquicentennial edition of "Steve". Please join us again. Same Bat Time, same Bat Channel.

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

This morning, every newspaper in Los Angeles had the David Beckham story as their major headline.

WE GOT BECKS!

Honestly, I don't have anything against the guy (at least unless he joins that happy fun cult), but isn't there like a war going on or something? Floods? Famine? Political corruption? Police scandals? I know that it really is news that there is finally going to be somebody playing for an American soccer team that anyone has actually heard of, but front page headlines with exclamation points is taking it a little too far.

Do I even have to say the words?

Take it away.

Jeez

[Shakes head] I think she's been using the Thighmaster incorrectly.

Cry Foul, Ghost of McCarthy

"Blacklist" is a pretty harsh word in this case. It's not like Peter Jackson's never going to find work again, no matter how much King Kong sucked.

An escalation in the war of words between New Line co-chairman Bob Shaye and "Lord of the Rings" filmmaker Peter Jackson appears to be nixing any possible reconciliation between the two -- or any chance that Jackson will direct the trilogy's prequel, "The Hobbit."

In an interview with the Sci Fi Channel news service Sci Fi Wire, Shaye said Jackson will never make another movie for the studio and said the filmmaker just wants more money.

"I don't care about Peter Jackson anymore," Shaye said. "He wants to have another $100 million or $50 million, whatever he's suing us for. He doesn't want to sit down and talk about it. He thinks that we owe him something after we've paid him over a quarter of a billion dollars. ... Cheers, Peter."

I have to admit, I kind of enjoy watching the hyper-geeks go apeshit over this, as if Jackson was the only human being alive that could possibly be capable of making a good movie out of The Hobbit.

Hard cases make bad law

Foolishly tragic cases make worse law.

Note to Dave: See what happens when you go slacking? I start doing the law blogging. Is this what you want?

Now it's called "soccer"

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Beckham,
Don't come here. We're full. No, wait. We're not full. Everybody here has herpes. Like the airborne kind that your kids can catch. We also have earthquakes, brush fires and people get eaten by sharks almost every day, sometimes in their living rooms. Don't even get me started on the crime, the smog and the potential for tsunamis, landslides, tornadoes, hurricanes, plagues of locusts, El Nino, bad drivers and perhaps the most fearfully dangerous of all, Tom Cruise. Don't let the brochures and pictures of smiling, healthy-looking people on sun drenched beaches fool you. Los Angeles is a far cry from paradise, especially so for the rich and famous.

Um, that is, unless you guys are coming here to give a go to that dreadful thetan movie thing. The so-bad-it's-good potential for that one is too fantastic to let pass. In which case, welcome. I just made up all that shit I wrote before.

Cheers.

"you mean like, 'stupid-stupid' or 'cool-stupid'?

HAHAHAHA! Via RightWingProf

End Game

Another Motivational Poster, inspired by THS, Emily, and the fine folks pinheads in New York.

Jesus

Just freakin' jesus.

When it rains, it fucking pours.

Start Your Engines

Is anyone else concerned that prominent members of Congress are treating the passage of major legislation as a race?

Good for Colorado

Their governor shows up the hypocrisy of the animal rights idiots.

Puppy Blogging

I should have done this before but better late than never.

Oh. My. God.

This made me cry, partly because it's so beautiful, partly from sadness for the child. Via Bitter.

I was going to add it to the pile

But it deserves a post of its own.

Fuck Off John Conyers.

That's How They Escape From Ken

Courtesy of Rob at Crab Apple Lane, who sent me this link.

A jewel amongst the chaff

Amid the usual drivel on the LATimes op-ed page comes a gem:

Why you should learn algebra
Those who complain about its impracticality ignore that math teaches the mind how to think.
By David Eggenschwiler, DAVID EGGENSCHWILER is an English professor emeritus at USC.

And it's written by an English professor, no less. That is megacool, nay, teracool.

EVERY YEAR, as many California high school seniors struggle with basic algebra, which is required for graduation, Times readers complain, "Who needs it? How many students will ever use it?"

Well, a lot of foolish people write to the Times.

Well, I use it every day; I'm using it now, even though I haven't worked an algebraic equation since my son was in the seventh grade several years ago.

Mathematics and science are unnatural practices.

Now, I'm going to take some issue with this statement and the explanatoria* that follow.

As physics professor Alan Cromer has brutally and elegantly written, "the human mind wasn't designed to study physics," and of course mathematics is the language of physics.

Mathematics is the language of many things, not just the sciences.

"Design" here does not indicate an intelligent designer, which would suggest a creator with a math phobia. Rather it indicates evolutionary processes by which the human brain and mind have come to be what they are.

During the approximately 2 million years that it took for our Homo forebears [Heh, he said "homo", huh huh**.] to progress from habilis to sapiens***, they had little use for mathematical reasoning abilities. Their sapientia seems to have been more suited in a good Darwinian sense to the immediate demands of their survival, such as eating, mating and avoiding premature death.

Here is why I take issue with this section: Except for a few basic instincts, everything skill we have is learned. The particular skills useful to Homos**** habilis through sapiens, and including Homo erectus*****, were also learned and were no more natural than math or physics, just more useful at the time.

Still, my little quibble aside, it is very heartening to see a defense of algebra.

Whether for good or ill, as time may tell, our situations have changed much in the last few thousand years, and so have demands on our poor, lagging minds. I don't mean only the obvious and oft-repeated claim that technical jobs require greater skills. That is clear enough in auto mechanics and computer programming. I mean the need to think abstractly, systematically and rationally in various ways.

Science and mathematics have the most exacting demands for such thinking, but there are many other disciplines that require it.

Preach it, Brother Dave!

Even the practices of critical reading and writing that I teach are soft but still demanding forms of rationality, and I occasionally fear that the human mind was not designed to study them either.

It's not, same as math and science. The mind evolved to be eminently flexible, not to be programmed for particular things.

Fortunately, however, the mind can be altered; the brain can learn to function in different ways. We can even, if pushed hard enough, learn to think in what physicist Lewis Wolpert has called "the unnatural nature of science."

Jeez, what is it with physicists thinking that learning science is unnatural?

Because our minds are not greatly civilized into reason (as political speeches****** show), we need some hard instruction to learn to do what we do not do naturally, and as the ancient Greeks discovered, mathematics is a fine schoolmaster (or mistress) for that purpose.

So much for the "constructivist" method of teaching. Constructivists should be flogged and made to swallow their own bile.

In most scholastic and academic disciplines, what you learn to think about is not as important as how you learn to think.

Well, provided you learn the basic building blocks first. But the point is well taken: For most of the things we learn in school, including tertiary education, the important thing is not WHAT we learn but THAT we learn and in different ways. That's why state colleges have a foreign language entrance requirement even though a foreign language is largely useless to even educated Americans, Alta California notwithstanding.

I encourage my college honor students to think in odd, even deviant******** ways, but I couldn't do that if they had not already learned how to think abstractly and systematically. They have taken their algebra and physics and are ready to think still differently, even while becoming creative writers and musicians.

Math is not just the language, but the very foundation of music.

One of the most brilliantly wacky English professors I know once studied engineering. I was going to be a physicist before I was seduced into the pleasant valleys of the social sciences and humanities.

So let us not hear repeatedly that high school algebra is a waste of time because it does not directly train students for the job market.

Slightly off point, but have you ever noticed how so many "educated" people who think algebra is a waste of time think that studying literature is not? I'm hard pressed to come up with a list of jobs for which literary criticism is a useful skill.

Even in a vocational program, it teaches the mind how to think. In some cases it might even teach students to think about the universe, which is a very nice way to spend one's life.

Especially if one has been drinking.

Let us instead ask the harder question: How can we better prepare students to study algebra? It would surely not be easy, but it is worth doing.

Excellent advice, Professor Dave. If I had to choose one field to be made mandatory for all students in all disciplines, it would be math*******.

*I made it up.

**Okay, sorry about that, I couldn't resist.

***For those of you who didn't know, "sapiens", like "biceps", is NOT PLURAL.

****"Homos" is plural and I did it deliberately, even if it's not strictly correct usage here.

*****I will not make a joke, I will not make a joke, I will not make a joke...

******Reason is to politicians as garlic is to vampires

********This pleases me.

*******I noticed that I skipped the 7-asterisk footnote so I'm adding it here and now the balance is restored.

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

The legislature of the state of California can fuck off. For a lot of reasons, but today, they can fuck off for fucking up so bad they created a statewide energy crisis which afterwards they tried to rectify by fucking their constituents sideways fifty times a week. The little incentive programs they've offered apartment owners to urge them to install energy-saving lighting and heating devices can fuck off. Not that energy saving is a bad idea most of the time, but when I wake up in fucking Siberia and the override function on my heater won't let me turn it on in the name of "saving energy"? FUCK OFF.

Take it away.

Humor

Oh cripes this is funny. Heard on KSFO.

Character

Chuckie Rangel has none.

RANGEL BOOTS VEEP
EVICTS CHENEY FROM CHOICE CAPITOL DIGS
By GEOFF EARLE and IAN BISHOP Post Correspondents

.January 4, 2007 -- WASHINGTON - Rep. Charles Rangel has evicted Vice President Dick Cheney from his office in the Capitol, and the Harlem heavyweight is moving into the prime digs today, The Post has learned.

Gilded letters were freshly painted atop the office door yesterday proclaiming "Ways and Means Committee" - confirming that the office now belongs to Rangel, the House panel's new chairman.

Sources said Cheney's and his staff's belongings were removed over the holidays.

Later in the story, it's noted that the office was "on loan" to the VP and has traditionally been the office of the Chairman of the WaMC. So why does this show a lack of character on Chuckie's part?

The new digs give Rangel some of the choicest and most politically central real estate in all of Washington - as well as a measure of sweet revenge.

Rangel moved at lightning speed to boot the man he once told The Post is a "son of a bitch."

Even before Rangel officially took charge as the new chairman - which will happen at noon today - Capitol workers expunged the last traces of Cheney and brought in Rangel's plush furniture. [...]

Rangel was giddy at the prospect of giving Cheney the boot the day after Democrats delivered Republicans a crushing defeat on Election Day. [...]

"I'm trying to find some way to be gentle as I restore the dignity of that office," Rangel chuckled at the time. "You gotta go, you gotta go."

Rangel was so eager to bounce Cheney from the office, he phoned new House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (Calif.) less than 12 hours after the polls closed to get her approval.

If I recall correctly, that was before Chuckie was chosen as Chairman. In fact, it was before Pelosi was chosen as Speaker.

The VP, on the other hand, showed some class.

Cheney's office took the high road yesterday. Spokeswoman Mary McGinn told The Post, "It was always our understanding that that office was on loan."

Putting "Paid" to a debt

Time to burn the mortgage.

Britain pays off WWII debt to Canada, U.S.
Updated Fri. Dec. 29 2006 10:01 AM ET
Associated Press

LONDON -- Britain paid the last instalment of its Second World War-era debt to Canada and the United States today.

It made its final US$100-million payment to its allies.

It must hurt to be in debt to your former colonies. Especially Canada.

Britain was left with a debt of more than $4 billion to the U.S. and $1.2 billion to Canada more than 60 years ago, when London took out loans to finance reconstruction.

Annual payments on the loans, taken out at two per cent interest, have since totalled nearly $10 billion, or about twice the original debt in dollar terms.

Well, anyone who's ever had a credit card knows that that's what happens when you don't pay promptly.

Britain agreed to repay the money over 50 years, but the loan's terms allowed deferred payments when economic conditions were difficult.

Britain deferred payments six times during the 1950s and 1960s, when unfavourable exchange rates and low currency reserves made them onerous.

We could have send Big Tony to break their knees but we're a forgiving people. And I'd have been willing to call the debt paid after they gave us the Mersey folks.

Yo! Ladies!

Listen up.

See how much we love you and what we are willing to give up for you? You may thank us later.

"Looked Fun"

Documentary filmmaker Stanley Nelson:

All the people are there, everybody that you know and love, you can go put the kids to bed, and they’re safe in their beds, and you can come back and party all night long. Hey. Looked fun to me.”

What such setting of good times and frivolity could Mr. Nelson be referring to?

a) The video footage of a recent trip some friends of his took at Disneyland.
b) The last party hosted by Paris Hilton.
c) Christmas on Walton Mountain.
d) Jonestown.

Answer below the fold.

D. No, I can't fucking believe it either.

I think these cult apologists might bring on my FUCK OFF early. I'll try to hold it in until Friday.

Happy Birthday

Our blog buddy Cullen is turning 33 today. Go wish him a happy one.

Ruling - soup is not "racist"

From the ridiculous to the sublime:

A French court ruled Tuesday that an organization with far-right links can continue offering pork soup to the homeless, rejecting police complaints that the food distribution was racist.

Police banned the soup kitchen last month, arguing that the handouts discriminated against Jews and Muslims who do not eat pork on religious grounds.

Because it's better for everybody to go hungry than to offend the religious sensibilities of minorities.

The administrative court said the distribution was "clearly discriminatory," but could not be stopped because the organizers offered to feed anyone who asked for help.

The mayor of Paris condemned the ruling and urged the police to appeal the ruling.

"Faced by this initiative which stinks of xenophobia, I want once again to express city hall's desire to fight all forms of discrimination, racism and anti-Semitism," mayor Bertrand Delanoe said in a statement.

People who serve pork products hate Jews. Bacon: it's like the Holocaust all over again.

The food handouts are organized by a nationalist group called Solidarity of the French (SDF)**. It says its "pig soup," which uses pork fat for stock, is country fare much loved by French traditionalists.

Isn't that great? Now, preparing a traditional French dish with traditional French ingredients and giving it away for free to people in France is considered "xenophobic" and "racist." What, no cries of "racism" against Catholics for refusing to serve fish soup on Friday? Are they being "racist" if they operate during daylight hours in the month of Ramadan? Will this open the floodgates of sensitivity across Europe, allowing people with gluten allergies to complain about the "racism" of Yorkshire Pudding?

Okay, taken into account that the real ire for this organization and their activities is probably that they are deemed "far-right*," you have to kind of shudder knowing that we live in an era where French people are actually decrying their own customs. That's like Madonna calling for an end to egomania and crap disco.

*Also keeping in mind that the French + "Reuters" definition of "far-right " probably = people opposed to state-funded television.

**I Googled these guys and couldn't come up with anything useful, so there's a chance they really could be nasty folks, a la the BNP or what not. Nothing I've written here should be assumed as a defense for their benefit. I don't know anything about them except that they serve pork soup to the homeless.

A Grand Idea

Well, the first paragraph pretty much tells you all you need to know about the people of the "anti-consumer movement":

It began, as grand ideas often do, over a dinner — risotto, artisan cheese and wine. What would it be like, 10 environmentally conscious friends wondered as they discussed the state of the planet, to go a year without buying anything new?

I'll just leave it at that. Their sacrifice deserves the silence.

Plugging a book

Fuck bureaucrats. Especially British bureaucrats. As one commenter (an American commenter, of course) on the Daily Mail story said, "Do me a favor, stop having such bad ideas over there. They eventually end up filtering to our own socialists here who attempt to run with them."

Yeah, no shit they do. Here is a partial list of the items banned from advertising:

Marmite - Well that should make Vegemite Man happy. The interesting part, of course, is the line in the story that "[the] model assesses the fat, sugar and salt content in a 100g or 100ml serving of food or drink." Well, my hat's off to anyone who could eat a whole 100g of Marmite. I mean, I love the stuff but not that much.
Flora Lite
half-fat cheddar - I thought the point was to cut down on fat
Dairylea triangles
bran flakes - After all those years of hyping bran?
camembert - I fart in the general direction of France
sugar-coated puffed wheat
instant hot oat cereal
Jaffa cakes
reduced calorie mayonnaise - Again with a low-fat item
multi-grain hoop cereal - I though "multi-grain" was supposed to be good for you
half-fat creme fraiche - They really should just ban ads for anything French
takeaway chicken nuggets
potato waffles - WTF? What is wrong with potato waffles?
Greek yoghurt (from sheep's milk) - All yogurt should be banned completely, but maybe that's just me
ham
sausages
bacon rashers
low-fat spreads - Low fat AGAIN?
peanuts - PEANUTS?????
cashew nuts - CASHEWS?????
pistachio-nuts - PISTACHIOS????? Fucking PISTACHIOS?????
peanut butter
raisins - But not prunes? They take away the bran and give the kids prunes? This does NOT bode well.
sultanas
currants
low-fat potato crisps
olive oil - Now how frickin' retarded is that? Again, it was probably that "100 g or 100ml" thing again
butter - Apparently, they just want to screw over the whole dairy industry
pizza
hamburgers
tomato ketchup - Pizza, hamburgers, and ketchup? That's un-American!
chocolate
brown sauce
cola
lemonade - LEMONADE?

To continue the idiocy, here is a partial list of items allowed in advertising:

Plain fromage frais - Which is a cheese
fish fingers - Does anyone want to eat a fish that has fingers?
lasagne ready meals
currant buns - Currants are banned, but currant buns are okay?
malt loaf - Oh PUKE, that sounds horrid. I want my malt in a bottle.
frozen roast potatoes
chicken curry with rice ready meal
frozen oven chips
sliced white bread
cottage cheese - Retch.
supermarket frozen chicken nuggets - But not takeaway?
milk
brazil nuts - But peanuts, cashews, and pistachios are verboten
canned strawberries in syrup
diet cola - Fruits and nuts are out, but artificial crap is okay?
chocolate-flavoured milk

Good gawd. The only bright side is that it gives me another chance to plug a great book I acquired awhile back and which I am currently rereading:

"Mission Accomplished"

Okay, it may vaguely resemble unseemly gloating at the death of a mass murderer, but so be it.

The Rose Bowl

USC is stomping the crap out of Michigan.

All is right with the world.