it comes in pints?

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Fortunately for me, I had daughters and never had to go through the "pubescent-boy-testing-the-parents" phase. Especially fortunate, because I don't think I'd have come up with any kind of comeback this brilliant. (Via Joel).

And no, I still don't really get the title of Crystal's blog.

Stupid environmentalists

But I repeat myself.

I'm not a boater. I would kind of like to be one but I have neither the time nor the spare cash to do it properly. And, unlike real boaters, to me a boat is just a way to get to the fish.

Still, I greatly dislike overbearing regulations. More, I hate stupidly-crafted regulations, especially those handed down by unelected judges. Like this one.

Rougher waters for boaters?
U.S. may impose a $1,500 yearly environmental fee.
By M.S. Enkoji - Bee Staff Writer

Sonny Cline pays to license his 22-foot Regal cuddy cabin boat, pays to rent a slip on the Sacramento River and pays taxes on extras like the water space he uses.

How would he feel about forking over more money for a federal environmental permit, maybe $1,500 a year by one estimate?

"Oh, you're kidding? That is insane," Cline said.

Owners of the country's 18 million recreation boats might agree.

So would many of the rest of us. At least, those of us not blinded by stupidity and ideology.

A ruling in a federal lawsuit being heard in California could require new permits on all vessels -- possibly everything from canoes and kayaks to oceangoing cargo ships -- according to recreation boating advocates.

Canoes and kayaks? Fucking canoes and kayaks? Given the reason this idiotic judgment was made, that is fucking ludicrous.

Several environmental groups in Oregon and California have sued the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, charging that, by not enforcing the 1972 Clean Water Act properly, it failed to stop the invasion of destructive, foreign marine life, such as zebra mussels in the Great Lakes region and Chinese mitten crabs in the Delta and the Bay Area.

The invasive species hitchhike in the 21 billion gallons of ship ballast taken in at distant ports and dumped annually around U.S. shores, according to environmental groups.

A very reliable source as always, I'm sure. But I won't quibble over their number, only their brain power.

A judge in U.S. District Court for the Northern District of California in September ordered the EPA to create a permit process by September 2008 for vessels that dispense effluent.

The federal agency and the shipping industry tried to confine the permit process to ocean vessels that take on ballast.

The court instead issued a sweeping order that extended to any vessel that discharges any fluid, including the typical 15-foot boat purchased for nothing more than puttering down the Delta on weekends, said Duncan Neasham, a spokesman for the National Marine Manufacturers Association in Washington, D.C.

"Effluent is anything that comes off a boat," he said. "If you spill a Coke or wash your boat down, or carry a bottle of water on your kayak, you might be included."

In the words of a great American, "the law is a ass".

Okay, so he wasn't American, it still holds.

The industry is hoping that Congress will pass a law before the deadline that would largely exempt recreational boaters, Neasham said.

Gawd, I would hope so.

Environmental groups, including the San Francisco-based Baykeeper, argue in court documents that 10,000 marine species trek the globe via ballast, causing annual economic losses as high as $137 billion, double the yearly damage by natural disasters in the United States.

I'm having difficulty remembering the last canoe, or even bass boat, that "trekked the globe".

Congress has never been moved to create a law that specifically targets domestic-traveling recreational vessels, meaning it should support one that excludes them, Podlich said.

Okay, in fairness to the environazis, that is a complete non sequitur.

But speaking of non sequiturs... well, no, speaking of lies and stupidities:

Fears of burdensome fees and cumbersome government permits imposed on recreational vehicles are unfounded, said Deb Self, executive director of Baykeeper, a citizens advocacy group that protects waterways in the Delta and Bay Area.

"We have no way of knowing what the permit process will be," she said.

Wow, that makes me feel better. "Your fears are unfounded because we don't know what some idiot judge will do."

Actually, I'm afraid I do know what some judge will do. And given what I've seen of environazis, I am not assured in the least that they do not mean ill toward all boaters and do not welcome a ruling that penalizes recreational boaters. Even kayakers.

Help

I need some technical web advice from anyone who can help - someone once told me how here, but I can't find it anywhere. I need to know if there's a way to over-ride whatever the funky code is that won't let people in other countries watch US, web-based shows over the internet (like the ones on abc.com or whatever). If anyone knows how and can give me a hand, you'll have my gratitude and I'll buy you a beer the first chance I get.

Sucker

I'm a sucker for meaningless-yet-mildly-amusing trivial tidbits. While looking up the news story for the birthday bash of the Purgatory Cherubs to confirm that it was the 50th anniversary of the Oakland chapter alone, I happened to click through to the page on "American Pie". There I came across some amusing tidbits in the "Covers and parodies" section:

In 1999, parodist "Weird Al" Yankovic did a Star Wars-inspired lyrical adaptation of "American Pie" entitled "The Saga Begins" ...

I've heard it, pretty amusing.

While McLean gave permission for the parody, he did not make a cameo appearance in its video, despite popular rumour. However, he has stated that at live shows he almost starts singing Yankovic's lyrics, due to his children playing the song so often.

Heh.

There is a Mathematical parody "Mathematical Pi" (hear it here). It almost mimics the real song, except for the "sevens" in the chorus.

Sadly, the links provided seem to be dead now. Pity, I really wanted to hear it and pass it on to Daughter Number Two.

["Killing Me Softly", written about Don McLean] created a unique Grammy situation: in 1973, Flack won Record of the Year, beating out "American Pie", a song by McLean; in 1974, she won the same award for a song about McLean. Flack and McLean have performed "Killing Me" Softly together in concert at least once.

Quotation marks added; the contributors for this page seem to have something against punctuation.

Anyway, I, for one, seem to be easily amused. But at least I haven't spent years and years trying to puzzle out the hidden meaning of a pop song. I mean, I like the song and all, but it some people seem to have put some excessive energy into analyzing it, energy that could have been put to better use doing something more useful. Like drinking heavily.

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

Misogyny. I'm not some feminist that shaves my head but not my legs who throws that word around a lot. I really don't see it very often and when I do, it's usually because I got stuck on the Lifetime channel when I was drunk after losing the remote.

But I have seen it. I've been the butt end of it. And misogynists can fuck off. Don't give me any of that "mamma didn't love me" crap. Mamma didn't love me or anyone else either, and left a 27 fucking page suicide note behind telling us all why. That last succubus that fucked you over? She doesn't speak for ME. She is not the blueprint for all of womankind. I have been beaten, abandoned, screwed over for money or other selfish pleasures and even fucking RAPED by men and I've managed to not hate the whole lot of you for the mean, unkind actions of a handful of your sex. Maybe you might consider - just fucking CONSIDER - that sometimes, the queer or less-than-sweetums-can-I-fetch-you-your-slippers reaction that you get from women might - just MIGHT - be a response to your own goddamm behavior and attitude? Maybe you could just THINK that it's not all of womankind being deliberately rude to you and perhaps just reacting to you? Seriously, you assfucks sound like that twatwaffle L. Ron Hubbard, who, after presenting the most ridiculous, absurd fucking theories on mental science to the psychiatric community, found himself met with rejection and instead of reconsidering his thoughts, maybe reworking his theories, blamed the entire fucking profession for not recognizing his genius. That's why Tom Cruise thinks you're glib. Because one man who found himself against the unfriendly or dismissive face of thousands wouldn't consider for a single damn second that the problem might be with HIM.

I'm sick of the "oh, isn't it cute? She has an opinion" e-mails. I'm sick of being talked to like I'm a goddamm six-year-old by some guy who thinks his dick and chromosomes give him the right. Men like that are the reason you only see me here on Fridays now, the reason why I'm quietly blogging somewhere else in fucking peace. Bite me, you fucking wastes of life and space. I only wish I could get over the anger and feel the way I should when it comes to men like you: BORED.

And for the record, in case I haven't made it clear (which I'm pretty sure I have, but again, I'm just a dumb, lowly woman who shouldn't even presume to speak of such matters in the first place), I'm not talking about ALL men. Most of you are GREAT. I love you and all of the wonderful things you bring to my life. But when you come across one of these ratsucking assmunchers, you don't forget them too easy.

Fuck 'em. At least I'm half the way to bored.

Your turn. Take the wheel and drive us to Saturday. I really fucking need it.

Oh joy

How nice.

Bikers gear up for Hells Angels party
By KIM CURTIS, Associated Press Writer
Fri Mar 30, 3:21 AM ET

OAKLAND, Calif. - Even with some of its members old enough to collect retirement pay, a party at Hells Angels headquarters is no celebration for the police

As the club planned to mark the 50th anniversary of its founding this weekend, police put extra officers on duty Thursday, even as they downplayed the chance of trouble from a club with a long history of run-ins with the law.

Most of the stories I found don't make it clear that this is the birthday of the Oakland chapter itself.

Christie said the event, which kicks off Friday with a concert, is drawing members to Oakland from all over the world.

Hells Angels and concerts are not a good mix.

The motorcycle club's Oakland chapter, best known for providing security at the 1969 Altamont Free Concert where a fan was killed by a Hells Angel, is expected to have 600 to 800 bikers at the event, police said.

I think I'll be steering clear of Oakland this weekend.

I hate 18 hour days

So I went home after 17 and a half. Then while I was sucking down several Sierra Nevadas to be able to go to sleep so I can get up and be back before 6 tomorrow, I came across this. Now if I'm understanding this correctly:

- A septic pool collapsed, flooding a Gaza village with sewage.

- It collapsed because people were mining it for sand (in Gaza).

- The village had a septic pool because Gaza can't update its infrastructure because of the constant Israeli-Palestinian fighting.

- Israel was supplying pipes to be used to build a new sewage system in Gaza, but...

- A metal merchant in Gaza, instead of providing them to the people who work on the sewage system, was selling those pipes to other people.

- Those other people were using the pipes to manufacture rockets...

- Which were being used in the ongoing Israeli-Palestinian fighting.

As the man says, it's beyond parody.

Outstanding post

Via Joel, Marko the Munchkin Wrangler explains Why the Gun is Civilization. A taste:

Human beings only have two ways to deal with one another: reason and force... When I carry a gun, you cannot deal with me by force. You have to use reason and try to persuade me...

The gun is the only personal weapon that puts a 100-pound woman on equal footing with a 220-pound mugger, a 75-year old retiree on equal footing with a 19-year old gangbanger, and a single gay guy on equal footing with a carload of drunk guys with baseball bats...

People who argue for the banning of arms ask for automatic rule by the young, the strong, and the many, and that's the exact opposite of a civilized society. A mugger, even an armed one, can only make a successful living in a society where the state has granted him a force monopoly.

Quite so. To expand on the old saw, "God created men and women, Colonel Colt made them equal."

Tough guy

So I'm sitting here rasslin' with a spreadsheet and the radio had a "tough guy" story that I just couldn't pass up. Short version:

Kid finds severed finger. Gives it to police. Police tell newspaper. Newspaper writes story. BGuy reads story and calls the police, says he cut it off in a snowblower accident two weeks before, didn't bother to look for it.

Buddy, that's tough.

Tougher than woodpecker lips.

Slapping lawyers

Yay judge (registration required).

Judge rebukes access lawyer
Disabled-activist attorney is ordered to pay $15,000 and go to ethics classes.

One of California's busiest disabled-access attorneys -- a controversial figure who has sued entire towns over alleged access violations -- has been rebuked by a San Diego federal court judge for his conduct in a recent case.

San Diego attorney Theodore Pinnock, who has cerebral palsy and uses a wheelchair, was ordered to pay more than $15,000 in legal fees incurred by a business owner who was sued over alleged access violations at a convenience store that wasn't even open for business.

[...]

In this case, the firm of Pinnock & Wakefield filed a class-action lawsuit in October against the owner of a convenience store in San Diego, alleging numerous access violations. The suit was filed on behalf of the Association of Women with Disabilities Advocating Access and Delores Jackson, 71, a disabled member.

Jackson, who uses a walker, said she had "researched" the store and had photographic evidence of numerous violations. In the complaint, she said she had intended to patronize the store but would have been thwarted by problems with signage, the entrance door, interior paths, counter height, parking and the restroom, among many things.

The businessman's attorney countered that the convenience store wasn't even open to the public at the time Jackson was allegedly denied access, having been seriously damaged in December 2004 by a flood.

Mitch Wallis, attorney for convenience store owner Marcos Mouet, also told the court that the small store, which remains shuttered, didn't even have a public restroom. Jackson's lawsuit also alleged that interior pathways weren't wide enough, but Mouet's attorney noted that the shelves had been pushed against the wall to fix the flood damage.

[...]

Pinnock has a reputation of filing numerous access suits. He told The Bee last year that overall he has lodged more than 2,000 complaints in California. ... In its investigation, The Bee found that Pinnock had asked a 17-year-old disabled boy to visit the Alpine businesses the attorney had targeted and offered to pay him $1,000 for each case that was settled. The boy refused.

Good for him.

And good for Judge Miller. I'm all for access, but I'm tired of lawyers abusing well-intentioned laws.

I'm reminded of the time the disabilities columnist (yes, they had one) of a local paper sued a local restaurant because one table, out of thirty or so, wasn't wheelchair-accessible. I don't remember the specific outcome but I think it was that the table was removed. Dude, use some freakin' judgment.

Grrr

My diplomatic polish is rapidly losing its gloss.

Movie review

Click through.

I may have to bend my rule of not watching a new movie until, um, ever.

Well, I think it's official

Not absolutely sure, but I think that Daughter Number One has turned down the offer from Harvard graduate school. I guess Hah-vahd is just not up to her standards.

WOO HOO!

WOO HOO!

"Hubba hubba" on so many levels.

Via Chris Muir, by way of Brian.

Yeah, I can see it

Down in the FFO thread, CuriousFeller made the comment:

On a different note, does Armadinajad look a lot like Ringo Starr to anyone besides me? Has anyone seen Ringo lately?

I hadn't really considered it before, but now that you mention it:

Yeah, I can see it:

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

Recorded political messages on my answering machine can fuck off. If you think bugging me during my personal time at home urging me to support Candidate X or Initiative Y is actually going earn my vote, you are very, very delusional.

Those people that stand outside of supermarkets aggressively urging me to sign one of those fucking petitions to get an initiative on the ballot can fuck off. With cheese-covered, assburger knobs on. I know it's your job and you're just trying to earn a living like everyone else, the thing is, some of us deliberately choose occupations that don't necessarily demand that we abruptly get in the face of people just trying to buy a loaf of bread and some lettuce. The ones who try to trip some upstairs psychological guilt switch by accusing me of hating children because I won't support their dumb inititative can fuck off and DIE A HORRIBLE FUCKING DEATH. I mean it. The only California voter initiative I will ever vote "yes" for is the voter initiative calling for an end to voter initiatives. Like I'd sign the fucking petition to start the process in the first place.

Bite me, the government of the state of California. You suck harder than Paris Hilton in the back seat of Brandon Davis' SUV in the earliest hours of Sunday.

Proud papa moment

In the category of "things you don't like to hear your daughter say".

Daughter Number Two is home for a little while. We were watching "Jeopardy!" last night on tape. She happened to remark "I didn't do well in [I forget which category], but I got all the transvestite questions right."

Well that settles it then

Her Ladyship has spoken.

MADONNA FOR 'PREZ' GORE

The Material Girl told a German newspaper that she "would publicly support [Gore] if he joins the race."

I guess Hillary might as well pack it in and go fishing.

This sucks too

A little bit of history is going away.

Historic Bay Meadows race track to close

SAN MATEO, Calif. (AP) - The historic Bay Meadows race track will close following its summer-fall season, after officials failed to receive an exemption Thursday from mandatory upgrades for every major track in the state.

Track officials had sought a two-year exemption from a California Horse Racing Board mandate that the state's five major tracks replace their dirt ovals with artificial surfaces that are considered safer for horses. Officials made the request to keep racing as long as possible at Bay Meadows, which faces closure to make way for commercial and residential development.

[...]

"For racing in California, this is a day of infamy," Bay Meadows president F. Jack Liebau said. "Racing in Northern California will never exist as in the past. There will be a severe fallout from this. I'm stunned."

Infamy indeed. The nanny-state screws us over again.

Yeah, it's personal. I've never been to Bay Meadows, but I've been meaning to for years. I will absolutely go before they close. See, there is, or used to be, a placque there. It's a tribute to this guy.

Cathy Siepp

Read this.

And this.

And this.

And this.

And most especially this.

'splain me please

Caught in passing in Dave's followup post:

"This is being blown way out of proportion," said Abdi Sheikhosman, a professor of Islamic law at the University of Minnesota Law School. "Pork products represent a very small percentage of Target's overall products. ... Accommodations could have been made."

Why is there a "Professor of Islamic Law" at an American (public) university law school?

Want some "jeez" with that whine?

I don't have the energy to do a proper fisking (and I'm a few Nectars of the Gods in, so it may be rambling), but this whiny-assed snot deserves at least a minimal attempt (registration probably required).

Why do straights hate gays?

Most of us don't. Even out of the 60% or so who don't support gay marriage, most don't have a particular hatred toward gays, only a quaint, somewhat old-fashioned notion of marriage.

An aging 72-year-old gay man isn't hopeful about the future.

Then said 72-year-old is willfully blind. Blinded by hatred, no doubt.

By Larry Kramer, LARRY KRAMER is the founder of the protest group ACT UP and the author of "The Tragedy of Today's Gays."

Founder of ACT UP. That's why I hate you, asshole. One of the most useless, ineffective, and self-marginalizing organizations I've ever seen. And, quite possibly, one of the more dangerous to gays.

DEAR STRAIGHT PEOPLE,

Why do you hate gay people so much?

Didn't you hear me before? Most of us don't, and we don't like being lumped in with those who do anymore than you like being sterotyped.

Gays are hated. Prove me wrong.

You and every other conceivable group in the world. Get over yourself. Every group is hated by somebody, but you seem to think that we "breeders" hate you in particular. We don't. At least, not simply for being gay, only for being a jerk. Accept it.

Your top general just called us immoral.

So? It was a personal opinion of behavior that I don't happen to share. But religiousoids can still "love the sinner, hate the sin". Even an asshole like Jerry Falwell says stuff like that.

Marine Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs, is in charge of an estimated 65,000 gay and lesbian troops, some fighting for our country in Iraq.

Where the hell did you come up with that number? Even assuming Kinsey's dubious estimate of 10% of the population, that would require a current U.S. miltary strength of 6.5 million. Ain't no way.

A right-wing political commentator, Ann Coulter, gets away with calling a straight presidential candidate a faggot.

It was a poorly conceived reference to some basketball player who got hauled off to rehab. Oh, and she was called to the carpet on it by many "right-wing" commentators. Just for the record.

Even Garrison Keillor, of all people, is making really tacky jokes about gay parents in his column.

Okay, since I don't find him particularly funny (well, occasionally), and since he is a lefty nutbag, I'll give you this one.

GARRISON KEILLOR IS A GAYBASHING NUTJOB!

Happy now?

This, I guess, does not qualify as hate except that it is so distasteful and dumb, often a first step on the way to hate.

Uh, no. "Distasteful and dumb" is just distasteful and dumb. Hate requires a wee bit more.

Sens. Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama tried to duck the questions that Pace's bigotry raised, confirming what gay people know: that there is not one candidate running for public office anywhere who dares to come right out, unequivocally, and say decent, supportive things about us.

Gays should not vote for any of them. There is not a candidate or major public figure who would not sell gays down the river.

Well, most politicians seem to be basically whores.

No offense to whores. I actually respect them.

But wasn't it a hated Rethuglican who publicly disagreed with Pace?

We have seen this time after time, even from supposedly progressive politicians such as President Clinton[Clinton? Progressive? - Ed] with his "don't ask, don't tell" policy on gays in the military and his support of the hideous Defense of Marriage Act.

Uh, dude, DADT was progressive. And one of the most vociferous opponents of the ban on gays in the military was a "hopeless reactionary".

Of course, it's possible that being shunned by gays will make politicians more popular, but at least we will have our self-respect. To vote for them is to collude with them in their utter disdain for us.

So you can't vote for anyone who has total disdain for you? I guess you don't get to vote at all.

Don't any of you wonder why heterosexuals treat gays so brutally year after year after year, as your people take away our manhood, our womanhood, our personhood?

Brutally? I want examples of how, exactly, I've done that.

Why, even as we die you don't leave us alone. What we can leave our surviving lovers is taxed far more punitively than what you leave your (legal) surviving spouses.

Say what?

Oh, you must be talking about the Death Tax. You know, that nasty little tax your lefty friends like to defend even though it doesn't affect rich liberals like the Kennedys.

And actually, married couples don't really "escape" it. It just gets deferred until the death of the second spouse with no significant tax savings overall.

Why do you do this? My lover will be unable to afford to live in the house we have made for each other over our lifetime together.

Um, yeah he will. All you have to do is put him in your will or (better) your trust. That's two million (death) tax free if you die this year. 3.5 million if you die in 2009 and totally free if you die in 2010. Of course, if you live beyond that, your rich liberal politician friends will make sure that you get reamed.

This does not happen to you.

Yeah, actually it does. Over and over.

Taxation without representation is what led to the Revolutionary War.

Christ, I want to throw up. You have representation. You may not like that your representatives don't necessarily follow your views (God knows my reps doesn't reflect much, or any, of mine) but, you know, tough shit.

Gay people have paid all the taxes you have. But you have equality, and we don't.

Well, that depends on what you mean by equality. More on this below.

And there's no sign that this situation will change anytime soon. President Bush will leave a legacy of hate for us that will take many decades to cleanse. He has packed virtually every court and every civil service position in the land with people who don't like us.

"Legacy of hate"? WTF? This whole section is so deranged it's hard to know where to start.

So, even with the most tolerant of new presidents, gays will be unable to break free from this yoke of hate. Courts rule against gays with hateful regularity.

"Hateful regularity"? Because some don't simply overturn laws you don't like?

And of course the Supreme Court is not going to give us our equality, and in the end, it is from the Supreme Court that such equality must come. If all of this is not hate, I do not know what hate is.

Apparently, then, you haven't the slightest idea what "hate" is.

Our feeble [Feeble? - Ed.] gay movement confines most of its demands to marriage. But political candidates are not talking about — and we are not demanding that they talk about — equality. My lover and I don't want to get married just yet, but we sure want to be equal.

So please explain exactly what this means. You want "equality" in marriage laws, but don't want to get married? But still want equality? What the hell does that mean?

Actually, I suspect I know what it means. I'm reminded of a particularly stupid comment from a socialist politician in Santa Cruz some years ago. It went, as memory serves, "These people came of age believing that all the law should be colorblind. But they haven't moved beyond that."

You must know that gays get beaten up all the time, all over the world.

Yeah? So? It's not like we don't punish the offenders. Matthew Shepard's murderers got life sentences. Personally, I'd have executed the bastards. Does that make me a "hater"?

If someone beats you up because of who you are — your race or ethnic origin — that is considered a hate crime. But in most states, gays are not included in hate crime measures, and Congress has refused to include us in a federal act.

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I oppose "hate crimes" of all sorts. See, I don't find much difference between beating up someone because he's gay, and beating him up just because. Does that make me a "hater"?

Homosexuality is a punishable crime in a zillion countries, as is any activism on behalf of it. Punishable means prison. Punishable means death.

Funny thing here. The most anti-gay (as in executing them) groups in the world just happen to be Islamofascists. The same ones opposed by our government. That the supposedly "pro-gay" left hates. The same "fascist" government hated by ACT UP.

Funny that.

The U.S. government refused our requests that it protest after gay teenagers were hanged in Iran, but it protests many other foreign cruelties.

Funny, I seem to recall the U.S. givernment expressing a measure of outrage that Iran was executing gays. And I'm trying to remember the last time the U.S., or any state government therein, executed a homosexual for being gay.

Who cares if a faggot dies?

Well normally I do, but I'm willing to make an exception for San Franciscan leftards.

Parts of the Episcopal Church in the U.S. are joining with the Nigerian archbishop, who believes gays should be put in prison. Episcopalians! Whoever thought we'd have to worry about Episcopalians?

Who, indeed? Terrible shame that Episcopalians are currently exercising their dictatorial powers and putting gays in prison.

Oh, wait...

Well, whoever thought we'd have to worry about Florida? A young gay man was just killed in Florida because of his sexual orientation.

Yeah, and? It happens all over, and not just for sexual orientation. Maybe you should consider buying a gun. After all, armed gays don't get bashed. Or does that offend your little liberal sensitivities?

I get reports of gays slain in our country every week. Few of them make news. Fewer are prosecuted.

Unlike every other category of crime in the whole country.

Do you consider it acceptable that 20,000 Christian youths make an annual pilgrimage to San Francisco to pray for gay souls?

Um, yeah. I also consider it foolish, misguided, and borderline retarded. But I don't consider it particularly hateful.

This is not free speech.

Yeah, it is. Unless you're a moron living in San Francisco.

But I repeat myself.

This is another version of hate. It is all one world of gay-hate. It always was.

Lordy. What a fucking pity party.

Gays do not realize that the more we become visible, the more we come out of the closet, the more we are hated.

Well, maybe you could do better than to let yourselves be represented in the media by these folks. 'Cause I gotta tell you, man, they don't put your best foot forward when you you want to convince the fence sitters. In fact, I still maintain that the cause of gay marriage would be advance by nuking San Freaky.

Now, if you want some better representatives for gays, try this guy. And this gal. And this guy. And this gal. And this guy. And these guys.

Don't those of you straights who claim not to hate us have a responsibility to denounce the hate?

I do denounce the hate. I just accept that some things I disagree with are not best described as "hate".

Why is it socially acceptable to joke about "girlie men" or to discriminate against us legally with "constitutional" amendments banning gay marriage?

Don't juxtapose unrelated items. Jokes about "girlie men" are fine and have nothing to do with being gay. And I don't support those constitutional amendments. Rather I support Mark Leno's efforts. Does that make me a "hater"?

Because we cannot marry, ...

You said you didn't want to marry.

... we can pass on only a fraction of our estates,

... Get your facts straight, man.

...we do not have equal parenting rights...

Jeez. Even a leftist should be able to pull this one apart.

and we cannot live with a foreigner we love who does not have government permission to stay in this country.

Um, you can't live with any foreigner who doesn't have government permission to stay in this country.

These are the equal protections that the Bill of Rights proclaims for all?

Uh, no, that wouldn't be the Bill of Rights. It would be the 14th Amendment. And like it or not, it doesn't always apply to what you want.

Why do you hate us so much that you will not permit us to legally love?

Who's stopping you from "legally loving"? The only thing that you're stopped from is marrying. And you don't want that, remember?

I am almost 72, and I have been hated all my life, and I don't see much change coming.

Then, you're a dumbass. Homosexuality went from being illegal in (probably) every jurisdiction in this country, to having those laws overturned and having some form of civil unions recognized in several states, in barely more than three decades. Younger people are more inclined to support gay marriage than older people, and they will be moving into positions of power in the near future.

And yet you "don't see much change coming". That's pretty sad.

I think your hate is evil.

I seem to remember hearing this sentiment, expressed in pretty much the same words, in third grade.

What do we do to you that is so awful?

Let me count the ways:

You whine like a baby instead of recognizing true progress and working for more.

You wring your hands over gay-bashing but you won't defend yourself, and your political organizations approve of efforts to disarm all of us.

You align yourselves with a political party that seems to have a strange, schizoid obsession with homosexuality. And I don't mean in a good way.

You and your leftist friends seem to like to align yourselves with the Islamofascists that hate this country as much as you seem to. And who, BTW, hate gays.

In fact, the entire political agenda of too many of your organizations seem to be little more than a regurgitation of the lunatic left, and have done gays a grave disservice. If you want groups that would serve you better, you might take a look at these guys. Not to mention these guys.

Why do you feel compelled to come after us with such frightful energy?

"Frightful energy"? I'm way too tired and overworked to give a rat's patoot.

Does this somehow make you feel safer and legitimate?

No. I feel safer knowing that I can protect myself and my family from criminals. I feel less safe knowing that you and your leftist friends are trying to take away my right to do that.

What possible harm comes to you if we marry, or are taxed just like you, or are protected from assault by laws that say it is morally wrong to assault people out of hatred?

Once again speaking truth to dolts...

1) Somewhere around 40% of straights favor gay marriage

2) You are taxed exactly the same, except for the deferral of estate taxes (and the marriage penalty, which I think you should have to pay too)

3) You are already legally protected from assault as much as anyone else. But I find it weird to consider it "morally wrong" to be assaulted out of hatred, rather than to be assaulted out of...er...anything else.

The reasons always offered are religious ones, but certainly they are not based on the love all religions proclaim.

Well, some religions. Some others make no pretense at all, but you and your lefty friends keep making excuses for them.

And even if your objections to gays are religious, why do you have to legislate them so hatefully?

WTF?

Make no mistake: Forbidding gay people to love or marry is based on hate, pure and simple.

Uh, no. Ignorance, maybe. Excessive adherence to traditionalism, maybe. But "hate"? No, you need to produce a little more evidence for that, man.

You may say you don't hate us, but the people you vote for do, so what's the difference?

I didn't vote for anyone who hates gays.

Our own country's democratic process declares us to be unequal.

Than perhaps you should work a little harder at effecting change, instead of the foolish, counterproductive, and potentially dangerous antics ACT UP is famous for.

Which means, in a democracy, that our enemy is you.

So people like me who support gay marriage are your enemy because we are outvoted?

You treat us like crumbs. You hate us. And sadly, we let you.

Oh, so you admit that it's your fault.

Snark aside, if you don't like it here because gays can't get married you can always try another country, like France. Or maybe you could recognize the rather telling fact that in this country we debate whether gays should be allowed to marry; in some others, they debate the proper method of execution.

And seriously, dude, check out these guys. Because armed gays don't get bashed.

Headline writers - feh

I'm still disappointed that no one has yet gotten the reference in the category so I'm using it a little more loosely to include the headline writers, and even the reporter, of this story (registration probably required), though other categories might be more appropriate.

Protester of group home is targeted
A Norco woman upset over disabled neighbors faces a state and federal investigation for alleged housing discrimination

State and federal authorities have opened an investigation into a Norco housewife, alleging that her vitriolic protests against a high-risk group home in her neighborhood may constitute housing discrimination.

The inquiry makes the actions of Julie Waltz, 61, the first test of a controversial new tactic by advocates for the developmentally disabled to stop protesters from trying to drive group homes from neighborhoods throughout the state.

Well, two things occurred to me on reading that. (1) Why would anyone be so uncharitable as to "vitriolically" oppose a home for developmentally disabled people? (2) But an investigation? That seems a bit overreactive (especially since, later, we find out that the woman's conduct seems to consist primarily of placing signs in her yard).

But of course, reading further into the story:

The tempest in Norco began in 2005 after the home next to Waltz on Broken Arrow Street was sold. She said she learned from public records that it was to be a group home for "fire-setting," "sexually inappropriate" and "physically aggressive" people.

Boy howdy, that's just who I want moving in next door.

Over Waltz's objections, the home received state funds to open in 2005. Waltz said that when her new neighbors arrived, they hurled rocks and obscenities at her. She and some neighbors then placed signs in their yards urging the group home to "get out" and warned neighbors that "your wife and kids are potential rape victims" — driving the residents inside to tears, according to their advocates.

Well, I'm not forming an opinion on the situation itself because I'm sure there's more to it than just what's in the story. But it would be helpful if the reporters and headline writers paid a little more attention and put more pertinant information higher in the story, because from where I sit "developmentally disabled" does not in any way connote "fire-setting", "sexually inappropriate", or "physically aggressive".

Weird story

Um, huh (registration probably required):

Driving a hard bargain -- with a sledgehammer?
By Art Campos - Bee Staff Writer
Last Updated 1:17 am PDT Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The concept of hammering out a good deal on a car took on a whole new meaning this weekend in Roseville.

After a salesman at Roseville Lincoln Mercury turned down his offer, a man identified as Pete Bo Sizelove, 30, of Sacramento reportedly put on a sheathed Samurai sword and tried to pound out his deal -- with a sledgehammer.

[...]

[T]he sales manager, said Sizelove drove to the Douglas Boulevard car lot about 1 p.m. Saturday to make his offers, which included offering an IOU for $13,000 and asking $7,000 for his 1990 Honda CRX. Carpio said the customer's car wasn't worth it.

"It was a beat-up Honda with the bumpers hanging off, and the paint was faded," he said.

When rebuffed, Sizelove, described as calm, returned to his car, pulled out the sword, the sledgehammer and a large pry bar ... climbed atop the Chrysler and was poised to do damage when a police officer arrived, pointed a gun and told him to freeze, Carpio said.

Tres weird.

Goldwater

In ranting about the ridiculous revisionist history about the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy, I had completely forgotten this part:

"Gays in the military" became a political issue during the 1992 Presidential campaign, when Clinton, the Democratic candidate, promised to lift the military's ban on gays.

Congressional opposition to lifting the ban on gays in the armed forces was led by Democrat Senator Sam Nunn of Georgia ... Congressional support for reform was led by Democrat Congressmen Barney Frank of Massachusetts, who fought for a compromise, and retired Republican Senator Barry Goldwater, who argued for a complete repeal of the ban.

Yay Barry! Out-progressiving even Barney Frank.

The more I know about Goldwater, the more I like him. Too bad that snake Johnson successfully painted him as hopelessly reactionary in '64.

I would remind you that extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice! And let me remind you also that moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.

- Barry Goldwater, acceptance speech as Republican candidate for President, 1963

Happy Saint Patty's Day!

Pop open a Guinness when you get the chance.

Those dopey SacBee high schoolers are at it again

Breaking News Alert: Air is toxic, officials warn

Now, this one is actually legitimate, but you have to read the story to find that out. A railroad trestle has been burning and spewing toxic funes in its vicinity since late yesterday, and it is advised that vulnerable people (young, old, those with respiratory illness, the usual) take precautions.

But come on. Do these people at the Bee have any grasp of the fundamentals of communication?

By the way, you may notice I added a new category because these alerts didn't seem to fit quite well enough into "Drinking the Stupid Juice". 100 points to anyone who identifies the reference.

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

A while back, the Nightfly feller composed a tribute to our end-of-the-week hobby. If we ever manage to work out how to record this stuff on the web with FFOT virtuoso Val, maybe someone out there can set it to music.

It's below the jump. Thanks, NF. Nobody's ever written me a song before! As for my fuck off this week, it's directed at anyone who is under the very fucking mistaken impression that owning high-end luxury automobiles not only entitles them to drive like an asshole, but also to act like an asshole in general. Dude, having a lot of money to burn on a car is not a mark of character. It does not define you as a superior human being. It's one thing to enjoy riding in a fine automobile, it's another thing to think I'm desperate to blow you because you drive a German car. Grow the fuck up and try and find some inner solace that's deeper than a goddamm puddle.

Mother doesn’t go out anymore
Just stays at home and trolls her favorite blogs
On culture, politics, and war
She has a message for the world at large

If you wanna bitch ‘bout the Clams and enablers
If you wanna know what they ban in France
If you wanna gripe about lousy drivers
You can do it in the Friday Flip Off

Em’ly’s typing up the latest screed
Why should she hold back when the world is dumb?
So many people feel the need
They’ll get their chance when Friday comes

If you wanna hear about corrupt politicians
If you wanna howl about their stupid laws
Wonder what the deal is with Lohan and Hilton?
Read about it in the Friday Flip Off

(Friday Flip Off!)
Jerks and jokers!
(Friday Flip Off!)
Sots and knaves!
(Friday Flip Off!)
Brainless sales clerks!
(Friday Flip Off!)
Rant and rave!

Val is heading that way now, I guess
He just wrote something made my face turn blue
Got nothing against the mainstream press
It might be funny if it was not true

If you wanna drop about a dozen f-bombs
If you wanna scream about dolts and toffs
If you want it done to them with knobs on
You can say it in the Friday Flip Off
Talk about it in the Friday Flip Off

(Friday Flip Off!)
Spoiled rich kids!
(Friday Flip Off!)
Scams and lies!
(Friday Flip Off!)
Crooks and posers!
(Friday Flip Off!)
Sod off and die!

Interesting idea

My little bro forwarded one of those internet memes that tend to take on a life of their own. Normally I just forward if amusing, ignore if not amusing, but this one actually has potential.

The idea is, like the idea that 911 is THE emergency number in the entire country, to program one emergency number in your cell phone under a universally recognized name, in this case, "ICE" for "In Case of Emergency". Not, perhaps, the particular acronym I would have chosen - I would have picked just "A" to be the first in the list - but still, it's a good idea if "ICE" is widely known. The number should be the one person who should be called if something happens to you; the one who knows the right people to contact among your family and friends.

Anyhoo, it's possible that it's one of those goofy fake memes but I think it's a good idea if enough people do it with the same acronym (assuming it's known by the emergency personnel) so I'm passing it along. The text of the forwarded email is below the fold. I should mention also that the little bro is a firefighter (actually, an engineer now) who is trained in standard urban firefighter emergency response, so he knows the drill in emergency situations.

"ICE" in your CELL PHONE

Reminder to store "ICE" in your cell phone

A recent article from the Toronto Star, "the ICE idea", is catching on and it is a very simple, yet important method of contact for you or a loved one in case of an emergency. As cell phones are carried by the majority of the population, all you need to do is program the number of a contact person or persons and store the name as "ICE".

The idea was thought up by a paramedic who found that when they went to the scenes of accidents, there were always Mobile phones with patients, but they didn't know which numbers to call. He therefore thought that it would be a good idea if there was a nationally recognized name to file "next of kin" under.

Following a disaster in London The East Anglian Ambulance Service has launched a national "In case of Emergency (ICE)" campaign. The idea is that you store the word "ICE " in your mobile phone address book, and with it enter the number of the person you would want to be contacted "In Case of Emergency ". In an emergency situation, Emergency Services personnel and hospital staff would then be able to quickly contact your next of kin, by simply dialing the number programmed under "ICE". Please forward this. It won't take too many "forwards" before everybody will know about this. It really could save your life, or put a loved one's mind at rest.

For more than one contact name simply enter ICE1, ICE2, ICE3 etc.

A great idea that could make a difference

What's up with this?

Jeez. Is the Sackatomatas Bee now hiring high school kids? And feeding them dope? After this and this, now I got two today. One was that the dopey woman who drove her kid to an afterschool fight won't be charged. Okay, marginal, certainly not urgent breaking news.

Then just now I get this one:

Breaking News Alert: Slowdown in home sales continues

Jeebus wept.

Revisionist history

WTF is up with people? Has everyone completely forgotten their history? Their recent history? As in, less than 20 years ago?

The reason I ask is because I keep seeing these really dopey comments and commentary about the (apparently infamous) Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy. This one is only the latest (registration probably required, go here if necessary):

The immorality of 'don't ask, don't tell'
A general's disparagement of gays runs counter to public good and the evidence.

WHEN MARINE Gen. Peter Pace said this week that he opposed letting gays serve openly in the military because homosexuality is "immoral," he raised important questions about the role of individual moral codes in shaping broad social policy. But even more elementary is the question of what "morality" actually is.

[...]

Pace later indicated that he should have kept his personal beliefs separate from his support of the "don't ask, don't tell" policy, but the fact is that the policy is intimately bound up with the personal, moral beliefs of the political and military leaders who created it. That's because it is based on the assumption that service members, like Pace himself, find homosexuality so morally objectionable that they would not want to serve with gays and that cohesion would suffer as a result of accepting gays.

Jeez. Does this guy not remember the policy it replaced? Does he not remember that the military brass did NOT support this policy?

It is not based on the assumption that service members find it so morally objectionable that they would not want to serve with gays. The previous policy was. The DADT policy is based on the assumption that it's nobody else's business and if you don't go talking about it, they won't go hunting you down. It's still not the policy I would consider correct, but if you're going to claim the policy is immoral, at the very least you have an obligation to pay lip service to what it replaced.

On the up side, at least this guy, unlike some others, didn't try to blame the policy on ChimpyMcHitlerBushiburton.

Amusing: After I hit the post button on this, I scrolled down beyond the text of the article and saw these ad:

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US Military Headlines
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Quote of the day

Actually a quote from sometime back, but that's all I got tonight.

Good thing the First Amendment is followed closely by the Second

Indeed.

Kiss my ass, he explained

Okay, I'm all in favor of religious freedom. As the man says, tolerance is a two-way street.

If you are a devout Christian who has issues with pornography, you don't take a job in a dirty book store. If you take the job, you do the job and don't complain.

If you are an observant Jew who has a problem with pork, you don't take a job in a butcher shop that sells pork. If you take the job, you do the job and don't complain.

If you are a pacifist who has issues with weapons, you don't take a job in a gun shop. If you take the job, you do the job and don't complain.

And if you are a fundie Moslem who has issues with certain foodstuffs, you don't take a job in a market that sells said foodstuffs. If you take the job, you DO THE DAMNED JOB and don't complain.

'Tis a good day indeed

And by the way, just so you can make plans for tonight, today is Steak and Blowjob Day.

Also, it's PI day, for you math geeks.

And tomorrow is International Eat an Animal for PETA Day. Break out the barbecues, boys and girls.

Deb calls bullshit

Hahahahaha!

UPDATE: Since we're already laughing, I might as well link to this most excellent picture (via rightwingprof)

For those of you who didn't know, the origin of this particular idea was at UC Santa Cruz back in the lat 80s.

I wonder if Bill Clinton knew about this

How to buy Cheating Offsets. Via Alex in the comments here.

Fucking outrageous

Burn in Hell, CHRISTIAN J TREJBAL, xxx xxxxxx xx, CHRISTIANSBURG, VA 24073. If any one of those people you "outed" is injured or killed because of this, I hope they or their families make you pay. Bigtime. You fucking pussy.

Bleg

Does anyone have a link to a detailed discussion of United States vs. Miller (1939)? I have briefly searched several likely sites (Volokh, Clayton Cramer, David Kopel) but haven't found more than very short discussions. I've read the decision and my take on it is below the fold, but I'd like to find more authoritative and detailed treatment. Please drop a comment or a line if you've seen one.

Since the Parker decision came down last week, I am again seeing many ignorant comments about Miller. Without trying to track the comments down again (they appeared in several discussions), these commenters claim that Miller held that the Second Amendment is a "collective" right to bear arms and guaranteed only the "right" of states to have militias or, at most, guaranteed a right to bear arms only for actual militia members.

It did no such thing. Miller held that:

In the absence of any evidence tending to show that possession or use of a "shotgun having a barrel of less than eighteen inches in length" at this time has some reasonable relationship to the preservation or efficiency of a well regulated militia, we cannot say that the Second Amendment guarantees the right to keep and bear such an instrument.

It should be noted that Miller's side did not show up, which explains the "absence of any evidence".

As far as I can recall without rereading it again, Miller does not even seem to require that a person have a direct connection with a militia, only that the weapon itself must have a "reasonable relationship" to the militia, i.e., that it be a valid military weapon. "Assault rifles" would qualify as valid, rather obviously (in fact, isn't it that "scary army gun" attribute that makes the GFWs want to ban them?) And it would have been interesting if, rather than a sawn-off shotgun, Miller had been arrested with a machine gun. I don't think anyone can argue with a straight face that a machine gun or submachine gun bears no "reasonable relationship" to a militia.

Beyond that, had Miller shown up in court it would have been pretty easy to provide the necessary evidence that his shotgun was a valid militia weapon. They were used in the trenches in WWI, barely twenty years before Miller was decided.

So no, Miller was not a decision on the collective right theory, nor did it deny the individual right theory (in fact, the case included numerous citations to commentators which espoused the individual right theory). If you have any more info you can send along on this case, please do.

Oh. My. God.

Like waving a cape in front of a bull for a twisted sort like me. Especially since we've had so much fun with it before.

Bet on for fate of Heather Mills' leg on dance show
Mon Mar 12, 3:22 PM ET

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - An online gambling site is taking bets on whether Heather Mills' artificial leg will fall off during her upcoming appearance on "Dancing with the Stars." ... She is the first contestant on the hit ABC television show to compete with an artificial limb.

A week before Mills' March 19 debut, Antigua-based gaming site http://www.bodog.com opened bets on whether her prosthetic leg would fly off during a dance routine -- and made "no" a heavy favorite.

The site added that Mills' leg "must fall off, not be purposely taken off, during a dance routine for all Yes wagers to be graded a win."

Stop me before I type something I will regret.

Pettiness

How petty can one legislative "leader" get?

Perata puts power move on straying colleagues
By Steven Harmon
MEDIANEWS SACRAMENTO BUREAU

SACRAMENTO - Senate President Pro Tem Don Perata flashed a show of power Monday by locking three moderate Democratic senators out of their offices after they attended a fundraiser last week.

The Oakland Democrat apparently was irked that Southern California Sens. Ron Calderon, Gloria Negrete-McLeod and Lou Correa attended a dinner in Sacramento held by pro-business Assembly Democrats who call themselves the "Mod Squad."

Senate Democrats have an unwritten rule forbidding members from joining caucuses except those reflecting gender, geography or ethnicity -- such as the Latino or rural caucuses -- mostly as a way to keep lawmakers from forming voting blocs that could hinder the party's agenda.

Christ, I can't wait until this bastard gets termed out.

Followup

Following up on this post, I saw over the weekend that the jury found in favor of the plaintiff on the allegations of retaliation, but not for disability discrimination. I didn't get a chance to post about it, but on its face that sounds reasonable, especially in light of some additional information.

Over the weekend, we were contacted by Chris Storm's attorney, Gay Carroll. She kindly provided additional information and comments about the case not included in the original news story. She also attached copies of some of the filings and additional information on psychiatric services and service dogs. Anyone who wants to see these, please email and I will be happy to forward them.

Additional context provided by Ms. Carroll (and yes, I realize she is the plaintiff's advocate):

The new Executive Director allowed Ms. Storm to continue bringing the dog to work for seven months before changing the office rules. After Ms. Storm filed a request for reasonable accommodation, the ED, Meghan Stanton, solicited complaints about unsanitary conditions from the dog. These complaints were rebutted in court testimony and the jury agreed that they were groundless. No complaints had been made before the request for accommodation, and based on this and other testimony the jury held that Ms. Stanton's conduct was retaliation for the accommodation request and the grievance filed afterward.

The jury rejected the claim (which sounded suspect even in the original story) that the Fiscal Director's position was to be eliminated. Ms. Carroll noted that the money saved by firing Ms. Storm "went to increase salaries – including the salary of Meghan Stanton."

In her email, Ms. Carroll went on to point out the large number of people who are on various drugs for depression and related disorders, including self-medication with alcohol and OTC drugs. Alternatives to drug use are indeed welcome and, if I didn't make it clear in my previous post, I agree that, as Ms. Carroll put it, "I would rather have a four-pound bundle of love sitting in my lap than a martini and a Valium pill in each hand" for treatment of depression.

Still (and this is in no way to be construed as a comment on Ms. Storm's condition), maybe I've become jaded over the years but I'm dubious about it as a basis for disability claims. We've become too used to considering life a "treatable" illness. We over-diagnose ADHD and prescribe Ritalin to keep active schoolkids quiet, instead of disciplining and teaching appropriate behavior and reserving treatment for real cases. We over-prescribe antidepressants for people who don't really need them. We fall too easily into victim mode, considering anything that doesn't make us happy an "illness" and any illness a "disability". And don't get me started on the slew of brand new "addictions" we seem to discover every year.

Somewhere, you have to draw that darned old line between normal life and true illness. And no, I can't tell you exactly where.

Quote of the Day

[UPDATE and bump: Thanks Alan! See end of post]

Actually an old one but I just came across it because the Morning Show was discussing the Fred Thompson rumors and his (apparently rather enigmatic) non-denial of those rumors.

After two years in Washington, I often long for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood.

Heh.

Awesome facts about Fred Thompson:

* Fred Thompson has blasted more people in the face with a shotgun than even Dick Cheney.

* Not only does Fred Thompson cut taxes, he cuts tax collectors.

* Though Fred Thompson left the Senate in 2003, Harry Reid still hasn't stopped wetting his pants.

* Fred Thompson once ended a filibuster by ripping out a Senator's heart and showing it to him before he died.

* When terrorists get to the afterlife, they'll find that none of their seventy-two women are still virgins. Why? Because of Fred Thompson.

Leftard retoids

Way too tired to deal with it properly (and if I weren't so tired, I'd be working on a different, overdue post - I promised Ms. Carroll but it just isn't going to happen tonight) but I just couldn't let this tiny bit of stupidity pass [eighteenth comment, if I counted correctly, by one muirgeo]:

I can't remember the last time we were invaded by a Muslim country. But if they ever do.....then I'll be all behind Three Hundreding them.

Commenters have already pointed out that, rather obviously, 9/11 was an invasion (and muirgeo points out, correctly,"Well if 9-11 was an invasion by a Muslim country shouldn't we have 300'd Saudi Arabia?" - yeah, we should have). And they pointed out the various American embassies attacked, which are American soil by international treaty and custom.

Well, there are a lot of comments there that I haven't read yet so maybe someone else has already pointed this out, but if the WTC/Pentagon attacks are not included, the United States has not been seriously invaded by another country in nearly 200 years.

Pearl Harbor was attacked, but the Japanese did not attempt to occupy it. They occupied one or two Aleutian islands and some U.S. dependencies and possessions. I suppose that could count but it's not what usually comes to mind when you think "invasion".

Mexico invaded. Sort of. Well, it was actually a Mexican bandit, not the country, that invaded.

You have to go all the way back to the War of 1812 for a serious invasion of the United States proper. I suppose some may quibble about details and I'm not going to argue the points because it's actually pretty much irrelevant to my point.

No matter how "invasion" is defined, there is one country missing from this list. You know the one, routinely invoked by leftards in their denunciations of all thing Republican. One that never even attacked us, though we went ahead and killed lots of its people in 1917-1918 and again in 1942-1945.

By the criteria laid down by the modern lefties, there was no reason whatsoever for us to attack this country. Oh sure, it killed lots of its own people. And other people. But not Americans. Yet its name, or rather, that of only one of its many leaders over the years, is routinely used by the lefties.

Gosh, what was that country again?

Original link to Ace via Andrea on a completely unrelated subject.

A moment of silence

Publicola notes the passing of Jean Kennedy Schmidt, one of the Angels of Bataan.

Via Publicola, filling in for Bitter. How Zen is that?

Expect broomsticks to now be banned in Britain

Following up on Bitter's post about the retired Leicestershire police inspector charged with "possessing a knife in public without good reason", my lovely friend Julie sends along this story:

Police: Resident Beats Intruders With Broom

HOUSTON -- A father turned the tables on a man who police said broke into his north Houston apartment early Friday, KPRC Local 2 reported.

Houston police said two men broke into a unit at the Northpoint Apartments ... A father, mother and three children were sleeping inside the apartment.

Investigators said the men rummaged through the apartment before opening a bedroom door.

The father beat the intruders with a broomstick to protect his family, detectives said.

When broomsticks are outlawed, only outlaws will have broomsticks.

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

UPDATE: Uh, wow. So Val shows up and allasudden talk turns to small peckers. Then when I finally get home and crack open a Nectar of the Gods, I start clicking around to places I haven't had time to look at yet this week and see this.

Her Ladyship is extra busy today so I'm hosting the Friday Fuck Off Thread today. I have two particular Fuck Offs today:

Continuing from last week's FFOT and last night's rant against the fuckulatorynannystatepecksniffianbusybodydembulbs, my first Fuck Off goes to the pinheaded twatwaffles in Congress who so stupidly decided to move the start date of Daylight Savings Time. I hate to keep harping on this but I estimate it has cost my company at least $10,000 in lost productivity, and the losses continue because we are still experiencing some issues with communication between servers, computers, and telecommunications systems. All this for potential energy savings measure meaningfully only in yoctoergs. It takes a yottadamn gall to force this kind of bullshit on us for no better purpose than to make retarded Congresscritters feel good about themselves. So a great big YOTTAFUCK OFF to said Congressional assburgers. With knobular encrustation.

My second Fuck Off is for the "antiwar" assbags and vaginaclots running the crosses "memorial" in Lafayette. They have every right to protest the war and the crosses are on private property. But they have NO FUCKING RIGHT to appropriate the names of the dead without permission from their families, particularly those families who support the troops in their mission.

Scott Conover of Tracy was interviewed on KSFO this morning. He removed the name of his son Brandon from one of the crosses yesterday, as noted in the linked story.

"Using our son's name is disgusting," said Tracy resident Scott Conover, whose son Brandon died in Iraq in January 2006.

Another mother made her views known also:

[Sherry] Perussina, whose 21-year-old son spent a year in Iraq and is expected to be deployed again, said of the crosses, "This to me is the worst thing I've ever seen. It's shameless. It's bigotry. Stealing identities to make their political statement is shameless."

Quite so. Have your marches and "memorials" and "vigils" and whatnot, but don't steal the names of the dead whose families don't support you.

Okay, boys and girls, we're in need of more fuckulating neologisms. The floor is open.

One more last post

But only because I could hear the television while composing that last post, and that only because it simply remained on the same channel after the Sainted Bride finished watching "American Idol".

Apparently, I am smarter than a fifth grader. That's good to know.

One last post

Before I crash from an incredibly long day, not even counting commute time, plus a couple bottles of the Nectar of the Gods.

Do NOT click here. I mean it. Again, just like last time, I MEAN IT! Don't give me any shit about it if you click on it. You hear me, Bingley?

Are you gonna freakin' LISTEN this time????????

Fun with trolls

As Caltechbabe notes in the comments here, Citizen Smash attracted one Jalal. The kindly Mr. Smash sets him straight and awaits a response.

The Nanny State strikes again

The Dembulbs in the California legislature are at it again (registration required; you can get a login at bugmenot.com):

Big mother is watching with new laws in mind
Democratic proposals to regulate behavior draw Republican scorn.

And well they should.

SACRAMENTO -- Enjoy fast food? Like to light up while you watch the waves? Forget to sock away money for your kids' education?

Some California lawmakers want to change your ways. They've planted a crop of proposals this year — "nanny" bills, as they're called — that would:

Get ready for it, boys and girls. Some we've seen before, some are all new ways control the minutiae of our lives.

• Restrict the use of artery-clogging trans fat, common in fried and baked foods and linked to heart disease, in restaurants and school cafeterias.

Great. Taking a page out of New York's playbook.

• Bar smoking at state parks and beaches, and in cars carrying children.

Also taking their cue from other progressive, forward-thinking states because...

...it's illegal to smoke in a car with children in Louisiana and Arkansas

Who know Louisiana and Arkansas were role models for leftist Democrats?

• Open a savings account, seeded with $500, for every newborn Californian to use at 18 for college, a first home purchase or an investment for retirement.

And why not? It's only my tax money. It's not like I have any use for it beyond giving it to other people's children to use at (probably) tax-subsidized colleges, to buy houses, and to fund their retirement.

Which is totally fucked because not only do I get to pay the retirements of generations before me, now I get to pay for the ones after me too.

• Fine dog and cat owners who don't spay or neuter their pets by 4 months of age.

No matter how responsible they might be?

• Require chain restaurants to list calorie, saturated fat and sodium content on menus.

Which people will, no doubt, read as closely as they read the ubiquitous Prop. 65 warnings all over everywhere.

• Phase out the sale of incandescent light bulbs, which are less energy-efficient than compact fluorescent bulbs.

Subject of an extended rant I've been wanting to write but haven't had time for.

Suffice to say that typical legislative attempts to save energy are typically as effective the this year's change in the start of Daylight Savings Time, which I estimate to have cost my company at least $10,000 in IT time and lost productivity.

And once again, will someone please explain to me why it's illegal to club politicians with a baseball bat?

Can we question their patriotism yet?

"bring some paint so we can spray the wall." Via Andrea.

Fer chrissake, when can we start the killin'?

I'm thinking of getting a "comfort sidearm"

Because when my sidearm is in my lap, I am able to stroke it and grow calm.

Comfort dog has day in court

Anxious woman may break legal ground with suit over right to bring animal to work.

In recent weeks Chris Storm, a petite 60-year-old woman in a neat suit, has sat quietly next to her lawyer in a Sacramento courtroom.

And all that time, Storm's dog, Lacey, a tiny white Maltese, has sat quietly in her lap, hardly moving through the long days of trial.

The little dog is at the center of a potentially groundbreaking case involving the rights of those suffering from disabilities to bring comfort dogs to work.

For more than eight years, Storm brought Lacey and her predecessor, LeT, also a Maltese, to a Sacramento mental health clinic where she was the fiscal director.

There is some potential here for some "ironical mockage" but I shall refrain.

Storm says she suffers from anxiety and depression, and the dogs calmed her and allowed her to do her job.

LeT died in 2002, devastating her, she said in court papers. Six months later she got Lacey. Her old boss allowed her to have the dogs in her office.

But in July 2003, new clinic director Meghan Stanton told Storm she could no longer have Lacey in the office, Storm said in the court filings.

Storm said she begged the clinic director to change her mind.

"It would be very difficult mentally and emotionally to function without her," Storm wrote in a memo to her boss.

She took medical leave, secured a note from a psychologist saying she needed Lacey, and had her dog certified by the city as a service animal.

The clinic director held her ground. A few weeks later when Storm returned to work with Lacey, Stanton fired her, Storm said.

Uh, company policy, state health laws and all that. I'm not unsympathetic to those debilitated by anxiety and such, but there's a limit to how much it can be inflicted on others.

Storm claims in her lawsuit that the clinic failed to provide her reasonable accommodation for her disability, and discriminated and retaliated against her in violation of the state's Fair Employment and Housing Act.

I'm not closely familiar with it but I'm sure it's far more broadly drawn than the Federal rules.

A few interesting points, though:

But clinic attorney Timothy Blaine said in court papers that Storm's claims are unfounded. Her job was eliminated to save money and her work outsourced, clinic officials argued.

Yeah, I'd expect them to say that. It might even be true, but:

Storm, the defense lawyers argued, was perfectly capable of doing her job in the six months between when LeT died and she started bringing Lacey to work.

And:

Witnesses, including Stanton, have testified that there were complaints about Storm's dogs urinating and defecating in her office.

Allowing Storm to continue bringing her dog to work was unsanitary and might have caused trouble with county authorities, the clinic's lawyers wrote in a court brief.

If this suit succeeds, I can't wait for some food service worker to do the same.

Cases over comfort animals aren't new. A state appeals court in 2004 upheld the right of an elderly couple to keep Pooky, a small terrier, to help with their depression even though their homeowners association forbid dogs in their Auburn condominium.

The Sacramento-based 3rd District Court of Appeal wrote that in disability cases, "allowing a pet despite a no-pets policy may constitute a reasonable accommodation."

Well, that's in one's own home, not on someone else's turf.

Storm's lawyer, Gay Carroll, said her lawsuit is groundbreaking because it involves a pet brought to work to help with depression.

Carroll insisted that the appeal court's ruling in the housing case can be applied in Storm's lawsuit.

That's a stretch. There's a big difference between one's own home and one's workplace.

"It was the innate qualities of a dog, in particular a dog's friendliness and ability to interact with humans, that made it therapeutic here," she wrote of the Auburn case in a court filing.

Wait for some paranoid to use the same argument about that vicious pit bull that gives him comfort.

Getting Lacey into court was a major legal fight before the trial.

Storm wanted her dog with her, but the defense wanted the cute dog kept out so jurors wouldn't be prejudiced. Judge Steven Rodda compromised, allowing the dog but forbidding lawyers from making reference to its presence, the attorneys said.

And the last word goes to Storm:

"There are many times when I feel stress, tension, anxiety and anger welling inside me," she wrote in a court affidavit, "and when my service dog is in my lap, I am able to stroke the dog and grow calm."

Yeah, I feel the same way about a Colt 1911. There are probably some people who feel the same way about midget pr0n.

I have no issue with bringing a dog to work, provided it doesn't crap in my office. When we were in the earlier phases of business life, my company allowed it. But as the company grew, that really had to go away. Disappointing but understandable.

But as far as a "right" to do so? I think there's a real difference between a seeing-eye dog and a "comfort" dog.

Bingley's idol has departed

Ernest Gallo, 1909-2007

How low is this?

UC's first Nobel Prize stolen from display case

Someone has swiped UC Berkeley's first-ever Nobel Prize, an award made of 23-karat gold and worth $4,000.

The prize, awarded to the late physicist Ernest O. Lawrence for his invention of the cyclotron, had been in a publicly accessible, locked display case at the namesake Lawrence Hall of Science, located in the hills above the campus, university police said Monday.

The Nobel was also the first ever given to a professor at a public university, according to UC Berkeley.

Christ.

My guess is "whiny"

Via Instapundit:

Are baby boomers really in bad physical shape? Or are we just providing more evidence that we’re the Whiniest Generation?

You listening this time?

Do NOT click here. I don't want to hear any crap if you follow the link.

I mean it. Don't give me any shit about it. It's your own damn fault for not listening.

Still laughing

Via Zendo Deb: "How Gay is Top Gun?"

Breaking news

Well, not really, but for anyone with time to listen, Bob Owens of Confederate Yankee will be interviewed on KSFO radio in a couple of minutes (probably already on the air, in about five minutes as I listen to the 'net feed - that's about 6:20 PST). It will be repeated in four hours on the 'net feed.

Extreme Sports

Funny that I haven't seen evidence of this, since it's the new "Trendsport" in the U.S. Spiegel Online "reports" that the newest sport sweeping the U.S. is "hunting the homeless":

The latest installment is an article entitled: 'Brutal "Trendsport" in the USA: Teenagers Hunt the Homeless'. That's right folks: According to SPIEGEL ONLINE, it's the latest hip trend sweeping the United States. Young people can't get enough of this new sport: Everywhere you look, homeless people are being mercilessly beaten by roving bands of drunk and high teenagers. The bodies are piling up left and right and the hospitals are overflowing. Right.

To prove that brutalizing homeless people is in fact a new "Trendsport" in America, SPIEGEL ONLINE notes that, according to National Coalition of the Homeless, there were 122 attacks, 20 of them fatal, against homeless individuals last year in a nation of 300 million. This is presented as more evidence that America is the home of a brutal, heartless capitalism where rich, dope-smoking teenagers prey on the downtrodden and oppressed underclass.

Ray D. reams Spiegel a new one, and notes a fair prevalence of violence against the homeless, including at least 20 murders in 2000 alone, in Germany, which has somewhat fewer than 300 million people.

Carbon Offsets

So all this recent stuff about Al Gore's humumgoid carbon footprint and his "offsetting" "carbon credits" has given me an idea. Also, I stole the basic idea from Iowahawk, but I'm sure he won't notice seeing as how he's whacked out on that... whatever it is (a St. Bernard?) he's smoking.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, carbon offsets.

It seems that one can eat one's cake and have it too (yes, that's the correct formulation). One can brutally rape Gaia with a Gulfstream (or other) Earthfucker and simultaneously salve one's global warm-mongering conscience by paying someone to plant a tree. That someone might as well be me. Iowahawkthief is ripping off gullible, rich environuts to the tune of $9.95 per carbon-salve. Being a free-market capitalist, as soon as I read that I realized that I could undercut him by a pretty penny and still keep run an acceptable margin. So here's the deal:

I have personally raked up a large quantity of environmentally friendly acorns and other seed-type things from local trees. For the low, low, introductory price of only $9.94, I will personally plant one to offset your egregious carbon footprint. Now I don't know nuthin' 'bout calculatin' no carbon offsets, so I will leave it up to you to decide the proper number of acorns/other-seed-type-things that need to be planted to salve your aching conscience. I will trust you on that calculation, but I promise you this: for every $9.94 you send me, I will personally bury one acorn in my yard.

Even better, for those of you with especially aching consciences, you send me $9.94 and a self-addressed, stamped envelope (none of that phony $4.95 shipping/handling ripoff; the handling is free, my friends), I will mail you the acorn and you can plant it yourself! Talk about enviro-friendly conscience salving!

Is your conscience especially achy-breaky? My friends, I have an even better deal. I personally know people who own seed corn. For the low, low price of just $19.90 (undercutting that capitalist running lackey Iowahawk by a full nickel), these people will plant one of these seed corns, and raise it to full maturity. But wait! Not only that, they will sell the resulting corn, fair trade corn no less, at fair market values. This will have the added advantage of providing employment to some fraction of an undocumented worker. It's a win win win!

And by giving me this money, you will help to put Daughters One and Two through college, as well as calming my jangled nerves.

And believe me, it beats my first attempt at offsetting the gasoline usage of my daily commute by flattening a neighbor's tires each day.

I am so buying this book

Just learned via Andrea that it's available. I got such a big kick out of this one.

It's been a very productive day

And it's not over, it may get even more productive yet.

So far, by my count we have:

knobular encrustation
fuckulatory
fuckulating
assbag
assburger
twatwaffle
vaginaclot

And earlier in the week, we had "ophthomatopoeia".

Did I miss any?

This is indeed cool!

You go, Doc!

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

Sorry I'm late today. The reasons why can fuck off.

(Next week, Nightfly and Val...I promise)

Go ahead.

As if THS needed another reason to hate Krispy Kreme

Via Cullen. He didn't post it but check out his "man quiz". Anyway, see this video.

I may be sending Krispys to some gals I know...

This is pathetic

I received a SacBee "Breaking News" alert about this.

Jeez, people, you call yourselves Californians? I can generate a 4.2 falling out of bed.

Feckin' pansies.

I hear fatter wallets have the same effect

Jeff notes another case in which science confirms the bleeding obvious.

The researchers say the results may not be the same for humans so there's still hope for some of us.

Another giggle

Hehe.

They were all out of "Rob Me, Beat Me, Rape Me" stickers

Via Bitter.