Oh. my. god.

This is so wrong on so many levels.

A moment of silence, please

For one of the founders of KFAT radio:

KPIG's founder and program director, Laura Ellen Hopper, dies at 57
By Wallace Baine
Sentinel staff writer

ROYAL OAKS — Laura Ellen Hopper, the longtime program director and co-founder of KPIG 107.5 FM, died Monday from complications of lung cancer. She was 57.

Hopper of Royal Oaks was widely known to fans of KPIG as the mellow midday disc jockey who loved to champion emerging country/folk singer/songwriters, but she also was largely responsible for shaping both the sound and the public image of one of California's most idiosyncratic and beloved radio stations.

[...]

In 1975, Hopper originally helped found KFAT in Gilroy, a free-form country station notorious for its rejection of conservative radio conventions. After KFAT went off the air, she re-emerged with local attorney Leo Kesselman in 1988 to found KPIG in Watsonville, finally making a success of the station's renegade format in the 1990s.

Under Hopper's direction, KPIG married KFAT's pugnacious country/rock programming with a more savvy business plan. Eventually, the station became instrumental in establishing a new radio format, Americana, which emphasized artists who were often ignored by mainstream country radio, such as John Prine, Jerry Jeff Walker and Peter Rowan. In the 1990s, KPIG's prominence in the Americana genre gave it the power to provide career-making exposure to such performers as Robert Earl Keen, Todd Snider and Iris DeMent.

Rest in peace, Laura.

Why God invented nightsticks, Chapter MDLII

Because of crap like this:

Dozens of Flags Are Burned At Veterans' Graves in Wash.
Many Replaced by Hand-Drawn Swastikas
Associated Press
Tuesday, May 29, 2007; Page A04

ORCAS ISLAND, Wash., May 28 -- Vandals burned dozens of small American flags that decorated veterans' graves for Memorial Day and replaced many of them with hand-drawn swastikas, authorities said Monday.

Forty-six flag standards were found empty, and 33 more were in charred tatters Sunday in the cemetery, authorities said. Swastikas drawn on paper appeared where 14 of the flags had been.

Members of the American Legion on this island off Washington's northwest coast replaced the burned flags with new ones Sunday.

The vandals struck again on Memorial Day after a guard left at dawn, the San Juan County Sheriff's Office said. This time, the vandals left 33 of the hand-drawn swastikas.

I really have little problem with putting a beatdown on slugs like this.

And a question for John Edwards: Is this what you were talking about?

Light up the night. Get your friends and family together and organize a Memorial Day candlelight vigil to support our troops and end the war.

Candles, burning flags. What's the diff?

I'm shocked, shocked...

to learn there is gambling in Casablanca such a dearth of basic Rock 'n' Roll knowledge in this crew. You should be ashamed of yourselves, children.

On the question of the Fat Man (genuflect), the lovely and erudite Mumblix Grumph got the first two, but not the others.

Listen up and learn, children: I'm ready, willing, and able to ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT. That's right, kiddies, KISS didn't write that line.

For the other one, I'M GONNA BE A WHEEL SOMEDAY, then I won't want you.

All of you who didn't know that, go say 500,000 Hail Marys. NOW, KID!

All right, on to the next one that people didn't get: The lovely Laura got "Wake Up Little Susie" and the lovely Nightfly got "Darlin' Be Home Soon".

I will forgive y'all for not getting the first one but only because Little Richard mumbles the line. I'd swear he sings "you won't do your sister's will" but the consensus seems to be that the lyric is "daddy's will". And it's Lucille who won't do it.

For that last one, I'd have been amazed if ANYONE got it. Never heard it before. The answer is Bo Diddley, who is apparently the most narcissistic performer in the history of Rock 'n' Roll, having named at least two different songs for himself. As for that amusing commercial I promised, here it is for those of you who've never seen it. One of the most amusing commercials of all time, especially when the hockey player says "...no."

I'm not feeling creative

Despite my promises. Way too tired. But with a bit of prompting from Dave and a bit of inspiration from Alan, I'll give it a shot.

Sorry, Alan, couldn't find a picture of Jack Bauer:

Here is my main interest at this very moment:

And in case you're wondering:

Yeah, that about says it all.

It's all academic

Because the Dodgers win either way, it's just a matter of form what the official "scoring" winds up to be. The Pej Man will not be happy in any case.

So I was at work today. This was rather disappointing on many levels, not least of which was that the Dodgers were on TV, a rarity in this area of foul Satan-worshippers. I got a call from the Sainted Bride a little before three, asking me when I thought I would leave work and informing me that the game was in the 7th inning with no score. Having assumed I would have no chance to see any of the game, this gave me some heart.

I left about 3:20 and called home to let her know I was on my way. She told me the evil Chicago fiends had gone ahead 1-0. Irk. I knew I would miss the rest of the game, as it's more than 40 miles from work to home.

Well, long about the time I hit the onramp to 680 north, she called back to say the righteous Dodgers had tied the game on a solo home run by Andre Ethier. Hope rose that I might catch the end of the game. And I did. I arrived home as the bottom of the 10th inning started.

Nothing happened. Nothing good, anyway.

The 11th rolled around. The jokers from Shikaggy didn't score. Good news.

Bottom of the 11th. Martinez walked. Betemit walked. Silly announcer stated the obvious: "It shouldn't need to be said but you don't walk the first two batters."

Then Martinez got hung up between 2nd and 3rd, but the catcher threw behind him to 2nd and he ended up safe at 3rd. So Lou Pinella, looking like he'd swallowed a bottle of Drano, brought in a new pitcher. They walked Furcal intentionally to load the bases with nobody out.

Here's where the scoring ambiguousness comes in. Juan Pierre was up. The pitch hit the ground in front of the plate, then caromed off Pierre's knee. Martinez scored. So is it:

1. Wild pitch, one scored?

2. Passed ball, one scored?

3. Hit batsman, one scored?

It looks like they settled on hit batsman. In any case, my Bums took two out of three.

Funny

Okay, first I need to get these out of the way:

1. I have never seen the show.

2. I will, very likely, never see the show.

3. I can live with never seeing the show, because I have precious little free time, many thousand of hours already on tape I still need to watch, many thousands of movies I still need to rent/buy to watch, and did I mention precious little free time to watch anything?

But I still find this amusing.

Rock 'n Roll Trivia

So I just got back from my bike ride, on which I listened once more to my second-hand tracks. And, once more, I've come up with some Rock 'n Roll trivia to amuse and delight you. Unlike the radical un-delight I got when nobody was able to answer even the third gimme on the Great and Powerful Fats. I mean, c'mon people, I can understand why no one got the toughie, but no one, not even the lovely and omniscient Mumblix got that third gimme. Considering the category, I thought it was kind of a Zen question.

Be that as it may, here again are two gimmes and a tough one. And worse, after the tough one, a REAL tough mofo. Ten thousand LoCal MBP points, 100 times as much as I usually award, to anyone that gets it.

1. Who won't do her Daddy's will and come back where she belongs?

2. The movie wasn't so hot and didn't have much of a plot. Who should do what?

And the toughie (hint: it's not actually on this collection and dates from some time later but I thought of it while listening to the older material):

3. I couldn't bear to wait an extra minute, do darling do what?

And, as anticipated, here is the ballbuster; at least, I think it's a ball buster. It's the only song on the four-CD collection I had never before heard, though I've heard other material by the same artist (and many years later, this artist was in a very amusing commercial, which I will share after the current festivities are completed). And because I think it's a ballbuster, I will give you lots of material to work with:

4. Who has a farm on which there are some women? Women here, women there, women women women everywhere? One of them lived on a hill and rustled and tussled like Buffalo Bill, and one day went for a ride with a pistol and sword by her side.

Anyone who get this question has my eternal respect, undying gratitude, 10,000 LoCal MBP points, and nothing else.

HAHAHAHA!

Of course, this means I'll have to get all creative this weekend.

Amazing nature video

Yow. Via the Krautmeister.

Amen

I said, can I get an AMEN!

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

The Detroit Red Wings can fuck off.

Oh wait. They did. Never mind.

Otherwise, too disgustingly cheerful and happy to bother with anything else. If you're not, you know what to do.

Have a great long weekend.

On the radio this morning

At 6:30 Pacific, Gary Sinise

At 7:10, the Word Man

Also as promised...

Well, I didn't actually promise it to anybody. But it's still cool.

The lovely Kate mentioned that her evil, communist, nazi, fascist, totalitarian phone rang and she had to turn to sound down and only got to see, not hear, the Sainted Gladys Knight. I find this truly abominable so I had to search it down, and I knew the Youtubers wouldn't disappoint.

As Kate says, even with only one of the five senses being stimulated, "That's the way to do it, kids".

Enjoy, my dear lady (and the rest of you, including Cullen with the Daisy guitar)

One small point that made me happy about this particular segment of the show: the contestants alone sang "Heard it Through the Grapevine", not the Sainted Gladys herself. I like that because that is the one song I don't particularly like by the Sainted Gladys. Weirdly, it is also the only version of that song I don't particularly like. I blame the drugs, and we should all remember to forget that the Sainted Gladys ever sang it.

Rock 'n Roll Trivia (Fats Domino edition) (UPDATED)

UPDATE: Come ON, people! Cain't nobody get the other two????

As promised. And once again, two three (couldn't resist throwing in the extra one) gimmes and a tougher one. And no damned "Blueberry Hill". That's the one Fats Domino song I don't really like (probably not least because it's the most well-known and "Happy Days" really really REALLY overdid it).

1. This time I'm walkin' where? (And Ken adds: if you've been paying attention, you'll know that I've covered this ground before) (Answer: "New Orleans", from Mumblix Grumph)

2. If I got to work like a slave all day, what do I hate? (Answer: "Blue Monday", also from Mumblix Grumph)

3. I'm ready, willing, and able to do what? (Come ON, people!)

And the tough one:

4. I'm gonna be a real gone cat and I won't want you, so what will I be? (Ain't nobody gonna get this one)

My first and only "American Idol" post ever

Okay, I suppose that technically it's not my first one. Once again, I'm listening from the other room and I just have to say this:

Smokey Robinson still sounds good.

UPDATE: Fuuuuccccckkkkk. So does the Sainted Gladys Knight. Be still my heart.

Good

I hope they fry his lying ass.

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (Chuck Berry Edition)

Well, that last one was so popular that I thought I'd try it again. Once again, two gimmes and one I think may be a little tougher. Make that two gimmes, a possible gimme ("possible" because it's easy if you know the song but I don't know how well known the song is), and one tough one:

1. Who plays a guitar like ringing a bell? (Hint: It's not Cullen, he pways wike a widdle Daisy)

2. Who's rounding third and headed for home?

Possible gimme:

3. Who was it that you could tell that Pierre did truly love?

And the one I think is a little tougher:

4. If you're working at the filling station, with too many tasks, what are you finding too much of?

EASY BONUS question (not Chuck Berry, not even technically Rock 'n' Roll, but it popped into my beer-addled head anyway and it would make a good RnR song):

5. If you're popping little white pills and your eyes are open wide, what are you rolling down? Extra points if you name the singer.

And stay tuned, I've got Fats Domino in mind and may actually post it tonight. If not tonight then, um, sometime if I remember.

The Smell of Irony II

Actually, this one edges across that fine line between irony and chutzpah.

Edwards charges $55,000 to speak to UC Davis students about poverty

Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards, who as a Democratic presidential candidate recently proposed an educational policy that urged "every financial barrier" be removed for American kids who want to go to college, has been going to college himself -- as a high paid speaker, his financial records show.

The candidate charged a whopping $55,000 to speak at to a crowd of 1,787 the taxpayer-funded University of California at Davis on Jan. 9, 2006 last year, Joe Martin, the public relations officer for the campus' Mondavi Center confirmed Monday.

That amount -- which comes to about $31 a person in the audience -- included Edwards' travel and airfare, and was the highest speaking fee in the nine appearances he made before colleges and universities last year, according to his financial records.

Airfare? Isn't he a global warmmonger?

The earnings -- though made before Edwards was a declared Democratic presidential candidate -- could hand ammunition to his competition for the Democratic presidential nomination.

Ya think?

The candidate -- who was then the head of the Center on Poverty, Work and Opportunity at the University of North Carolina -- chose to speak on "Poverty, the great moral issue facing America," as his $55,000 topic at UC Davis.

I guess he's solved his own personal poverty issue.

That could cause both parents and students to note some irony here: UC Davis -- like the rest of the public University of California system -- will get hit this year by a 7 percent tuition increase that likely hits many of the kids his speeches are aimed at helping.

$55,000 to listen to a politician. No wonder they have to increase tuition.

We wondered if this is Edwards' going speaking rate, and how come he didn't offer to do it gratis for a college, particularly a public institution.

I wonder about that too. What say you, John?

He said UC Davis' Mondavi Center paid Edwards because at the time "he wasn't a (presidential) candidate and from our point of view, he was a speaker of interest that people in the community were clearly interested in ... we feel it's our mission to present those speakers."

Here's an interesting thought: Let the ones who are interested pay for it. There are far more than 1,787 students on campus, so it seems that a lot weren't interested. But their tuition is going up just the same.

In 2006, records show Edwards made more than $285,000 speaking to nine colleges and universities, charging between $16,000 and Davis' $55,000 for his talks. They ranged from the $12,000 he got on Jan. 10, 2006 from Gonzaga University Law School in Seattle to the $40,000 he banked from the University of Texas Pan American Foundation on May 22, 2006. Other schools that have paid Edwards to speak before he was a declared presidential candidate: Hunter College in New York ($35,000), Mount Union College in Ohio ($16,00) and Vanderbilt University in Nashville ($40,000).

Posted By: Carla Marinucci (Email) | May 21 2007 at 03:24 PM

Apologies for excerpting so much. It was just too delicious.

I love the smell of irony in the morning

I found this amusing.

Migden loses way to Marin, reaches for phone and crashes

State Sen. Carole Migden, D-San Francisco, accepted blame Friday for a minor car accident that occurred when she reached for her cell phone while driving through Solano County to Marin.

[...]

Migden last year voted for a new law that takes effect in July 2008 that will impose a minimum fine of $20 for anyone caught using a cell phone while driving without a headset, ear bud or other technology that frees both hands.

Chuckle. (Via KSFO)

Rock 'n' Roll trivia questions

So maybe I'm enjoying these secondhand tracks too much, but I still love 'em even if they aren't the original releases. Anyway, Brian's been really busy so there's not too much new in the way of Musical Geography Questions. To fill the gap, I give to you a few Rock 'n' Roll questions. A couple of gimmes and one I think is a little tougher.

1. Who out-bops the buzzard and the oriole? [Note: This has to be the dumbest great R'n'R song of all time]

2. Who walks in the classroom cool and slow? [GAWD I love these guys!]

3. I think this one's a toughie, so a little more detail: Who shot Billy with a .44, shot him so bad that the bullet went through Billy and broke the bartender's glass?

HAHAHAHA!

Silly dawg. He's so conflicted. Doesn't know whether to bark at the vacuum cleaner or the SB's hair dryer.

He just runs between both. Little goof.

I [heart] Juliette

I know I haven't linked her in a while, but I've been bad.

Link - Re: Bald headed kids

Link - Re: Jesse Macbeth

She's such a dear.

Shhhhhh!

Mum's the word!

Oh good grief

Here is what takes up a large portion of today's new bulletin from the Sackatomatoes Bee:

They changed boats, they rotated whale sounds, they adjusted volume. But after a day of trying Thursday, veterinarians and biologists were unable to entice a mother whale and her calf to leave the Port of Sacramento.
New Video: View the whales and the efforts to help them get back to the ocean.
Vote in our poll to name the whales
Fiction: Help us write a whale of a story
Interactive map of whales' journey

On the names, I wanted to vote for Tweedledum and Tweedledummer but those choices weren't listed:

Here are your choices:

1. The inspirational: Delta Dawn and Sunny, for both their motivation and destination.

For motivation and destination, "Suicide" and "Landfill" might be more appropriate.

2. The locational: Callie, short for California, and Poppy, for our state flower.

Maybe we should have a state cat food.

3. The pop cultural: Wanda and Willy, for the movies "A Fish Called Wanda" and "Free Willy."

"Dumb" and "Dumber"

4. The alliterational: George and Gracie, for not only their shared consonant, but after the two similarly imperiled humpbacks in "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home."

Since when are "George" and "Gracie" alliterative?

5. The navigational: Marco and Polo. 'Cause, well, duh.

For navigational, I should think that "Wrong Way Corrigan" is more appropriate.

Honorary mention goes to Moby Dick and Moby Jane and "This-A-Way" and "That-A-Way" for creativity. There's just no way we could fit them in a headline.

Okay, Moby Dick and Moby Jane is kind of amusing. Aside from that, I want to vomit.

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

Dear Apartment Building Manager,
I know tenants can be a pain in the ass sometimes. I'd like to help do my bit to make your job that much easier by being a courteous one, but for the sake of Jeebus, grow a pair already. Just because the two oversized black guys living in consecutive apartments to my east can't stop arguing over who's the worse asshole with the even more oversized car that they don't need but have anyway because it makes their penis feel bigger or whatever the reason idiots blow obscene amounts of money on automobiles doesn't mean I should be forced to accomodate them by moving my car flush against the divider. They have plenty of space between the two of them. They're both just jerks bickering over who's pissing on their fire hydrant. It's their beef. Not mine. Leave me out of it and stand up to the shitballs already.

Thanks. And have a nice weekend.

It's yours.

Ahead of the curve

Whelp whelp whelp

Look who finally caught up with us Pintsters.

Slackers.

Because he asked nicely

WHORE!

Screaming Memes (updated and spoiled)

So our resident papist Joel (yeah I didn't forget about you, Fly, but he's the one that tagged me) tagged me with another movie meme. This one's a little different from the previous ones::

Pick out your ten favorite movies, then look them up at IMDb. In the overview at the top of each movie's page, there are "Plot Keywords," usually five of them. (Plus more, if you click the link.) Take the first five, and post them. Then the rest of us get to play movie buff and see if we can guess them.

Joel added a little commentary to his, I might do that, we'll see how it develops. Also, they don't seem, for me at least, to be on the top of the page, but you can scroll down to "plot keywords"

These are not in a particular order, except in the order I thought of them. I originally thought I might pick five movies that people know well and five obscure ones, but it didn't turn out that way. Not exactly, anyway. Probably few will surprise anyone who has read my (very few) previous movie posts, and the most obvious one for me is not on the list because Joel used it as his number one. But with a couple of beers down and more to go before dinner, here is my meme:

1. Kidnapping / Suicide Attempt / Capital Punishment / Courtroom / Murder
(Hmm. This one could get really tough)

2. Torture / Treaty / Male Rape / Interrogation / Diplomacy
(Hmm. I did not expect to see "male rape", and the others don't seem to give much in the way of clues)

3. Army / Germany / North Africa Campaign / Stars And Stripes / Historical
(This one probably not so tough)

4. Gunfight / Homesteader / Rancher / Samurai / You Talkin To Me?
(Uh, "samurai"? "You talking to me"? It's neither Seven Samurai nor Taxi Driver, and I'm still trying to figure out where those came from)

5. Battle Scene / Period Piece / Corporal Punishment / Barefoot / Military
(Wow, not much help there I don't think)

6. Man Hunt / Bounty Hunter / Rat / Maverick / Amazing Grace Hymn
(I'm starting to think that people punch in random keywords in random order; I mean, those kinda fit, except for "Amazing Grace" - I may have to watch this again to see why)

7. Slit Throat / Confession / Tied Up / Appeal / Attempted Rape
(Man. Sounds like Saturday night internet surfin' when the wife's not home)

8. Middle Class / Humor / Husband Wife / Heist / Cynical
(Okay, finally a set that fits well. Too bad for you it's not very well known)

9. Scientist / Laser / Baby / Terminal Illness / Alien
(Could be tough)

10. Train Station / Con / Poker Player / Tough Guy / Caper
(Hmm. This one could be tough too)

Anyhoo, drop your guesses in the comments.

I suppose I'm required to tag people. Joel tagged ten people, so I'm tagging:

My lovely friend Julie
The lovely CalTechGirl
The lovely Bitter Bitch
The lovely Physics Geek
The lovely Dave E
The lovely Wunderkraut
The lovely Alan
The lovely Hoodlumman
The lovely Rob B.
The lovely, brilliant, and knocked up Tree Hugging Sister

UPDATE: I have a couple of minutes free, so here are the answers guessed so far:

2. Lawrence of Arabia - Guessed by Bill
3. Patton - Guessed by Rob B., Nightfly, and Angie
4. Shane - Guessed by Angie (Man, that "samurai" really threw people!)
5. Glory - Guessed by Nightfly
8. Fun with Dick and Jane - Guessed by Julie and wRitErsbLock (and hats off to you both!)
10. The Sting - Guessed by Bill and Nightfly

And I think I should perhaps go into hiding before THS buys the plane ticket...

Here are the ones no one guessed:

1. The Onion Field
6. True Grit - little surprised no one got this one
7. In Cold Blood
9. The Andromeda Strain - just a little surprised about this one too

Thank you all for playing and we have some lovely parting gifts for you...

I find it kind of funny that so many people who openly condemn Jerry Falwell for being hateful have plenty of their own to spare on his passing. I couldn't make serious time for the guy when he was living and have no praise for his memory here, but I guess I'm not quite comfortable with the idea of spitting on his corpse before the coroner has even determined the time of death. Malevolent condemnation and self-righteous judgement were his way. I try really hard not to make them mine. It's too easy, which is why I suspect Falwell was able to turn it into a career. He has, at the least, left us all an opportunity to learn a lesson or two about how dangerously simple it is to pervert the notions of forgiveness and grace into revolting prejudice. I hope the God Mr. Falwell so publicly revered offers him the reprieve he denied so many during his lifetime.

Cripes

I want this bastard dead. (Via Julie)

Kind hats and coronets

So KG kindly responded to the previous post with a kind of revival of his New Gentlemen's Guide. Some interesting points follow, to which I shall respond in like kind, because that's just the kind of New Gentlemen we are.

Before he lays out the rules, he notes:

The first question, of course, is what kind of hat you're wearing. If you're actually wearing an old school fedora, then you should probably follow the old school rules of removing it when you enter a building.

Indeed. However, I do tend to worry just a bit about those who wear them.

Golf hats, particularly if worn backwards, get a little more flexibility. Baseball hats, which are basically the standard listed below, get the most leeway.

Not sure why this should be so. With rare exceptions (largely religious or medical, as previously noted) hats is hats. I cut no slack for them.

Oh, and unless you actually own either a horse or a cow - or both - you should not be wearing a cowboy hat. Ever.

Welllll... mostly I agree with this, but those of us from ranching families have a powerful hankerin' for 'em at times, especially when we're out at the ranch or at a rodeo.

But yes. As a rule, city slickers should avoid them, if only to avoid looking foolish.

And now on to KG's rules for wearing hats:

1. In your home, it doesn't count, do whatever you want

Yes, a man's home is his castle (assuming he's not married).

But, as with other things one may do in the privacy of one's own home, would you tell your grandmother about it?

2. Hats are allowed at indoor arenas and stadiums, particularly if at a concert or sporting event

True. Sports are "outdoor" events, including those normally played indoors.

But concert... okay, for popular music at a stadium-type venue, yes. For a concert hall or auditorium normally dedicated to music, no, even for pop music.

3. A corollary of the sporting event rule is that hats are also allowed at sports bars

At first I was going to disagree with this. A bar is, after all, indoors. However, given the beer and other fluids that often fly in sports bars, a hat can be seen as a defensive measure so I will agree that this can be considered a valid exception to the general rule.

4. Casinos, particularly poker rooms, hats are definitely allowed, and should be encouraged

Hmm. Must be Vegas rules. I don't play high-stakes poker, so perhaps I am out of my element here, but it's indoors so I would say no. Did James Bond wear his hat inside the casino at Monte Carlo? I think not.

Were I running the World Series of Poker, I would have a dress code for the players. First rule: no hats. Second rule: For Annie Duke only, no shirt.

5. As a general rule, yes, Ken is right, a hat should be removed when you enter a building. However, wearing a hat in common areas (hallways, lobbies, etc) is acceptable.

Mostly agree, though only for short visits or traveling through. If loitering, doff the hat.

6. Always, I repeat, ALWAYS, remove your hat for the playing of the national anthem. Failure to do so should result in your pummeling following "…and the land of the freeeeeee".

Really, it should have been slapped off your head by the end of "can you see". Pummeling optional, but highly encouraged.

7. Tip your hat when you say hello or good-bye. This can be done subtly with nothing more than a finger on the bill, or, if it's a beautiful lady, the full blown removal.

Indeed. It's a sad commentary on modern society that this should need to be said.

8. If wearing a baseball hat, please, for the love of all that is holy, bend the bill a bit. The flat bill just looks dumb.

And for God's sake, don't wear it sideways. Backwards is bad enough.

9. And take the friggin' stickers and tags off the damn things

"Minnie Pearl, I'm looking at YOU."

10. In the classroom, it's a toss up. I'll admit to wearing a hat in the classroom in high school, college, and even law school. I think it depends on the professor, the topic, and generally where you are.

Radically disagree here, especially for high schoolers. It's not the school's job to teach them the manners that should have been taught by the parents, but nor should such behavior be accepted.

Of course, once they get to college, they are supposed to be adults. Not that the professor shouldn't enforce certain rules of decorum in the classroom, but hey, if they want to live with the consequences of rude behavior (like this twit, in a somewhat different context), let 'em.

11. If you are meeting someone who's job is listed in either the US or State Constitution, take the hat off.

Why should I doff my hat to an employee?

Just kidding. Agreed.

Just remember, if in doubt, take it off.

The hat only, of course. Unless you're Annie Duke.

Your turn, KG.

It's not nice to fool (with) Mother Nature

Even if I bought into the whole global warmongering-we're-all-going-to-die disaster scenarios, I would not be on board with attempts by environuts and politicians to influence global climate. Why not? Simple. Man has an abysmal track record when attempting to alter the natural world, even with "good intentions". As Michael Crichton said, industry and environmentalist have equally dismal records, and "there is no difference between greed and incompetence", if I'm recalling the exact quote.

Case in point: Humphrey the Retarded Whale, who was "rescued" from the Sacramento River delta in 1985. Okay, I didn't have too awfully much issue with that at the time. Shit happens, you take a wrong turn, etc. Except that he showed up again later and had to be "rescued" again. Obviously, he's an imbecile and should not breed.

Well, guess what? The dumb bastard bred.

Oh, to be a fly on the wall...

...for this conversation.

Maybe I'm just too old

Or maybe my Mom and my Auntie had a positive influence on me.

We were vegetating after a hard day's work, watching a show called "How I Met Your Mother". It's a fairly amusing show, mostly well written, with Doogie Howser playing a good sleazy character. But tonight...

I was appalled. Truly appalled. And that's not just prude talking.

I was appalled at one of the main characters in the show. It was this character's wedding day, but he ... I can hardly say it, I was so appalled. This kind of thing simply should not be shown on prime time network television.

I was appalled at K Callan, who played this character's grandmother, supposedly a proper grandmother. She positively gushed over this cretin. "Ooh, that's so 40s!", as if he were the reincarnation of Bogart. I'm not sure I can watch K Callan again after she debased herself in this role.

I was appalled at all the other characters who gushed over this cretin. I can't believe all of these people (writers, actors, directors, producers, every single person connected with this show) thought this was appropriate for network television at an hour when impressionable children might be watching.

Seriously, I was watching all this nonsense going on, and it could have been amusing nonsense, had it not been for this... obscenity. It was all I could do to keep myself from putting my fist through the TV. I just wanted to grab this asshole and choke the shit out of him while screaming...

TAKE OFF THAT GODDAMNED HAT! DIDN'T ANYONE EVER TEACH YOU NOT TO WEAR A HAT INDOORS? WHAT THE FUCK, WERE YOU BORN IN A FUCKING BARN? I'M A COUNTRY BOY, BORN AND ALMOST RAISED ON A RANCH, AND NOT ONE GODDAMNED MAN IN MY FAMILY WOULD EVER THINK TO WEAR A HAT IN THE GODDAMNED HOUSE, YOU PATHETIC, LOW-BROW, NEW YORKER, BOGART-WANNABE SCUMBAG! HUMPHREY BOGART ALWAYS TOOK HIS HAT OFF INDOORS!

Fortunately, I didn't destroy the TV. But I'll be some time getting past this.

Puppy blogging

I got nuthin' tonight, so here are more pics of the dawg.

Jerry Brown

Still crazy after all these years.

Aw man

This Sucks.

Words fail again (updated)

Jeebus. As the man says, there are no words. Nor for this, either.

UPDATE: Damn, that's amazing. Pej's post was at 6:59 PM EDT Friday. Check out this quote:

Just watch: Soon the obesity police are going to get in on the act.

So this morning, I come across a Don Surber post from just a few short minutes before that (assuming he is in the Eastern time zone):

Having done nothing with his 4th term as the junior senator from West Virginia, Democrat Jay Rockefeller is going to take on the No. 1 problem in America: Fat people on TV.

I've been saying "words fail" a lot lately.

More chuckles

Yeah, I guess they don't get to hear much news out there.

Die you fucking vermin

Picked up a large bag of dog food at Costco last weekend. Put it a large, plastic tub with a sealable lid. Some fucking vermin chewed through the lid.

I don't know if it's a rat or a possum or something else, but if it gets in the sights of my shotgun*, fucker's dead.

*Not really. Too loud, and the city frowns on that kinda stuff. But I have a pellet gun and CB caps for the .22 (very quiet).

Chutzpah

I like.

Mary Jayne, seated in rocking chair with pistol strapped to her knee, claiming exemption from concealed weapon regulation by saying her thirty-two isn't a concealed weapon in these days of knee-length skirts

Chortle.

Via Andrea, from her new digs.

Hmm

Darn. I think I missed lent this year. And I was so looking forward to giving up moderation.

Meanwhile, I have been meaning to do some serious gun blogging but haven't had time. so please peruse this catalog* in lieu of serious gun blogging.

*I didn't have time to do a proper post on it, but I was inspired by this Instapundit post and the original post by Terry Frank. Feckin' morons.

Anyhoo, last weekend was a local festival (Wine and Honey Festival, I think this one was but they tend to run together in what passes for my mind so that may not be quite right). Anyhoo, one booth had some really cool rubber band guns** - Tommy guns, Garands, and many more. I've seen a few before that were pretty cool, but the selection here amazed me. Many of them are also available at the link above; totally unconnected, I'm sure, but fun to peruse nonetheless.

**And if my kids were still less-than-college-age I could have justified buying a sample of each. [sigh] It's hell to get old...

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

This week is dedicated to every shithead who throws their cigarette butts, matches, or other combustable material into extremely dry areas around L.A. that are everything short of a sign that reads "TO START MASSIVE BRUSH FIRE, DISPOSE BURNING MATERIALS HERE." You don't need anyone to tell you how hot or windy it is outside. It doesn't take Albert fucking Einstein to explain to you what could happen when you do something like that, and even if it did, it's not like these brush fires don't occur nearly every stinking year, often enough for everyone to know better. You almost burned our shiny, newly remodeled Griffith Park to the ground. Asshole.

And a special nod this week goes to people who buy ten billion dollar homes in areas in the long-established paths of these fires who don't buy insurance and then expect the state to compensate them for their losses. I can only stretch my sympathy for people who lose everything so far before my inner bitch kicks in and declares it's your own damn fault. It's called planning ahead. Most grown-ups are expected to know how to do this.

Have a nice weekend, everyone. Feel free to shake off your moans before getting it started.

Cool video

Flight in a restored B-17 at Mather AFB. Story here (possibly reg. req.)

That's interesting

I heard on the radio how the San Diego Chargers got their name. No idea if the story is true but the radio wouldn't lie to me, right?

Anybody who knows, drop it in the comments. Everybody else, I'm not saying it just yet.

And if this is something I should have always known as an American and anyone decides to mock me for not knowing it, :-P I'm a baseball fan. You know, the sport for people with actual attention spans.

They "must be held acounbtable"

More humor, this time at the expense of illiterate teenagers.

Jail-bound socialite Paris Hilton urged fans yesterday to sign a petition to pardon her ''mistake'' because she provides beauty and excitement to ''(most of) our otherwise mundane lives''. /snip/ She wrote on her blog: ''My friend Joshua started this petition, please help and sihn (sic) it. i LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!''

The very first commenter at Lucianne says

The petition is to appeal Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon her. That settles it. Forty-five days is not near long enough. Not even if we could locate the dungeons of Mordor within which to lock her.

Indeed. I first heard something about this on the radio on the way to work. They mentioned that the Guvnah probably would not be swayed by illiterate teenyboppers who don't vote.

Via Don Surber, whose second commenter provided this gem (verbatim):

Michel Bisson Says:

May 9th, 2007 at 5:50 am
Jail for such infraction is a tyrannic rsponsise for such situation. And it is going against the constitution and declaration of independance. State must be acounbtable for such immoral abuse.

Law is there to serve and protec people not to enslave people.

she has not kill, she has not steal, she injured nobody, she has not declare illegal war who killed thousands of innocent, she has driven her car, without a license.

People lacking judgment like this judge should be impeach.

She should have been sentenced to something more useful for society.

Well, Lord knows someone should be held "acounbtable", but I'm hard pressed to think of something more useful to do with her than jail.

And by the way, Don's old like me. I bet he'd get the reference in the category.

Humor

Chortle

Well that was really dumb

That's gotta be one of the dumbest things I've heard all week.

I'm sitting the next room while the Sainted Bride watches "American Idol". They're apparently doing all Bee Gees songs, and I just heard some girl say a particular song was "written for a man".

Um, no, that's not true of ANY Bee Gees song. So, what, next week she says that about Frankie Valli?

Thinking good thoughts

Thinking about you, Dave. Stay safe, man, you and everyone you may know in the path.

Taking a page out of Bingley's book

Andpoking some fun at the I*****fascist, M****m punks who got picked up in Joisey. I went searching and found some pictures of the boys:

Agron Abdullahu

Serdar Tatar

Eljvir Duka

Shain Duka

Dritan Duka

Maria-hamad Shnewer

Um, you may want to be careful about clicking on that last one.

Sometimes they just write themselves

Posted for no particular reason:

And now kids, it's time to play...

Spot the Missing Word

Let's see if we can find that word.

Nope, not here.

Not here either.

Could it be here? Nope.

And by golly, it's not here either.

Ah, now we're getting a little closer. We found the J-word in the very last paragraph.

Now this one uses the J-word in the very first paragraph. Perhaps we'll find our elusive word?

[sigh] No such luck. Better luck next time, I guess.

Oh wait, there's our word!

Guess who's coming to dinner

Actually, it should read "Guess Who Came for Beers". That would be our friend John of Toilet Paper with Page Numbers and Chicago Boyz. He's in the area for a conference so we met up and downed a few brews and swapped a few lies at a local pub.

Fine fellow for a marketeer, our John. He has had some pretty amazing, and hair-raising, experiences in eastern Europe (but really, John, shivving that KGB agent was just a tad over the top, don't you think?) We shared some family stories, stories about work (in kinda-sorta allied industries), stories about Mr. Bingley (dude, you need to post a pic of that little chiffon number), and what not. And drank a beer or two. And a good time was had by all.

And now to bed. Four o'clock comes early, my children.

Carbon debits

Giggle

Giggle

Giggle

Blast from the past

Wowsers. It's been years since we've concentrated on our major strength, yet we are still Number One.

I'd like to thank the Academy....

Dude's got a way with words

Your phrase of the day: The Round Mound of Retard

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

This Friday is dedicated to our buddy Joel, who didn't have the opportunity of the FFOT when he originally wrote this.

I hear ya, Joel. I have petit mal epilepsy (which means I only twitch on occassion instead of having full blown seizures) and someone once asked me why I don't "just stop." Yeah, I do it on purpose because it brings so much fucking bliss. Asshole.

Take it away, kids. And have fun today. I'll be here all day, so I'll have to catch up on the festivities tomorrow.

So that's what they were talking about

Saw it at Instapundit early this morning but didn't get to look at it then and couldn't figure out what he was talking about. Just now saw a pic at Blair's place and realized what it was.

I should have figured it out before.

Uncle Ben is the antichrist

It needed to be said.

I don't have time for this crap

So will somebody out there please fisk this asshole? It probably requires registration so if you need to, you can find a login here.

I will say this much on his derision of the idea that "fag" can mean just "sissy". George Carlin actually had a bit about that years ago. As I recall it went something like this:

"Fag" had nothing to do with being gay. A fag was just a sissy... In fact, the big difference between a fag and a queer was, a fag was a guy who wouldn't go downtown with you beating up queers.

Hmm

Why does this particular phrase bother me in this particular context?

LOS ANGELES -- Demonstrators demanding a path to citizenship for an estimated 12 million illegal immigrants hope that nationwide marches will spur Congress to act before the looming presidential primaries take over the political landscape.

Marches, meetings and voter registration drives were planned today from California to New York, a year after 1 million flexed their economic muscle in a nationwide boycott during last year's May 1 activities.

Why do I get the feeling it won't be just citizens signed up in these voter registration drives?

Justice

Rot in prison, lady.

Sacramento -- A former criminal defense investigator accused of forging statements from jurors, witnesses and others in death penalty cases pleaded guilty to four charges Monday and accepted a five-year prison sentence.

Kathleen Culhane, 40, said outside a Sacramento courtroom that she filed incorrect documents on behalf of five condemned inmates because she believes that capital punishment is wrong.

And of course, her feewings are so much more important than the law.

"I believe that the death penalty is illegal," she said.

And she's a dumbass to boot. Most people say "I don't like (whatever) so it should be illegal." This one says "I don't like it so it is illegal."

"It is barbaric and an atrocity. Any acts I committed are out of a firm belief against the state killing these people."

And so, since I firmly believe that the state should be executing scumbags at a higher rate, it follows that I should be able to forge documents to accomplish that, right?

Get this:

Culhane's attorney, Stuart Hanlon, called the five-year sentence -- she could get out in 2 years and 8 months if she behaves in prison and earns good-time credits -- a "very stiff consequence."

Not stiff enough for jacking up the legal system.

I know little about Charles Barkley

But he seems to be a very amusing fellow.

On Sunday, Barkley dissed cities on both sides of the Bay Bridge on national TV. Pretending to be stung by a clamorous reaction by rabid Warriors fans, Barkley claimed that "I would rather stay on Alcatraz than San Francisco or Oakland.''

It was an affront to all that is good about this region, and residents reacted with talk-radio rants, angry phone calls to The Chronicle and a few good-natured chuckles.

Then Barkley went for the really low blow -- "You know how bad it is?'' Barkley asked his co-hosts. "I like Sacramento better than both those cities.''

Oooh, that one hurt.

"I really thought,'' Barkley chuckled Monday night, "that was a nice touch.''

Apparently, some locals got really upset about it. Others rolled with it and gave back in kind.

"I'm not surprised that he likes Sacramento,'' said Alameda's Violet Lawton. "He probably feels right at home surrounded by all that hot air.''

[...]

Kent Peterman of Vallejo took a look at Barkley's shaved head and channeled Gertrude Stein: "Not only is there no hair there," he said. "There is no there there.''

[...]

[Comedian Will] Durst thinks Barkley, the favorite son of Leeds, Ala., has just become disoriented.

"Where's he from, Alabama?'' Durst asked. "I think the big city just confuses him.''

Will Durst is a funny guy too.

"Charles is kind of a sly fox,'' [Warriors GM Chris] Mullin says. "He may be trying to line up a trip to the Bay Area. In fact, we may demand that he make an appearance.''

Yeah, just don't let Nancy Levine talk to him.

In fact, Nancy Levine of Berkeley is not only inviting him to stop by if the Warriors continue in the playoffs -- she is passing along a tip to make his visit easier.

"When you're in town,'' she says, "the best route to take to the Oracle Arena is through the MacArthur Maze.''

Now that's just mean. Isn't the regular traffic around here bad enough to wish on him?