it comes in pints?

Weird

Okay, this illustrates, I suppose, the difference between city dogs and country dogs.

I was chopping up some venison to make venison tacos this evening. I tossed a couple of pieces on the floor for Wily. He turned his nose up that them. Weird little shit.

Our previous dog, Bridget, who grew up on a ranch, used to scarf up any kind of venison that made its way to the floor.

It's not that Wily dislikes meat, he currently has a beef bone that he's been hoarding for a few days. But turning his nose up at venison? That's just frickin' weird. Sissified little city-slicker.

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (Drug Addled Edition)

(SPOILED, too. Alan and Nightfly got a couple of the answers, the rest are filled in)

Well, drug as in nectar of the gods, but it's a drug nonetheless. Add in the paint and woodstain fumes and it's definitely a huffing-good drug time.

So today we had guys in staining and painting on the windows we had installed recently. Nice, new, double-pane (or pain, take your choice) windows, all greenie-weenie, energy-efficient stuff, which we could actually afford because the kid turned down Harvard. This staining and painting is, of course, all stuff I could do on my own as a manly man but I've reached a stage in my life at which I refuse to tolerate substandard work. Which means, of course, that I will pay someone to do it right, rather than muck it up myself.

So anyway, I went for my normal weekend bike ride with a 60s CD. I'm collecting questions for future trivia quizzes, but I thought I would just do one that's been on the back burner for a little while. Having attended the drug capital of the western hemisphere, and lived right next door to the "Merrill Drugstore", I feel highly qualified to do a druggie edition of R'n'RTrivia.

Funny thing I learned in high school, though - despite the association of Rock 'n' Roll with drugs (and sex, but that's another, more interesting, trivia edition), there actually were a fair number of anti-drug Rock 'n' Roll songs. At least, anti-hard-drugs. And that's what we're talking about today. So polish up your roachclips, whet your syringes, fill your chaser glasses, and let's get ready for some trivia:

1) You think you're gonna find yourself a little piece of paradise with what? (Yes, I've used this one before. Shut up) [Nightfly gets "Kicks"]

2) Multi-part question:

a) Your good friend was lying on the pavement with what? [With misery on his brain]

b) Where did he find a potion? [Upon the wall of some unholy bathroom in some ungodly hall]

c) He only had a dollar to live on. What did he spend it on? [Comfort for his mind]

d) Who should someone call, and what will they do? [Someone should call his parents, a sister, or a brother, and they'll come to take him back home on a bus]

e) For whom will he always be a problem? [For his poor and puzzled mother]

f) What was too slow? And so what did he do? [He wanted Heaven but praying was too slow, so he bought a one-way ticket on an airline made of snow]

a) God damn who? [Alan gets "The Pusher"]

b) I've smoked a lot of grass, and what else? [Popped a lot of pills]

c) But I've never done what? [Never done nothin' that my spirit could kill]

d) I've seen a lot of people walking around with what? [Tombstones in their eyes]

e) What will this person leave your mind to do? [He'll leave your mind to scream]

f) If I were President of this land, what would I do? [Declare total war on the pusher]

g) How would I kill him? [I'd cut him if he stand and I'd shoot him if he run, and I'd kill him with my Bible and my razor and my gun]

Gun blogging

Yeah, I know I don't do enough of it. That is, of course, why Bitter spends her time with this guy instead of here. Well, that and the fact that I once taught the Sainted Bride how to shoot a rifle.

And a pistol.

Thank goodness I never taught her to shoot a shotgun.

Where was I? Oh yeah, gun blogging. Right. Let me tell you about the funkiest gun I ever saw. I would say "weirdest" gun, but does anyone in the this vast audience remember Winslow rifles? Years ago, I would see them in Gun Digest and Shooter's Bible. Them was some weird-ass lookin' rifles, I tell you what. I can't seem to find more pics than the one a David Petzal's site so when you get a chance go to the public liberry and pic some old (pre-1996) copies of GD and SB to see what I'm talking about.

Where was I? Oh yeah, gun blogging. Right. Let me tell you about the funkiest gun I ever saw.

The funkiest gun I ever saw was owned by my Sainted Uncle Jack. For all I know, it may still be somewheres around the ranch but I haven't seen it in years. Could be he or my beautiful Auntie got rid of it. I just don't know.

Anyways, it was a Phillipine Guerrilla Gun. In essence, it was a single shot shotgun intended to be cheap to produce and to be used exactly once per customer (by which I mean, to kill exactly one Japanese soldier for the express purpose of taking his rifle and ammo so as to fight properly equipped).

This particular shotgun consisted, excluding ammo, of exactly two parts, the first being a metal tube in 10 gauge. The Phillipine guerrilla would insert a shotshell into this tube.

The second part was another metal tube attached to a very crude wooden stock, and having a firing pin at the rear end of the tube. The guerrilla would insert the tube with the shell into the other tube. When a suitable enemy soldier was close, the guerrilla would "aim" the gun at him and yank back the inner tube with the shotshell so that it fired and killed the soldier. The guerrilla would then take the soldier's rifle and ammo and (presumably) run like hell to get away from the rest of the soldier's unit.

Uncle Jack once (exactly once, I suspect) fired this bad boy. He said it was the "kickin'est' son of a bitch" he'd ever fired. I hefted it once or twice, weighed about five pounds (soakin' wet) at most. I don't doubt it would give a mule headaches. Though I would love to try it just for "laughs". If you can call it that. And assuming it's still around somewheres...

Interesting

I just got a spam email from "Think Bulgarian Property".

Given their recent history, I think not

Random, meaningless observation

Metal lathes and I are not a good mix.

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

The last couple of weeks can fuck off. First I lose my keys. I didn't misplace them, mind you. I had them when I left my apartment, put them in my pocket - a very deep pocket, didn't take them out once and, at the end of the day, they were just gone. Then a couple of days ago as I was going home, I stopped off at the market to buy some food, paid with my ATM card, put my wallet in my back pack and went home. The next morning, it wasn't there. I didn't touch it that night - not my back pack, not my wallet, nothing - nobody came over, nobody could have broken in...nothing. Just gone. Six to ten days to get a new ATM card with no money and no ID in the meantime. The earliest appointment I can get at the DMV to get a replacement license (oh, can they ever FUCK OFF) is next Friday.

Last night, I was clipping my toe nails (yeah, I know how much you guys must love reading stories about toe nails) and tugged a little on the one on my left middle toe and the whole thing just tore off. The entire nail. It didn't hurt last night thanks to the two-and-a-half pints of Guinness I had under my belt, but it sure does hurt this morning, so my left middle toe can fuck off as well.

Burned out. You?

UPDATE: To the very kind, generous, sweet, thoughtful soul who found my wallet wherever my space case of a half-minded nit wit self left it behind and dropped it in a mail box so that it was returned instead of attempting to go crazy with my credit or ATM cards, THANK YOU.

HAHAHA!

I almost died laughing.

Help a link whore get a date

The poor boy sounds desperate. Hey, I've seen pictures of her, I understand his motivation. And he's in the sidebar.

UPDATE: Eric also supplies the quote of the day:

I want to slip into her bedroom, steal her stem cells, and clone her into a harem of hot Jewish brunettes.

Also, this quote:

God has the power to shove a flamethrower up my hide, and I am appreciative he has not done so as of yet.

Is P***s Burning?

Yes, John, only when the herpes acts up. Well, also when some gal on morning TV sets fire to her (You probably have to wade through a commercial).

Well, not really. Stupid lighter didn't work. Shoulda got a Zippo. But she did put P***s through a paper shredder, so it's all good*.

*Note to the hopelessly credulous: it was (technically) the newscopy that went through the shredder. But we reserve the space option.

BWAHAHAHA!

Thanks, P.G.!

UPDATE: So I watched the video here and clicked through and saw this amusing one.

Dumbfuck EUnuchs

Jeebus. What a bunch of feckin' retards.

Secularist Europe Silences Pro-Lifers and Creationists
By Paul Belien, Brussels Journal
Monday, June 25, 2007

Last week, a German court sentenced a 55-year old Lutheran pastor to one year in jail for "Volksverhetzung" (incitement of the people) because he compared the killing of the unborn in contemporary Germany to the holocaust. Next week, the Council of Europe is going to vote on a resolution imposing Darwinism as Europe's official ideology. The European governments are asked to fight the expression of creationist opinions, such as young earth and intelligent design theories. According to the Council of Europe these theories are "undemocratic" and "a threat to human rights."

At the same time, I have very big issues with punishing people for disagreeing about abortion. My views on the subject are irrelevant. You simply don't jail people for disagreeing with current law.

Unless you're a EUnuch, apparently.

Via Diana, who, I'm sure, disagrees with me on the subject. I'm sure she also disagrees with me on abortion. That's no reason to jail either one of us for our views.

XXX!

This one was stolen from Ricki....

Mingle² - Online Dating

Sniff. I am so proud of you, Ken. Keep up the good work.

Well good on them

I wouldn't have expected it.

US Weekly has had enough of the P***s H****n story
Mercury News wire services
Article Launched: 06/26/2007 11:09:39 PM PDT

P***s H****n gets out of jail on Tuesday and she won't be on the cover of US Weekly on Friday?

How, short of the Apocalypse, is this possible?

"When it came down to it, the staff and I felt what I believe a lot of people in America are feeling. Which is just enormous P***s fatigue," US Weekly Editor Janice Min told The Associated Press on Tuesday.

As a result, H****n not only won't be on the cover, there won't even be a mention of her in the magazine.

"I don't think," Min joked, "we even mention the city of P***s."

ohmigod

ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod

Jeebus Kriste

The top headline at CNN's website right now is the story about Skanky McHotel getting out of jail.

It's not in the entertainment section. It's not a link at the bottom to a story at People magazine.

It is the primary headline on the main page.

Is it Friday yet?

Thanks, I needed that

Stolen from the Lovely Diana.

Self help

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (The Ph****m Me**ce)

BUMP Still hoping to get some more answers int today. Come on, kids! SPOILERS Well, quel bum-air. I was hoping folks would get them all but 'tis not to be, so I'm just posting the rest. And FRANNIE dear, kind soul and fine human being, I really want those lyrics to "More". Please, please, please ...

NOTE: I wanted to post this yesterday but the internet connection crapped out. I went ahead and composed the questions offline. Now it's Sunday morning and the sun is shining in my eye that is open, and the internet connection is back up and screaming like a banshee, and we're off..

After working for about seven hours on a frickin' Saturday, I got home and sucked down a beer or five, then went on a bike ride with my 60s CD, solely to gather material for the trivia questions you know and love so well. It is my gift to you. You're welcome, I'm sure.

Anyway, a couple of observations before we proceed:

1) Headphones really make a huge difference when you're listening to stereo recordings. I first noticed this phenomenon many, many years ago but it bears repeating. It's weird, and sometimes slightly painful, to hear tracks in different ears. I first noticed this in college back in the Paleozoic Era the first time I listened to the "Abbey Road" album with headphones. The song "Her Majesty", after the first orchestral note, starts in one ear and moves to the other. I had hear the effect, of course, with regular speakers but it's just not the same. Kind of strange, but the strangest part is that when only one ear is playing it's actually painful. Seriously. If you've never experienced that sensation, try it. Very odd.

2) Following on the first observation, it's not as noticeable with regular speakers but with headphones the piano background to "King of the Road" is like, way bitchin'. Not that there's much to it, it's primarily just keeping time rather than playing cool melody but DAMN it's cool in the context of the song.

Well, with those observations out of the way, let's get on to the main event. I know I'm in a rut but this is fun and my brain is not really capable of much more after 65 hours or so (not counting commute time) of trying to fill end of the quarter revenue targets. And we've done several C/W posts in a row so it's time to toggle back to Rock 'n Roll. And by golly gravy, I can do that.

1) Multi-part question: What did Mattie tell Hattie about? What did Hattie tell Mattie? Then what did Mattie tell Hattie? And what were they talking about? [Brian and Joel bounced all around this one. Mattie told Hattie about a thing she saw, two big horns, wooly jaw, yada yada. Then Hattie told Mattie let's don't take no chance, and so on. Then Mattie told Hattie it's the thing to do, and whatnot. And of course, it's Wooly Bully. Small confession: I did have to look it up to find out what L-7 means.]

2) WTF is up with Richard Harris? Never mind, rhetorical question. Who cares about that stupid cake. [Really, now. Did you actually expect me to say anything more about this bizarre song?]

2) I want to tell you a story every man ought to know. If you want a little lovin' what do you have to do? [Treat her right. Let this be a lesson to you young bucks in the audience.]

3) There are, apparently, no lyrics to "Wipeout". Nor, as cool a tune as it is, are there any lyrics to Kai Winding's "More". So my question to you, dear readers, is who all can dig it? [Rather surprised that no one got this one. Who, exactly, can "dig it"? Well, let's see... I can dig it, he can dig it, she can dig it, we can dig it, they can dig it, and you can dig it.]

4) It's just a coffee house made out of wood. What is it, where is it, a what tastes mighty good? [Julie got almost all of it. It's a crazy little shack beyond the tracks called the "Sugar Shack", and espresso coffee tastes mighty good.]

5) One day you're up, next day you're down. If the grass is always greener on the other side, as they say, what is it you ain't got? [We ain't got nothin' yet.]

6) If it takes more than a robin to make the winter go, and it takes two hearts a-cookin' to make a fire grow, who's got what? [Baby, you've got what it takes.]

And a seventh question, because seven is an important number in craps and strangely, I feel like craps, and, while it really has nothing to do with Rock 'n' Roll and I don't yet want to do an entire post devoted to the subject without extensive research, I did want to submit this question to this distinguished readership:

7) Describe, in 700 words or less, the genius of Roger Miller. [Well, naturally, Emily nailed this on in less than ten words.]

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I should disqualify Emily from answering this question. But after careful reflection, I realized that she probably cannot limit her answer to 700 words so the playing field is level.

Have at it, kids.

Stupid Kennedy Tricks

Oh good gawd.

UPDATE: Video.

Holy crap

This poor little bastard would make Yoda throw up.

Chinese Crested-Chihuahua mix named world's ugliest dog

PETALUMA, California (AP) — Elwood, a 2-year-old Chinese Crested and Chihuahua mix, was crowned the world's ugliest dog, a distinction that delighted the mutt's owners.

Elwood, dark colored and hairless — save for a mohawk-like puff of white fur on his head — is often referred to as "Yoda," or "ET," for his resemblance to those famous science fiction characters.

But here's the frightening part:

Quigley brought Elwood out to compete for the second year at the annual ugly dog contest at the Marin-Sonoma County Fair on Friday. Elwood placed second last year.

Meme, Myself, and I

So I got tagged again, with what at first glance strikes me as a very unfair meme for some people, especially people named Xavier or Zelda:

SCATTERGORIES

Rules: Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following. They MUST be real places, names, things...NOTHING made up! If you can't think of anything, skip it.

Try to use different answers if the person before you had the same 1st initial.

You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question... Now Go!

Okay, so my name begins with a K. That makes it a little tougher than for some people, though not as tough as for those unfortunates named Xavier or Zelda. But I shall muddle along.

Your Name: Ken
1. Famous singer/band: Kansas
2. 4 letter word: Kite
3. Street name: K Street
4. Color: Kumquat
5. Gifts/presents: Kazoos
6. Vehicle: Kia
7. Things in a Souvenir Shop: Kitchen magnets
8. Boy Name: Keith
9. Girl Name: Katrina
10. Movie Title: K is for Killer. Okay, I actually have no idea if they made a movie from that one or any other Sue Grafton novel, but I can't come up with anything else
11. Drink: Kahlua
12. Occupation: Kiln builder. Or Kamikaze Pilot
13. Flower: Krysanthemum (hey, dammit, you try coming up with one that starts with K)
14. Celebrity: Kate Jackson ("the smart one")
15. Magazine: Huh?
16. U.S. City: Kennebunkport
17. Pro Sports Teams: Kansas City Royals
18. Fruit: Kumquat again.
19. Reason for Being Late for Work: Killed in a fiery car crash, but got better
20. Something You Throw Away: Kleenex, used
21. Things You Shout: KILL THE LAWYERS!
22. Cartoon Character: Krazy Kat

Tagging: anyone who wants to participate. Maybe later I'll think of some people specifically to tag but for now I'm concentrating on drinking.

Xenu forgive me

I'm normally opposed to just copying stuff out of the paper. But I couldn't find it online and it's just too good to pass up. So, at the risk of copyright infringement, I give you Carson Drew's Worst Nightmare:

Ick

Plumbing sucks.

This post has no title

Because I couldn't choose among the many possibilities.

I was scrolling down through Bitter's posts. Lots of nanny-state shit going on today, go there and scroll.

But I just had to post on this one, and I'm having a devil of a time choosing just the right title. Bruce has a good one, and has lots more in his post. So since all the good titles and commentary have already been taken, I'll make this a poll:

What Should Be the Title of This Post?

1) Blame Kennedys

2) Stupidity Unlimited

3) Massholes (or a variation, such as Critical Massholes)

4) Government: Protecting Your Clothing So You Don’t Have to Think About It

5) Mandatory sippy-cups for grown-ups.

6) Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go out in my backyard and do the "Thank God I Don't Live Down There Anymore" Dance.

7) I’m just shocked Mayor Bloomberg didn’t think of this before Massachusetts did.

8) Hmmm, condoms for cups.

9) Never Underestimate the Ability of Massachusetts Politicians to Come Up With Ideas Immeasurably More Ass-Reamingly Stupid Than They Did the Week Before

10) Nothing says YUM like beer through a straw.

11) Blame the frickin' Kennedy's again

12) Ken is absolutely right, we need to publicly execute, preferably by hanging, at least one politician per year, pour encourager les autres.

Bastard Kennedys

Well, not anymore. Only for the last 11 years. I wonder if Joe Pat got behind on payments.

Anyway, help me out here, I'm not up on the doctrine. If annulment means the marriage was never valid, doesn't that mean the kids are illegitimate?

Yeehaw! (updated)

I knew we could do it!

So I'm here at work and I take a few minutes between assays and spreadsheets to slam down some coffee and peck away at the keyboard, and I come across this.

It seems our resident Xenusian Catholic Joel, aside from being a C/W whiz, is also a wee bit of a potty mouth.

Well, seeing as how we here at 'Pints have a regular Friday thing going with lots of bad language, I assumed we would also get an NC-17 rating, so I gave it a shot (you can try it too). Quel frickin' surprise:

Mingle² - Online Dating

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

fuck (9x) ass (2x) bitch (1x)

Now I feel cheated. Nine fucks, two asses, and a bitch only got us an R rating.

Obviously they only scan the front page, so I plugged in the link to this week's FFOT:

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

fuck (36x) fucking (10x) asshole (4x) ass (3x) fuckity (2x) shithead (1x)

Now that's more like. I'll be ding dang diddly hornswoggled if I'll let Joel out-swear us.

Then just out of curiosity, I thought I'd try the entire month of June:

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

fuck (12x) hell (5x) dead (3x) bastards (2x) punch (1x)

Hmm. We backed off a bit on the sex but we introduced some violence. It seems that without including the comments, the pottymouthedness dries up a bit.

This exercise tells me two things: (1) our commenters are totally cool, and (2) The folks at Mingle have some issue with the words "fuck", "hell", "bitch", and "bastard", but seem to be okay with "twatwaffle".

It also raises an interesting question: What would it take to get an X rating?

UPDATE: Interesting. Pondering the fact that we've only had three weeks of June, I tossed in May. Of course, it got an NC-17 again, but:

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

fuck (6x) fag (5x) gun (3x) shit (2x) hurt (1x)

Only half the fucks of June, but we added three guns and five fags. And a "hurt" - what's up with that?

Well, I knew very well where I could pick up some more fucks. November 2006. Same NC-17 rating, but check this out:

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

fuck (140x) shit (10x) fucking (8x) asshole (5x) crap (4x) shoot (3x) gays (2x) death (1x)

Is that cool or what? 140 fucks and eight fuckings. Also three crapshoots (assuming I may conjoin the words), five assholes and ten shits, and DEATH. No fags, though, only a couple of gays.

Country/Western Trivia (Roger Miller Edition)

I assume we can just give the trophy to Emily in advance, but perhaps there will be some surprising surprises...

...because it's NOT Roger Miller tonight. Oh hell no, something like that has to be planned out well in advance. I promise, when I do a Roger Miller [genefluct] edition, it will be a hardcore m****rf****r.

Instead, tonight I'll just have a little fun seeing as how I'm going into work again tomorrow. It's a Jerry Reed Edition. Yeah, I know, shame on me; Jerry Reed deserves more than just an exhaustion/alcohol-induced Edition, but I can't think of anything else tonight, it's after 9, I'm getting up at 4 tomorrow to hit the salt mines, and Jerry can just suck it up. (Note to my man Jerry: I promise I will do a better version sometime). And they may all be gimmes.

1) You're loaded up and truckin'. Where are you headed?

2) If everybody blames your old man for making you mean as a snake, what's your name, what do you do for a living, and how do you do it? And as a bonus question, how did your old man make you mean as a snake? And as another bonus, who's going to get you?

3) If you're with Homer Jones and Big John Talley, what are you doing and where? And describe in 25 words or less what happened after that.

Jesus christ, this fucking computer is totally fucked tonight. I might add some more questions in the morning. Goodnight.

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

People who put shit off until the last minute and then expect everyone else around them to scramble at breakneck speed while making miracles happen can bite me.

People who ask you a question and don't like the answer they hear, so they keep asking the same question over and over as if anything's going to change if they repeat themselves enough - get out of your stubborn funk. The answer is still "no" or "I don't know."

Insomnia can fuck off. And, just until I feel a little better, vodka can fuck off too.

Your turn.

Country/Western Trivia (no particular edition)

SPOILERS ADDED. Darn. I was really hoping someone would get the unanswered ones [sigh]. Answers added.

Well, Stats was as much fun as shooting fish in a barrel of monkeys, even if only the lovely Lisa and the lovely Joel participated. What's also fun is I had a short day at work, only about 11 and a half hours, so life is good, beer is good, surprisingly, fish sticks are even good (more or less, with enough cocktail sauce - Mrs. Paul is a semi-hemi-demi-goddess). But the wife's out for the evening, my brain is still feckin' fried, it's illegal (gawd knows why) to beat sales people like a rented mule, and I can't do anything else but plumb the depths of this audience's knowledge.

And yes, I do plan to host a Roger Miller Edition soon. I'll give the trophy to Emily before posting, of course.

Once again, two gimmes and a toughie fuck it. We'll just see what kind of random stuff flies out of my keyboard before I fall over. I only hope I remember the correct answers in the cold, sober light of day. UPDATE: Well, fortunately, in the cold, sober light of day I do happen to remember all the correct answers. I have, however, reworded question 10.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Some answers added and the questions left are bolded.

1) It's Sunday morning and the sun is shining in my eye that is open. What did I have last night? [Joel: Too much tequila - Jose Cuervo, to be specific]

2) Ain't no glamour in this tinsel land and painful scars are all that's left of me. What is it now? [Emily: Guitars, cadillacs, and hillbilly music]

3) Baby left me without warning. What is it, and to where am I flying and why? [Spoiler: It's a bloody mary morning; I'm flying down to Houston and forgetting her is the nature of my flight]

4) A bad mistake I'm makin' by just hangin' 'round. Oh - what? [Joel: Oh, Lonesome Me]

5) [Scratch it, I'll save it for the Johnny Horton Edition]

5 v.2.0) This rattler's the fastest in the southern land to keep doing what? [Spoiler: to keep movin' me on]

6) You ain't so big, you're just tall. Who are you? [Joel: Big Boss Man]

7) He stood six foot six and weighed 245. Who was he? And what happened to him? [Julie gets Big Bad John, but what happened to him? - Angie gets that part, killed in a cave-in after saving 20 men]

8) Out where the bright lights are glowing, you're drawn like a moth to a flame and you laugh while the wine's over-flowing. What hear me and see me? And what else are they doing? [Lisa: Four walls to hear me, four walls to see, four walls too near me, closing in on me]

9) I'll tell the man to turn the juke box way down low, and what can you tell your friend? [Angie: He'll have to go]

10) [And speaking of that same singer] Who's walking on quicksand? Who should walk slow because he's (metaphorically) walking on quicksand? (Major freakin' kudos to anyone who gets this obscure one) [Lisa and Emily: Billy Bayou. I really thought this was the toughest of the bunch]

11) I'm watching flies and children on the street and catching glimpses of black-eyed girls. Where am I? [Look, I don't care who sang it, it's a frickin' cowboy ballad, 'k?] [KG, known for not being a C/W fan, gets it with Mexicali]

[desperately tries to make it to an even baker's dozen before doing a nosedive into the keyboard]

12) What am I driving from Lynchburg to Danville? And what describes the route from Lynchburg to Danville? [Angie: Old 97; it's a line with a three mile grade, and also a mighty rough road]

[Almost there, only one more to go ...]

13) Who won the English Football Cup in 1949? [Spoiler: Well I'm not surprised you didn't get that. It was Wolverhampton Wanderers, who beat Leicester 3-1. And I am really surprised no one picked up on the reference.]

Goodnight.

A quiz!

But I'm really not into getting YET ANOTHER account at some random website I don't have time to visit enough to make it worthwhile or even likely I'd remember a password for, so I'll just link to the Musical Geography Chef.

By the way, I got "the Black Beast of Aaauugh". A little surprising, I thought I'd get Tim, too.

HAHAHAHAHA!

So my lovely friend Julie just sent along a music file for this song. I really have no idea how to go about posting it so I'm just going to link to the lyrics. If you want to hear it, drop me a line in the comments or by email and I will forward the file.

Country/Western Trivia (Statler Brothers Edition)

UPDATE: The score so far: Joel has gotten eight correct, Lisa has gotten four of those left. Two numbered and the bonus question still to go.

SECOND UPDATE: Answers added for the last two not guessed.

Because I can't resist a good CAGE MATCH between Lisa and Joel.

My actual knowledge of Stats is not very extensive, and no doubt overshadowed by the Stats awesomeness of Lisa and Joel, but I like what I know and I know what I like so we'll muddle ahead anyway. All ready? No particular order, and given the expected ease with which detailed questions would be answered, some will be rather terse.

1) How will I make my day complete? [Joel]

2) Who thought they'd change the world with great works and deeds? [Joel]

3) Chet's the reason for what? [Lisa]

4) Where was I taught to be a man? [Joel]

5) Aviator caps with what? [Joel]

6) Why did I dress in tails last night? [Joel]

7) Why do you have to take your analyst along? [Joel was very close - You have to take you analyst along to see if the movie is fit to see, from "Whatever Happened to Randolph Scott"]

8) What will happen when they ordain Madelyn O'Hare Madalyn O'Hair? [spelling corrected] [Lisa]

9) Captain Midnight, Ovaltine, and what? [Joel]

10) There's nothing I wouldn't give to prove what? [Lisa]

11) To what are my eyes and shoes, respectively, not accustomed? [Joel]

12) What did Hildegard carve my name on? [Lisa]

13) What am I reminded of when we make a memory? [Man, I could almost see the smoke pouring out of Lisa's ears trying to get this one. Every time we make a memory, I'm reminded I can picture me with no on else but you, from "Pictures"]

14) Of what do you need to know the code? [Joel]

BONUS QUESTION: For any movie for which the Statlers performed the theme, name both the song and the movie (for the record, I know of only one but would be happy to learn of others). [And my answer to the Bonus Question is...drum roll... "Whatever Happened to Randolph Scott?" was the theme to the movie "Drive-In"]

"Good Fool Efficiency"

HAHAHAHA!

And speaking of Rock 'n' Roll Trivia...

Local RWDB radio just played this.

BAHAHAHAHA!

UPDATE: Ooh! Jeff Stambovsky has a website! I know where I'll be spending some quality time.

[fill in the blank] trivia

Okay, so as previously noted, work currently sucks (not always, just right now), my brain is fried, and I am largely incapable of anything resembling a coherent thought. Hence, the Rock 'n' Roll. Well, there's also the fact that people seem to be enjoying it.

With that in mind, please email or drop in the comments your votes for what should come next. I have definite plans for some or part, perhaps even all, of the following:

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (Beatles Edition)
Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (Roy Orbison Edition)
Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (Rolling Stones Edition) - special note: apologies to anyone offended, but I detest "Angie" and pretty much anything that came after it, they should have broken up in 1970 as the Beatles had the good sense to do.

Country/Western Trivia (Johnny Cash Edition)
Country/Western Trivia (Statler Brothers Edition)
Country/Western Trivia (Johnny Horton Edition)
Country/Western Trivia (Marty Robbins Edition)

I also have plans for, perhaps, a bluegrass series, perhaps a folk series, and almost certainly a BANJO series, once Cullen gets back from his foray into being one of the Landed Gentry.

Drop your votes for the next edition(s) in the comments or in private emails, especially if you have something other than what's listed above; I'm happy to do any I'm familiar with and just as happy to do something else (with proper attribution, of course!) Please let me know. Because otherwise I will forget. You know how people my age are, right Julie?

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (P&G edition)

Wow. Apparently it's even more popular than I realized, if I may extrapolate from the comments and private emails. And since my brain is far too fried, and I have far to little time or energy, to do anything else, let's continue with the RnRT(P&GE).

No, this edition is not Proctor and Gamble, fine rockers that they are, of course. Nor is it Pacific and Gas Electric, because that would be just silly and have the conjunction in the wrong place (though they are fine rockers nonetheless). But I think I'll not say who they are just yet; drop the name in the comments (I think the recent obsession with Chad and Jeremy is hint enough).

Instead of rambling any further, let's just continue, shall we? I knew you would. Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel (i.e., two gimmes and a possible toughie):

1) Who is seventeen and a beauty queen?

2) I don't care what they say, I won't stay where?

3) I remember what she said when she said "goodbye". What do I do every time she passes by?

Cool

So after being so mean to some people, I thought I'd at least offer a different earworm to replace "Red Rubber Ball" in the collective consciousness. I went searching for "Yesterday's Gone" by Chad and Jeremy. Not only did I learn that they are still touring, I found this highly entertaining promo. Enjoy.

Pet peeve

Grr. So I get to my desk and crank on the radio. Immediately there comes a commercial which has been irritating the hell out of me. Actually, it's worse; it's not just one commercial, it's several different ones.

Look, it's one thing for someone not in the industry, and with only occasional contact with it, to mispronounce the word "realtor". Typically, people will pronounce it with three syllables. "Real-a-ter". That's bad enough.

It's quite another thing when the public face (if that's what you can call it on the radio) of the industry, in a series of commercials promoting it, pronounces the word as "real tore". Gahhh. Jeez that irritates me.

Evil. Pure Evil.

That's what I am, indeed. In the extended entry, I have posted something that will drive certain readers up the wall. Or insane. Whichever comes first.

BWAHAHAHAHA!

And the best part is, no one knows if s/he is the one without clicking on Extended Entry.

BWAHAHAHAHA!

So, do you dare click on Extended Entry? Before you do, the question you must ask yourself is "Do you feel lucky?"

Well, do you, reader?

I should have known you'd bid me farewell
There's a lesson to be learned from this and I learned it very well
Now, I know you're not the only starfish in the sea
If I never hear your name again, it's all the same to me

And I think it's gonna be alright
Yeah, the worst is over now
The mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball

You never care for secrets I confide
For you, I'm just an ornament, somethin' for your pride
Always runnin', never carin', that's the life you live
Stolen minutes of your time were all you had to give

And I think it's gonna be alright
Yeah, the worst is over now
The mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball

The story's in the past with nothin' to recall
I've got my life to live and I don't need you at all
The roller-coaster ride we took is nearly at an end
I bought my ticket with my tears, that's all I'm gonna spend

And I think it's gonna be alright
Yeah, the worst is over now
The mornin' sun is shinin' like a red rubber ball

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Yeah, I know. I suck. Deal with it.

Country/Western Trivia (The Goddess Patsy Cline Edition)

(Hints added for the last two one not yet guessed) [Last update: The final spoiler added on Number 3.]

Well. Brian nailed that last R'n'R post so quick, and I'm in desperate need of a few minutes away from the gawdawful maelstrom* that is work this morning, so here we go.

*All things considered, it's probably good that I no longer wear a tie to work. Some days you just want to go looking for an exposed overhead pipe.

All of these are, or should be, gimmes for any true blue Patsy Cline [genuflect] fan. In no particular order:

1) When did I go out walking? And what was that weeping willow doing? [From Lisa: I go walking after midnight and the weeping willow is crying on his pillow (crying for me?)]

2) You walk by and what happens? [From Julie: You walk by and I fall to pieces]

3) When dreams are shattered and false friends can't be found, what should you do? (Hint: You've hit the top but it won't last, and there's just one way to go) [Spoiler Be sure to pick me up on your way down]

4) The only thing different, the only thing new, is what? [From Lisa: she's got you]

5) Where did I find enchantment strange as the blue up above? [From Julie: a moonlit path beside the Alamo]

6) If I'm to blame, and it's a shame, who should come home? [From Lisa: Bill Bailey, and if you've never heard the Goddess Patsy singing this one, you owe it to yourself and humanity to find it and give a listen]

7) When they've all had their quarrels and parted, what will we be doing? (Hint: We'll still be doing this through all kinds of weather and without a barrel money) [From Julie: We'll be travellin' along, singin' a song, side by side]

8) I should hate you the whole night through instead of doing what? [From Julie: instead of having sweet dreams about you]

9) What should you send me from Old Algiers? And what should you remember? [From Nightfly: Send me photographs and souvenirs, and remember "you belong to me"]

10) And finally, why do I let myself worry? [From Nightfly again: because I'm crazy]

Yeah, whatever

Rage on, creeps.

Pakistan parliament demands Britain withdraw Salman Rushdie's knighthood
33 minutes ago

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan (AP) - Pakistani lawmakers passed a government-backed resolution Monday demanding Britain withdraw the knighthood awarded to author Salman Rushdie, condemning the honour as an insult to the religious sentiments of Muslims.

In the eastern city of Multan, hard-line Muslim students burned effigies of Queen Elizabeth II and Rushdie. About 100 students carrying banners condemning the author also chanted, "Kill him! Kill him!"

On Saturday, Britain announced the knighthood for the author of "The Satanic Verses" in an honours list timed for the official celebration of the queen's 81st birthday.

The resolution in the lower house of parliament on Monday was proposed by Minister for Parliamentary Affairs Sher Afgan Khan Niazi who branded Rushdie a "blasphemer."

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (movin' on to the 60s)

So we gave DNO a send off from undergrad studies this weekend. Lots of fun, lots of eating out. Unfortunately, to the disappointment of several of us in the crew, including DNO, her ceremony was the 9:00 one. The guest speaker was an alumna of the school, and it was fine. But if she (and we) had been in the 1:00 ceremony, with the engineers, the guest speaker would have been Adam Savage of "Mythbusters". Sigh. We all (well, all except the Sainted Bride and the Sainted Sister-in-Law and the Sainted Mother-in-Law, but definitely including me and the Bro-in-Law and the Dad-in-Law and DNO's Significant Other to Whom She is Already Married in Everything Except the Legal Part But That's Another Story For Another Day) considered returning to crash it but ultimately decided not to fight the traffic, which was bad enough already (jeez, took over 8 hours to make what should have been a 5 hour or less drive - Fuck Off to idiot drivers who get in wrecks in front of me).

AAAAAANYhoo. Where was I? Oh yeah. The trip back wasn't so bad. Still a lot of idiots on the road (Fuck Off to morons who sit in the passing lane while not passing, and Bigger Fuck Off to cretins who jump from the right lane to the left JUST AS I AM GETTING READY TO PASS THEM, BUT TAKE THEIR OWN SWEET DAMN TIME PASSING, OR NOT). Peckerheads. But it wasn't so bad overall, I suppose.

We stopped at Costco on the way and I picked up a new CD collection. This one is 60s, but not limited to Rock 'n' Roll. Wide selection of styles, including some Country/Western. I've known for some time that I would make a segue to C/W trivia. I was all set to do a Statler Brothers Edition tonight (they are represented on this new collection) but I realized that, as much as I enjoy the Stats, my first C/W trivia edition would have to be songs of The Goddess Patsy Cline (also represented on this collection).

But since I don't have questions yet lined up for The Goddess Patsy Cline, this one will be, once again, R'n'R - of the 60s. You will note, of course, that I have already broached the 60s with the Sainted Beach Boys, so it's not like it's anything new, right?

Well, enough with the chit chat. On to the trivia. Once again, one more time, two gimmes and a toughie:

1) What keep getting harder to find and ain't bringing you peace of mind? (Minor hint: the verb "keep" is, indeed, rendered correctly)

2) I think it's gonna be alright, the worst is over now. What is the morning sun doing?

And the toughie:

3) What is it, when your baby says goodbye and you feel like you want to die?

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

To that fat woman outside the market this morning, the one in the designer clothes, who asked me for some spare change so she could get something to eat and who then proceeded to glare at me like I was the worst person in the world when I told her "I'm sorry, I don't have any spare change?"

Yeah, you know what you can do, sister.

To people who cannot grasp the idea that there's a difference between individualism and just being a plain old selfish asshole. (*cough*)

Suck it.

Happy Friday. Let it all out before the weekend.

BAHAHAHAHA!

Okay, it's been a long ass week. And it's only Thursday. And I may miss the FFOT tomorrow because I'm going out of town. Gotta attend a gradjimanation. Seems the older daughter is graduating from college. Well, technically, she already gradjiated and is in grad school, but traditionaly the ceremony is in June. So we's headin' south to officially see her off.

But that's not what the title of the post means. Daughter Number Two came home to go with us to the graduation pomp and circumstuffs. She's up for a role in the community theater production of "The Pirates of Penzance".

And so, just tonight, after a brutal week of work, when I'm already like a sixpack in, she turned me on to this.

BAHAHAHAHA!

I learned a new term today (updated)

From this guy on the radio this morning.

hysteron proteron

Can anyone explain what it means without looking it up?

UPDATE: Well, nobody got it without looking. Not one of your more common phrases, of course. It is literally "the latter first", and refers to an expression in literary usage or, more commonly, in the vernacular in which the two parts of the expression have their order reversed from what would be the natural order. I'm sure that's clear as mud so a few examples are in order:

Putting on your shoes and socks - Now, realistically, wouldn't it be better to put them on in the reverse order?

Lock and load - We gunnuts realize, of course, that it's rather difficult to load after locking the action.

Falling head over heels - Head over heels is my natural state, as it is for most bipeds. When I fall, I fall heels over head.

Now aren't you all happy to know there's an actual term for these?

An embryonic meme

In the making. Well, I don't know that Dave meant to make it a meme but I'm making it one.

I challenge each and every one of you in the readership to come up with one for your own job. Drop it in the comments or post it at your own place.

I'm not feeling too creative myself, so it may take me a while but I'll see what I can do.

UPDATE: As promised, here is my version. It's not much, I'm pretty punchy, but what the heck.

The Biotech Manager's Prayer:

Yea though I stumble through the drear of the twelve hour days, I will fear no inaccurate sales forecasts. For resources are with me. My direct reports and my lab equipment, they comfort me. They preparest product in the face of ridiculous deadlines. They perform in the absence of adequate MRP. But my stein will run over when I finally get to drag my ass home.

Surely stock options and a 401(k)shall be the reward for making my commitments, and my survivors will be well provided for when I keel over from exhaustion.

Hmm, that's odd

For some weird reason, when I went to Amazon.com I got three book recommendations "Recommend for You".

The first two were this one and this one.

I wonder if they're trying to tell me something?

The Beach Boys Historical Monument

A couple of days ago, Ken had one of his great rock and roll geography trivia threads up dedicated to the Beach Boys. I mentioned I'd visited the registered California state historical landmark that's sitting on the property of what used to be the childhood home of the Wilson brothers (it was demolished to make way for the 105 Freeway over a decade ago), within walking distance of where I live now. The Beach Boys have a fond place in my heart; they're from Hawthorne, the closest thing I'll ever have to a hometown, having grown up an Air Force brat everywhere else in the world. They went to my high school. In 1969, they were the band that played our school prom. When I was still a student at HHS, one of my friends was a cheerleader and the band as it was then still invited the girls (and on occassion, the girls and the one or two boys that were man enough to not be insecure about their sexuality to try out for the pep squad) to come and sit in the front row of their local shows here in L.A. I don't know if they still do this, but can't imagine why they'd have quit after so many years of that tradition.

Some time in the late 80s or early 90s, Brian Wilson was invited back to be grand marshall of our dinky but proud little hometown parade. He came. The thing is, he used to play soft ball back at HHS, but was never awarded his letter because his music teacher gave him a failing grade for his song "Surfin'." That year he came home, his old coach arrived at the parade and presented him with his scarlet and gold "H," as he explained "I think your music teacher might have been wrong about that 'F'."

I still have the little blurb from that moment, with a picture of Brian Wilson posed on a surfboard (even though he never actually surfed - his brother Dennis was the only BB who did), holding it with pride, from Rolling Stone magazine all those years ago. I'll get around to scanning it and posting that as well someday. Until then, here are a few pictures from a quiet visit I paid one Saturday morning to the official California state historical landmark honoring the Beach Boys.

This is for you, Ken. I can't tell you how much it means to me to be your friend and blog partner sharing this crazy state together with love.

The view from across the street (which is residential. What you see right behind it is the 105 Freeway).

The official plaque:

Each original member has their own 45.

Al:

Mike:

Brian:

(Notice the brick right to the left of it from Carnie and Wendy. More about the bricks later)

Carl:

Dennis:

More about the bricks: the Hawthorne Chamber of Commerce sells bricks on the monument, to help raise money for the upkeep and to let people who loved the Boys to be a part of their legacy. I was stunned by the number of foreign contributions there were; I'd always known the Beach Boys did something special with their music that touched people who would never live the culture they sang about. I just never had any idea it would move them to want to be a part of this. There are contributors from literally all over the globe. Here are some of the best shots I got. Unfortunately, I took these about two days after I got my first digital camera and over-estimated the lifespan of its batteries. I had to leave without nearly as many pictures as I wanted. But for that moment, that morning, sitting there with my tea, just taking in my local history, something positive and memorable coming out of this town, I could barely believe my eyes, reading the joy and happiness something as small as music some guys from my town had spread all over the world.

And here's the closest shot I could get of the center frieze before my camera died:

Thanks, Boys. You give me a lot of reasons to be proud.

Emily Jones, HHS class of 1990.

Brutally, painfully, blindingly, gobsmackingly obvious quote of the day

Bill Frist ... says he gets more respect when he goes by "Doctor" than when he goes by "Senator."

I swore I wouldn't do it

I swore up and down. I've studiously tried to avoid it, despite being all over the news. But when I heard about this, I just couldn't resist.

Maybe it "sucks to the highest degree", but Mitch looks like a big ol' friendly sort.

Heh heh heh.

Way cool

Hey all, guess who has an actual credit page at IMDB!

For those few of you who don't recognize her whole name, it's this lovely lady.

Rock 'n' Roll American Folksong Trivia

Wiped. I got nuthin' else. So here's a trivial question from one of my favorite old-time folk songs.

When the captain said "I believe that mountain's cavin' in", who laughed at him and said "that ain't nuthin' but my hammer suckin' wind"?

Night all. See you tomorrow.

Way cool

See here and here. What kid could ask for more?

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (Jerry Lee Lewis edition)

Well, I decided to just post this before I leave work rather than wait until later. Same basic formula:

1. Goodness, gracious, what? [Ricki get the correct answer, "Great Balls of Fire"]

2. [Especially for Mr. Bingley] If you got chicken in the barn, what's goin' on? [And Mr. B gives an incorrect, yet oddly accurate, answer] [Alan also does not have the answer I was looking for, but I like the way that man thinks] [And Ricki goes ahead and fills in the answer: there is, indeed, a whole lotta shakin' goin' on]

And for the toughie, I'm going to get away from his well-known stuff. This one is more associated with other folks and the only Jerry Lee version I've heard is a duet with Dennis Quaid on the movie compilation (but JLL did record it for his first album).

3. If blue ain't the word for the way you feel, what's wrong with your arms and what are they doing? [And, because no one has gotten it, the SPOILER: Your arms are crazy and they're reaching for somebody new. Great song, you can hear different snippets here and here]

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (Beach Boys Edition)

So I think I've used up all the good questions I can think of from my new CD collection, so I'm going by memory on other stuff I like. And tomorrow, if I have time and energy after work, I may just do a Jerry Lee Lewis edition.

Once again, two gimmes and a tougher (I think) one:

1. She's cruising through the hamburger stand and forgot about the library. What's she driving?

2. I saved my pennies and dimes. What did I buy?

And the (slightly) tougher one four questions:

3. My grandfather and me roamed around where? In what? And what were we doing all night, and what did we get into after that?

And for the record, this last one is my absolute favorite BB tune.

Addendum, just because I decided I want to: What happened to the cook and what two things did he do?

The Stanley Cup

Here are some fun facts about the Stanley Cup from the NHL. Here are some that are even more fun. Given the number of times the Cup's been peed on, shit in, tossed off of buildings, thrown into swimming pools, and, let's face it, considering the travel miles and hours of parties it has logged, probably been puked on a time or two, I'm really surprised at the number of people that have been willing to drink and eat from of it.

It's even had geraniums planted in it. And if I ever meet this Jackie "The Jokeman" Martling assface in real life, I'm going punch the snot out of him.

Wahoo!

Wahoo!

Just for today, I shall set aside the banjo.

"Friday FFOT thread cancelled"

Sad, I know. I suggest you go here to vent.

BAHAHAHAHA!

UPDATE: It's back on. The lovely Michele has offered to host one this week. Have at it, kids! ICIP is an FO-free zone this week.

Another update: And if you're feeling excessively happy and just want to have some fun, go here.

Friday Fuck Off Thread Cancelled

Still running around. The Friday Fuck-Off Thread is officially CANCELLED tomorrow alone. Find another place to complain. I will have none of it this week, this EVENT. The Stanley Cup is in California.

If any other blogger wants to offer their space for vulgarity's sake, feel free to e-mail us with the links to add here. There will be no complaining allowed this week at Pints.

The Stanley Cup is in California.

Jiggy Jr.

Okay, this picture is just too friggin' cute not to post:

That's Ducks goalie Jean-Sebastien Giguere with his little guy decked out in team colors.

UPDATE: This is great. Our buddy Nightfly: "the best picture of a goalie since Jim Craig wore a flag."

And what the hell. While I'm on the hockey high, might as well post that most excellent moment in sports history as well.

I found it

I was talking to a coworker and I don't remember exactly why but I flashed on one of my favorite commercials of all time. It was shown for only a very brief time before it got yanked, probably because some dork complained about it.

Anyway, I thought I'd go looking for it on Youtube. Sure enough, someone posted it. Enjoy.

My Boys

Champions:

The Cup

Lord Stanley,
Welcome to California. How can I make your visit more pleasant?

We have the Stanley Cup In Southern California. I am at peace.

No, I didn't miss it

But I'm not as good at this kind of stuff as some others. Go here and here, for starters.

Then get down on your knees and thank your own personal lord/god/deity/other that you live in a country where such people live.

Bring It Home

I love this picture:

Back in black:

Welcome home, boys. Do us proud!

Comment of the Day

From Ravenwood, commenting on John Edwards's odd perceptions of what are rights and what are privileges:

Notice how all his “rights” require something be seized from someone else via the government.

Now that's funny!

From last night's debate, heard it on the radio on the way to work, found it at yahoo (I can't figure out how to like directly, but it's currently the first one that shows up in the search results, called "Debate: Abortion Question Silenced Giuliani?").

Giuliani was responding to a question on abortion, there was some static and his microphone went out. It was lightning. Giuliani looked up, all the other candidates stepped away from him and Giuliani said, "For someone who went to parochial schools all his life, this is a very frightening thing."

Burn the Memer!

I'll be dogged. Got tagged again by our resident papist Joel. Well, it's hard to remember back ten years ago, but o-TAY, here goes:

Pets:
1997: Guinea pigs.
2007: Mah dawg.

Largest Concern:
1997: Raising two kids.
2007: Putting two kids through college.

Biggest problem:
1997: Staying awake.
2007: But I repeat myself.

What I do for fun:
1997: Watch shows I've taped on VCR.
2007: Watch shows I've taped on VCR.

My advice to the "youth of America"
1997: Get a job.
2007: Get a job.

My politics:
1997: Leaning libertarian.
2007: Leaning libertarian with a greater urge to kill certain sectarian factions. And less tolerance of dissenting stupid opinions.

Message to the President:
1997: Christ. Just fucking resign already.
2007: Keep Start killing the bastards, for chrissake.

Tagging: Hell, I don't know. Maybe I'll think of someone in the cold light of day tomorrow.

Oh cripes

It's still there. GAWDAWMIGHTY I hope this is a rumor.

But what that Farker said is still funny.

WOOT!

Look who turned five today!

Emily, spank the boy, please.

UPDATE: And while you're at it, spank this boy too. I mean, he's like, a year away from dead and all. Little twerp.

Ducks

If things keep going this well, I may not have a fuck off on Friday for the third week in a row.

So what do you think?

I think store-bought is okay.

It's better if it's free, of course.

But still and all, nothing beats home cookin'...

Stumped

Wow. I seem to have stumped (and I don't mean this kind of stumped) everyone with the question "Who's the chick in the yellow dress?" Hell, it would have stumped me too. So I'm leaving the question open at least until tomorrow morning. Ten hundred thousand million billion trillion jillian gazillion points to anyone who gets it without cheating.

Call now. Operators are standing by. Not that the lazy unionized bastards will actually answer a phone. Time's up. And the answer is...

[drum roll]

"Sweet Georgia Brown"

Kudos to Dave for at least having the decency to cheat.

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (yet again)

Yeah, well, I was at work today so I'm breaking my self-imposed rule of once a week. And seriously, I really didn't expect to get a ride in today but I really felt the need so I did that in lieu of all the stuff I should have done around the house. Unlike some other things in life, that stuff will not go away if I ignore them so it's all good. Especially good now that I've started in on three of the four basic food groups.

Anyhoo, despite the fact that there are, at this very moment, two questions still open from my last foray into RnRT, here we go again. I'm not taking material off this particular CD set this time, just some other stuff that popped into what passes for my mind today.

1. In every port I own the heart of at least one lovely girl. What am I?

2. Who passed my by one sunny day and flashed her big brown eyes my way?

At this point, some of you may sense a theme.

3. If she asks you why, you can tell her that I told you what?

And you may be sorely disappointed, especially since some may dispute the appellation of "Rock 'n' Roll" for that last one, me included.

Still and all, have at it kids, I'm ready to drop.

Damn

I forgot to do this yesterday. Shortly before 1 p.m., I received this "breaking news" alert from the SacBee (emphasis mine):

The U.S. Coast Guard is investigating a report of a dead whale seen floating near the Golden Gate Bridge. The report came in at 5:30 a.m. Friday from a civilian vessel. The obvious concern is that it may be Delta or Dawn, the mother and calf humpback whales that spent two weeks in the Sacramento River and are believed to have returned to the Pacific Ocean sometime Tuesday night.

Oh, wait. Long about 3 p.m. I get this:

A dead whale seen floating west of the Golden Gate Bridge early Friday has been confirmed to be a California gray whale - and therefore not one of the humpbacks that roamed the Sacramento River for two weeks.

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (Coasters Edition, updated)

Once again, after my bike ride with the Rock 'n' Roll CD, it's time for Rock 'n' Roll Trivia, a new tradition that will continue as long as my attention span las ... ooh, donuts.

Where was I? Oh yeah, Rock 'n' Roll Trivia. Today's edition will, once again, have two gimmes and what I believe to be a tougher question.

On second thought, fuck that. It's the friggin' Coasters [genuflect] for Cripe's sake. I got a veritable shitload of questions! Some gimmes, some tough, let's just see how it shakes out.

1. We've already established that it was Charlie Brown who walks in the classroom cool and slow (and who, by the way, calls the English teacher "Daddio"), but who's down on his knees in the boys' gym yelling "seven, come eleven"? (Ricki sees that I tried to fool you - it's Charlie Brown again)

2. Five-and-a-half part question (hey, shut up man, it's the friggin' Coasters!) and you must get all of them for full credit:

a. What happens if you don't take out the papers and the trash? ()

b. What happens if you don't scrub that kitchen floor? (You ain't gonna rock and roll no more)

c. What happens if you don't get all that garbage out of sight? (You don't go out Friday night)

d. Just put on your coat and hat and do what? And what do you do when you've finished doing that? (Walk yourself to the laundromat, then bring in the dog and put out the cat)

e. What do you tell your hoodlum friends outside? (You ain't got time to take a ride)

3. Who comes on like a rose, but will get you in Dutch when she comes creepin' around late at night? (Ricki got it - Poison Ivy)

4. Who can't I get out of my mind? (Thornharp gets it - Young Blood)

5. Who's that chick in the yellow dress? [Full confession here: I never knew the Coasters covered this one and, truth be told, was never really certain that it actually had lyrics]

6. Who has a picture of a cowboy tattooed on her spine that says "Phoenix, Arizona, 1949"? Bonus question: How many kids does she have and what do they do all day? (Ricki got it - Little Egypt. She has seven kids and they crawl on the floor singing "ye-ah ye-ah gitchy gitchy")

7. Sherlock Holmes and Sam Spade got nothin' on me, nor do Sergeant Friday, Charlie Chan, and Boston Blackie. No matter where she's hiding she'll hear me coming because I'll be walkin' down that street like whom? (Ricki again - Bulldog Drummond, and I really expected no one to get this one)

And one of my all time favorites:

8. Salty Sam was tryin' to stuff Sweet Sue in a burlap sack. Then he grabbed her and then he tied her up, and then he threw her on the railroad track, and then a train started comin', and then... and then what happened? (Once again, the wonderful Ricki - "and then along came Jones", and again, I expected no one to get this one)

Have at it, kids. I got dinner to cook.

UPDATE: Major kudos to Rob the Barbarian and the Lovely Ricki, and to Thornharp. C'mon, kids, only two one more!

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

Jeebus. I almost forgot. I still got nothing, but you guys have at it.

Ooh -rah!

Right on, Oleg!

Via Deb.

Move along

Nothing to see here. [whistle whistle]

Wow. It almost glows in the dark.

Ridiculous headline of the day (updated)

I don't know if it's just a dumb headline writer or if she actually thinks she needed to say something like this, but presented without commentary:

Clinton pushes innovation to Silicon Valley leadership