The Friday Fuck Off Thread

We've spent countless entries here bitching about the "I'm the only person in the world" types, but this morning at the grocery store, I got hit by all of 'em. The block-the-aisle guy, the talk-loud-on-the-cell-phone chick, the clueless moron who waited until everything was scanned and bagged before bothering to get out their check book, the clerk who thinks "I have to be here for eight hours; why shouldn't you?" Dude, I just want to pay for my sandwich and go to work, not navigate an Olympic level slalom course of selfish assholes.

And my obnoxious, loud, rude, stupid neighbor has recently decided that he doesn't need to bother knocking - he just opens the door and walks in like he's Larry from "Three's Company." Now I have to be mindful of always keeping the door locked. What's next? Helping himself to the fridge and putting his feet up on the table? Where do some people get off?

Ugh. I need the three day weekend. What about you?

This just in

Tim Blair is still a Barbra Streisand style communist.

Jeff is right

They should not fall behind.

how to signal you want gay sex

gay under stall signals

You're welcome, Mr. B. Use your power wisely.

UPDATE: On reflection, it occurs to me that it's really a shame that the Honorable Mr. Craig is not an elf, because Mr. B could be right up there with Sheila and us.

Quote of the day

So I got home from work tired, cranky, pissed, and far too sober (the last one easily remedied),

Then I clicked over to Michele's to check on the evolution of the list. You should do the same and contribute, and why haven't you done it yet? Hell, even I contributed some golden oldies.

Anyway, I started poking around for more ideas to contribute, specifically Motown ideas. There was never a more fertile ground of goodness, musical pleasure, and sheer unadulterated talent in one place (so to speak) than Motown. And I came across this quote of the day. It comes from some time back (about 13 years ago, I gather) but it's a gem for all ages.

Speak it, Smokey:

When we were first successful with it, people were coming from Germany, France, Italy, Mobile, Alabama. From New York, Chicago, California. From everywhere. Just to record in Detroit. They figured it was in the air, that if they came to Detroit and recorded on the freeway, they'd get the Motown sound. Listen, the Motown sound to me is not an audible sound. It's spiritual, and it comes from the people that make it happen.

And it's still beautiful, sir.

Friday came early this week

The California atate legislature can FUCK THE FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK OFF.

After nearly two hours of passionate debate, the California Assembly approved legislation Monday to ask voters whether they support ending the Iraq War and immediately withdrawing troops.

Of course. Now that the change in tactics seems to be showing some good results.

The advisory measure by Senate President Pro Tem Don

"Pistol packin' treasonous scumbag"

Perata previously passed the Senate,

Treasonous scumbags

which is expected to concur in amendments Thursday and send the bill to Gov. Arnold

"Noted Kennedy family member"

Schwarzenegger.

The governor has not announced whether he will sign Senate Bill 924.

Then the governator is a ass.

The legislation, designed for the Feb. 5 ballot, would be advisory -- not legally binding.

Oh. Gee. No. Shit.

If placed before voters, however, the measure is likely to be closely watched because it polls voters in the nation's largest state and marks the only statewide referendum on the Iraq War.

This would be the same state that keeps sending Barbara "Dimmest bulb in the Senate" Boxer back to Washington.

Specifically, SB 924 asks whether President Bush should end the U.S. occupation of Iraq and begin the "immediate, complete, safe and orderly withdrawal" of troops...

..."and allow queer-killing, medievel, misogynist, clitoris-chipping barbarians to run rampant..."

The bill also asks whether the United States should provide the "necessary diplomatic and nonmilitary assistance to promote peace and stability in Iraq and the Middle East."

..."by allowing queer-killing, medievel, misogynist, clitoris-chipping barbarians to run rampant..."

Monday's Assembly vote was largely along party lines, 43-32, with no Republicans supporting SB 924. Assemblywoman Nicole Parra, D-Hanford, was the only Democrat to oppose it.

Jesus. One sane Democrat in the whole state legislature. How pathetic.

Merle Haggard (followup)

I didn't mention it in the Trivia Quiz, but there is one Merle song I was actually looking for because I found it somewhat amusing when I heard it. It's one of the latest Merle songs I ever heard, but it was quite some time back (80s, IIRC). Oddly, it was on absolutely none of the CDs available at the local Borders when we visited.

Granted, it's not one of his best efforts, but it is an amusing little tune and is probably known to the Merle fans in the audience, so I'm going to pose this one single question. Presupposing all of the following preconditions:

When the world wide war is over and done and the dream of peace comes true,
When they find out how to burn water and the gasoline car is gone,
When an airplane flies without any fuel and the satellite heats our home,
One of these days when the air clears up, and the sun comes shinin' through,
When people start doin' what they oughta be doin' and they won't be booin' no more,
When a President goes through the White House door and does what he says he'll do,

when all of these preconditions happen, what will we be doing?

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (Bland, inoffensive pop songs [I] edition)

UPDATE: One more guessed today

I mentioned before that I picked up a new collection of bland, inoffensive pop songs (BIPS) of the 60s. Well, in all fairness, not all of the songs are bland and inoffensive pop songs, but enough are to feed at least a couple of R'n'RT editions. I will not, for this purpose, use those I don’t consider BIPS, but will save them for some future edition not involving BIPS.

And for the record, I will also not tolerate any mockery of my liking of said BIPS, though I will admit I don't actually like some of them, they just happen to make for a good BIPS edition of R'n'RT.

Shut up. I don't want to hear it.

Anyway (and with a nod to Dave Bowman) I'll pop the top on one more beer and dive into it. Since I did a baker's dozen of C/W songs yesterday, today will be exactly half a baker's dozen. Hey, work with me here, I can do that. Especially since most of them will be pretty easy:

1) It's much too groovy to waste running around in the city. What kind of day is it? [Jeff C: It's a Turn Down Day. No, I don't know what the means either.]

2) Who should take me for a trip upon his magic, swirling ship? [Anon: Mr. Tamborine Man]

3) I've heard it all a million times before, so take off your coat and close the door, and don't do what? [Answer: Don't sleep in the subway, darlin'. Because it's disgusting and dangerous down there...]

4) If there's a man who is down and needs a helping hand, all it takes is for you to understand and to pull him though. Well, that's pretty obvious even to a RWDB like me, but what are we shoutin' from the mountain? [Anon: People got to be free]

5) I got no deeds to do and no promises to keep. So what am I doing? [Julie: I'm feelin' groovy. But I still don't know why anyone would write a song about the 59th Street bridge. It's a mystery...]

6) Don't think I'm being funny when I say you got just what you deserve. You thought you were too good but you had a lot of nerve. So what did I do until I thought I'd die? [Michele: Laugh laugh]

6½) Man, talk about your bland, inoffensive pop songs. I couldn't leave this one off this list because it almost literally defines the phrase "bland, inoffensive pop". On the other hand, I couldn't bring myself to give it a whole number by itself, so it is the ½: History has turned a page, the miniskirt's the current thing, and grandmas sit in chairs and reminisce. Uh huh. Whatever. That's all well and good, but what goes on? [Anon: The beat goes on, and yes, I am ashamed to have used this one....]

Sap alert

Okay, I've mentioned before just how much of a sap I am. Want to know why? Because of pictures like this:

That's my Dad with his grandmother. I've mentioned before (more than once) that there is nothing in this world worse than a parent outliving a child. My Dad's great-grandmother outlived his grandmother (pictured) by three years.

For the record, one of my Dad's kids died very young also. I've seen firsthand the toll that can take on a parent.

Country/Western Trivia (Merle Haggard Edition)

[UPDATE: Gentleman (subsp. "whipped") Joel's original comment restored, and the answers guessed so far noted. That leaves Nos. 2 and 9 not yet answered. C'mon, kids, this is MERLE we're talking about here! He turned 70 this year, the least you can do is get them all! Unanswered questions bolded.]

Important life lesson learned.

I spent some time last Sunday afternoon going through family pictures, and spent anywhere from a few minutes to an hour every evening this week doing the same.

The lesson I learned today? Don't follow up a week of being primed for sentimentality (of the borderline-morbid type) by taking a Merle Haggard CD on the weekly bike ride. Picked up that CD at Borders this morning on our roughly quarterly Borders run. Popped it in the player this afternoon, took off on a ride and started crying by the third song. Merle's kind of a bastard that way.

I hadn't listened to Merle in years and though I've long liked his stuff, I'm not familiar with many of his later songs. I had trouble choosing between two different CDs. One had 40 songs, the other had 26, and there was almost complete overlap of the songs I've loved for years. I said almost. Each was missing a song I wanted and it was a difficult choice. I finally decided on the 26-song CD because I couldn't bear the thought of not having my absolute favorite Merle song, which also happens to be the one that made me cry on the ride. In point of fact, though I was primed for it by a week of sorting family pictures, that song has made me cry since the first time I heard it. There's a reason it has become a cliche that country music causes people to drink in bars and this song is one of those reasons.

Anyway, that song and the other one I really wanted are among the questions below. Merle, you're a tear jerking son of a bitch, and we wouldn't have it any other way. And since you hailed from BAKERSfield, we'll have a trivia quiz with a BAKERS dozen of questions:

1) Last Sunday morning a choir from across the street came to sing a few old gospel songs. What did the prisoner ask them to do? [Angie and Joel: He asked them to "sing me back home" - GAWD this song tears me up every time I hear it.]

2) I'd like to settle down but they won't let me. Therefore, what conclusion may I draw from this? [Emily: It follows that I must outrun the law or spend my life in jail. I was actually going for "a fugitive must be a rolling stone", but both are accurate conclusions to be drawn.]

3) Your memory found me much too sober when I was with the one true friend I thought I'd found. Tonight what happened? [Joel: Tonight, the bottle let me down (and let your memory come around)]

4). They both robbed and killed until both of them died, and her poems told of lawmen who lay dying or dead. Who were they? [Joel: Bonnie and Clyde (or so goes their legend...)]

5) It was just long enough to let my heartache mend. Then what happened? [Lisa: Today I started loving you again]

6) In spite of all my Sunday learning, what happened? [Joel: Toward the bad I kept on turnin', till Mama couldn't hold me anymore. Whereupon I turned 21 in prison doing life without parole.]

7) I'd like to hold my head up and be proud of who I am. I paid the debt I owed them but they're still not satisfied. What am I? [Joel: I'm a branded man, out in the cold]

8) Things I learned in a hobo jungle they never taught me in a classroom. This old mental fat I'm chewin' didn't take a lot of doin', but what do I do? [Joel: I take a lot of pride in who I am]

9) They're shining in the sunlight and fading out of sight. Unfortunately, they're also taking you away. What are they?

10) Leather boots are still in style. What won't be seen? [Lisa and Joel: Beads and Roman sandals won't be seen]

11) Let this song I'm singing be a warning. Of what? [Angie and Joel: If you're running down our country, you're walking on the fightin' side of me]

12) I got laid off down at the factory and their timing's not the greatest in the world. But we'll be fine if we do what? [Angie and Joel: If we make it through December]

13) Been working everyday since I was twenty, and I'm tired of these dirty old sidewalks. What is my only request? [Lisa and Joel: Big city, turn me loose. Joel adds some specifics: Turn me loose, set me free somewhere in the middle of Montana, and give me all I've got coming to me (In return for which, you can have my retirement and my so-called Social Security.]

One final comment: While I can sympathize with some other parts of the song, I find the idea that they "don't make a party out of lovin'" to be just a wee bit shortsighted and unfortunate. That's the main reason I can't move there.

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

I don't know if this constitutes a genuine Fuck Off or not, but I was wondering what all the bigoted Euroweenies who would repeatedly insisted that ohmygodAmericansaresostupidandbackwards'causetheydon'thavepassports crowd have to say now that the requirements are changing so that you need a passport to enter Canada and Mexico. Applications have shot through the roof to the point where there's something like a six month delay for people who need one issued.

I'm sure they'll still come up with plenty of reasons to hate us while ironically congratulating themselves for their sophistication as they reduce an entire country down to stereotypes they learned from imported television shows.

Your turn. Let the Fuck Offs fly...

Quote of the day

Overheard in the lunchroom today.

Background: The fellow who is quoted is of French descent, and became an American citizen a few years ago.

Anyway, in response to the question "Do you play basketball", he replied (with a grin):

I'm French. We kick balls, we don't touch them.

Heh. Okay, I've done my share of French-bashing in my time, but that's priceless.

Self Portrait

Hmm. It seems to be all the rage to post a self-portrait. So here goes:

Whack-a-mill

It's the latest craze.

Oh man

I can't wait to get home so I can read this whole complaint in all its loony glory.

Thanks Joel. You made me laugh. A lot.

UPDATE: I have now had a chance to read the whole thing. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Music Stuff

Michele has a new project going, to name her favorite song from each of 300 bands. Here's the list so far. She's looking for suggestions for many styles of pop and rock of different era from the 50s onward, so head over and drop your favorites.

Just for fun (updated more)

[UPDATE: Hmm. As much fun as the mondegreens and 2nd grade jokes are, I'm a bit surprised that no one has guessed yet, so I've added some more] LAST UPDATE: Amazingly, we seems to have stumped the peanut gallery. Spoiler links added for the first four and the very last.]

Taking a couple of minutes between large blocks of work.

Identify these titles:

"The Treasure of C. Errol Madre"

"Tequila Mockingbird"

"The Mess of Adrian Listenger"

I have one more, but I'll save it on the chance that these titles mean nothing to anybody. The last one:

"The Apes of Wrath"

And some more:
"Satan Place"
"Island of the Darned"
"Bronzefinger"
"Absorbe the Greek"
"Valerie of the Dolls"
"Widow Often Annie"
"Rebecca of Funny-Folk Farm"
"How Green Was My Valet"
"What's It All About, Algie?"
"I Am Curiously Yellow"

Also, I moved the bulk of them above the fold, and added what I think HAS to be a spoiler below. Don't peek unless you need to:

"Ice Station Siegfried"

Book 'em, Danno

The lovely CalTechGirl has tagged me with a book meme. This is a wee bit unfortunate since I very rarely have time to actually READ, at least dead tree material. Fortunately, I have my [grumble grumble] commute, during which I listen to a large number of books on tape and CD.

What are you reading right now?
On tape I have W.E.B. Griffin's The Fighting Agents, about O.S.S. operations in World War II. The downside of having it on tape is that it's part of a whole series, not all of which are at the local library.

On dead tree, I checked out a complete set of Dashiell Hammett's novels. I've been trying to read Red Harvest but I'm finding absolutely no time to read it. Some time back I checked out the same book and barely found enough time to finish The Maltese Falcon and The Thin Man.

Do you have any idea what you'll read when you'e done with that?
Nope. I'll just browse the racks to find something.

What magazines do you have in your bathroom right now?
Huh? Do people actually DO that? I always thought it was just a joke from old sitcoms. Get in, get done, get out, that's my motto. Kind of like shopping.

What's the worst thing you were ever forced to read?
I hated anything I was forced to read. I don't do literature classes well. However, it is true that a number of things I was required to read, which I hated at the time, I later picked up and enjoyed because I wasn't forced to do so.

But if I had to pick one thing that was the worst of the worst, I'm going to take a hint from CTG and go with textbooks, two to be exact. One was a chemistry text by Dickerson, Gray, and Haight which we lovingly referred to as "The Little Orange Piece of Shit" (distinguished from "The Big Red Piece of Shit" which was the calculus text).

Bad as it was, though, the LOPS paled before a computer science text I had later. I can't remember the title or author but this book read, seriously, as if the author had merely stapled together lecture notes. And had dropped them and forgotten to sort them correctly before stapling.

What's the one book you always recommend to just about everyone?
I don't go around recommending books without being asked but The Silmarillion would top my list, especially for anyone I know to be a LOTR fan.

Admit it, the librarians at your library know you on a first name basis, don't they?
No. I'm there every week but we have a self-checkout system.

Is there a book you absolutely love, but for some reason, people never think it sounds interesting, or maybe they read it and don't like it at all?
I can't think of any right off.

Do you read books while you eat? While you bathe? While you watch movies or TV? While you listen to music? While you're on the computer? While you're having sex? While you're driving?
Only when I'm alone on a trip.
No.
No, I like to focus on one or the other.
Yes.
No.
Not since high school.
No, and I tend to force off the road those idiots who do. Well, not really but I can dream.

When you were little, did other children tease you about your reading habits?
No, but they probably should have. I was a pretty voracious reader. I once read for about eight hours straight; seriously, no bathroom break or anything. Once, when I was in about third or fourth grade, my class went to the school library. We all picked out books to read, and when I looked up from mine a different class was in there.

What's the last thing you stayed up half the night reading because it was so good you couldn't put it down?
Not sure, it's been a long time since that has happened. It may have been LOTR but it was probably a non-fiction book.

CTG added some additional questions to the original list:

What book have you stayed up all night NOT reading (because it disturbed you in some way)? Has a book ever entered your dreams?
I can't recall either happening, but probably the most disturbing book I ever read was Iris Chang's The Rape of Nanking.

What book/ series would you like to write an ending too? Or rewrite? I'm not strictly talking about fanfic, just this: given the opportunity, which stories would you like to work on?
Can’t come up with anything right off, maybe I'll add something later.

Best book to movie transition? And as a corollary, what books should NEVER be a movie?
The first part is easy: Stephen King's The Dead Zone. A book that should NEVER be a movie? Well, only because it would be absolutely impossible to do it in any coherent way is The Silmarillion.

Do you prefer one-off novels or character-driven series books? What's your favorite book series?
Either, it just depends on the book. My favorite series varies with what I'm reading at the moment, but I'll go with Bernard Cornwell's Richard Sharpe series (with Sue Grafton's alphabet murder series as #2).

Which book character do you see yourself as most like? How about when you were a kid?
For shits and giggles, I'll say Milo Minderbinder, but I suspect a more appropriate answer would be Major Major Major Major. As a kid, too.

Ever NOT want to finish a book because you were desperately afraid that the author was going to take it somewhere you didn't like? Ever fling a book at the wall because that happened?
No on both counts, but it reminds me of the one time I was utterly, utterly, UTTERLY FURIOUS at a work of fiction. Not a book, an episode of Steven Spielberg's "Amazing Tales" TV series. I'm getting angry again even now. Nearly a full show of the most suspenseful, gripping, terrifying drama I've ever seen in my life, resolved in the last two minutes in the most ridiculous, inane, frickin' stupid way possible. It made me want to take the writers, producers, actors, production staff, and all their families unto the seventh generation and feed them into a wood chipper.

Someday when I've calmed down, perhaps I'll post about it.

I know I should tag somebody, but I'll pass for the moment and maybe do so later.

Another weird quiz

This time stolen from Joel. Frankly, I expected closer to zero Calvin.

Link: The Calvin Or Hobbes Test written by gwendolynbooks on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Eh, I'll skip the dating stuff. I gots me a better lady at home.

Christ, I am such a sap

I am such a frickin' sap. I set aside some time this afternoon to go through family pictures. It's a job I am dreadfully far behind on, my goal is to scan and send them to living relatives.

Some of the pics are of relatives I knew, some of relatives I know of, some of people I don't know at all. All of them make me cry. I'm such a frickin' sap.

Country/Western Trivia (Marty Robbins Edition)

[UPDATE: Angie gets extra-double-sooper-dooper-Hobbesian bonus points for successfully injecting particle physics into a Marty Robbins thread. I'm still just a wee bit surprised no one has gotten No. 4 yet, that's one of my all time favorites.]

[Further update: Last of the answers added]

Yeah, I know I did, in effect, a Marty Robbins Edition recently. But that one was strictly focused on Gunfighter Ballads. Marty did a lot more than that. There's also the fact that I picked up a new CD collection today at Costco. This was not a country music collection, though, more like bland, inoffensive pop songs from the 60s. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I happen to like a lot of bland, inoffensive pop songs from the 60s, but since I just had a R'n'RT yesterday, it didn't seem right to just do another R'n'RT today. However, you may expect a R'n'RT (Bland, Inoffensive, Pop Songs Edition), or perhaps more than one, since it's a six CD collection, in the near future.

For today, though, I'm dedicating this C/WT edition to the late, great Marty Robbins. I'll try to be good and not repeat any I've used already, but no promises. Also, no particular order but that which my enfeebled mind comes up with.

1) You bitch. Not that the good and kind-hearted Marty would ever use that particular epithet. But I have absolutely no compunctions about using it. You bitch. Once you told me, long ago, you'd do this with me. And how did I dress up for it? Bitch. [Mike: You told me long ago to the prom with me you'd go, so I got all duded up in a white sport coat and a pink carnation. And the bitch dumped me.]

2) I never felt more like crying all night. What's wrong, and what's right? And what do you have me doing? [Joel gets a partial: You've got me singin' the blues, but the rest of the question is still open] [Rest of the answer: Everything's wrong and nothing ain't right without you]

3) How can you leave without regret, am I what? [Answer: Am I that easy to forget?]

4) He came to ride a horse, the one they called the Brute. Who is he? [Answer: I'm shocked, shocked that no one got this one; he is, of course, the Cowboy in the Continental Suit]

5) From thirty thousand feet above the desert floor, I see it there below. What? [Mike: El Paso City]

6) Hands that are strong but wrinkled, hair that's lost some of its beauty. She's the foundation I lean on. Who is she? [Joel and Angie: My woman, my woman, my wife]

7) When evening chores are over at our ranch house on the plains, I saddle up my pony and do what? [Full disclosure: I didn't know Marty sang this one, I found it while confirming lyrics] [Answer: I'm not surprised no one got this one, I think it's pretty obscure, but in fact I saddle up my pony and go Ridin' Down the Canyon; a lovely song indeed]

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (Redneck edition)

[UPDATE: Last of the answers added]

Well, drove up to spend the day helping Daughter Number Two move to her new apartment. Very warm day, lots of sweat equity in moving furniture and stuff. Now I'm tired and sore. Didn't get to take a ride with a CD, so I'm just taking an inspiration from what I heard on the radio while driving there and back. Well, inspiration may be a strong word. Let's just say that I'm pulling stuff right off the top of my head with little thought to how tough they might be. And I don't think many of them will be too tough.

1) Honey don't just stand there lookin' like this dream will never end. Honey, let me do what? [Answer: Honey, let me introduce you to my redneck friend; a rather apropos opener, don't you think?]

2) Who don't a southern man need around, anyhow? [Joel: Neil Young, indeed]

3) I never read it in a book, I never saw it on a show. Where did I hear it? [Joel is on the right track, but not enough info for full credit] [Answer: Joel was on the right track but in point of fact, I heard it in the alley on the weird radio; and also, in point of fact, it's now in my rock and roll]

4) I was born in the back seat of what, and where was it rolling? [KG: The backseat of a Greyhound bus rolling down Highway 41. Joel gets some points, though, for an incorrect but very cool answer]

5) Who jumped up on a hickory stump, and what did he say? [Joel: The Devil jumped up on a hickory stump and said "Boy, let me tell you what". See Joel's comment for the aftermath]

6) If I got one more silver dollar, who am I? [Alan: Midnight rider]

7) I’ve got the pedal to the floor, I’m out of money, I’m out of hope, and it looks like self destruction. What am I doing? [Not the answer I'm looking for, but Alan has a good one!] [Answer: Beyond Alan's answer, I'm flirtin' with disaster]

Goodnight, all.

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

I don't really have anything today. It's sunny, we're firing up the BBQ at lunch, and the weekend is here.

But if you've got something, the FFOT is open for business.

Completely meaningless semi-scientific trivia question that popped into my head this morning for no real good reason

Without the aid of a search engine (duh), can anybody identify the title "The Perils of Modern Living".

Hint: Two names: Harold Furth and Edward Teller, Furth being the author and Teller being the subject (sort of).

I got nuthin' (still)

Being very tired, and disappointed by Bitter's (hopefully short) hiatus from blogging. Also pissed by a burst of comment spam.

The only uside to that spam was that I had to close down the comments here, and I realized that (1) I hadn't updated for the final answers given (since corrected) and (2) I really love that song "Coal Tattoo", more now since I've learned that a number of ancestors migrated from West Virginia to escape the coal mines.

So, having nothing else this evening, here are the lyrics as best I can recollect them from the Larry Groce [genuflect] album Junkfood Junkie. I'm sure some of you can identify with the title track.

Special note: if the lyrics don't quite match what you remember, Groce may have sung them slightly differently, and my memory ain't what it yoosterbe.

Travelin' down that cold highway, listen to my rubber tires whine
Goodbye to buckeye and white sycamore, I'm leavin' you behind
I've been a coal miner all of my life, laid down tracks in the hole
I've got a back like ironwood bent by the wind and blood veins as blue as the coal

Well some people say "That's a strange tattoo you got on the side of your head"
I say "That's a blueprint left by the coal, a little more and I'd been dead"
But I love the rumble and I love the roar, I love the cool of the slate
Now I'm travellin' down that old road just lookin' for a job, it's the travellin' and lookin' that I hate

I stood for the union, you know I walked in the line, I fought against the company
I stood for the UMW of A, now who's gonna stand for me?
'Cause I got no house and I got no job, I've just got a worried soul
And a blue tattoo on the side of my head that's left by that Number 9 coal

Well someday when I'm dead and gone to Heaven, the land of my dreams
I won't have to worry about losing my job to hard times and big machines
And I won't have to throw my money away on dues and hospital plans
I'll just dig coal where blue angels roam and sing with the angel band

NOOOOOOOOO!

NOOOOOOOOO!

"a life of selfless devotion and valor"

Passed along by our buddy The_Real_JeffS is this story of Corporal Sean Stokes. Read it all.

Country/Rock'n'Roll/Bluegrass Trivia (Nitty Gritty Dirt Band Edition)

UPDATE: Spoilers added. What can I say? I'm impatient, though gratified at the answers obtained so far.

Well, how else would you categorize them?

Since I was remiss in not doing a quiz yesterday, I felt kinda bad for you C/W fans who don't get the 50s (etc.) Rock 'n' Roll. I feel especially bad for our buddy KG who knows no music before Jim Croce.

But as I sit here trying to unlax after a miserable, work-filled weekend, I tossed a NGDB album on the old turntable and life is much better. Because I like Rock 'n' Roll. And I like Country/Western. And I like Bluegrass. And the NGDB does them all, and quite well, I might add.

So for those of you who are not familiar with them, pray let me introduce you to them. I'm sure you've heard some of their stuff. We saw them in person at the Mid-State Fair many years ago, when the current college students were mere babes, and they were spectacular as always. Of course, one problem with them, as with so many bluegrass artists, is that much of what they play is instrumentals. Unfortunately, instrumentals don't lend themselves well to trivia quizzes. Be that as it may, we shall persevere and endeavor to amuse and entertain you with a proper trivia quiz, hobbled only by our adherence to songs with actual lyrics, and with proper homage to the classic lineup of [genuflect] Jeff Hanna, John McEwen, Jim Ibbotson, and Jimmie Fadden, and with a special shoutout to the late, great Uncle Charlie and his dog Teddy. May they rest in eternal peace.

No particular order, except that the TOTALLY obvious ones will come first (and the fact that I actually have in hand only two albums, but will use my further knowledge for other questions as well):

1) Who did I meet in a cell in New Orleans when I was down and out? [Boy Named Sous: Mr. Bojangles]

2) It's a crazy feelin' and I know it's got me reelin'. What am I so glad about? [Answer: I'm so glad that you're revealin' your love for me]

3) As far as I can see, there's no reason for goodbye. All this talk about leaving is strictly bad news, so what should you do? [Answer: Settle down and stay with the boy that loves you]

4) Who was Mickey murdered by (to the tune of "Cripple Creek")? [Answer: To the tune of Cripple Creek, he was murdered by a man from Santa Rosa]

5) I've known of all the heartheaches and I've known of all the pain. When have I seen you? And what have I seen you do? [Answer: I've seen you when the sun shines and I've seen you when it rains, and I've seen you make a look of love from just an icy stare (and, BTW, I've known you for a long time but I've just begun to care)]

6) I wandered much further today than I should. Where can't I find my way back to? [Julie: My way back to the wood (specifically, the Three Acre Wood)]

7) I thought I'd give my love to anyone today but when it came to you one thing was for sure. What are your little games like? [Answer: It's like taking sick when nobody knows the cure]

8) We took a little bacon and we took a little beans and what did we do? [Boy Named Sous: We fought the bloody British in the town of New Orleans]

9) Buy for me the crystal pools that fall upon the lane. What will I buy for you? [Answer: I'll buy for you a rainbow and a million pots of gold - if you've never heard this song, you owe it to yourself to track it down]

10) I was standing by my window on one cold and cloudy day. What did I see come rolling by and why? [Shit. I'm crying now] [Mike: I saw the hearse come rolling for to carry my mother away]

11) We're steppin' by the river where the woodchucks go. Down where? [Answer: Down by the Yukon Railroad]

12) El Dorado fins, whitewalls and skirts; drives just like a little bit of heaven here on earth. When I die, buddy, throw my body in the back of what? [Bill: Throw it in the back of my Cadillac (which, of course, will thereafter tear up the highway like a big ol' dinosaur)]

13) Clifton Clowers has a pretty young daughter and is mighty handy with what? [Mike: He's mighty handy with a gun and a knife]

14) Ain't no place you can hide where I can't find you, and ain't no place you can get where I won't see. Even if you're marooned in space, I'll come and get you. Girl, you may as well do what? And (just for a bonus) I'm going to wrap my arms around you like what? (Minor hint: Eww) [Answer: You may as well resign yourself to me. Truly, a stalker's theme song. Oh, and for the EWW part, I'm going to wrap my arms around you like two gooey old band-aids]

15) Hmm. Where do I have to pull a pirogue? And what will I do with it? [Joel: Me gotta go pull the pirogue down the bayou, and for the record, with that pirogue I'll catch all the fish in the bayou]

DAYUM! I'm enjoying listening to these guys! And so I'm going to throw out a SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION!. And that special bonus question is:

Identify any or all of the following people and explain to whom they are important and why: Old Dan Wheelin', Little Jimmy Wheezer, and Big Tom Sargent. [Amazing Mike: They are the fiddlin' competition for the Mountain Whippoorwill] [One additional note on this one: As many of you well know, I normally detest sappy songs, or in this case, sappy spoken verse; there are, however, rare exceptions to that rule and this is one of those exceptions]

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (I got nuthin' edition)

UPDATE: Answers added just like in the one above, because I'm an impatient cuss.

Well, yesterday I took my normal bike ride, after working for hours on the solar heating system for the pool. I thought I had fixed it, but there was one small leak left. Grrrr. That's really irritating. Anyway, I couldn't come up with anything so I thought I'd just give it a rest overnight and see what popped into my poor little pea brain.

So this morning I went to work (working on the weekend sux, btw) and tried to come up with something in the middle of running assays and equipment and such. Didn't happen. Then about four hours into it, the Sainted Bride called to say the solar panels were spewing vast quantities of water. Grrr². Well as it turns out, being on the brink of exhaustion from this kind of nonsense, I was already tired of work for the day so I said "piss on it" and went home a little while later. Not that I accomplished nothing at work, I did accomplish some, but my heart wasn't in it so I trucked for home to confront TASKS OF HOME REPAIR™.

Turns out that I'm basically incompetent at such things, kinda like Tim Taylor. I can do some stuff, but my jerry-built fix for the solar panels came unglued. So to speak. I think I have it patched for the moment but I will need to rethink the system for the mid-term. Long-term solution, of course, is to hire professionals who know what they're doing to do it right. Unfortunately, that requires positive cash flow, which will require kids getting out of college and becoming self-supporting. Which will happen in due course, but not right now.

All of which is a long-winded way of saying that I got nuthin', so the R'n'R Trivia quiz for the day is Ricky Nelson.

Which is in no way intended to be a slam on the late Ricky, he did some fun and cool stuff, stuff good enough to be covered by others. Stuff I like. Unfortunately, it has become rather hip to consider the entire Nelson family unhip. Tragic, I know, but there you have it. And being the totally unhip person I am, I am hereby doing a Ricky Nelson Trivia.

Couple of small asides:

1) Not long after Ricky died, I read an article in the local fishwrap about older women marrying younger men. I was amused to read the woman who told how, when Ricky Nelson died, she had to explain to her young hubby who he was.

2) Yeah, I joke about how old I am but in point of fact, Ricky's brother David is older than my mother. I know, that doesn't mean I'm not old, just not quite as old as some of you whippersnappers think. Hell, for that matter, Elvis was older than my Mom.

Anyway, with that out of the way, here are some Ricky Nelson Trivia questions, starting easy and getting (I hope) progressively harder:

1) Where did I go to reminisce with my old friends? [Lisa: I went to a garden party. Unfortunately, Yoko showed up.]

2) What do I own in every port all over the world? [Ricki: I own the heart of at least one lovely girl]

3) You make me happy when skies are gray. What are you? [Rob: You are my sunshine - and I didn't cheat on this one, I've heard Ricky's version]

4) You flashed those big, brown eyes my way. What did I say? [Ricki: I said "Hello Mary Lou, goodbye heart"]

5) Where do fools rush in? (BOTH answers required for full credit) [Lisa: Fools rush in where angels fear to tread, and where wise men never go (possible the actual lyric is, as Lisa says, dare not go)]

6) Never, ever be, just couldn't be what? [Answer: Never, ever be, just couldn't be anyone else but you]

7) She played around and teased me with her carefree devil eyes. What was I? [Answer: Poor little fool. Oh yeah, I was a fool. Uh huh. Some things never change]

8) I'm lonely as I can be. What am I waiting for (while I'm hoping that you'll come back to me)? (Minor hint: This song is more associated with another artist, but I've heard Ricky's version and it does credit to the original) [Answer: I'm waiting for your company, because "I'm Walkin'", yes indeed]

9) Well, I've been waitin' ever since eight, guess my baby's got another date. What am I again? [Answer: Stood up, brokenhearted again]

10) They got no way of knowing how lonesome I can be. What do they call me? [Answer: They call me a teenage idol]

And as one last cheater, because I haven't actually ever heard the song but I found it while checking my lyric recollections and it sounded interesting, I assume it's from a movie soundtrack but I really don't know and I thought I'd throw it out to see if anyone knows it:

11) Purple light in the canyon, that is where I long to be with my three good companions. Who? [Angie: My rifle, my pony, and me]

Announcing a contest

[UPDATE: Oops! It does appear that I fell for it! Just goes to show you how hard it is to tell reality from "satirical social commentary". Thanks, mbpk! And yes, Boy Named Sous, iDidindeedfallforit. And thanks to Glenn for the (undeserved) Instalanche!

And yet, the contest continues! Because, of course, it's still fair game to laugh at people who stand in silly lines for hours on end]

Okay, I'm sure we're all tired of the apt but oh-so-couple-of-years-ago term "Crackberry". Yeah, we got some laughs out of it, but it has become obsolete.

Why? Because it seems that the iPhone, for which thousands of moronic people stood in line, for which thousands of moronic people paid good American money, only to be stuck with A-frickin'-T&T, is now making moronic people even more moronic.

So I propose a contest to come up with a new term to mock these teramorons, riffing off the term iPhone. Drop your suggestions in the comments. And pass it on, please. Because this is just about the most ridiculous thing I've seen in my life, outside of the asylum.

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

Nurses who bother women who have just given birth that are otherwise perfectly healthy and just want to SLEEP can fuck off.

As can male clients who call and initiate conversations similar to the following:

"Is He there?"

"No."

"What about Him?"

"No."

"Well, is anybody there?"

Yes, asshole. I am here. And I do the same fucking job they do. In some cases, I even do it better. How many times does somebody have to tell you that before you get it through your dense, macho head? This has happend gawd knows how many times and I am sick of it. It is not 1955. I am not here to just fetch coffee, babysit the phones, and do the filing while waiting for someone to pat me on the ass and call me "sugar."

Tough week, anyone?

Dude, you're killing me here!

Brian has a new Musical Geography Trivia Question up. Once again, I am powerless to answer...

Curse you, provincial trivia knowledge!

A challenge

From Steve Milloy. C'mon, Global Warmmongerers. Put up or shut up.

This amuses me

A comment by Eugene Volokh:

While we're at it, here's one definition from the OED entry on the noun "bugger":

One who commits buggery; a sodomite. In decent use only as a legal term.

Somehow I just found the "In decent use only as a legal term" to be funny (not to say mistaken, just funny).

Somehow, I find it rather appropriate.

Heh heh heh

Payback's a bitch. Via KSFO.

Nephew News

Well, Big Sis just went into labor. Fingers crossed that everything goes okay and the little guy is born perfect. I can't wait to meet him.

UPDATE: He graced us with his presence late in the evening last night and by all accounts is a healthy little man with all fingers and toes intact. I haven't seen him yet, since it was a long labor and Sis needed her rest, but I'm going to visit later in the morning. The whole family is walking on sunshine. I'm sure a few of us were walking on moonshine as well when the news came in.

It's an interesting question

But really, if you actually want the answer, you should ask the expert.

Because I'm a bad person

Okay, I definitely have to wish the Banjophobe all the best in his new home and his new job. All the best Cullen!

And being the evil soul I am, I will follow it up by linking to this*.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

*No banjos were harmed in the making of this comic.

Worship me

If they'd asked one more question, I'd have crushed that other 0.2% too.

Am-I-Dumb.com - Are you dumb?

My mind is a veritable junkyard of useless trivia. And I'm not even buzzed yet.

Via CalTechGirl, who is also in the 99.8th percentile.

Random, meaningless question, apropos of nothing

UPDATE: Hmm. No takers? Okay, the spelling is below the fold. 10 points to anyone who can identify the title of the song after these hints.

Regarding question #10 here, can anyone out there spell "mother"?

Well, the classic version, as written by Ray Wylie Hubbard and performed by several people such as Jerry Jeff Walker and Hank Williams, Jr., spells it this way:

M is for the mudflaps she gave me for my pickup truck
O is for the oil I put on my hair
T is for T-bird
H is for Haggard
E is for eggs, and
R is for REDNECK.

Now, there have been a few other versions. I hesitate to call them exactly parodies because that implies complete trashing of the lyrics, but they are a wee bit different. One I used to have on tape was by Chuck Wagon and the Wheels, recorded live at the "Fat Fry" at the Keystone club in Palo Alto (scroll in the above links for details), and went, to the best of my recollection:

M is for marijuana (Band: "Yay!")
O is for the oil I put all over my girl
T is for tequila
H is for Haggard
E is for eggs,
What's R for? (Band: "REDI-WHIP!")

And finally, there's another version I used to have on tape, which the female disk jockey on KFAT swore never to play again (alas, I can't remember which DJ it was) performed by Steven Fromholz. I'm not familiar with any of his other works, and I'm not sure I want to be, but here is his spelling in all its FAT glory:

M is for the mudflaps she me for my pickup truck*
O is for the oil I put in my very, very dry Tanqueray gin martini on the rocks
T is for titty
H is for hemorrhoid
E is for enema, and
R is for REDNECK.

*Actually, I think he sang something else but danged if I can remember what.

Damn, I wish I still had those old tapes.

Random, meaningless observation, apropos of nothing

Chivalry is not dead. It's just coughing up blood.

Little bro update

He's doing good. Talked to him last night, he's home and been told to not do any strenuous work around the house. I told him that's what his teenage boys are for.

Memories

Wow, what a jar to the old mnemons. Remember this post? As Joes so aptly put it, "We will not drool after their like again."

Well, happily she's still among the living, but Wunderkraut reminded me of another of their like.

Ah, Maureen. You were so pretty as a youngster, you were (and still are, I have no doubt) so much more later. [sigh] Indeed, Joel, we shall not drool after their like again.

Now if you will excuse me, I need to take a strange interlude.

Country/Western Trivia (Amusing lyrics Edition)

UPDATE: The unanswered questions are highlighted answered, and I'm just a wee bit surprised at a couple that haven't yet been guessed. Have at 'em, boys and girls!

Well, just like yesterday, I listened to "Gunfighter Ballads" on my bike ride. Damn, there's some good stuff on that album. But since I've used it recently, I shouldn't do that. Still, the little bro is a bit of a country music fan and so I feel rather obligated to continue my recent pattern of one R'n'R and one C/W trivia post each weekend. Not that I'm promising anything for the future, but I think it's a pretty good bet that I'll continue this pattern for a while. So if you're interested in interesting Rock/Country tidbits, keep checking back each weekend.

With that silly nonsense out of the way, let's move on. More than other genres, C/W is fond of humor. How else to explain Little Jimmy Dickins? But beyond him, even mainstream country singers have often gone for light-hearted humorous stuff. Sometimes this is a humorous broadside, sometimes just a subtle hint.

Just to be fair, I won't delve into actual parody, but I will include some stuff that strikes me as amusing, or at least somewhat droll. If it doesn’t strike you as such, my sincerest apologies but TS.

Heh.

Anyway, here we go, in no particular order but how my puny mind comes up with them:

1) What was the meanest thing my daddy ever did? [Julie: He went and named me Sue]

2) When I headed down main drag I could hear everybody laughin' for blocks around. But up there at the court house they didn't laugh. Why not? [Mike: Because to type it up took the whole staff, and when they got through the title weighed 60 pounds - close enough for rock and roll, Mike]

3) I said "Doc I gotta have my old brain back" and he said "I'm sorry there, Mr. Cash, but I can't do that." Why not? [Answer: Because the Doc transplanted it into a chicken]

4) Who's got a brand new flattop haircut and (lord) thinks he's cool? [Julie: The foreman (actually, I think it's the line boss but it's close enough for rock and roll; the foreman was a regular dog] - HA! Julie posts the correction just as I update this!

5) She's a beauty. No, she's a skag. She has class? Oh come on now, who is she? [Answer: That little Honky Tonk Queen]

6) After I threw my boss out the window (and got fired), I hot-wired a city truck and did what with it? And why, exactly, did I beat my brother-in-law half to death? [Dr. Weevil gets the first part: Hot-wired a city truck and turned it over in the mayor's yard. The second part is actually a somewhat lesser crime than that mentioned, though perhaps not to everybody] [Answer to the second part: I beat my brother-in-law half to death because I lost $20 on his football bet]

7) I'm no Robert Redford, even overhauled, but what happens at closing time? [Angie: The girls all get prettier at closing time]

8) I'm sure it's just my memory playing tricks on me, but I think I saw my buddy doing what? [Answer: I think I saw my buddy cutting down my neighbor's tree, but it could have been the whiskey...]

9) He'll steal your woman then he'll rob your head. Who is he? [Thornharp: Panama Red]

10) He was born in Oklahoma and he's not responsible for what he's doing. What's his wife's name, what does he like to drink, and what does he chase it down with? [Answer: His wife's name is Betty Lou Thelma Liz, he likes to drink Falstaff beer and chase it down with that Wild Turkey liquor]

11) A cowboy is cussin' the pinball machine and a drunk at the bar is gettin' noisy and mean. There's no place I'd rather be than right here with what? [Angie: With my red neck, white socks, and Blue Ribbon beer]

12) I was sittin' in Friday's suckin' on a glass of wine when in walked a chick who almost struck me blind. She had wet blue eyes and her legs were long and fine. What did I give her? [Joel: I gave her a nine, at least until she spoke, then I gave her a two. In fairness, as Joel points out, she ultimately gave me a one and a half]

13) I can't make love to a squealer, so there's just one thing to do. What? [Joel: I'll put on Sheila's red satin dress, after she pours me another tequila, of course]

14) For breakfast I have black coffee and one slice of dry toast. What sure is a rough way to die? [Answer: Dieting, dieting, dieting, dieting sure is a rough way to die]

15) Who never got a kiss, and don't know what he's missed? [Angie: Kaw-Liga, that poor old wooden head who wishes he was still an old pine tree]

A personal note

Thank you all for the kind thoughts and prayers for the little bro - that's "little" in the sense of a few years younger, he's actually a bit larger than I in the muscle department. I haven't heard anything new yesterday or today, and haven't wanted to bother the Sis-in-Law and kids with phone calls. I do know he came out of the surgery well, it was the "in through the femoral artery" kind, no open heart stuff necessary. I'll give a call later this evening.

The surprising thing is that they never caught anything before. He's a firefighter and is required to get a full physical every year, with standard stress tests and whatnot. Granted, this year's was due but they didn't catch anything last year.

Contrast that with yours truly, who gets this kind of stuff done about every 5 or 10 years or so. I suppose this should be a wakeup call to do something. Well, when stuff slows down at work, I guess I will.

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (It'll become apparent Edition)

LAST UPDATE: Rest of the answers added.

UPDATED: Some answers added, the still unanswered questions are highlighted, and as Lisa asks, WTF is Nightfly doing posting on his WEDDING NIGHT???? Oh, and I can't believe I didn't think of this song, which I happen to get a kick out of, so I'm throwing in a couple of bonus questions here:

Bonus #1) The judge an the jury sat me in a room. What did they say?

Bonus #2) When I get out of this prison, gonna be forty-five. What will I know?

I'm somewhat beyond 45. But I still remember...

So as I mentioned before, I stayed home from work today. Listened to "Gunfighter Ballads" again on my ride, so I had no new material. Beyond this, I'm exhausted from work, from working on the solar panels this morning, and from general concern about the little bro. Yeah, I'm sure he'll be okay but problems with the ole ticker are never easy on the worry meter. Especially when said little bro is three years younger than I.

Long story short, I got nuthin' new on the 50s and 60s, either R'n'R or C/W. So I'm going to default to the 70s. Which is okay because the 70s are to most of you as the 50s and 60s are to me.

Pardon me while I take another STRANGE INTERLUDE to bestow some praises on you kids of Generation X, or Y, or whichever one it is now. Seriously. I know something, but not a terrible lot, about music from years before I was born, especially from more than 5 years before I was born (essentially, from before the R'n'R era). I know some small bit about Swing and Jazz and such, but not nearly as much as you kids know about 50s and 60 rock and country. My kids were born in the mid-late 80s and know far more about music from 30 years before they were born than I know about the music of the 20s and 30s. My hat's off to you.

[/STRANGE INTERLUDE]

Anyway, in deference to fatigue and concern, I'm going to fall back on an old favorite from high school. I don't know how many questions I'll come up with, but I'm going to start out tough then get progressively easier until it's sledgehammer-to-the-nose obvious.

1) Who was our regimental bhisti? [Angie: Gunga Din - not many people know that Jim Croce set it to music and recorded it]

Okay, that one is not quite fair. Anybody know why? Let's start over:

1) I keep waitin' for my ship to come in, but what happens? [KG: All that ever comes is the tide]

2) My only boss was the clock on the wall, and my only friend never was what? [Upon reflection, I realize that this was worded a bit poorly, so I've revised it] [Answer: My only friend never really was a friend at all]

3) I couldn't bear to wait around for what? [Answer: For all your nighttime lovers to go to where they came]

4) Sometimes at night I think I hear you calling my name. What keeps me going these days? [KG: These dreams keep me going these days]

5) No more cryin' in your lonely room and no more empty nights. Why? [KG: Because tomorrow morning everything will turn out right, and tomorrow's gonna be a brighter day]

6) Who knows how it feels when you lose a dream? [Answer: I'm Walkin' Back to Georgia, she's the only one who knows how it feels when you lose a dream, and how it feels when you dream alone]

7) Snowy nights and Christmas lights and icy windowpanes make me wish what? [KG: That we could be together again]

8) I've learned at times it's best to bend. Why? [Answer: Because if you don't, well, those are the breaks]

9) Who does 130 MPH smiling at the camera? [KG: Rapid Roy, that stock car boy]

10) I lived there about a year and I never once felt at home. Where? [KG: New York, it's not my home]

11) If you'd only send me some money I'll be back on my feet again. Send it in care of the what? [Answer: Send it in care of the Sunday Mission, Box Number Ten]

12) He'll have to be a super guy, or maybe what? [KG: Or maybe a super god]

13) Your silver tongue has turned to clay. What has turned to rust? [Lisa: Your golden rule has turned to rust]

14) I should be sittin' in an air conditioned office in a swivel chair doing what? [KG: Talkin' some trash to the secretary, sayin' "Hey now, mama come on over here..."]

15) If the number on the matchbook is old and faded, where is she living and with whom? [Nightfly: Living in LA with my best old ex-friend Ray]

16) Like the whippoorwill and the baby's cry, what do I have? [Nightfly: I got a song]

17) The bowery got its bums and 42nd Street got who? And what is he? [Nightfly: Big Jim Walker, who happens to be a pool-shootin' son of a gun]

18) If the downtown ladies call him "treetop lover", what do the men call him? [Nightfly: All the men just call him "sir"]

Now that's just weird

So I went for my usual Saturday bike ride, having gotten (FINALLY!) a respite from working on the weekend. Don't know that that'll happen again soon.

Anyway, I was perusing our collection of vinyl looking for an inspiration for a trivia question. I didn't get one on the bike ride because I listened again to this one. Interesting thing I had noticed about it that I didn't mention before. The full-length version of "El Paso" is in mono, the shorter version is in stereo. Other than that, I can't tell a difference between the two; I suspect, but can't tell for certain, that the shorter version was an edit of the longer version.

Anyway, as I said, I was browsing the vinyl collection, having tossed a Simon and Garfunkel album on the new turntable, and came across an album I don't remember. Well, that's not quite true, I remember seeing at least the tiny, thin end of the jacket and the name, "Hard Goods". I have never listened to it, its being one of those the Sainted Bride owned before we met. Today I pulled it out and checked out the contents. It's a two-record collection of stuff I've mostly never heard.

STRANGE INTERLUDE: Just because it popped into my head. Has anyone out there actually ever heard anything by Spooky Tooth? I used to see the name on record sleeves, and I know it's the band that Gary Wright ("Dream Weaver") once played with. I've never, so far as I know, ever actually heard anything by them, but I love the name of one of their songs I've never herd: "You Broke My Heart So I Busted Your Jaw".

Strange interlude aside, here's the weird part: it's mostly late-60s to early 70s hard rock (hence the name). There's Ted Nugent, there's Robin Trower, there's Foghat. Not completely hard rock, though. There's also a John Denver political tune from his days with the Chad Mitchel Trio (actually, shortly after I think). There's a Beach Boys song I've never heard entitled "Vegetables". There's even something by Terry Melcher (??? - holy crap).

But the very last song on side four, right after a Robin Trower song that I've never heard before ("About to Begin") is, and I swear on a stack of [take your pick of religious books]:

"As Time Goes By", by Dooley Wilson. The original from the movie, with some movie dialogue serving as an intro.

Now THAT is weird.

A "Charity" Event

I haven't had a good reason to hate the L.A. Kings since Sean Avery was traded to the Rangers. I do now. You might want to check out a "charity" before you jump into bed with them, guys. Maybe find out a little about their origins and purpose. Either you didn't bother to do that, or somebody running your organization is a Clam themselves.

Disgusting. Dis-fuckin-gusting.

(Link stolen from Cult News)

UPDATE: I just visited the Kings' message board attached to their official site to see if fans were reacting in any way. At least one person posted the same links I did above in criticism, followed by this: "And mods, please stop deleting the opinions about this dangerous organization. If you are going to promote for people to go and give them their money, you should let dissenting opinions be heard." So, if the mods are deleting any reference to the Clams and any criticism of the "charity" of N*rc*n*n, you have to wonder...

shocker

My little brother had a heart attack last night.

He's doing okay, got a couple of stents, and should go home by Sunday.

But it's a shocker.

Countdown

This is for Michele:

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

Insomnia can fuck off.

That's all that I can muster this week. Take it away.

Heh heh heh

I love it.

Someday, I will have a chance to hit the range with Jeff. When he puts a bullet dead center of the target I'm going to say "Dude, that is so gay."

Keif

Pshaw. As if Keith Richards could possibly remember enough about his life to fill a whole book.

And Kevin Lowe just may be the only Earthly organism besides cancer to own the FFOT two weeks in a row. Even with the draft picks as compensation, I'm pissed off. Enjoy your $ 4 million lemon, Edmonton. You paid for a Bentley and you're getting a Honda. I hope Brian Burke sends Brad May to kick Lowe's ass. So long, Dusty. Thanks for helping us win the Cup.

Oh god

My wife's coworker died recently. It was a shock, because even into June no one knew just how sick she was. Perhaps she didn't realize it herself. She was in her 60s, so it's not like she's a child but that's still young nowadays.

In the last few weeks it became apparent to those in the loop during the summer recess that she was dying. Still it was a shock.

But that's not why this post is titled so. The Sainted Bride, just now was talking to a former coworker and I overheard the part that got to me.

Her mother is still alive, and is hosting the memorial service at her own house.

There are few, if any, things in this world worse than outliving your own children.

There are no words

Oh. Except "traitor".

I'd Rather Hear About Starlets in Rehab

Okay, after days and days of headline news - and I mean front page, bold face, all caps HEADLINE! NEWS! - about their arrival in Los Angeles and the subsequent underwhelming debut for the both of them, with her television show not just flopping, but getting miserable reviews, and his game lasting all of twelve minutes due to injury that the team lost anyway (and the fact that they're kicking ass without him), I'm begging you...

Can we please stop talking about the fucking Beckhams already?

Death To Youtube!

Great. The activity log spammers are back, just when I thought the retards had learned that they are only leaving links in a spot that two people can even access, one of whom has absolutely no use for viagra.

Speaking of retards, Marc linked to this article earlier and I cannot stop laughing at the complete and utter stupidity of it all. For starters, I'm sick of sanctimonious teachers who think their opinion should count more for something not related to their subjects of expertise because of their job in general. Shut down all of Youtube because a handful of jerk-offs use it for abuse? No calls to maybe police the site and have individual accounts shut down and offending videos removed. No discussion on the causes for bullying and the sissy culture that teachers themselves have helped to create that have allowed the problem to only get worse. Nope. None of this. Just shut down all of Youtube, no matter how helpful, how entertaining, how useless and innocuous 99% of the remaining content may be. I can understand teachers getting upset when they are targeted with death threats, even if they are unlikely to be acted on and probably the result of some dumb, bored kid thinking he's having a little harmless fun, but this is so beyond absurd, I'm frightened that the people responsible are in charge of educating the young.

This is why I'm glad I don't have kids. I wouldn't want them in the hands of today's teachers for anything. I've been around enough of them in my day to know that this sort of thinking isn't exactly unique to any special part of the world.