it comes in pints?

Oh man

Major bummer.

Via Chris Muir.

Non-categorized Trivia (no particular edition)

Hmm. Absolutely no idea why this popped into my head this evening. But it did, so I'm going to run with it:

Eighty men died trying to end that spree. What spree?

Country/Western Trivia (Charley Pride Edition)

[UPDATE: Last of the answers added]

So we made a Borders run today, having some 25% off coupons burning holes in our pockets. I went looking for Band of Brothers. They were out of stock on it. Sigh.

BUT... I picked up a couple of CDs. Gots me a Jerry Jeff Walker and a [genuflect] Roy Clark. I was all set to start putting together a Roy Clark edition, but I realized that I wanted to spend a little more time on putting together a tribute quiz for the Roy-man. That was partly because so much of his best material is instrumentals (small aside: when I was a mere snip of a youth, my parents had a Roy Clark album with the best version of "Alexander's Ragtime Band" I've ever heard; sadly, it's not on this CD, but an asskicker version of "Ghost Riders in the Sky" is), and also partly because there's one song on the CD I had never heard before, but I got a big kick out of it. It's called "The Lawrence Welk-Hee Haw Counter-Revolutionary Polka". Heh. It's great.

So anyway, once I decided to put off a Roy Clark quiz for at least a little bit, I considered looking into Jerry Jeff Walker. Unfortunately, I know JJW more as a songwriter, so once again I will postpone in favor of looking up more of his material that's not on this CD.

So what to do?

Well, as I was back in the home stretch of my bike ride, a completely different and unrelated song popped into my head. No idea why, but it was just after I had switched off the CD player while I headed into the driveway. And so, and idea was born. Can't say that Charley is one of my alltime favorites, but he did a lot of very nice stuff and is certainly one of the country/western greats of the last 50 years, and is therefore highly qualified to qualify as the subject of a C/WT quiz and a hell of a run-on sentence. And so, without further ado, away we go:

1) When I was a little bitty baby my mommy would rock me in the cradle. Where? [Bill: In them old cotton fields back home (down in Louisiana just about a mile from Texarkana)]

2) If windshield wipers are slapping time, who is my traveling companion? [Angie: Bobby McGee]

3) When am I having daydreams about nighttime things? [Angie: In the middle of the afternoon]

4) Rain is dripping off the brim of my hat and it sure is cold. Where am I walking and where am I trying to go? [Lisa: I'm walking down (Route) 66, and trying to get to San Antone, or Phoenix, AZ, or really, anyplace where I can forget I've ever known her]

5) When I chance to meet old friends on the street, they wonder how does a man get to be this way. I smile and tell them what? [Lisa: You've got to kiss an angel good morning]

6) Ain't nothin' much to do but just hang around. Where? [Lisa: In a Mississippi cotton-pickin' delta town]

7) Why is the county going to haul my belongings away? [Answer: Because I'm busted]

8) Tell my why, baby, why you do this. What? [Answer: Why you make me cry, baby, cry]

9) Yonder comes a sucker. What does he have? [Answer: Yonder comes a sucker, and he's got my gal]

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (The Drifters Edition)

[UPDATE: Last of the answers added]

So I've been doing stuff around the house all day, with some minimal checking on the computer. Managed to get some needed chores done before going on my ride. Today I took Merle along again so I didn't come up with any new material from my half vast CD collection. Which means that it's time once again to delve into my poor pathetic memory and bring up an old favorite.

I mean OLD favorite. From, like, before I was born. Or at least in that neighborhood.

I've loved the Drifters since the first time many, many moons ago when I heard Ben. E. King belt out a classic. And they only get better with time. And even though the Benmeister later left the group, I may just toss in one or two of his solo efforts. Because that's just the type of kind, generous soul I am. And because I'm still feeling great that Maura made her goal for Leukemia/Lymphoma marathon.

And when you're feeling this good, ain't nothin' like the Drifters to bring it home. And with that, away we go:

1) One thin dime won't even do what? [Ricki: One thin dime won't even shine your shoes on Broadway]

2) The music is fine like sparkling wine, but don't forget what? [Angie: To save the last dance for me]

3) There goes my baby. What's she doing? [Angie: She' movin' on down the line]

4) You can almost taste the hot dogs and French fries. Where are you? [Ricki: You're under the boardwalk, down by the sea]

5) Where is there a paradise that's trouble-proof? [Angie: Up on the roof]

6) Her eyes are black as coal, and touch down in my soul. Who is she? [Answer: She's a rose in Spanish Harlem]

7) It's different and new. It's sweeter than wine. It's softer than a summer night. What is it? [Angie: It's this magic moment]

8) I won't be afraid as long as you do what? [Ricki: As long as you stand by me]

9) If you wanted a star to match the stardust in your eyes, I would steal it from the skies. And then what would I give? [Answer: Then I would give sweets for my sweet and sugar for my honey]

Why I love the blogosphere

And why I love the dear folks who drop by this tiny little corner of it.

A few days ago, I mentioned a picture I got a kick out of, which was really only part of a picture, being on the back of an article clipped out of the Red Bluff Daily News. Today the lovely Lemon Stand dropped by and mentioned that I should have scanned it. Well, yeah, I should have. So I did and emailed it to her.

Naturally, the dear lady knows the picture, the ship, and the context. And she has posted it (after very kindly sending me a large, full-color copy of the original).

Yes, I am ashamed that I did not recognize the Mighty Mo. I blame the beer. And the ignorance...

The Greatest Generation

Wow. That chilled my bones. I so desperately need to see Band of Brothers, but I need to buy it so I can see the whole thing without having to try and record it off the History channel.

I was setting up a DVD recorder we acquired recently. I put it through its setup paces, and when it finished I flipped around to see that the channels had setup properly, etc.

Flipped to the History Channel, and BoB was just starting (though I didn't know just yet what it was). It was at the point just before the opening credits, where veterans were telling small stories - "We were just small town boys..." "We were attacked..." - and so on. But one fellow from a small town said something that just chilled my bones (as best as I can remember the quote):

"Three guys from my town committed suicide because they were 4F and couldn't join up"

Anyone who knows the exact quote, please drop it in the comments.

Thanks

To those of you who were able to contribute, Val, Maura, and the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society thank you for your support.

UPDATE: Holy Friday Fuck Off, Batman! I just looked back at this post and realized I didn't even mention the reason. Maura made her goal! Thank you all!

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

Emily is currently unavailable, so I am hosting the festivities this week. I have purchased my very own Val-written Fuck Off, not yet written as I am judiciously weighing my options as to the appropriate target of my wrath.

With that in mind, here is a small FO to get us started: A hearty and heart-felt Fuck Off to me. This has been an ugly, intense week and I am starting to forget things. I had a bundle to ship out yesterday which is still sitting in my freezer (as I noticed this morning). There are a few other things I've forgotten this week, also, despite having written them in my notebook, which I have also temporarily misplaced a couple of times this week.

And the worst one? I can't remember for sure, but I fear Emily may have asked me a few days ago if I would host the FFOT this week [UPDATE: Yeah, she did. Another heartfelt fuck off to me and my pathetic brain]. So this delay in the post may also have been my fault. But I can't remember.

So Fuck Off to ME and my overburdened synapses.

Meantime, Val has some dandies purchased by some of our compadres and madres, and strongly recommends the use of polarized sunglasses as you read.

Now take it away, folks!

F-bombs for sale!

As mentioned before, Val Prieto's niece Maura is training for a marathon to benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. She's currently about $450 $225 $85 [Update: The lovely Susanna, the lovely JeffS, the lovely Mr. Bingley, the lovely Nightfly, and I have cut the deficit to pieces] short of her goal of $4,000, and she would like your help.

To entice you to support this worthy cause, the Obi-Wan Kenobe of Friday F**k Offs has proposed a hell of a deal for you all: In exchange for a donation, Val will personally write a Friday F**k Off of your very own for the low, low, introductory price of just a buck for a F**K. For a simple five dollar donation, you will get five, count 'em, FIVE F**KS (in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS, no less) of varying grammatical forms (because variety is the spice of FFOT). Larger donations get more F**ks and greater permutations of f**kulatory goodness.

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! For a donation of $50 or more, he will not only write you a scorching, F-bomb laced F**k Off, but he will personally record it and post an audio file to listen to and enjoy in the comfort of your own (hopefully sound-insulated) computer room! Isn't that incredible????????

How do you take advantage of this incredible offer? It is SIMPLICITY ITSELF! Just make your donation here, then send Val an email at the special address he set up for this very project: ffot@babalublog.com. In the email, include the amount of your donation, your particular gripe, and any particular grammatical form(s) of F-bomb that you would like. Then Val, the Capo di Tutti F**k Offs, will, in his very own words, "take it and tweak it into a F**KING masterF**KINGpiece. We should warn everyone that I will not be politically correct and that I may possibly sear people's eyeballs." And who doesn't want to see seared eyeballs?

I tell you, people, you can't go wrong with this deal. When was the last time you got a F**k for only a buck? DONATE TODAY!

Random "SOAP" quote strangely applicable to stories ripped from today's headlines

"We don't have any homos in Texas. Live ones, anyways."

And another thing...

Okay, I'm a sap, as you well know. I'm a sap for sentimental stuff that doesn't even necessarily pertain to me or my family.

Also, I'm a history buff. No, not to the extent of being an amateur expert on anything, I just like history in a general way. I like reading popular-oriented works on history. Especially, I like personal histories, which is why I found the book War Letters so compelling. Not that I get much time to read such personal histories, thanks to the foul species that is Marketing - sorry John, but you knew I couldn't go without a zinger ;).

ANYway, the reason I bring this up is that the last post and the earlier one reminded me that I had not yet explained anything about an even earlier enigmatic post.

Doing good deeds is nice. It feels good. And below the fold is the specific reason for that "good deeds" post.

I am a member at Ancestry.com. I have learned much from the good people who have posted information there, and it feels good to return the favors. Over the last several years I have traded much information, and many pictures, with other members. I have also offered, and provided, pictures from Red Bluff, where much of my family lived.

But for the specifics of the post mentioned, on my family's property is an old private cemetery, much like the one mentioned here (of which I just this week found another picture, BTW - undated but very old). Next to this private cemetery is another, about which we will never know anything because the grave markers were wood. I have found one of these wooden markers, which is why I know it was a private cemetery, but after a hundred years or more it is, of course, unreadable. Nonetheless, I keep it for weird, historical reasons.

But about that other cemetery: there are two graves in it, both marked by stones and more recent markers contributed by my cousins as a 4H project more than 40 years ago. The people buried there are no relation to my family, but apparently lived on the property either before my family bought it or perhaps as tenants or lessees (probably lessees, given what little I can learn of their residences in census data). The stones are now barely readable, but the newer markers are still in good condition.

So what was my good deed? Looking up these names at Ancestry.com and contacting some distant relatives of the people buried there. I am now charged with acquiring pictures of said cemetery and graves, and forwarding to these distant relatives of the deceased.

A charge which I am more than happy to fulfill. I can't give back directly to the people who have helped me in my family searches, but I can give to others.

And that feels good.

Heh

Okay, nothing new on the picture front but amongst the pictures I came across something that rather amused me - a newspaper clipping from 1952, the height of the Korean War.

Well, actually the story that was clipped wasn't what amused me, that was juat a story about the Red Bluff High School boxing team, clipped by my Mom, I assume. What amused me was on the back, and I really wish it hadn't been clipped through the picture (the story was clipped exactly around, and so cut out much of the picture on the back.

Anyway, in the picture is a Navy ship (I don't know what type, not only is it partly obliterated, but I don't know my ships like Bill does). As near as I can tell from what's left of the picture, it's firing a broadside with all the starboard guns (hey, I know at least a little). But what's really amusing is what's left of the headline after clipping:

"Peace Ship"

I like that.

Open Thread (Updated, asked, and answered)

[UPDATE: Bumped and answered below the fold, but don't let that stop you from considering this an open thread]

This is the thread in which you may make wild guesses about what I consider interesting and entertaining about the Jimmie Rodgers post, and why I mentioned the little glimmers of light...

UPDATE: And to make it a little bit easier, I supplied the rest of the answers to the quiz.

So the big mystery, herewith answered, is that of the questions asked in the Jimmie Rodgers quiz:

1) the odd-numbered questions were songs recorded by Jimmie Rodgers, while

2) the even-numbered questions were songs recorded by Jimmie Rodgers.

Jimmie Rodgers was born in 1897 and died in 1933, and is considered the "Father of Country Music".

Jimmie Rodgers was born in 1933 (the year that Jimmie Rodgers died), is still living, and is considered a reasonably well-known pop singer from the 1950s.

And if you're confused by all this, you're not the only one. Look closely at this page of Jimmie Rodgers songs. I've been giggling ever since I found it.

I am blessed

And I'm not even religious.

I wrote to our buddy Val recently about how my heart breaks for all those who lost their family pictures and more in fleeing the communist tyranny of Cuba. If I had to flee, be it fire or any other disaster (including political), the first thing I would grab after people and pets is pictures.

Seriously.

I can replace stuff. I can buy new furniture. I can buy a new house. For that matter, even losing everything of monetary value, I can work and replace it.

Pictures and family treasures are irreplaceable.

But, even as a devout agnostic, I consider myself blessed. No idea why I should be so, but there you have it. In addition to pictures, I have in my possession (or available to pass on to future generations):

My parents' high school yearbooks

My grandmother's high school yearbook

College yearbooks from not only my grandmother, but several other relatives

My dear cousin's passport

Pictures of not only my parents, but my grandparents, great grandparents, and even great-great grandparents.

Mementos from many of these people, including Christmas cards, souvenirs, and more. I may even add to this list if I think of more of the many treasures I have discovered.

Val, my friend, my heart goes out to you. Start building your children's memories now.

Random "WKRP in Cincinnati" quote strangely applicable to stories ripped from today's headlines

"As ideas go, that's really Iranian"

The photo says it all

Shiri Negari

More pictures

Wow. That Jimmie Rodgers post seems to be even tougher than I expected. No one has yet noticed, or guessed, or deigned to admit, the interesting part about it. Well, say la vie ("la vie").

So before I post any more on it, or supply the wrapup to the Jan and Dean post, here are a few more pictures I've come acrost whilst sortingst the photo archivesteses.

This is me.

This is me looking dapper in my Paul Simon Approved™ ...

Oops. Sorry about that. Wrong Paul Simon. Yada yada looking dapper in my Paul Simon Approved™ bowtie*.

*I didn't know this, because I don't pay attention to such things and also because I can't stay up that late, but the Simons Paul once appeared together on Saturday Night Live.

Okay, and finally, here is me and my little bro:

Yeah, I eventually got over the bowtie stuff. About the time I started drinking in earnest, IIRC.

Mom always said that I looked like Dad, and the little bro acted like him. Probably true.

My Epiphany (Jimmie Rodgers Edition)

[UPDATE: Last of the answers supplied]

See? I actually can spell the word. What's much tougher than spelling that word is completing the quiz that follows. I've departed from my usual rule of only including songs I know, or at the very least noting those I don't know, in the interest of epiphany. Because I'm just that way.

Anyway, some of these are easy, some are hard. In toto, it will at least be entertaining, I hope, especially after I close the quiz and explain further. And please believe me when I tell you that the "explain further" part will be amusing. But without further ado and further silly commentary, here are a baker's dozen minus three questions:

1) Good morning, captain. Out on your new mud line (or perhaps it's "road line", the jury's still out), do you perhaps need one of these? [Mike: A mule skinner]

2) He took a hank of hair and a piece of bone. What did he make with it? [Julie: He made a walkin', talkin' honeycomb]

3) I went out last Tuesday and met a girl named Susie. We started to spend my money and then she started to call me honey. But where are we now? [Answer: We're in the jailhouse now]

4) I asked her to marry and to be my sweet wife and I told her we'd be so happy for the rest of our life. Why did I do this? [Angie: Because she had kisses sweeter than wine]

5) Riding on an eastbound freight train speeding through the night, he was a railroad bum fighting for his life. What did we call him? [Mike: We call him Hobo Bill]

6) I thought I'd never get caught again, never in a hundred, never in a thousand, never in a million years. Oh oh, what's happening? [Answer: Oh oh, I'm falling in love again]

7) I'm a thousand miles away from home, sleeping in the rain. I haven't got a nickel, not a penny can I show. But I walked up to a brakeman to give him a line of talk. What am I doing? [Answer: I'm waiting on a train]

8) There's a hill on the way there. In fact, there's a house on the hill and a girl in the house. There's a store there. In fact, there's a ring in the store and I'll buy the ring for the girl in the house. Where am I going? [Answer: To Bimbombey]

9) It's peach pickin' time in Georgia, apple pickin' time in Tennesee, cotton pickin' time in Mississippi, and roundup time in Texas. Still, even though everybody might pick on me, what time is it for me? [Answer: It's gal-pickin' time for me]

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (Jan and Dean Edition)

[UPDATE: Final answers supplied]

I've been leaning pretty heavily on the country/western recently and it's time to swing back like a pendulum do, bobbies on bicycles and all that. I mentioned last week that I had an epiffiny ipefany eppiphonee idea. Well, it's been a bit tougher to put it together than I had hoped and so I shall buy some time with my SoCal homies Jan and Dean. Nothing terribly difficult (well actually, at least one that I think is very difficult) but I got some dinner to cook, so it will be short and sweet:

1) Who is the terror of Colorado Boulevard? Bonus Question: Where did the idea for the song originate? [KG: The little old lady from Pasadena] [Bonus Question Answer: Back in the early '60s there was a Dodge commercial. A sweet little old lady was driving a Dodge (Charger, I think but I can't remember). She was sitting at a stoplight next to a couple of teens in another muscle car; they were acting like teenagers, of course. When the light turned green, she blew their doors off. She pulled into her garage, got out of the car, and in a sweet little-old-lady voice said, "Put a Dodge in your garage, honey." Jan and Dean took it and ran with it.]

2) Won't come back from where? Bonus Questions: Where did the idea for the song originate (a specific incident)? And what is the true irony of the song? [Wolfwalker: Dead Man's Curve. Joel nails the ironic part, which is that Jan's career ended in a car crash. Turns out, though, unlike the myth (which was truly ironic) Jan's crash was on Whittier Blvd., not Sunset which was the actual "Dead Man's Curve" - and no, I thought Jan's crash was on Sunset until I looked it up just now.] [Futher update: Some conflict in sources, it's possible Jan's crash actually was on the same curve] [Bonus Question Answer: The specific incident was a crash on that curve which nearly killed Mel "Bugs Bunny" Blanc - story goes that the doctor pulled Blanc out of his coma by talking to "Bugs" instead of Mel.]

3) What's the newest sport around? [KG: Sidewalk surfing, in which one may, indeed, bust ones buns. And I have. More than once. But then I never claimed to be overly coordinated...]

4) If my woody breaks down, I'll strap my board to my back and hitch a ride in my wetsuit. To where? [KG: Surf City]

5) In Hawaii there's a place known as Waimea Bay, where it takes a lot of skill and courage unknown to ride what? [Answer: To ride, ride, ride the wild surf]

6) The DJ's saying on my favorite station that the Drag City races are the fastest in the nation. What am I going to burn up? [Answer: I'm going to burn up that quarter mile]

7) Who is Queen of the Surfer Girls? [KG: My Honolulu Lulu]

8) [And this one is a cheater, I've never heard nor heard of it but the lyrics amused me] They wear organdy dresses and high-button shoes, they read Playboy magazine and Hot-Rod News. They toot around town in their big Grand Prixes, sittin' in their bucket seats, shootin' the breeze. Who are they? [KG: The Anaheim, Azusa and Cucamonga Sewing Circle, Book Review, and Timing Association. KG, my hat's off to you!]

San Cheque Day

For those of you paid weekly or biweekly, today is San Cheque Day (St. Paycheck Day). And on such a fine day, what better way to do something good with those ill-gotten gains than to contribute to a good cause?

Val Prieto's niece is training for a charity marathon to benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, and you can help her reach her donation goal by going here. Who can resist such a lovely and civic-minded young lady?

But wait! There's more! Val, the Obi-Wan Kenobe of Friday F**k Offs, has a special offer for you. Details, and current market rates, are not yet available but as soon as they are I will let you know. You will be most appreciative. That's an order.

Drawing the only logical conclusion

Instapundit notes an email from Michael Barone regarding the Ahmadinejad/Columbia University issue. Mr. Barone made a very interesting observation, but stopped short of drawing the obvious conclusion:

Just a random thought on Ahmedinejad speaking at Columbia.

Columbia doesn't host ROTC or (I think) military recruiters on campus, because it would be just too offensive to do so, because the military obeys the law passed by a Democratic Congress and signed by Bill Clinton which bars open homosexuals from serving in the military. OK.

Actually, I think the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy could be more accurately described as allowing homosexuals to serve as long as they are closeted, unlike the previous absolute ban on serving under which even closeted gays could be hounded out. That's the part that people seem to forget. But to continue:

But Columbia does host Ahmedinejad who heads a government which executes homosexuals for the crime of being homosexuals.

So it's obnoxious beyond belief to exclude homosexuals from military service, but it's not obnoxious beyond belief to hang them from the neck until dead.

That's right. Columbia University opposes the first law in American history to allow homosexuals to serve in the military, and invites to dinner the head of a government that executes homosexuals. Thus, there is only one possible conclusion that can be drawn:

Columbia University apparently wants to replace "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" with "Ask, Find, and Hang".

It's a pretty basic syllogism. What other possible conclusion could be drawn?

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

Warren Jeffs can fuck off. And I mean fuck off in the most passionate way I can possibly scream the words at the top of my lungs.

I've listened and watched footage of a lot of cult* leaders over the last ten years or so, but this guy takes a special prize. First, because he didn't attract followers - his victims were born in Colorado City. Women and children given away like pieces of property. Men ex-communicated because the disporportionate gender ratios that come about from allowing men to have multiple wives but women only one husband make them useless. Thrown out like trash, their families taken away and "given" to another man, dumped friendless into a world they've never known with nothing but the clothes on their backs. This piece of shit bastard doesn't just deserve to rot in prison. He deserves to get ass-raped as frequently as he eats.

Watch this video, if you can stand it. This guy isn't just strange, he's fucking horror movie creepy. The last words he spoke in the final minute of the footage gave me chills - "why don't you just obey?" As if he cannot understand why every person in the world won't just submit to his whims and let him abuse them like a fucking soulless object.

Asshole. Rot in HELL.

*if anyone here, for whatever reason, feels compelled to give the insanely fucking ignorant argument that the only difference between a cult and a mainstream religion is the number of followers/years it's been around/popularity of its beliefs, shut the fuck up. You don't have the slightest clue what you are talking about. With rare exceptions, nobody is going after these people for their beliefs. It's their BEHAVIOR that is unacceptable. To paraphrase John Sweeney in his BBC Panorama special about the Clams (my favorite part being little Tommy D. telling Sweeney that he "won't be accountable for his actions" if Sweeney continued to use the word "cult" in reference to his "faith." Nice to know these people think they shouldn't be responsible for their actions every time someone says something they don't like about their "religion"), after being stalked, yelled at, followed everywhere he went, lied to, stolen from, physically and psychologically intimidated, and finally, threatened with legal action that had no basis whatsoever, "somehow, I can't imagine this sort of behavior coming from the Church of England."

God Respond

Regarding this silly lawsuit, God seems to have responded.

'God' Apparently Responds to Lawsuit
Sep 20, 2007 5:30 PM (12 hrs ago)
By NATE JENKINS, AP

LINCOLN, Neb. (Map, News) - A legislator who filed a lawsuit against God has gotten something he might not have expected: a response. One of two court filings from "God" came Wednesday under otherworldly circumstances, according to John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha.

"This one miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here - poof!" Friend said

[...]

Not so, says "God." His response argues that the defendant is immune from some earthly laws and the court lacks jurisdiction.

It adds that blaming God for human oppression and suffering misses an important point.

"I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is my greatest gift to you," according to the response, as read by Friend.

There was no contact information on the filing, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness, Friend said.

St. Mikey. I love it.

A second response from "God" disputing Chambers' allegations lists a phone number for a Corpus Christi law office.

From Corpus Christi. I love it.

Still, I suspect there's some question whether the response is genuinely from God. I think a well-aimed lightning bolt would have been more impressive. Certainly more entertaining.

Yahoo!

The DVD of the home movies came in!

The Sainted Bride called me at work to tell me she'd been informed by the company doing the transfer had completed it, so I hustled up there after leaving work early and picked it up.

I've already watched some of it. Lots of rodeo, shots of what I assume is the Brownlee Dam, family, friends.

Shots of me and the little bros playing in the sprinklers (well, not littlest bro, he was not even walking yet), Shine's 59th birthday (with Mom and Dad and Auntie and Uncle Jack and the cousins and Grandpa and Aunt Edna - technically cousin, not aunt - and more, Dad giving me a ride on his Caterpillar down in Long Beach. More rodeo. A camping trip, probably in the Granite Mountains though I can't be sure.

Way cool. Can't wait to finish it after dinner. The Sainted Bride even recognizes some people even though these predate her meeting my wild and crazy family by many years.

Oh yeah, I'm going to put the other 30-some reels on DVD very soon.

I think I passed

I got 87% (52 out of 60). I whupped up on them there college students and I've been away from school for quite some time now.

Linked from this story, originally via Instapundit.

At last! Some gun blogging!

Well, not by me. By the Dissident Frogman. Watch the whole thing.

Via Tim Blair.

Proof positive

I really would hate to leave you with the impression that I, as a child, was incapable of popping a wheelie, as this picture attests:

And of course I can't resist posting a few more pictures. See? I can also ride a horse:

That's the horse we had when I was very small, named Snapper Dan. Eventually, Dad sold him because the upkeep was just too much and there was too little time to ride.

Here's our manly crew. I'm in back.

Here are my little brothers abusing our poor dog.

Here are Mom and Dad, not long after they got married.

And finally, here's my Dad (left) with his parents.

Four Pictures and a Story

Well, there's a fifth picture to go with the story.

I've been sorting family pictures again, and once again I'm in a sentimental mood so I'm going to post some more family pictures. This will include a self-portrait and story about myself which may explain a lot.

But first, the family pictures:

That's my parents' wedding. Auntie is the Matron of Honor, next to Mom.

Mom and Dad, after they got hitched.

Mom in her younger years, with Injun Joe (yes, we actually had an Injun Joe out at the ranch). I remember him from when I was very little. Years later, I asked Mom if he was still around and she replied, "I suppose he is, if someone hasn't killed him yet."

Heh.

My Grandpa (left) with Louie and Doc. I don't know Louie but he may still be around, the pic is from 1955. I (barely) remember Doc.

And now for the story. This requires a little bit of setup.

We lived in San Bernardino, in a working class neighborhood in the north end. For much of my youth, we were not actually in the city limits and, except for our little neighborhood (two long blocks by two short ones), the area was undeveloped. There was a lot of area for us to ride bikes and play and such.

Behind the neighborhood, there was a small ridge of hills (Shandin Hills, for which my Jr. High school was named) and the tallest was Little Mountain (for which a road was named), with lots of really cool places to play, ride, and explore. We rode our bikes through, up, and down the hills. One particular road was really cool. It was very steep, with a really good curve to ride around while flying down the hill on our bikes. The bad part, which we, as kids, did not consider, was that it was wide enough for a car.

So one day I was riding down it on my bike. I rounded the cool curve and came face to face with a VW bug coming uphill. Well, I was at least bright enough to realize that a head-on with anything heavier than my bike was bad news so I swerved left.

To this left was a small ledge. This was only about four feet high, and in my youthful exhuberance I assumed that if I could only "pop a wheelie" and land on my bike's tires I would be fine. Nice plan, poor execution. I did not pop the intended wheelie, my front tire dipped precipitously as I went over the ledge, and I landed on my face with the bike on top of me.

The guy driving the VW drove me home. Mom got me all cleaned up and scabbed over, then stood me up in front of the house and took pictures. Sent those pictures off to all the relatives with a note that said, in effect, "Look what my dumb kid did."

Years later, I mentioned to her how traunatized I was by that and she replied, "Well, if that's the worst thing I ever did to you, count your blessings."

I love you too, Mom ;)

Aftermath here:

Escape

Thanks, CTG. I needed a laugh.

And speaking of filthy vile politicians Dirty Rotten Scoundrels in serious need of being slapped on their asses

[UPDATE: See below]

Let's hear it for the (probable) atheist who just admitted in court papers that God exists and is "omnipresent".

Nebraska State Senator Sues God

LINCOLN, Neb. - The defendant in a state senator's lawsuit is accused of causing untold death and horror and threatening to cause more still. He can be sued in Douglas County, the legislator claims, because He's everywhere.

State Sen. Ernie Chambers sued God last week. Angered by another lawsuit he considers frivolous, Chambers says he's trying to make the point that anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody.

Chambers says in his lawsuit that God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."

Actually, he went into much greater alliterative detail about "fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornados, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating drouths [sic]" before running out of alliterative allegations.

His biggest problem is trying to figure out exactly why he wants to bring the suit.

Chambers said the lawsuit was triggered by a federal suit filed against a judge who recently barred words such as "rape" and "victim" from a sexual assault trial.

The accuser in the criminal case, Tory Bowen, sued Lancaster District Judge Jeffre Cheuvront, claiming that he violated her free speech rights.

Chambers said Bowen's lawsuit is inappropriate because the Nebraska Supreme Court has already considered the case and federal courts follow the decisions of state supreme courts on state matters.

I have no particular opinion on the merits of Bowen's lawsuit, though I fail to see why the words "rape" and "victim" should be banned from a SEXUAL ASSAULT TRIAL, those seeming to me to be rather central themes in a SEXUAL ASSAULT TRIAL. But the Right Ridiculous Mr. Chambers also claims, at the same time, to be striking a blow for the little guy to file all the goddam lawsuits he wants to.

Chambers says he isn't suing God because he has any kind of beef with the deity. He says the suit is to fight possible laws restricting the filing of frivolous lawsuits. Chambers tells KPTM FOX 42 News that his lawsuit is in response to bills brought forth by other state senators to try and stop lawsuits from being filed.

"The Constitution requires that the courthouse doors be open, so you cannot prohibit the filing of suits," Chambers says. "Anyone can sue anyone they choose, even God."

Except rape victims women told to shut up by a judge in a sexual assault trial.

Okay, in Chambers's defense, I will ask you to read the whole complaint. It's actually pretty amusing. A few choice excerpts:

JURISDICTION AND VENUE

4. This Honorable Court has jurisdiction by virtue of the fact that Defendant, being Omnipresent, is personally present in Douglas County

[...]

14. Plaintiff, despite reasonable efforts to effectuate personal service upon Defendant ("Come out, come out, wherever you are") has been unable to do so.

15. Plaintiff respectfully requests this Honorable Court to take judicial notice that Defendant, in addition to being Omnipresent, also is all-knowing ("Omniscient").

16. Plaintiff under the admittedly peculiar circumstances of this singular case, respectfully requests this Honorable Court to waive personal service.

17. In the alternative, Plaintiff respectfully requests this Honorable Court to find that lawful personal/constructive service has been effectuated by virtue of the fact that Defendant, being Omniscient, shall be deemed to have actual knowledge of this action, sufficient to satisfy all requirements of law regarding notice.

[...]

COUNT V

22. Defendant has manifested neither compassion nor remorse, proclaiming that Defendant "will laugh" when calamity comes.

It is, indeed, worthy of The Onion.

UPDATE: Eugene Volokh also discusses it, and points to a case I had heard of. I wanted to mention it here but couldn't find when I posted. A fellow named Mayo sued Satan. Among the findings of the court was:

We note that the plaintiff has failed to include with his complaint the required form of instructions for the United States Marshal for directions as to service of process.

Heh.

It's a good day for the courts

As Dave points out, it has been a good day for judicial common sense. And another opportunity to resurrect this picture:

Jeez, people, just let the dumb chick rest in piece. One big, flat piece.

Good

Jerry Brown just got slapped on his ass.

Sorry, Rockers

I was planning to do a R'n'R Trivia yesterday, but I got sidetracked. I was on my usual bike ride and had an epifiny eppiphony ipefany idea. Expect something a little, er, different next weekend.

Meantime, a small touch of coolness: The Sainted Bride found a place that converts 8mm home movies to DVD and took about a dozen of my family's movies to have it done. We'll get the DVD back sometime this week or next. If it turns out good, I have about another three dozen to do also, ranging from a few years before I was born to when I was about nine.

Man, I can't wait.

What's for dinner tonight?

I'm glad you asked. PETA can suck it.

Started off with a Bloody Mary, followed by salad with bleu cheese. Then came the artichoke cheese dip. Then the main course: Whiskey Peppercorn Sirloin, Accompanied by a Cattlemen's Pale Ale, 25 oz. tall boy, of course. Mmmmm.

And since I don't eat nearly as much as I used to, we took home enough meat and fully-loaded baked potato (not to mention baked beans) for at least one more dinner.

And PETA can suck it.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday, Righteous Babe.

Sunday Weirdness

Sunday Weirdness beats Saturday weirdness all to hell.

I just learned that last month, the still-officially-atheist-so-far-as-I-know Chinese government has started regulating reincarnation. Seems the reincarnation process has been getting a bit disorderly.

I learned this in the same story in which I learned that Russia is paying people to make the beast with two backs. Well, perhaps not exactly paying them, but encouraging them to skip work for the day and make a baby, and if that baby shows up on the right day (National Day, June 12) they are eligible for prizes including large appliances and automobiles.

And I'm sure that even the ones who don't win the large prizes still get some lovely parting gifts and a copy of the home game.

Saturday weirdness

Stolen from CalTechGirl, because it's Saturday and I'm still waiting for Mike and Joel to weigh in on the Hank Williams post they were so het up about.

Tired of those same old 55 questions about me surveys? Well here are 55 I guarantee you've never answered.

Guarantee I've never answered before? Well, we'll just see about that:

1. Is your second toe longer than your first?
Wow. You're right, I've never answered that question before. Never been asked it, in fact. No.

2. Do you have a favorite type of pen?
Pig pen, because that's bacon and spareribs on the hoof. Also, I liked that little guy in "Peanuts".

3. Look at your planner for March 14, what are you doing?
How the hell would I know? That's six months away. I've long since learned that, with rare exceptions, anything planned more than a week in advance is just wishful thinking.

4. What color are your toenails usually?
Um, toenail colored. Something similar to Crayola Flesh Colored. Except for the ends, just before I clip them.

5. What was the last thing you highlighted?
I don't know. Some kind of stupidity, no doubt.

6. What color are your bedroom curtains?
White.

7. What color are the seats in your car?
Gray.

8. Have you ever had a black and white cat?
I've never had any cat, thank you very much. With the possible exception of about a week, thirty-some years ago, when my dog adopted a kitten until we found its owner. That kitten remained wet for the entire time because the dog would pick it up in his mouth and carry it to a new spot every time the kitten wandered more than a foot away.

9. What is the last thing you put a stamp on?
Not a frickin' clue. Probably a letter to someone.

10. Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming?
I don't think so. I know folks in Oregon, Montana, Idaho, and Washington, but not in Wyoming so far as I know.

11. Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time?
Because I withdraw cash every two weeks, so's I can have some pocket money for the dancing girls for gasoline and sundry items.

12. Whose is the last baby that you held?
Don't know for sure. Probably the child of a friend but it's been a while.

13. Unlucky #?
Uh, no. Except when I roll it while playing craps. Then I get my ass kicked.

14. Do you like Cinnamon toothpaste?
Never tried it.

15. What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago?
Same car I'm driving now.

16. Pick one: Miami Hurricanes or Florida Gators?
Why? They mean nothing to me. I don't follow football but if anything I'm a USC Trojans fan.

17. Last time you went to Six Flags?
1996

18. Do you have any wallpaper in your house?
Yes, in the bedroom. Also the family room. Family room was papered when we bought the house about 14 years ago, I papered the bedroom a few years back.

19. Closest thing to you that is yellow?
There doesn't appear to be anything within eyeshot that is yellow, except for the Norton icon on the computer screen.

20. Last person to give you a business card?
Not a frickin' clue. I don't often meet folks who give me business cards, and even more rarely do I remember to have mine with me when I meet them, which is why I still have 99% of the business cards I ever had. Best guess is that it was a sales rep for an enzyme or peptide supplier.

21. Who is the last person you wrote a check to?
Probably my little brother. The Sainted Bride handles most of the financial stuff in the family, I have control of the joint account my little bro and I have for any ranch business, and I think it likely that the last check I wrote on that account was to reimburse him for something.

22. Closest framed picture to you?
There's a whole shitload on a bookcase a few feet away. Difficult to say which of them is "closest" but I'll pick the one of us (me, Sainted Bride, and D's O and T) at my cousin's wedding a few years ago.

23. Last time you had someone cook for you?
Does this include restaurants? Last weekend. If not, then a week or so ago.

24. Have you ever applied for welfare?
No.

25. How many emails do you have?
Unread? None. In my inbox, still undeleted, unsorted, or otherwise dealt with? 1713.

26. Last time you received flowers?
Uh, never.

27. Do you think the sanctity of marriage is meant for only a man & woman?
No.

28. Do you play air guitar?
No, but I play thigh banjo, which is a thousand times better.

29. Has anyone ever proposed to you?
Yes, assuming that being told I would marry her on such and such a date can be considered a "proposal".

30. Do you take anything in your coffee?
Uh, coffee. If you wanted cream and sugar, why did you order coffee?

31. Do you have any Willow Tree figurines?
I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.

32. What is/was your high school's rival mascot?
A pirate.

33. Last person you spoke to from high school?
Assuming you are discounting my little bro, I don't remember. Someone at the 20th reunion.

34. Last time you used hand sanitizer?
Never.

35. Would you like to learn to play the drums?
Not especially.

36. What color are the blinds in your living room?
More or less burgundy.

38. Last thing you read in the newspaper?
The crossword puzzle.

39. What was the last pageant you attended?
Pageant? None.

40. What is the last place you bought pizza from?
Don't know, probably Papa Murphy's.

41. Have you ever worn a crown?
Yes, I have a few of them. All on teeth.

42. What is the last thing you stapled?
No idea, something at work.

43. Did you ever drink clear Pepsi?
WTF?????

44. Are you ticklish?
Yes. But I will not tell you where.

45. Last time you saw fireworks?
After going out for "a few drinks with the boys".

Well, not really, I don't drink like that, so it was July 4th.

46. Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?
A few months ago.

47. Who is the last person that left you a message & you actually returned it?
Someone at work, yesterday.

48. Last time you parked under a carport?
1983

49. Do you have a black dog?
No, he's more like dark gray and tan.

50 . Have you had your mid life crisis yet?
No. I have not yet reached "midlife", I am still approaching "late youth".

51. Are you an aunt or uncle?
Yes, three times over.

52. Who has the prettiest eyes that you know of?
My Sainted Bride.

53. What kind of soap or body wash do you use?
Whatever is in the shower at the time. Typically, it's Irish Spring or Dial, I think, but I don't pay enough attention to be certain.

54. Do you remember Ugly Kid Joe?
"Remember" as in what? Heard the name? Yes. Know who the hell he is? No.

55. Do you have a little black dress?
Uh, no. And that's getting just a bit personal, don't you think?

Country/Western Trivia (Hank Williams Edition)

And, as Mike and Joel assumed automatically, it is indeed the senior HW. [UPDATE: Man, Mike and Joel are going to be so upset they didn't get to jump in before the rest of the crew, but I'll be nice and not post those answers just yet. Just let it be known that KG, Angie, and Dr. Weevil have nailed 18 of the 26 (note to Dr. Weevil: I was going to disqualify one of your answers - right song but didn't answer the specific question - except that I realized that in fact, yours was an acceptable answer; do you know the specific answer I was looking for?)]

[Second Update: Sorry, Mike. I'm an impatient cuss and Joel has weighed in so I'm going to post the answers already given. But three have not yet been answered, and are bolded]

[Last Update: The Mikester has checked in, so the rest of the answers are supplied]

I must, though, point out in a small aside that I am just a wee bit disappointed that they felt the need to actually say the "senior" part. Gentlemen, gentlemen, please always remember and don't ever forget that in some cases (this being the primary one in the history of the entire world) the "senior" is superfluous, gratuitous, and unnecessary. If I had wanted to talk about the fine Hank's offspring (about whom I may one day have a quiz, I actually like some of his stuff) I would have appended "junior".

Be that as it may, this episode is dedicated to the real Hank Williams. But first, a small personal disclosure:

In point of fact, he is not my favorite Country/Western singer. My tastes tend more toward the Johnny Cash and Merle Haggard styles. But no matter; I like the Hankster and one cannot deny his huge contributions to the world of C/W music. Just as I can appreciate Jimi Hendrix's virtuosity on the guitar without particularly liking his music (seriously, I can count on the fingers of one amputated hand the number of Jimi Hendrix songs I actually like) I can strongly commend the music of the Great Hank (whose songs I actually like) without his being my favorite C/W singer.

Add in the fact that Hank is one of those whose life is a testament to the importance of not making snap judgments about people. Yes, he was a drug addict and alcoholic, and died of a combination of the two at the age of 29. But does anyone out there know why? I'll leave it an open question for the moment, and move on with only the small observation that Mickey Mantle, in some ways, was another of those cautionary tales about snap judgments.

Instead, let's move on to the questions. Because I gave Johnny a double baker's dozen, how can I do any less with Hank? Kinda sorta roughly in order of increasing difficulty:

1) Son of a gun, what'll we have? [Angie: We'll have big fun on the bayou]

2) He just stood there and never showed a sign. Why not? [Angie and Dr. Weevil: Because he was a wooden Indian. Acceptable, but Joel gives the specific answer to the specific quesion: because his heart was made of knotty pine]

3) Why can't I free your doubtful mind, and do what? [Angie: And melt your cold, cold heart]

4) I got a hot rod ford and a two-dollar bill. What's over the hill and what does it have? [KG: I know a spot right over the hill, where there's soda pop and the dancin's free]

5) All my faith in you is gone but the heartaches linger on. What should you do? [Joel: Take these chains from my heart and set me free]

6) You'll walk the floor the way I do. Why? [Joel: Because your cheatin' heart will tell on you]

7) I face the barren waste without what? [Dr. Weevil: Without the taste of water, cool water]

8) Before you start to whine, remember what? [Dr. Weevil: That side's yours and this side's mine]

9) That lonesome whippoorwill sounds too blue to fly. So what am I? [Dr. Weevil: I'm so lonesome I could cry]

10) You act proud and I'll act prouder. What will we be doing tonight? [Dr. Weevil: Settin' the woods on firs]

11) Hey Lord, I got 'em. Got what? [Dr. Weevil: I got the honky tonk blues]

12) Like the blind man that God gave back his sight, what happened? [Angie: I saw the light]

13) When you are sad and lonely, come to see me and bring along some dough. Then what will we do? [Joel: We'll go honky tonkin' 'round this town]

14) My hair's still curly and my eyes are still blue. So why don't you do this? [Dr. Weevil: Why don't you love me like you used to do?]

15) I know that I would never be this blue, if only what? [Joel: If only you loved me half as much as I love you]

16) Me and that sweet woman's got a license to fight, so why don't you do this? [Dr. Weevil: Mind your own business - who knew the Hankster was a libertarian?]

17) Today I passed you on the street and my heart fell at your feet. What can't I help? [Dr. Weevil: I can't help it if I'm still in love with you]

18) I've tried and I've tried and all night long I've cried. What is it that I can't do? [Answer: I can't get you off of my mind]

19) You are on my lonely mind and I'm gonna keep drinkin' until I'm petrified. But what's my biggest immediate problem? [Dr. Weevil: There's a tear in my beer, which, like, totally sucks]

20) I know I should leave, but I just can't go. Why not? [Joel: Because you win again]

21) In the great Book of John, you're warned of this day. What will come from the sky? [Dr. Weevil: The Angel of Death]

22) We met in the springtime, but now the roses have faded and there's frost at my door. What am I? [Answer: I am alone and forsaken]

23) There'll come a time in your life dear when you'll need someone who will care. What will happen then? [Answer: You'll call my name but I won't answer]

24) I've been married about six months, you see. The first three months were okay. What's happening now? [Dr. Weevil: I've got the first year blues, but I'm still looking for the specific lyric to go with the "three months" line]

25) There's never been a man in the awful shape I'm in. I can't even spell my own name, and today I tried to eat a steak with a tablespoon. What do you have me doing? [Dr. Weevil: Howlin' at the moon. Also, chasing rabbits, walking on my hands, and tearing out my hair, among other things]

26) No matter how much I struggle and strive, what will never happen? [Dr. Weevil: I'll never get out of this world alive, and the bonus question below is still open...]

SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION: That last question capped off the list for a reason. What is that reason?

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

Stupid, pointless, pre-season exhibition games can fuck off.

And the L.A. Kings can fuck off, too.

Whoever it is running that stinking fucking club that's a Clam can double, super-duper fuck off. With knobs on. And cheese.

And you?

How much you want to bet...

...that the same idiots who would spend $1400 on butt ugly shoes would also spend $52,500 on this butt ugly purse.

The story says Beyonce bought one. I wonder what kind of shoes she's wearing today?

(via Instapundit)

More family pictures

Just because I'm in a sentimental mood.

Also because Bingley got a damned instalanche. Bastard.

This is my Dad. He won that buckle as bareback champion, and wore it until the day he died. We still have the buckle.

My Mom, a fetching high school beauty.

Mom with Shine, a family friend, circa 1945.

My Grandma, the bathing beauty.

My Grandma with her first child, my Auntie.

GAWD, I'm tearing up.

WTF?

Worst part is, some dumbass will buy them.

P.T. Barnum was an optimist.

UPDATE: Nightfly comes up with the quote of the day:

It's like Dr Frankenstein robbed the shoe closets of the tasteless to make these.

Doing good deeds

It feels good.

That is all.

Observing a moment of silence

Those crazy kids are at it again

Got "Breaking News" update from the SacBee. The Justin Timberlake show at the Arco Arena has been postponed.

And I was so looking forward to actively ignoring it.

But they support the troops

It seems that some of those peace-loving lefty 'tards in Washington last week decided to show their support for the troops by defacing the Vietnam War Memorial.

No news coverage whatsoever that I can find online as yet.

Some more information forwarded to the local RWDB Morning Show by Gathering of Eagles:

Vietnam Memorial in Washington DC Vandalized

The Vietnam War Memorial in Washington DC was vandalized Friday night,
September 7th. There were no witnesses to the act of desecration which
was discovered by a Park Service employee.

The vandal appears to have walked along the wall while squirting an oil
based substance from a container on the lower sections of the panels.
The liquid discolored the polished surface of the stone memorial and was
absorbed into the porous stone where the names of our fallen heroes are
etched into the wall.

Many names have become unreadable due to the absorbtion of the fluid.

On March 17th a large number of veterans and patriots gathered around the
area of the Vietnam War Memorial to prevent just such a threatened
desecration by the radical leftist demonstrators associated with the
ANSWER coalition, SDS and the Black Cloc. An attempt was made to deface
the memorial late that day but was stopped by National Park Police with
several radicals arrested.

No radical group has stepped forward yet to claim responsibility for this
outrage to the memory of our veterans. It is unlikely any will.

Link: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1893742/posts
Dan Maloney New York Coordinator Gathering of Eagles

I am such a sap, Vol. III

It may actually be more than Vol. III, I lost track. But I am perpetually reminded just how much of a sap I am by pictures like these:

That's my Mom and Dad at their wedding.

That's my Mom and my Grandpa. He was still walking then. He lost one leg in 1937 (20 years before this picture). I don't know exactly when he lost the other leg, but he was wheelchair-bound as long as I can remember, so it wasn't too many years after this picture.

Mom and Dad's "getaway car" after the ceremony. They went to live in Halfway, where I was born (more accurately, I was born at the nearest hospital about 60 miles away, but why let that wreck a cool story?)

I may have some more pics to post soon, depending on how much I tear up while sorting them.

Heads up, kids

I picked up a Hank Williams collection at Costco this morning, and I'm not afraid to use it. Expect a little something from Da Man next week.

Meantime, there's still lots of some* Johnny Cash available for answers...

*Joisey people been sneaking in on me while I'm updating posts....

I am laughing so hard right now

Feel the LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEE snark.

But I still think he's not on match.com yet.

Country/Western Trivia (Johnny Cash Edition)

[UPDATE: I love you people. Outstanding job! Twenty-one three* answers in, the remaining three two* are highlighted

*The Bingster snuck in while I was updating; he's kinda sneaky that way, and apparently, I miscounted somewhere along the line... Not only that, but I realized that, depending on which you choose as subject and which as object, NJ Sue's answer to #9 is correct so I have included it in the answered questions]

[MONDAY UPDATE: All but one have been nailed. Excellent, people! Let's get that last one now! I know it's a tough one, but you can do it And Lisa gets the last one]

And the time has come. We all knew it would happen but I've been sitting on it for a while. But this week a few of his songs popped into my head and I decided to go for it.

Immediately, a problem came up: How do I pare it down to a manageable number of questions?

Simple answer: I don't. After a long-ass, four-day week I need an outlet for all my pentup aggressions that the FFOT can't completely let out.

Ah, but Johnny can, with that deep voice and folksy lyrics and downhome country goodness. I did, however, limit it somewhat. Certainly to the songs I know. More specifically, I tried to limit it to songs which were original with Johnny, and failing that, to additional songs that are mostly associated with him, but with some more thrown in just because I love the way he makes them his own even when they were originally recorded by someone else. And the rules for these categories are mine alone. Deal with it.

So herewith is a Baker's dozen, nay, a double baker's dozen (or is it a baker's double dozen?) of Johnny, because he simply can't be contained in only 13 songs.

Sing it, Sir Johnny, and rest in peace with your lovely bride.

1) I'd like to move a train farther down the line. Farther from where? [NJ Sue: Farther from Folsom Prison]

2) How high is the water? [KG: Various depths up to five feet high and risin']

3) What's hotter than a pepper sprout? And what are we going to do about it? [Maggie May: The fever in which we got married, and we're going to Jackson because the fire went out]

4) Why didn't it cost me a dime? [NJ Sue: Because I built it one piece at a time, from parts I stole one at a time over the course of 30+ years while working at the Cadillac factory]

5) I grew up quick and I grew up mean. Why? [KG: Because my daddy named me Sue]

6) Why do I keep my eyes wide open all the time? [KG: Because you're mine, and for that reason I walk the line]

7) Times were hard and things were bad, and we were trying to make a living out blackland dirt. But what did Daddy do? [NJ Sue: Daddy sang bass, while Mama sang tenor]

8) I was bound by wild desire and fell for you like a child. What happened to me? [KG: I fell into a burning ring of fire, and no I haven't heard the punk version]

9) Quick! Who's on the left? [NJ Sue: I realize that there can be some confusion between objects and subjects, so this one goes to Sue. Also, she has to put up with Mr. Bingley, so she is a Saint and would get credit even if she had answered "Watermelon". The actual lyric is "The one on the right was on the left, and the one in the middle was on the right, and the one on the left was in the middle and the guy in the rear was a Methodist". And no, I don't really know why Methodists should be such an object of mockery...]

10) The beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad, so I had one more for dessert. What did I find in my closet? [KG: I found and put on my cleanest dirty shirt]

11) He changed his clothes and shined his boots and combed his dark hair down. What did his mom cry out as he walked out the door? [KG: She cried "Don't take your guns to town, son, leave your guns at home, Bill"]

12 At my door the leaves are falling, a cold wild wind has come, and sweethearts walk by together. But what do I do? [KG: I still miss someone (and I never got over those blue eyes...)]

13) Quick! What should you do when you get the blues? [KG: Get rhythm, of course]

14) Hey, look a-yonder! What's comin' down that railroad track and rollin' down the seaboard line? [Maggie May: That old Orange Blossom Special, coolest train this side of the Wabash Cannonball]

15) Hey! Who should tell me how long till we cross that Mason-Dixon line, and tell the engineer to ring his bell when we get to Dixie? [Mr. Bingley: Hey Porter, tell me and the engineer this stuff!]

16) An old cowboy saw a mighty herd of red-eyed cows plowing through the ragged sky. Who was herding those cows? [Maggie May: Ghost Riders in the Sky]

17) I'm tired and weary and I must go alone till the Lord comes and calls. What will there be for me someday? [KG: There'll be peace in the valley for me]

18) Boys hung 'round her by the score but she loved the boy next door. Where did he work? [Mr. Bingley: He works at the candy store]

19) Quick! Who lives fast and dies young? [Mike: Bull riders live fast and die young]

20) Well if you want to ride you gotta ride it like you find it. Ride what? [Anon in TX: The Rock Island Line, coolest train this side of the Orange Blossom Special]

21) God gave me that girl to lean on, then he put me on my own. What happens, even if I don't like it? [KG: I don't like it but I guess things happen that way; on further consideration, it was my mistake and his first answer that I'll forget her someday is acceptable, I had simply forgotten that line]

22) I met her accidentally in St. Paul, Minnesota. What tore me up? [NJ Sue: She tore me up every time I heard her drawl that southern drawl]

23) I rode with sword and pistol by my side, and many a young maid lost her baubles to my trade. Who am I? [NJ Sue: The Highwayman]

24) On Flanders Field she got a big hole from a Bertha Gun, and she turned blood red in World War II. She's been burned, dishonored, denied an' refused. Who is she? [NJ Sue: She's a ragged old flag]

25) For the poor and the beaten down, for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime, for those who never read, for the sick and lonely old, and for the thousands who have died, what do I do? [NJ Sue: For all of these, I dress in black]

26) I said stick 'em up everybody I'm robbin' this place, drop all of your money in my guitar case. Then a lady said, why you're "Johnny Cash". But I said "no ma'am". Who did I tell her I was? [Lisa: I told her I was the "Manhattan Flash", and y'all really should check out that Johnny Chicken show...]

Pretty amazing picture

Vividly demonstrates why the air has been a bit smoky in these parts recently.

A couple of nights ago, we thought the smoke was from the Lick fire, which is near the area where I work. Not so. The smoke from that fire is blowing south to Monterey. Our smoke is from the Moonlight fire in Plumas county, near Susanville and Lake Almanor (>28,000 acres at last count, and the Lick fire is a respectable 15,000 acres).

Anyway, here is a satellite picture stolen from here:

As a scale for reference, the direct distance between the two spots marked as the fires is a little over 200 miles.

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

This thread is dedicated to everyone who has to work with someone who deserves to hear the following four words loud, in digitally mastered stereo enhanced by THX:

GROW THE FUCK UP.

I can't go into details; most of us can't when it comes to talking about our jobs online, but let's just say I'd like to shout it through a bull horn right now.

Is it five o'clock yet? Even better, anybody got a useful excuse for starting to drink before then?

Late to the game

Man. All the good Hsu jokes are taken.

I wonder if the Manolo has anything to say about it.

Goodbye, Louie

Nothing much to say, his voice and career speak for themselves.

Italian tenor Pavarotti dies at age 71
By ALESSANDRA RIZZO, Associated Press Writer

ROME - Luciano Pavarotti, whose vibrant high C's and ebullient showmanship made him the most beloved and celebrated tenor since Caruso and one of the few opera singers to win crossover fame as a popular superstar, died Thursday. He was 71.

Goodbye, Louie. And thanks for being here.

Unsung heroes

Today we sing the praises of Keith Lingenfelter. A life's work, donated to the public.

Trip report

So I'm back. Got a couple of dove, for a shooting success rate of approximately 10%. Bastards fly too fast and flit around too much, but at least I didn't burn up quite the whole box of shells.

But aside from that, I spent most of the time sorting pictures. Well, except for that time I had to spend on the roof. The tin roof. In the sun. The broiling sun. Thank goodness it only got up to barely 100° yesterday.

What happened was that I arrived Saturday afternoon, turned on the swamp cooler and the water thereto to make sure the house stayed cool. Then I went out dove hunting for the evening. Came back, watched a little TV, crashed for the evening.

Woke up in the morning to a steady drip-drip-drip in the living room. Turns out that with the non-usage of the swamp cooler since last year, some debris had blown inside it during the winter, which plugged up the drain. That water that was going inside the housing overflowed, leaked into the attic, and likely soaked the insulation before seeping through the ceiling. Well, I don't much like going in the attic, so I just left it open to dry out, put some towels down to sop up the water in the carpet (followed by a fan to dry it out), got up on the roof in the broiling sun to unclog the drain, and life is now okay. So far.

Anyway, much of the time I spent sorting pictures and identifying the people I could. I basically sorted into two categories, one being those pictures within my life (this being the second priority category), and those before, which are the ones I am trying to scan for posterity and distant relatives, and (not coincidentally) desperately trying to identify the unknown folks in them while there are still older folks living who might be able to do so. I cruelly badgered my beloved Auntie before she passed away, and we identified many people but I keep finding more old pictures including one box about which I have no clue. Almost certainly relatives of some type but few clues and, as is typical for my family, NOT A DAMNED ONE WITH A PROPER IDENTIFICATION ON IT. Curse those genes that keep us from properly identifying pictures!

Anyway, among the pictures I found some of me and I decided that once again it was time to post pictures of yours truly. I have done so before, but it has been some time. So without further ado, here is Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life:

"Listen up, mofo, you talkin' ta me? You talkin' ta ME?????"

You best not be talkin' to me, because I have been trained in the Sweet Science:

That's right baby. Float like butterfly and sting like a bee. Or maybe it was the other way around. Hard to remember.

Aw never mind, let's just go have a brewski.

UPDATE: Man. I just couldn't pass up this one. No silly remarks, this is me with my grandma.

Country/Western Trivia (Grateful Dead Edition)

UPDATE: I'm back, and very nicely done, KG and Joel!

Yeah, I know, you think I'm yankin' your chain, don't you? Well, not at all.

For those of you who only know them by reputation and studio albums, the Dead actually played a pretty fair number of country songs in concert. In fact, they actually had a few songs of their own that can reasonably be called "country/western".

Well, I want to keep this short because I'm going to be out of touch over the long weekend and I'm ABSOLUTELY NOT GOING IN TO WORK. Not going in to work is one reason (of two) I want to be out of touch this weekend. The other is that there are doves that need killin' and cookin', and I can't possibly let down my fellow countrymen by not doing so. No need to thank me, I'm happy to do my part.

Anyway, since I will not be available, this is the only quiz this weekend (no Rock 'n' Roll, sorry kids) and I will leave it up all weekend. Because I will have no internet access. Also because I'm sure there will be few of y'all around to try to answer the questions this weekend. Seeing as how it's a three-day weekend. And all.

Where was I? Oh yeah, the quiz. Some songs were used before in other contexts, but that don't hardly matter on a holiday weekend. A baker's dozen (minus three) of Grateful Dead Country/Western questions:

1) Where was I shocked by a foul, evil deed I had done?

2) He was a one and only rebel child. What did he do on his 21st birthday?

3) She was fresh in town, perhaps because a stage line now runs from Hell. What's her name and what town did she just arrive in?

4) For what would I trade all my tomorrows?

5) What are two reasons I cry away each lonely night?

6) He ain't so big, he's just tall. Who?

7) I taught the weeping willow how to cry. What will flood from my tears?

8) He taught me good, taught me all I know. I learned so well that I took the dough and left him dead by the side of the road. Who was he?

9) My Mama told me and my Papa told me too. What shouldn't I be doing?

10) I'm going where the climate suits my clothes, where the water tastes like wine, and where the chilly winds don't blow. What am I doing?