it comes in pints?

Leonid Kinskey? (Updated)

UPDATE: Tossed in another classic at the end and a comment in the middle

Who the hell is Leonid Kinskey?

I ask because, via RightWingProf, I learn that Jonah Goldberg is linking to some youtube clips of classic TV intros. Wow. Except for a few later ones, it's a trip down memory lane.

Pretty cool. Have a look. But the one that got me was watching "Hogan's Heroes". Seriously, who the hell is Leonid Kinskey? He's in the opening credits of the pilot, as are all the other regulars from the earliest several seasons except Larry Hovis (who has died, BTW, how come nobody told me?) but that seems to be the only episode he was ever in. I've never seen it but it would be a trip to do so.

Anyway, here is that intro, with one of the coolest theme songs from 60s TV:

UPDATE: Here's a later (color) version. Another one I remember I can't find; the clip of Larry Hovis ended with his eyes getting wide as he realizes he's just about to blow himself up with the chemicals he's mixing (and I do, indeed, remember that episode). Damn. I think I know what I'll be looking for on my next Borders run.

And BTW, if anyone can come across a version of "The Odd Couple" with the original spoken introduction (both versions), please drop it in the comments. I'm putting it as I remember it below the fold. Think of them as you watch that clip:

On November 13th, Felix Unger was asked to remove himself from his place of residence. That request came from his wife.

Deep down, he knew she was right. But he also knew that someday he would return to her.

With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of his [childhood] friend, Oscar Madison. Several years earlier, Madison's wife had thrown him out, requesting that he never return.

Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?

Note the bracketed word. Can't find a link to back it up, but I am dead certain that word was in the intro the first season, then dropped. A later episode had Felix and Oscar meeting for the first time as adults but I forget the exact circumstances. It was, after all, more than thirty years ago, before many of you in the vast readership were born. Anyway, please drop a link or comment if you have any light to shed on this vastly important topic.

UPDATE: Here's that other classic. I never actually watched the show except for bits and pieces here and there, but it looked pretty good. Played very tongue-in-cheek. And the intro is great:

Quote of the day

I don't know what it is with students asking the moon from us and then getting unhappy when the best we can give them is a funky-looking cratered rock.

Hang in there, kiddo. It will get better.

R.I.P.

Margaret Truman, 1924-2008

Nothing better to do

Only work. But after a brief email exchange with my buddy Julie, I decided to post this. Just for the halibut.

More goofy stuff here.

Country/Western Music Trivia (Ricky Skaggs Edition)

So after that aMAzing video posted earlier, how could I do anything but post a Ricky Skaggs edition? I mean, besides getting down on my knees and properly thanking the Lovely Laura for posting it first.

As with some others, he's not my favorite when it comes to country music, at least when it comes to the garden variety-bland-new wave-pop-crossover-formulized country music. Unfortunately, the first few songs I heard by him, lo these many years ago, were exactly that as he tried to build a career and following in the mainstream garden variety-bland-new wave-pop-crossover-formulized country music.

Ah, but then, through the magic of KFAT ("KFAT is the only dead radio station you can listen to on your computer. It doesn't even smell up your speakers - not too badly, anyhow") and its successor incarnations, I discovered his bluegrass side. Man, what a whiz on the old mandolin, right up there with The Bluegrass God Bill Monroe (who, by the way, is in not only the Country Music Hall of Fame, but also in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame). And what a collection of great music, as my buddy Julie will tell you.

Not only that, but after hearing some of his mainstream country material later, I appreciated it more than I had at first.

Anyway, without further nonsense, here's some goodness from Ricky Skaggs: And yes, it's earlier in the week than usual, but it's my gig and if I don't do it I'll forget because I'm only slightly younger than Legos.

1) I've wasted time and money too; and squandered youth in search of truth. But in the end I had to lose. What do I have?

2) Now I got a gal that's sweet to me, who just ain't what she used to be and is just a little high headed. What shouldn't you do?

3) My favorite thing to hear is "Daddy, I’m so glad you home." What do I live?

4) You're a river of light on the bayou and you're just like rain. What are you?

5) These lonely nights are drivin' me insane, but before I'll hurt the one I love so dearly what will I do?

6) Now you better do some thinkin' and then you'll find what?

7) He played an old tune they called the "Soldier's Joy", one they called the "Boston Boy", and one called "Jennie Lynn". Who did?

Morning chuckle

This is sheer, freakin' genius.

There are others available but this is the best one I've seen.

UPDATE: Another (unrelated) chuckle.

Random "Lawrence of Arabia" quote strangely applicable to stories ripped from today's headlines

No particular reason or story, but I just happened to come across it while perusing old posts and it seemed strangely applicable to the current crop of both Dembulbs and Rethuglicans:

There may be honor among thieves, but there's none in politicians

Goodbye

Corrupt slug.

(Found by accident while looking for a link to Legos)

I'll be darned

Legos are even older than I am.

Shut up. You knew there were things older than I am. Besides dirt.

What's for dinner? (updated)

I'm glad you asked again, because I got nuthin' on the trivia front. Took the first disc of the Carter Family CD set (five CDs total) but I want to do them as they deserve so it won't be this weekend.

On the dinner front, basically a repeat of last weekend. I made the shrimp/corn chowder yesterday and it came out really well, i.e., properly thick. Tonight I'm doing a repeat of the chicken-fried pork chops, accompanied by asparagus with Hollandaise sauce (from this morning when I made Eggs Benedict). Okay, truth be told, the hollandaise was not spectacular because I cut some corners, specifically, I used whole eggs instead of just the yolks because I have no use for the whites by themselves and I'm too damned Scotch and Honorary Jew to let them go to waste. Still, the hollandaise is passable and the Sainted Bride picked up some asparagus at the store (as well as pork chops, which is why I'm cooking those again).

The difference this time? I'm making the scrapple, too. Huzzah! The dear Father-in-law is proud (SB talked to them on the phone while the scrapple was a WIP). He grew up the child of a poor immigrant family in the slums of Philadelphia, same neighborhood as Bill Cosby, in fact, and says that he loved scrapple as a kid. Not that he actually knew the Cos, he grew up several years before the Cos inhabited the same neighborhood, but what the hey. It's still pretty cool.

I've never tried making scrapple before. Before I took off for college thirty-some-umpty-ump years ago, I once made fried cornmeal mush (basically, scrapple without the meat and spices) and it was pretty good. I just haven't tried since. And I'm on an "American" food kick recently, I decided to give it another go. I have high hopes.

Meantime, apologies for no trivia. I'll try to do something next week. Oh well, what the hell, here's a single musical trivia question which anyone should get if they've been paying attention:

I've got a place in Heaven, sir, to do what?

UPDATE: Oh man, I was browsing through the Frug again. Came across a recipe for fried biscuits. I did those once many, many moons ago. Drool. Have to do it again. Soon.

That sound you hear...

...is the sound of, well, I don't know what:

Junior Spears to give up her baby

Jamie Lynn Spears has agreed to give up her unborn baby, it has been claimed.

The 16-year-old sister of troubled singer Britney Spears will reportedly give the child to her mother Lynne as soon as it is born, so she can focus on her career.

You could hear it talk, you could hear it sing (updated)

This. Is. So. Freakin'. Cool.

Via the lovely Laura.

UPDATE: Okay, so I'm a sappy old fart. I couldn't resist posting the lyrics to another song. Along with "Uncle Pen", it's another favorite, and brings me almost to tears anytime I hear it. Joel understands that, I'm sure. Lyrics posted after the "Uncle Pen".

This is one of my favorite bluegrass songs of all time.

I'll never forget that mournful day old Uncle Pen was called away
He hung up his fiddle, hung up his bow, he knew it was time for him to go

Late in the evening about sundown, high on a hill above the town
Uncle Pen played the fiddle, lord how it would ring, you could hear it talk, you could hear it sing

Another favorite that tears me up whenever I hear it. I'm leaving in the repeated lines because in the context of the song it works so well - the second iteration is a bluesy halfstep lower. If you've never hear it, find a copy to understand what I mean:

I sell the morning paper, sir, my name is Jimmy Brown
Everybody knows I am the newsboy of the town
You can hear me yelling "Morning Star" as I run along the street
I have no hat upon my head, no shoes upon my feet
I have no hat upon my head, no shoes upon my feet

My father died a drunkard, sir, I've heard my mother say
And I am helping mother, sir, as I journey on my way
Mother always tells me, sir, I've nothing in this world to lose
I've got a place in Heaven, sir, to sell the Gospel News.
Never mind, sir, how I look, don't look at me and frown
I sell the morning paper, sir, my name is Jimmy Brown
I sell the morning paper, sir, my name is Jimmy Brown

Quote of the day

I just couldn't let this one go without its own post. True, it is indeed possible that one's first thought, upon encountering an unconscious person, is to call an Olsen twin. So let this be a reminder to all people to learn a lesson to override one's first instinct:

and if you find me pass out, please call the paramedics before you call one of the olsen twins

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

People who drive fast in the right hand lane while it's raining so heavily outside that mini-oceans have formed in the already ill-equipped gutters of Los Angeles that wind up generating tsunamis that shower pedestrians can FUCK OFF.

And the people that take the care to deliberately SLOW DOWN so they don't do this have my thanks. Not that it matters much after the first guy.

Have a great fucking weekend.

Kill the trees!

Let the Sun Shine In! (Via Instapundit - note that the SJMerc story linked by Instapundit requires registration but I think the CocoTimes link doesn't)

And why shouldn't we kill them? They're trying to kill us.

Cool

Deb's right. The Hello Kitty rifle is cool, but the "bARbie-15" is pretty cool too.

'Tis the morning for amusing videos

Found via Randy Barnett, the unaired 1994 pilot of "24".

Another gift for Emily

[chuckle snort]

"It is a privilege to be an actor because you know that you really are of no help to anyone..."

"As an actor, when you drive past an accident and you see it, you don't do anything because you don't want to be involved with insurance and any sort of litigation..."

A gift for emily

But I gotta say that, impressive as it is, someone has WAAAAYYYY too much time on their hands.

Hey, how come nobody told me?

As usual, the crotchety old fart is always the last to know.

I like it

"GET OFFA MY LAWN!"

Jeez, this is bad tonight

I needed another upper. So here's a pic of a great guy, very handsome dude who has a way with kids. Both my girls loved him when they were little, and got his autograph nearly twenty years ago. I was reminded of him recently.

Roscoe, keep up the good work, sir. Even though I can hardly believe you're 63 now. Man, how time flies.

That tears it

Needed an upper. And since the only candidate who even talks a Federalist game is out, there's only one answer:

Another time I wish I was religious

I don't normally gloat and cheer when someone dies. But in this case I'll make an exception.

Stayner's kidnapper dies in prison
By M.S. Enkoji - menkoji@sacbee.com
Last Updated 3:47 pm PST Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The man who in 1972 kidnapped 7-year-old Steven Stayner, who eight years later saved another boy from the same fate, died Monday evening at the California Medical Facility in Vacaville.

Kenneth Eugene Parnell, 76, became one of the most notorious kidnappers of the century after he was turned in by the Merced boy. Stayner's amazing fortitude when he led another kidnap victim to authorities and to his own rescue after missing for eight years made him a celebrated hero.

Parnell, who died of natural causes...

...according to the state Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation, was serving 25 years to life after he tried to persuade a caregiver to buy a 4-year-old boy for him for $500.

Parnell was sentenced to nearly 11 years for kidnapping the Stayner boy and another 5-year-old Ukiah boy. He was released on parole in 1985.

Parnell had harbored the boy he lured off the street for eight years, posing as his father and moving from place to place. When Parnell kidnapped the second boy, Stayner, by then a 15-year-old, hitchiked with the boy to a police station in Ukiah.

He told officers he wanted to save the boy from his ordeal.

Parnell [spit] so horribly destroyed that family and I only wish I could have thrown the switch to fry his sorry ass. Or have gotten the chance to shiv him myself.

Burn in hell, motherfucker.

Wahoo!

Is this just too freakin' beautiful or what?

Excellent!

Our local RWDB Radio is currently talking about Iowahawk and the Media Violence Project. RDWB person Mel has even responded to Future President Burge. He responded back and now there will apparently be violence done.

Should have seen that one coming.

Another small chuckle

The finance dude on the radio, talking about the Federal Reserve cutting interest rates, just referred to them as "Bennie and the Feds".

I'm sensing opportunity for a parody...

Good answer!

Heard this actual clip on the way to work. Say what you want about the pressing issues of the day, I still love it when a candidate gets off a good punch line.

During a candidates' debate Monday in the Southern state of South Carolina, CNN co-host Joe Johns brought up Clinton's popularity among African-Americans and author Toni Morrison's label of "our first black president."

Obama did acknowledge that Clinton, who is white, had an "enormous affinity" with US blacks.

"I would have to, you know, investigate more of Bill's dancing abilities ... before I accurately judge whether he was in fact a brother," he deadpanned, drawing a laugh from the largely black audience.

Another quote of the day

But this one will be for yesterday:

Break those threads. And don't worry too much about trampling a few of the Lilliputians underfoot.

What she said

Quote of the day from Deb.

What's for dinner?

I'm glad you asked. Now, I'm not a real chef or gourmetdude like Brian. Hell, I don't even have orgasms in my buns like the Burfday Boy. But I do alright, I guess.

Anyway, on the menu tonight, courtesy of the Frug*, are a couple of all-American dishes:

Chicken-fried pork chops**

Shrimp and corn chowder

There will be another vegetable sidedish but I haven't yet decided what it will be. I had strongly considered taking my first try at making scrapple, or at least fried cornmeal mush, but just don't have the time for it this week. Maybe another time.

*Yeah, I know. Don't give me no shit about it.

**Heh. Reminded me of a blast from the past. Mamas, don't let your cowboys grow up to be babies.

Can't find a direct link

So go here and look at the video titled "Sesame Street Not for Kids?"

Okay, I do understand why some of the material wouldn't be used today but somehow having a parental warning is a bit overmuch.

UPDATE: Thanks to Deb for pointing that that link requires a login. I thought I had gotten rid of the cookies, so I thought it didn't require it. Not to worry, though. I did find a similar (Fox version) story here:

I notice, though, that the part of the CBS version that bothered me most doesn't seem to be in that one. I did manage to find the same video on the CBS News site but can't find a way to link directly. You'll have to go there and scroll.

And just for the record, I know Gordon is a decent guy, but that part still bothers me a little.

Dang

Lost two more. Emily Hartley and Corporal Henshaw.

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (Doctor Demento Edition)

UPDATE: Last one nailed and all answers noted.

Okay, perhaps it doesn't all fit the category of Rock 'n' Roll, but I do have a soft spot for novelty songs. I love 'em and I listened to the good Doctor when I was in junior high back in the early Pleistocene Era.

Also, we made our occasional pilgrimage to Borders today, in conjunction with getting back the regular computer, because I had a couple of gift cards burning a hole in my pocket. Picked up a Doctor Demento CD set; just saw it on the shelf and had to have it. And I took it on my regular weekend bike ride and now this. 'Cause I got nothin' else.

Well, except for the Carter Family CD set I also picked up at a great price and which will be the focus of a future C/W Trivia edition or two. Also, Doctor D will be the subject of another trivia edition in the future because it is also a multi-disc set. And because I just love this silly stuff.

But that is then and this is now, and some of these will be mega-easy but let's have some fun, eh?

1) The ghouls all came from their humble abode to do what? (Two answers acceptable, but one is preferred) [Laura and Julie: To get a jolt from my electrode, and to do the Monster Mash]

2) The nation rise as one to send their honored son to the White House to voice their discontent unto the President upon a burning question that has swept this continent. And what is that question? (Again, two acceptable answers) [JohnW: "Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?" I believe John actually misheard the other question, which (and yes, I searched to be sure I had it right) is: "If tin whistles are made of tin, what are foghorns made out of?"]

3) When that clock strikes midnight and I'm all by myself, I work that combination on my secret hideaway shelf. What do I pull out? And then what do I do? [Wolfwalker has the right song, anybody remember the exact lyric?]

4) The head coach wants no sissies, so he reads to us from something called "Ulysses". Where am I? [Julie and Wolfwalker: Camp Granada]

5) He swung from the tree and lit on the ground and started to rock, really rockin' around. Who is he? [Wolfwalker: The Purple People Eater]

6) We were doing 120 MPH, as fast as I could go, but he pulled alongside of me as if we're going slow. What was he driving and what did he ask me? [Laura: A little Nash Rambler, "How can I get this car out of second gear?"]

7) You've been keeping love from me just like you were a miser. But I went out and found myself a guy that's so much wiser who taught me the way to win your heart. Who was he and what did he teach me? [Laura: The Witch Doctor, who taught me so say "oo ee oo ah ah, etc."]

8) He lives in the jungle and hangs from his knees, swings through the trees without a trapeze in his BVDs. Who is he? [Thornharp: Git-tarzan]

9) My basketball coach done kicked me off the team. Why? [Zendo Deb: For wearing high-heeled sneakers and acting like a queen]

And here come a couple that I think are real toughies:

10) My red corp-suckles are in mass confusion. What am I never going to do again? [Wolfwalker: Ain't never never never gonna speed again]

11) What aren't much fun? (And yes, I am thoroughly ashamed to have included this one) [Caltechgirl: Dead puppies]

Random "Beverly Hillbillies" quote strangely applicable to stories ripped from today's headlines

"It was the War Between the North and the Yoo-nited States of America!"

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

You know, even when you take away the fruity Xenu shit (which is pretty much the least troublesome aspect of Clamacosis. I don't give a crap what they believe, only the way they treat others in the name of it), the exploitation, intimidation, creepy "us versus them" attitude in the delusional name of saving the world, and the simple fact that the entire damn premise of its founding was a goddamm SCAM meant to rip people off and make a fat, miserable wretch of an untalented man rich, this video of Tom Snooze once again going batshit on camera pretty much illustrates why my tolerance ends when it comes to this rubbish.

It's all about ME. MY happiness. MY success. MY fullfillment. MY betterment. I and the only few like me are the only ones that will save the world. And if you don't like it, get the fuck out of my life. I don't care how long you've known me, how much you've cared for me, or what you are willing to do to protect me. Because it's all about ME. ME. ME. ME. The only time it isn't about ME and is actually about somebody else, it's only because they're useful to achieve MY ends. Once they're not, they're out with the trash. Don't like it? Too bad. You're not one of us and that makes you expendable.

Fuck that.

Separated at birth?

Couldn't resist.

Happy Birthday, and GET A HAIRCUT, HIPPIE!

Quote of the day

Once again, it's actually from a few days ago but I just saw it.

The issue of secession was settled by the supremest of supreme courts in the [Appomatox] Courthouse at in the case Grant v. Lee. Lee lost a unanimous decision.

Humor

This is great. Stolen from Physics Geek:

After having dug to a depth of 20 meters last year, English scientists found traces of copper wire dating back over 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network 200 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the English, in the weeks that followed, Scottish scientists dug to a depth of 30 meters, and shortly after, headlines in the UK newspapers read: 'Scottish archaeologists have found traces of 300 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the English.'

One week later, The Daily Jigger, an Irish newspaper, reported the following: 'After digging as deep as 40 meters, Paddy McMahon, a self taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing'.

Paddy has therefore concluded that 400 years ago Ireland had already gone wireless.

Bobby Fischer, 1943-2008

Grandmaster and lunatic.

My friends and I followed the 1972 match with Spassky closely. In hindsight, I suppose the whole world should have seen his meltdown(s) coming even in that match.

Good Grief!

How in the ever-lovin' blue bloody blazes did I miss this for days???????

Peter, my little buddy, you rock.

And in the category of "Man Bites Dog"

I should finally get my regular computer back tomorrow. Meantime, I'm forced to check email online, which means I have to go to the Comcast homepage. They have news links and such. Not sure if a password is required, and since I was deathly afraid to click on the link anyway I won't provide one, but I swear to Xenu that as of this moment there is a linked video story on that site that says:

Rosie Gets 'Annoying' on Tape

Quote of the Day

From Greg Morris (link found in the comments at Robb's place):

Robb suggests a reasonable compromise. Basically, if you can prove you already have a gun, the mandatory waiting period would no longer apply, since apparently the "goal" of the waiting period is to prevent "crimes of passion".

How about just amending the 4473 to say "I really, really promise I'm not pissed off right now and just buying a gun to teach that cheating whore a lesson." Note both the irony and tongue-in-cheekiness of that statement... and also how putting a statement like that on the 4473 would do about as much good as a waiting period. Ooh, ooh, better yet: "I understand that commission of a crime with a firearm is a crime (write out yes or no)."

Oh yeah!

COOLEST DISCLAIMER OF ALL TIME!

Via Tam, who calls it the Robert A. Heinlein Memorial Disclaimer.

The Hell???

Even for the ACLU, this is a stretch:

ACLU: Sex in restroom stalls is private
Tue Jan 15, 11:15 PM ET

ST. PAUL, Minn. - In an effort to help Sen. Larry Craig, the American Civil Liberties Union is arguing that people who have sex in public bathrooms have an expectation of privacy.

[...]

The ACLU filed a brief Tuesday supporting Craig. It cited a Minnesota Supreme Court ruling 38 years ago that found that people who have sex in closed stalls in public restrooms "have a reasonable expectation of privacy."

That means the state cannot prove Craig was inviting an undercover officer to have sex in public, the ACLU wrote.

[...]

The ACLU argued that even if Craig was inviting the officer to have sex, his actions wouldn't be illegal.

"The government cannot prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Senator Craig was inviting the undercover officer to engage in anything other than sexual intimacy that would not have called attention to itself in a closed stall in the public restroom," the ACLU wrote in its brief.

The ACLU also noted that Craig was originally charged with interference with privacy, which it said was an admission by the state that people in the bathroom stall expect privacy.

Via Jim Addison at Wizbang, who also notes:

The ACLU is not solely at fault here, as they rely on a Minnesota Supreme Court precedent. One wonders what on earth possessed that Court to rule in such a way.

Heard on the radio

They mentioned a bumper sticker seen:

Monica Lewinsky's Ex-boyfriend's Wife for President

Separated at birth?

I got nuthin', so I'll just take a suggestion from Angie and Alan:

R.I.P.

In this case, the "R" may really mean "roam the night".

Vampira, 1922-2008

Apparently, she lost a lawsuit alleging that Elvira ripped off her character. I can't for the life of me figure out how she lost.

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (George Thorogood Edition)

Man, I needed an upper after that last post. Even though I don't live his life, I like a lot of his music so, because I missed a trivia edition this weekend, here's a small tribute to The Voice That Screams Drano:

1) I can make an old woman blush. What do I do to a young girl?

2) That baby of mine wouldn't let me in. Why not?

3) My whole family done give up on me. Who is the only one who will hang out with me?

4) I ain't seen my baby since I don't know when. What am I drinking?

5) I walked forty-seven miles of barbed wire. What do I wear for a necktie?

6) We at a rock 'n' roll show Havin' nothin' but fun. What time was it?

Shit

Shit

Um, wow

By way of Brian and the Llamabutchers, I learn of the existence of a very bizarre idea for a blog:

Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians

I'd like to add a Tip of the Toke, because somebody must have been smoking some bad weed to come up with that idea.

Quote of the day

And a bit of useful advice from Judith Martin:

You cannot prevent others from having their own interests. But you can eat their cake while they are absent from the room.

I got nuthin'

Too much going on, not enough brainpower to keep up. So there is no trivia quiz today. I know, I'm falling down on the job but between MathCounts this morning and other stuff this afternoon, I haven't been able to put anything together today.

But in the interest of fun (sorta) music stuff, I'll take a suggestion from my lovely pal Julie and suggest that you drop your favorite (as it were) earworm in the comments. Here's one of mine.

And don't make me go all "Small World" on you.

P.S. If the links above don't work correctly, it's because my regular computer is in the shop. The recent storms blew it out even though it was on a surge protector. Don't know when it will be fixed but for right now I'm using an ancient, borrowed laptop. Anyway, I'll recheck the links Monday and fix if necessary. And maybe I'll get a chance to do some trivia tomorrow. We'll see.

Dang

I gotta gets me some of this.

Yes, I'm a bad person

But I just couldn't help myself when I saw the picture:

Caption: "Senator John Kerry and actor George Takei share a laugh while on vacation in Aspen"

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

Holy crap. I almost forgot. It's been that kind of week. And it can fuck off.

Go ahead. The FO floor is yours.

Oh dear

Hillary died.

Not her. Him. Seriously, I thought he had died years ago.

Point of Privilege

So last week I saw this piece by John Scalzi shredding some perfesserdude's concept of "privilege". Now, it seems to have been turned into a meme, which I am hereby stealing (but without a cool title like McGehee and Dustbury have - and BTW, be sure to check out the first comment at Dustbury).

But first, a legal disclaimer:

Premise: bold each of the statements that applies.

Original source: The list is based on an exercise developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University. The exercise developers ask that if you participate in this blog game, you acknowledge their copyright.

And now on to the list:

Father went to college

Father finished college

Mother went to college [Though not a four-year college]

Mother finished college [ibid]

Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor [Three for three, assuming a more distant relation than first cousin counts; of course, I've only met one and that only a few years ago so it didn't really affect me when I was little]

Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers

Had more than 50 books in your childhood home

Had more than 500 books in your childhood home [I eventually collected that many before I got out of high school]

Were read children’s books by a parent

Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18 [Like McGehee, I assume swimming lessons don't count]

Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18

The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively [If you count Dilbert as "positive"]

Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18 [Didn't have a credit card till I was well into my 20s]

Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs [At least I think it was a majority, there were scholarships and student loans involved also]

Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs

Went to a private high school [Not even sure my town HAD a private high school besides the one Catholic school]

Went to summer camp [If you count Boy Scouts]

Had a private tutor before you turned 18 [Shee-yit. I was the tutor but I stupidly did it for free]

Family vacations involved staying at hotels [Putting this down as a no. Stayed at a motel or two and once a weekend in Vegas, but nearly all family vacations were either camping or visiting relatives]

Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18 [I was the oldest so they pretty much had to be]

Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them [Tooled off to college in my Mom's 1969 Pontiac station wagon. Don't laugh, that bad boy could flat fly]

There was original art in your house when you were a child

Had a phone in your room before you turned 18 [Not my own number, there was an extra jack in the room and I bought a used phone at the flea market]

You and your family lived in a single family house

Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home

You had your own room as a child [Not all the time, but from about 6th grade or thereabouts]

Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course [Hell, I don't think they even existed then]

Had your own TV in your room in High School

Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College [???]

Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16 [Twice.]

Went on a cruise with your family [Didn't go on a cruise until I was forty]

Went on more than one cruise with your family

Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up

You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family [I don't know how much the bills were but I know religion was involved]

I don't much follow football

So I wasn't paying attention and didn't hear about it until today. But this makes me smile.

Your laugh for the day

Spent a few minutes catching up on stuff I've missed and just saw this earlier this morning. Via Tim Blair.

Male Rules

Our buddy Mr. B. sent a charming little list of "male rules" around (you might have seen it before; I'm pretty sure I have), and I had a few things to add below the jump.

The funny thing about this list is there are a bunch of items that could equally apply to men I've dated.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

The Battle of The Toilet Seat. Dullest. War. Ever.

1. Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Only Saturday? Pussies.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

I don't expect you to. That's why you're never invited.

1. Crying is blackmail.

Except when it's an emotional response to you acting like an asshole. But I'll remember that the next time a loved one dies and will try not to "blackmail" you with my tears.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! strong hints do not work! obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

I do, the problem begins with guys who don't listen.

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

What's the square root of 36? What did you think of last night's Ducks/Predators game? What's the last book you read? What movie do you want to see this weekend? What's your favorite TV show/sport/car/tool? Where do you want to eat lunch? Where were you born? How old is your sister? What do you do for a living? What is your shoe size?

1. come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

I don't expect you to attend Hello Kitty conventions for me or stick around during a tupperware party, but jeebus, a little emotional support won't KILL you, will it? Do you think it makes you sound macho to basically say "I don't give a shit how you feel"? Because it doesn't.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

Huh?

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

Ditto.

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

I never have.

1. if something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Ah, nothing says "I love you" like a dismissive attempt to placate a person's feelings just to get them to shut up and leave you alone.

1. you can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Um, I do. But thanks for offering.

1. whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Ditto.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

Fine. Get lost all you want, as long as I'm not in the car. If you're too proud to ask for directions, I will. I'll even pretend like you're not the one driving if it will make you happy and get us where we need to go without taking a year of my life.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what Mauve is.

Neither do I. Those colors only exist in catalogs. Memo to dudes: not all chicks like pastel colors.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

Scratch away. Gentlemen tend to be discreet about it, however.

1. if we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing', we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

Is this a trick question? Are we asking when there's not a commercial on? Isn't this what my girlfriends are for anyway? Hasn't this list made it clear that you don't CARE what is wrong?

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Why the fuck would I ask a question I don't want an answer to?

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

Good, so when I wear a potato sack to your parents' 50th wedding anniversary, you won't mind.

1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars.

Okay. Dullard.

1. You have enough clothes.

I know. If I didn't, I would buy more.

1. You have too many shoes.

There's no such thing. When I start storing them in your toolshed, I'll be open for complaints, until then, shut up. I'm entitled to my interests as much as you.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Yes it is. And "lardbelly" is a description. Fat slob is not a boast.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that; it's like camping.

And you'll have the remote all to yourself while I'll get some quality personal time with battery-powered machinery that works better than you! Everybody wins!

Jeebus again

The pit of third-world barbarism that dare not speak its name.

It didn’t attract much notice, but the General Assembly of the United Nations ended the year by passing a disgusting resolution protecting Islam from criticism of its human rights violations.

Time to bring this picture up again:

Jeebus

That's all. Just... Jeebus.

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

I've only managed to sit through a few minutes of reality shows like that one about housewives in Orange County or the Sweet 16 thing on MTV or VH1 or the E! Channel or one of those networks phony people will always say they would never, ever watch because they think it makes them sound smart (the sort of person who also has "I only watch PBS" and "the movie is never as good as the book" in their I'm-Better-Than-Most snob repertoire. People like that can Fuck Off). I guess if audiences find that sort of stuff entertaining, good for them. I don't. I've tried to watch to see what the big deal is, and never got into the format of reality television.

Anyway, my original point about those first two shows I mentioned was supposed to be about how horrified I was at the cluelessness of parents who spoil their children silly. We're not talking letting them stay up late on a school night or spending a little extra money at Christmas. These kids are pampered and pandered to until they go rotten. I don't get parents like that. It may seem like it's a wonderful thing to give your children every little thing they whine for, to always let them have their way, to never tell them "no." The problem is, in the real world, every now and then a person is going to have to hear the word "no." There are a lot of situations where they're not going to be dealing with someone who will just roll over and give them whatever they want. They won't understand it. They'll spend most of their adult life in fractured relationships and conflict because they genuinely cannot figure out why everybody won't just give them their way all the time. In short, they'll be fucking intolerable shitheads.

Or, even worse, they'll be the Trainwreck Who Shall Not Be Mentioned By Name. Take this as a cautionary tale, parents who think a kid doesn't really need an education if they've got money or talent, or that pampering and caving to the whims of your kid because they're pulling a fat paycheck won't have consequences.

And the parents of Trainwreck, who whored the childhood of their children for money without making sure their kids were educated, protected, and surrounded by people they can trust can FUCK OFF big time.

Happy New Year. Your fucking turn.

Quote of the day

"Reports of the McCain campaign's life have been greatly exaggerated."

Woo hoo!

Everybody go call him GRAMPS!