it comes in pints?

And speaking of videos...

I may have just had an orgasm but I can't remember what they are...

No, no new pr0n on the intarwebs this evening. But I was perusing old posts looking for something. And I found it. And it reminded me of something else. So I looked for that. And I didn't find it. But I found something else...

Some that will give send Banjophobe into conniptions.

But first, we should pause and back up for a sec lest we get ahead of ourselves.

Anyway, the upshot is that I came across lots of good stuff at youtube. I couldn't find a particular piece I was looking for, specifically, the GREATEST SOLO PIECE OF ALL TIME EVER PLAYED ON A BANJO OR ANY OTHER INSTRUMENT. It has no actual title, so far as I know, but it's generally referred to as the "Bumblebee Solo". It's on this album And you can hear the actuall passage itself by scrolling down to the preview section and clicking on the arrow next to "3. Shuckin' The Corn (Album Version)".

But if I can't link to the GREATEST SOLO PIECE OF ALL TIME EVER PLAYED ON A BANJO OR ANY OTHER INSTRUMENT, I can have a little fun at the Banjophobe's expense and link to not three, not four, but FIVE FREAKIN' BANJOS!

But even beyond the FIVE FREAKIN' BANJOS, I found some cool stuff from my own personal God.

But before even that, I need to link to this. Man, that is too cool.

Anyway, here is my own personal God, the Mighty Earl Scruggs, playing a few classics:

Fireball Mail

One of his best compositions, Randy Lynn Rag

Paired up with Steve Martin on what is probably his most famous composition, Foggy Mountain Breakdown

BTW, on that last one, the guitar player in the tan jacket is, unless I am terribly mistaken, Vince Gill, who has had a pretty good career as a mainstream country singer in addition to his bluegrass leanings. Much like another guy who just happens to show up in this video as a small boy. Yeah, the little fella just "wants to pick":

My goodness, what a kid. And many years later, he teems up with the GOD EARL SCRUGGS again, in company with the GUITAR GOD DOC WATSON :

Be still my heart.

Man oh man

Laura comes up with the best videos! That Disney Girls link was cool, but even cooler is this one I found when I watched it (unfortunately, embedding is disabled, so link only). Thanks Laura, you rock!

But, though I can't embed the one I wanted to, I can do the next best thing and embed this one:

Welcome, Galactic Confederateers!

On the "Xenu Save Us" post below, we just got visited by some apparent followers of Xenu. I don't understand the language, can anybody translate?

From our good friend Kazelnyp:

"Hi!zkmk! awjtw owcmj srind yizms"

Well Hi yourself, and welcome aboard, Kazelnyp!

From our good friend Kazellja:

"Hi! nwizd muehr xpvnb roxvd"

Hi right back atcha and welcome aboard!

And finally, from our good friend Kazelldh :

"Hi! wtpjy cbcsn ieuyw zffqf"

Hi and welcome to you too, Kazelldh!

Please extend a warm welcome to our new Xenu-worshipping friends!

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

Was it just me, or did this feel like the longest week ever? Until about three o'clock, this week can fuck off.

Still tired. How 'bout you?

Oh lordy lordy lordy

Religious tolerance is offensive to God?

A chaplain who leads a Bible study inside the State Capitol is facing heavy criticism for saying religious tolerance is offensive to God.

Okay, I'll try to be charitable and assume that's not exactly how he phrased it.

The gathering was much smaller than usual after Drollinger blogged that religious tolerance and the work of another non-denominational group were offensive to God.

Drollinger wrote, "Although they are pleasant men in their personal demeanor, their group is more than disgusting to our lord and savior."

Okay, charity is wearing a bit thin now. But I'll still try to maintain some charitability and assume it was just a poor (REALLY POOR) choice of words.

This isn't the first time Drollinger's comments have caused controversy. In 2004, female lawmakers wore aprons to work in protest after Drollinger said women lawmakers who left their children at home were sinners.

This is looking like a pattern, so charity just went out the window.

Bugger off, goober.

Obama does the impossible

Heh heh heh.

Another "American Idol" post

Didn't see hear any (except a few seconds of "Magic Man") or see any (except a couple seconds of the Cruella lady) and some weird thing by Simon. Saw it once last week too.

What's up with that weird "half-Bullwinkle" thing?

Any Patricia Cornwell fans out there?

Shoot me an email. Thanks.

Friday comes early III (updated)

WTF is wrong with the slugs in Congress? They obviously have way too much time on their hands. Don't they know there are baseball and football scandals to investigate?

Pfizer to End Lipitor Ads by Jarvik
Wednesday February 27, 3:40 am ET
By STEPHANIE SAUL

Under criticism that its ads are misleading, Pfizer said Monday that it would cancel a long-running advertising campaign using the artificial heart pioneer Robert Jarvik as a spokesman for its cholesterol drug Lipitor.

[...]

But the campaign had come under scrutiny from a Congressional committee that is examining consumer drug advertising and has asked whether the ads misrepresented Dr. Jarvik and his credentials. Although he has a medical degree, Dr. Jarvik is not a cardiologist and is not licensed to practice medicine.

All he did was invent an artificial heart.

One television ad depicted Dr. Jarvik as an accomplished rower gliding across a mountain lake, but the ad used a body double for the doctor, who apparently does not row.

OOH! Scandal!

[John] Dingell and Bart Stupak, another Michigan Democrat who leads an investigations subcommittee, applauded Pfizer’s decision to withdraw the Lipitor ads.

Dinglell and Stupak. The jokes just write themselves.

Apparently, there is some question whether Jarvik actually invented the artificial heart but that seems to have no bearing on this particular issue. The Congresscritters seem to be concerned that a doctor (with a medical degree) who has worked on artificial hearts for decades but doesn't actually practice medicine is thereby disqualified from being in a commercial.

Unlike, say, an actor who played a doctor on TV.

UPDATE: Forgot to add this part. As one wag put it, pharmaceutical companies have done a lot more for me than have their detractors.

Friday comes early II

Good gawd.

PG&E invests to restore forests, offset carbon emissions
Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Pacific Gas and Electric Co. said Tuesday it will pay about $2 million to help restore two California redwood forests as part of a ratepayer-funded program to offset the utility's greenhouse gas emissions.

PG&E's ClimateSmart program will invest the money in restoration projects in the Garcia River Forest in Mendocino County and the Lompico Headwaters Forest in Santa Cruz County.

Emphasis added. The only saving grace is that this is, so far, a voluntary program for ratepayers.

The "carbon offsets" are the first purchased by ClimateSmart, which allows PG&E customers to pay an extra fee to offset emissions from their electricity and gas usage.

Well. Isn't that nice of them to allow customers to pay extra.

More than 17,500 customers have enrolled in the program since it was launched in June, and the average residential customer pays less than $5 a month to participate.

Proving P.T. Barnum right yet again.

Friday comes early I

Aw. I'm crying here. Learn to pay your f**king bills, deadbeat.

I know what I'll be talking about this week.

This amuses me

So I'm going through my normal evening ablutions (brushing, flossing, shaving the back and ears) and I flip on the History Channel. They have a show on about trucks and diesel engines. Interesting enough for the toiletries.

Then a commercial comes on. Apparently, they will have a show on Friday night about the U.S.S. Enterprise and its adventures during WWII.

And it will be sponsored by Enterprise.

An "American Idol" post (updated)

I really shouldn't do these because I don't want to get sucked into this vortex. But, for someone who foolishly chose to sing a song originally sung by Freddie Mercury, he did pretty well.

The guy before him, I have no idea if he was any good because I didn't hear him. All I know is that I walked into the room, saw him from across the room, and got confused that people called him "him".

Then I move closer to the TV. Okay, now I get it. But from a distance he really does look female.

And that's it for tonight. Goodnight.

UPDATE: So after posting the post above, I walked into the living room to say goodnight to the Sainted Bride. Dude was singing "Papa Was a Rolling Stone". And doing a fine job. And that is not a song I would ever in a million years any pop singer wannabe on AmId would try. Kudos, son, for the moxie and the rendition.

It's not so bad getting old

Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Tuesdays

Especially this one.

No particular reason to link to that other than the, um, obvious. And the fact that Tuesdays are good days. Because they're not Mondays. Or Fridays. And because it's good to be alive and many years short of over-the-hill. Take a hint from that, dearest Ricki. You're only as old as those you feel ;)

Oh, and I also like Tuesday because it can be a fun day. I had fairly amusing email exchange with our Production Manager today. It partly involved my being old (which I encourage, BTW, because it is much better than the alternative), or at least old enough to miss a joke. Actually, missing that joke was less a function of age than of just not paying attention to pop music during that dark decade known as the 80s. Not that I'd never heard of the guy but his is not a name that comes to my mind right off. And if it had been an aural exchange, instead of email, I would have thought of something completely different. But at least I got to make a chemistry joke out of it, so it's all good. Except that I had neither time nor brain cells to photoshop up something really cool to post here.

In any case, the exchange involved this guy.

And this chemical.

And this guy (had I heard, rather than read, it).

And the line

Since NO ONE liked that crappy singer Adam Ant, I think the wikipedia definition is incredibly appropriate: "Adamantane itself enjoys few applications since it is merely an unfunctionalised hydrocarbon"

which to my mind pretty much sums up pop music in the 80s.

Oh, and the exchange partly involved this guy, but only tangentially and only because I didn't think of that crappy 80s singer earlier.

But just for good measure, I thought I'd link this:

In defense of the New York Times

Yes, I've taken my share of swings at them too. The Gray Lady's reputation has taken some well-deserved hits, most recently over that dopey McCain story last week.

Still, it helps to keep things in perspective so I hereby offer a good word on her behalf:

I really like the Sunday crossword puzzle.

Asked and answered (almost) FINALLY!

Got some great responses to my question about "law", "theory", and "equation" so I guess it's about time I share my physics prof's answer to the question. But before I do, I really should restate the question as:

When is the difference between a "law", a "theory", and an "equation"?

UPDATE: We're zeroing in on it. Take a look at these examples:

Newton's Law of Universal Gravitation: F = G m₁ m₂/r²

Einstein's Theory of Mass/Energy Equivalence: E = mc²

Schrodinger's Time-independent Wave Equation: Hψ = Eψ

UPDATE: So close we can almost taste it. KG nails the basic idea, and Ricki and Julie get the time component (albeit in reverse order):

Setting aside the sense of the word "theory" that is more general than a single equation, all three words mean essentially the same thing and it was the discoverer who chose the word. To some extent, this is a stylistic choice but not completely so. Up to, and into, the 19th century, scientists tended to speak in terms of natural "laws" and their equations were so named. By the 19th century, they would more likely refer to them as "theories". In the 20th century, they came to be called simply "equations". Note that I threw in the word "model", though this would be more like the larger sense of the word theory (like the Theory of Special Relativity, rather than the Theory of Mass/Energy Equivalence.

But partly, the progression from "law" to "theory" to "equation" reflects a growing sense of humility on the part of scientists over time. That is, science progressed from finding God's laws in the natural world to explaining the natural world to (a little more realistically) describing the natural world.

Early "natural philosophers" actually thought they were discovering God's laws, and their theories were so called.

Later scientists realized that any "laws" they came up with would always be tentative and subject to falsification on new evidence (or probably more often, fresh views of old evidence).

I suspect that once quantum mechanics came to be viewed as possibly questioning the very concept of "existence" itself, physicists in particular began to simply use the word "equation" for equations such as these, reserving "theory" for the larger, logically coherent frameworks of equations.

And Bruce's little exercise was really meant to be only that: an exercise, not a serious philosophical discussion. But I hope y'all found it as interesting an exercise as I did.

Xenu save us

I do NOT want this narcissistic bastard anywhere the White House ever again.

"Hillary says"

Right.

In not-totally-unrelated news, Gennifer Flowers is auctioning tapes.

Whatever.

Can we just get this crap over with before I throw up?

Random old Public Service Announcement quote strangely applicable to stories ripped from today's headlines

[paraphrased, and with thanks to the Morning Show for the tip]

This is your brain.

This your brain on Scotch.

Any questions?

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (The Mamas and the Papas edition)

UPDATE: Laura's Daughter weighs in with 15 answers. Out-flippin'-standing! I noted which she answered, but I won't post the answers themselves just yet. Next update: Guessed answers added and unguessed questions bolded. Last update: Eh. I'm just an antsy kind of guy, so the last of the antswers (har!) added.

I've been thinking about doing a trivia edition about these folks for some time now. So yesterday, we made a Costco run and I happened across a Greatest Hits CD at a great price. How cool. Surprisingly, there are actually a couple of songs I had never heard before, despite owning at some time in the distant past a different Greatest Hits collection (on tape, since worn out). Adhering to my self-imposed rules, I shall not include those in the questions below.

Because that would be cheating.

So I hear.

On the other hand, as those of you who have paid attention know, I often include several questions from the same song (sometimes songs plural) when it/they is/are songs I really, really like. And so it is again this time. Deal with it, kids. Though, of course, if you got one of those questions you'll probably get them all and look really, really smart. And it may happen with more than one song. Haven't decided yet.

ANYhow, I do need to add that, outside of the Giant Black Hole of Incredible Talent that is Motown, there are precious few rock or pop acts that do harmonies well. The very best, in my estimation, is the Sainted Beach Boys. The next best, in my own humble opinion, is the Mamas and the Papas. Not only do they sing some wonderful harmonies, they sing some of the best pop songs of the 60s and early 70s.

Strange Interlude: One of the greatest comic lines I ever heard was delivered by Terry Kiser (Bernie of the amusing weekend) on some show I don't remember except for this line. As I recall, it went something like: "These three things I believe: One [don't remember what it was] Two: [I don't remember this one either]. And three: If Cass Elliott and Karen Carpenter had just shared that ham sandwich, they'd both be alive today."

[/tasteless, morbid humor]

Anyway, without further ado and nonsensical, tasteless commentary, here are a bunch o' questions about the Mamas and the Papas:

1) Zal and Denny were working for a penny, trying to do what? [Laura's Daughter: Trying to get a fish on the line]

2) I'd be safe and warm if I was where? [Laura's Daughter: If I was in L.A.]

3) Can't trust what day? [Laura's Daughter: Monday Monday]

4) Where did Sebastian sit, passing a hat? [Laura's Daughter: In a coffeehouse]

5) A girl like me can love just one man. So what do you gotta do? [Julie: You gotta go wher you wanna go]

6) I can't take it and I don't know who can. So what do I do? [Answer: I call your name]

7) What were McGuinn and McGuire doing? [Laura's Daughter: Just-a getting higher]

8) What did I do last night, though I shouldn't? [Laura's Daughter: I saw her again last night]

9) From the time I go to sleep until the morning comes, what do I do? [Laura's Daughter: Dream about you, baby]

10) As a sophomore, where did Cass plan to go before changing her mind? [Laura's Daughter: To Swarthmore]

11) Worn out phrases and longing gazes won't get you where you want to go. What else won't? [Laura's Daughter: Words of love]

12) Summer's here and the time is right for what? [Laura's Daughter: For dancing in the street]

13) What did Denny give Cass? [Laura's Daughter: He gave her love bumps - and a small aside to Nightfly, this is the line about the Mugwumps, when Denny called John and Zal]

14) Each night before you go to bed, my baby, what should you tell all the stars above? [Laura's Daughter: This is dedicated to the one I love]

15) You know you move real good, girl. You move real fine. So do what? [Answer: Kind of surprised this one was not guessed. So shake it up, baby, twist and shout]

16) What did Sebastian and Zal form? [Nightfly: Sebastian and Zal formed the Spoonful]

17) In New York City, what did the clock always say? [Rob: The clock always said "12:30"]

18) What can make me feel this way? [Laura's Daughter: My girl]

19) Everybody's getting fat except who? [Laura's Daughter: Except Mama Cass]

20) Do you want to do this under the moonlight? [Answer: Do you want to dance?]

21) While I'm alone and blue as can be, do what? [Laura: Dream a little dream of me]

22) Tent's low rent. What's hard? [Laura's Daughter: Keeping out the heat's hard]

This more like it

From the days of my misspent youth, with no damned cherry, chocolate, or vanilla:

Another old favorite (couldn't find a picture of their cool corkscrew bottle Scratch that, found one):

And another:

Here's another drink I have never actually seen, but I got a kick out of this ad for it:

But I'm not a huge soda fan, so my alltime favorite was this one:

Bireley's Chocolate Milk (NOT, REPEAT, NOT CHOCOLATE SODA, WHICH IS A CRIME AGAINST GOD AND NATURE)

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

I'm too fucking tired today. The reasons for that can fuck off. It's all yours.

Warning! Science Content! (updated)

UPDATE: Hints added at the end.

That Mythbusters discussion and Ricki's post about it brought up a great question posed to my Physics class in college, and as I leave this veil of tears for the long trek home tonight, I will pose it to you.

It applies a little more to physics than to other disciplines but it is an interesting little poser:

What is the difference between a "law", a "theory", and an "equation"?

First update: Add the word "model" to the mix.

And yes, it's not a perfect explanation of the terms but it definitely is an interesting way to think about them. Second update: Don't overthink it. It's not a "real" definition.

FIRST HINT:

Newton's Law of Gravitation
Einstein's Theory of Relativity
Schroedinger's Wave Equation
The Big Bang Model

SECOND HINT: I may not have asked the right question ;)

Think about it, but not TOO hard.

If You're in the Market for A Guy Fawkes Mask

...you might want to consider mail order. Since members of "Anonymous" have taken to wearing them at their protests, apparently the Clams are lingering in stores that sell them and following the people who purchase one.

Is it Friday yet?

Sweet Baby Jeebus

This is just f**king twelves shades of wrong.

Put on a pottajava, answered the emails from late yesterday, grabbed a cuppajava, then clicked to check on the news. Saw this ad:

This is just wrong. Someone needs to die over this.

UPDATE: I love my DP (NOT F**KING DIET, NOT F**KING CHERRY, NOT F**KING CHOCOLATE) but I just remembered something. Years ago there was, in the wake of an amusing book called Real Men Don't Eat Quiche, another called Real Texans Don't Put Scotch in Their Dr. Pepper. Now, I gather that DP is popular in Tejas, but I haven't read that one and don't get it. Can anybody explain the title of that book? Because I can't imagine ANYBODY putting Scotch in DP for any reason beyond trying to kill the evil triumvirate of diet-cherry-chocolate.

A "Not American Idol" Post before Mythbusters comes on

So I flipped on the TV to catch a few minutes of "Mythbusters" before I crash. The channel was on some "Big Brother" clone show before I changed channels. They had some dopey-looking blond chick and a large-haired black fellow, which two people I kind of gathered are married or otherwise paired together (I won't swear to this, I change the channel fairly quickly),

Anyway, as I changed the channel, all I could think of was Joy and Crabman.

Yes, it's late. Cut me some slack here.

Random "American Idol" comment

Once again, overheard from the other room while doing unrelated chores.

A word of advice: Hon, please don't ever again try to do a Dionne Warwick song unless you're going to nail it. Nightfly's Smokey Robinson rule applies.

UPDATE: Jeez. I know it's not the greatest pop song of all time, but for that prissy Brit jackass to say he never heard of it? Give me a break. And another word of advice to another chick: The inverse of the rule cited above applies: Only Janis Joplin can sound that bad and pull it off.

Quote(s) of the day

Got two on the same incident, and for the life of me I can't remember which one I saw first. But both are by Bruce of Massbackwards, and I honestly can't say which I enjoy more.

"In comments, Bruce notes the recidivism rate is now 0"

and

This was in Brighton, Tennessee, not the Allston/Brighton neighborhood of Meninostan, where rapists' rights are still respected and preserved.

Quite so.

UPDATE: Just a few minutes later, I found another contender for quote of the day, but for a different reason:

“It would be nice if we had more support back home like we did during World War II. But look at how many people were killed in World War II. If a bunch of unpopular small wars prevent another popular big war, I’ll take ’em.”

Quoted by Michael Totten, by way of Phelps.

Well put

Tell it, Pete. Via CTG.

Well

That's shaping up to be the shortest TV episode on record. Just saw, while watching a little bit of "Universe", a teaser for the upcoming episode at 9 PST ("God's Time"). Went something like (parapharased because I don't recall the exact teaser wording), "Constellations - for thousands of years people have been looking to them. Can they tell you your personality? Your future? Yada yada yada (lots more filler to fill in the commercial spot)"

Short answer: No

I have no idea how they will fill the other 59+ minutes, and don't intend to stay up long enough to find out.

An "American Idol" Comment

I don't watch it (no knock on those who do, I just haven't acquired the habit) but I can sometimes hear it from the next room.

Thank goodness that guy changed tempo after a few seconds, because I wanted to reach through the TV and grab him by the throat and shake him ever so ungently and tell him that FOR XENU'S SAKE, "MIDNIGHT HOUR" IS NOT A FRICKIN' DIRGE.

I may be some time getting over this...

Resurrecting old pictures

Well, I got not much else right now so, having some old mnemons jogged recently in various ways, I'll just repost some old pictures.

First, having seen that the Fidelomonster is "stepping down", here's my artist's rendition of exactly why:

Related to this, local RWDB radio had an interview with one Domingo Casanas on this subject. They also touched on the recent silliness involving the iconography in an Obama campaign office, in response to which I sent a link to the t-shirt I designed some time back:

Local RDWB radio personality approved.

NOTE: Possible it's just my system but you may need to right-click and copy the url to see the second one. If this is the case, please email me and I will upload the same pic to photobucket. Thanks for letting me know, Dave. Went ahead and transferred the pic to photobucket.

Minor irritation

I keep hearing that Obama's campaign slogan, "Si, se puede" means "Yes, we can".

No it doesn't.

And I wish someone would break out a Spanish dictionary.

Good thing I'm largely a desk jockey these days

Because tomorrow I am going to be totally stove up and likely incapable of moving anything but fingers.

Yesterday was the fig tree. Today was the guava tree in back. Kind of a monster, and I took it back to the nub. Next weekend, I'll go all Fargo on the brush and limbs sitting in the side yard.

So tonight I shall eat, drink, and be merry. Well, maybe not merry but hopefully at least a bit sauced. Because I suspect that tomorrow I will feel like I died.

UPDATE: Whoever it was that invented the shower massager should be canonized.

Country/Western Trivia (The Genius Roy Clark Edition)

UPDATE: Last of the answers added.

And he is, indeed, a genius when it comes to stringed instruments.

Long ago, I promised to do a Roy Clark edition and I'm finally getting around to it. The Royster has always impressed me with his wizardry on so many different stringed instruments. I've seen him a few times on late-night shows, long ago when I could stay up that late. Whether banjo or guitar or fiddle, he seems to enjoy breaking all the strings but one and never missing a beat. Kind of a show off, I guess, but in the words of the Immortal Dizzy Dean, "It ain't braggin' if you can back it up."

Small aside: I probably won't do a trivia quiz about him because I'm not a fan of the musical style he recorded under his own name, but another Musical Genius who has always impressed me is Billy Preston. I recall an album he put out with a pic of him surrounded by instruments. He plays all of them. A most impressive fellow. Explains why he was a very sought-after backup player for many folks in the 60s and 70s.

Back to the Roymeister: I love this guy. A wizard on the strings, a soulful singer and musician, and with a great sense of humor. The only problem is that some of his best stuff is instrumental. But no problem, those songs also have lyrics, even if the Great and Powerful Roy didn't sing them.

N.B. (literally, "Note to Benny", whoever he is) I included a couple or so songs that Roy played as instrumentals. So sue me. In any case, herewith is a slug o'Roy compiled from my meager collection and brain:

1) (a) My mother did this. So did my brother and my sister. But I never did. What? [Robert: I never picked cotton]

1) (b) My daddy didn't do it either. What did he do? [Robert: He died young from working in a coal mine]

2) You tell me you're leaving but you don't tell my why. We're here at the station and you're getting on. What is all I can think of? [Joel: "Thank God and Greyhound you're gone"]

3) The taste of life was sweet as rain upon my tongue. When? [McGehee: Yesterday when I was young]

4) I let you slip right through my hands. Where were you? [Answer: I had you right on the tips of my fingers]

5) They can play a bugle call like you never heard before, so natural that you want to go to war. It's the best band in the land. What band? [Thornharp: Alexander's Ragtime Band]

6) If I had to do it all over again, how would I do it? [Cowboy Blob: I'd do it with you]

7) You say you're feeling blue and don't know what to do, and life leaves you cold. So what should you do? [Answer: Come on, come on, think summer]

8) Their faces were gaunt, their eyes were blurred, and their shirts were all soaked with sweat. Who were they? [Joel: Ghost riders in the sky]

9) They're rounding up the squares in California and picking off our heroes in New York. When the hippies say they'll overcome us all, how will we hang on? [Answer: We'll hang on with the help of Geritol - anybody else remember that stuff?]

10) That big diesel motor is playing my song. What do I do? [Joel: I "Thank God and Greyhound you're gone" - can't slip nuthin' past Joel, and I had to use this one twice because I get the biggest kick out of this song]

Fargo writ large small

Well, that was kind of fun despite the itching from the splattering sap. I'm putting together a C/W quiz but I thought I'd post this first.

Had to cut back the fig tree in front. Probably should have done it about a month ago but the weather in January sucked so whaddya gonna do? Finally did it. I was chopping up the pruned branches to put in the green waste when a neighbor who has lots of tools and stuff offered the use of his mulcher. This is kind of a kid brother to a woodchipper.

I know essentially nothing about the movie Fargo, having never seen it, but I gather that a woodchipper plays an important role. I am acquainted with such beasts because my Dad had a tree trimming business when I was a teen. Truly, Jason and that dude with the chainsaw were pikers. You want REAL blood and guts horror, rent yourself a woodchipper.

Of course, this mulcher was more of a home-use machine but the principle is the same, and it was powerful and vicious enough to remind me of the old days of chipping up large, long chunks of wood.

Ah, memories. I may just have to rent Fargo sometime...

For the Prof, wherever you may find him

Pennsylvania, I think.

[NOTE: Before we get into the meat of this post, I just have to say that the album I am listening to on vinyl ("VIE-null" for you kids - see below) as I write it really freakin' ROCKS. In the words of Steve Martin, "Hey, these guys are GOOD"]

I haven't had the time or energy to do the evolution responses I wanted to, and I haven't had time or brainpower to make up a new quiz. Been listening to the Sainted Marty Robbins the last couple of weeks on my weekly bike ride, so I have no new C/W or R'n'R questions in my poor, enfeebled brain.

However, the last few posts jogged some old synapses. I'm sure he got the reference, but the Prof's comments about the Shannons reminded me of a sign I made to hang over my dormitory room door, back in the weird old college days of ivy-covered professors in ivy-covered halls. Well, it was in the redwoods so it was more like moss-covered. Certainly one, at least, was pretty moss-covered when we were there. He even had buildings named after him.

Anyway, this sign was right below the one that said "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here", which I stole from a high school English teacher. My buddy Julie, I'm sure, remembers those signs. You remember, J, the one near "Stoner's Alley".

BTW, for the record, my roomie Brad was the stoner, I was the wimp.

ANYway, the previously referenced comments reminded me of a Monty Python sketch I had on an album (NOTE: For you kids, that's a large vinyl disc capable of playing music and spoken word back in the Pleistocene age) called "Monty Python Live at City Center". I can't find any clips from it online, but I found analogous clips and the lyrics containing this particular line that I made into a sign for the dorm room.

You're welcome, I'm sure.

Anyway, I loved the lyrics to this particular song so I thought I would share them, stolen of course. Guess which line I made into a sign for the dorm room (Another Note: the emphasized words below are from the album I own; it's very clear that these are the lyrics sung on the particular album rather than the lyrics listed in the link above):

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya'
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
SOCRATES, HIMSELF, WAS PERMANENTLY PISSED...

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away;
Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am"
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed!

Evolution update

No, not the one I want to write. Our buddy John dropped a link to Shannon Love's take on that nonsensical post by Tony Campolo. ShHe* also confirms what I was able to glean from brief readings of The Origin of Species and The Descent of Man. ShHe* is, however, much kinder than I, chalking it up to willful ignorance and poor scholarship.

Me, I think he knew better and just lied about it.

Unfortunately, it sounds like Ben Stein also fell into this nonsense of ad hominem attacks on Darwin. Here's more from Derbyshire during an earlier flap on the subject.

*Who knew?

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

Dear Clams,
Pardon my blunt French, but are you fucking stupid? Don't answer that. It was a rhetorical question.

Nobody who has the slightest clue about you and the sort of deceptive criminal bullshit that you get up to couldn't figure out in a second that this video (scroll down a bit) was one of your famous plants to make your critics look bad. First of all, I hate to get all "Reuters" on you, but terrorists don't generally refer to themselves openly as "terrorists." Most of them foolishly believe their causes to be just and that their means serve a purpose worthy of sacrifice. You of all the idiots in the world should have a brace on such a concept. Look at what you do in the name of your man Elron Tubbard. Second, they generally don't openly declare their intentions beforehand so that their enemies can see them coming. If they were going to assassinate the commanding General in your Footbullet Brigades, they wouldn't publicly tell him the date they were planning on doing it. If you're going to try and fake out the public, please put an ounce of effort and a little bit of brains into it.

Oh yeah, and did I mention...a few thousand people reported that video to the FBI. Congratulations. They'll now be taking a closer look at the person who produced and posted it. If you ask me, it's about fucking time.

You probably sent that powder to yourselves. Nine times out of ten, I'm certain the "bomb threats" you supposedly receive are phoned in by one of your own as a PR stunt to garner sympathy for your bogus "struggle" against religious intolerance.

Get something straight - the people who want to shut down your criminal operations are not violent. They don't want anyone to get hurt (okay, so I want to see that fucking Midget hauled away in cuffs to Federal Pound Me In The Ass Prison where he belongs, but that's about it). Part of the reason why they're so critical is because they are appalled as decent human beings at the amount of exploitation and abuse you people dish out as policy. They are driven by their compassion and concern for the health, safety and happiness of others. You claim this is your own mission, while all you really want is money and cheap labor. You've gotten away with it for over fifty years now, but the beginning of the end is here. Get used to it. The party is fucking OVER.

And fuck off.

Sincerely,
You Know Who.

For Laura, wherever you may find her

Again, apologies for having to shut down that evolution post. The maggot-felching spammers seem to target particular posts.

And I didn't get a chance yet to add to it in another post. Tomorrow, I hope.

Meantime, here's a special link for the lovely Laura(southernxyl), with more linked here.

As Per Pints Valentine Tradition

Have a happy, romantic holiday.

Do we need a Biological Godwin's Law? (updated)

UPDATE: Apologies all, but I just have to shut down the comments on this on because of the f**king spammers. Thanks all for the comments. I do want to respond to some and will do so in a separate post. Meanwhile, if anyone wants to comment further, please email me and I will put the comment in the post. Again, apologies but I don't have enough time to deal with the maggot-felchers.

Oh please. Here we go again. I'll grant that it's a rather more creative than the usual anti-Darwin rot, but it's still rot and I'm disappointed to see it linked (seemingly approvingly) by Ed Driscoll and Orrin Judd.

This is between bites of lunch, so apologies if it's a bit disjointed. [Quick update: Jill Fallon, at least, looks at it a little more closely and while I still disagree with her religious outlook on the moral questions, at least she's not libeling Darwin - and thanks to her first commenter Andy Alford for a tip to look at Project Gutenberg for some answers; I shall do so, time permitting (he agrees that Darwin did not write the more appalling things) MORE: See update at end of post]

Driscoll I don't know about, but I'm pretty sure the Brothers Judd are adherents to Intelligent Design. Fine, I consider it wrong and unscientific but otherwise I have no particular beef with its fans. But this is just too far off the deep end:

The real danger in Darwin is not evolution, but racism

Tony Campolo is professor emeritus of sociology at Eastern University and served as pastoral counselor to former President Clinton

Given what follows, I'd have guessed counselor to Huckleberry.

Many who support the separation of church and state say that the intelligent design theory of creation ought not to be taught in public schools because it contains a religious bias. They dislike its suggestion that the evolutionary development of life was not the result of natural selection, as Charles Darwin suggested, but was somehow given purposeful direction and, by implication, was guided by God.

Arguing for what they believe is a nonprejudicial science, they contend that children in public schools should be taught Darwin's explanation of how the human race evolved, which they claim is value-free and depends solely on scientific evidence.

That's a little too simplistic but it's essentially right. The Darwinian model is the basic unifying model for biology, and as such, is the model to teach even if it is not "correct" in some absolute sense (and I don't believe Darwin's original formulation is "correct" in an absolute sense). It is the starting point, just as we still teach Newtonian ("wrong") physics before moving on to relativity.

In terms of science, Darwin's account may be solid indeed. But value free? Nothing could be further from the truth - and that's where the problem lies.

Hold on, kids, it's going to be a loopy ride.

Some creationists fear Darwin because his theories contradict their literal biblical belief that creation occurred in six 24-hour days.

Of course, there are also the theories of geology, chemistry, and physics. Can't lay everything at Darwin's feet.

But they do not get at the real dangers of Darwinism. They do not realize that an explanation of the development of biological organisms over eons of time really does not pose the great threat to the dignity of our humanity that they suppose. Instead, they, along with the rest of us, should really fear the ethical implications of Darwin's original writings.

What "ethical" implications? The theory of how we got where we are says NOTHING about how we treat each other.

In reality, those writings express the prevalent racism of the 19th century ...

Racism practiced by both proponents and opponents of Darwin's theories

...and endorse an extreme laissez-faire political ideology that legitimizes the neglect of the suffering poor by the ruling elite.

It endorses NOTHING political. Darwin was, IIRC, a political Whig, i.e., a liberal. That's not to say he wasn't racist. He almost certainly was, just like pretty much every white person in the 19th century.

But hold on, it's about to get really stupid:

Those who argue at school board meetings that Darwin should be taught in public schools seldom have taken the time to read him. If they knew the full title of On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favored Races in the Struggle for Life, they might have gained some inkling of the racism propagated by this controversial theorist.

Those "races" in the subtitle have nothing to do with the concept of "race" as used for humans. It refers (rather obviously, I might add) to genetic variants that fit their local environment better than others.

Had they actually read Origin, they likely would be shocked to learn that among Darwin's scientifically based proposals was the elimination of "the negro and Australian peoples," which he considered savage races whose continued survival was hindering the progress of civilization.

Okay, I'll 'fess up right here and note that I have not read all of the book. It's a ponderous and dense tome, even by Victorian standards. But knowing that Darwin did not dare suggest similar origins for man until his later book, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that this is utter crap. A number of 19th century scientists (and non-scientists) did try to pervert Darwin's theories in this way, but I have never seen it alleged that Darwin himself proposed elimination of anyone simply because they were of a "lower" race. In fact, Darwin reminded himself in his notebooks to never say "higher" or "lower" because "favored" or "more fit" has only to do with fitness for the local environment.

In his next book, The Descent of Man (1871), Darwin ranked races in terms of what he believed was their nearness and likeness to gorillas. Then he went on to propose the extermination of races he "scientifically" defined as inferior. If this were not done, he claimed, those races, with much higher birthrates than "superior" races, would exhaust the resources needed for the survival of better people, eventually dragging down all civilization.

Darwin even argued that advanced societies should not waste time and money on caring for the mentally ill, or those with birth defects. To him, these unfit members of our species ought not to survive.

Once again, I can't directly answer the specifics. Possibly he did write this though I still doubt that he would have written something quite so silly, given that his theory was so adamantly mechanistic that such human intervention in the natural course of things would be entirely unnecessary.

But that's still not as bad as this descent into a Biological Godwin's Law:

In case you think Darwin sounds like a Nazi, there is a connection.

Jeebus wept.

Darwin's ideas were complicit in the rise of Nazi ideas.

That statement is about as meaningful as claiming that Richard Wagner was complicit in the rise of Nazi ideas.

Pulitzer Prize winner Marilynne Robinson, in her insightful essay on Darwin, points out that the German nationalist and anti-Semitic writer Heinrich von Treitschke and the biologist Ernst Haeckel also drew on Darwin's writings to justify racism, nationalism and harsh policies toward the poor and less privileged.

A lot of non-Germans did the same. And a lot of proponents of German Nationalism, informed by the perverted concept of "Social Darwinism" also opposed the Nazis.

Oh, and you left out Nietzsche, dude.

Although these men's lives much predated Hitler's rise to power, their ideas were very influential as he developed the racist ideas that led to the Holocaust.

Developed racist ideas? As if there were no anti-Semitism in Germany and all the rest of Europe for nearly two thousand years before Hitler.

Konrad Lorenz, a biologist who belonged to the Nazi Office for Race Policy and whose work supported Nazi theories of "racial hygiene," made Darwin's theories the basis for his reasoning.

Because, of course, until Darwin came along nobody ever tried "racial hygiene", and only a committed Darwinian could justify racism.

On the other hand, I seem to recall a group that specifically rejected all Darwinism in its approach to biology. How did that turn out?

I hope our schoolchildren will be taught that it is up to science to study the processes that gave birth to the human race.

Which you just said you didn't want to do.

But, as postmodern as it may be, I also want them to learn that whatever science discovers about our biological origins, there is, nevertheless, a mystical quality in human beings that makes each of us sacred and of infinite worth.

Jeebus. Maybe Huckleberry's been counseling him.

Regardless of how we got here, we should recognize that there is an infinite qualitative difference between the most highly developed ape and each and every human being. Darwin never recognized this disjuncture.

This dolt probably doesn't even realize how this part of his argument contradicts his earlier claims about Darwin's racism. If there is no such qualitative difference, it makes little sense to claim some "races" are closer to apes.

And once again, I'm reminded of another group, one which also claims there is no qualitative difference between people and apes, one for whom "a rat is a pig is a dog is a boy."

And that is why his theories are dangerous.

And Lord knows we must always crush "dangerous" ideas, just like the Nazis did, because we are good, freedom-loving people.

Look, folks, if you want to argue the merits of Darwinian theory, please do. Just don't try to drag Hitler into it, 'k? Because everyone knows he was Wagner's fault

And now, I need to go bleach my brain.

LAST UPDATE: Confirmed that Darwin did not write those things, at least I can't find them in the Gutenberg downloads (possible my searches were not exhaustive, of course). I highlighted (bold italic) three passages above which are confirmed as flat out wrong or lies.

1. "elimination of the negro and Australian peoples" - This is a flat out lie. No such statement appears in Origin.

2. "he went on to propose the extermination of races he 'scientifically' defined as inferior" - Another flat out lie. In Descent, Darwin does make a statement that "At some future period, not very distant as measured by centuries, the civilised races of man will almost certainly exterminate, and replace, the savage races throughout the world", but this is merely an expectation, not a proposal. Check the entire context of the passage, if you doubt me. As for the rest of the highlighted passage, I can find no such statement whatsoever that Darwin made such a claim about birthrates and exhausting resources. Such claims, however, were made later by the progressive eugenicists of the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

3. "advanced societies should not waste time and money on caring for the mentally ill, or those with birth defects" - As stated, this is a flat-out lie. Darwin did state that our concern with weaker members of society might be deleterious on society, in an evolutionary sense, but that "Nor could we check our sympathy, even at the urging of hard reason, without deterioration in the noblest part of our nature ...We must therefore bear the undoubtedly bad effects of the weak surviving and propagating their kind". Entire passage reproduced below, so that there is no question that Darwin ever suggested such a thing as abandoning the weak:

With savages, the weak in body or mind are soon eliminated; and those that survive commonly exhibit a vigorous state of health. We civilised men, on the other hand, do our utmost to check the process of elimination; we build asylums for the imbecile, the maimed, and the sick; we institute poor-laws; and our medical men exert their utmost skill to save the life of every one to the last moment. There is reason to believe that vaccination has preserved thousands, who from a weak constitution would formerly have succumbed to small-pox. Thus the weak members of civilised societies propagate their kind. No one who has attended to the breeding of domestic animals will doubt that this must be highly injurious to the race of man. It is surprising how soon a want of care, or care wrongly directed, leads to the degeneration of a domestic race; but excepting in the case of man himself, hardly any one is so ignorant as to allow his worst animals to breed.

The aid which we feel impelled to give to the helpless is mainly an incidental result of the instinct of sympathy, which was originally acquired as part of the social instincts, but subsequently rendered, in the manner previously indicated, more tender and more widely diffused. Nor could we check our sympathy, even at the urging of hard reason, without deterioration in the noblest part of our nature. The surgeon may harden himself whilst performing an operation, for he knows that he is acting for the good of his patient; but if we were intentionally to neglect the weak and helpless, it could only be for a contingent benefit, with an overwhelming present evil. We must therefore bear the undoubtedly bad effects of the weak surviving and propagating their kind; but there appears to be at least one check in steady action, namely that the weaker and inferior members of society do not marry so freely as the sound; and this check might be indefinitely increased by the weak in body or mind refraining from marriage, though this is more to be hoped for than expected.

Warning

Angry rant at retarded religiousoids coming up when I get time. But for now I got paying work to do.

And if any of the regular religious readers here are wondering if it might be about you, rest assured it's not.

The hell??????

Verbatim from Mark Steyn (via Instapundit):

It's not just Anglican Archbishops who are determined to make the transition painless:

Dutch Catholics have re-branded the Lent fast as the "Christian Ramadan" in an attempt to appeal to young people who are more likely to know about Islam than Christianity.

"Jeez" is right.

No link yet

But I heard on the radio allegations that "peace" activists in Berzerkeley assaulted counter protesters. That comes from the other side, so not yet known if it's accurate. Except that apparently the riot police have been called.

And in other "peace" news, some members of the "religion of piece" are being held in Denmark for plotting to kill a cartoonist.

UPDATE: A little more on cartoons:

Defamation suit thrown out:

Danish court throws out Muslim cartoons lawsuit
By Michael Herman and agencies

A Danish court has thrown out a defamation case against the newspaper that first published controversial cartoons of the prophet Muhammad.

The City Court in Aarhus today rejected a lawsuit brought by seven Danish Muslim groups claiming that the 12 drawings printed in Jyllands-Posten were intended to insult the prophet and make a mockery of Islam.

Whatever. Come back and talk to me when somebody makes "Piss Mohammed" or makes a picture of him with elephant dung.

Another Rock 'n Roll Trivia quiz

Not here, though. The lovely and brilliant CalTechGirl has very kindly made one especially for me.

Unfortunately, (a) I only know four of the numbered questions and two of the bonus questions, and (b) mu.nu is down for the count on comments for a while.

[sigh] Missed a chance to show off my ignorance. I do so much better when I write the questions.

Great news

Here.

Quote of the Day

Scheider Jumps the Shark

Well, I was hoping for Truman

But that haberdasher question killed that.

I got Lincoln too. But I messed up on trying to get the code to put it here.

A renegade amongst renegades

So the Sainted Bride and I went out for breakfast this morning to the local IHOP. The Red-Hat Ladies were there.

One wore a purple hat and a red sweater. A renegade amongst renegades indeed.

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (Herman's Hermits edition)

UPDATE: If I counted correctly, there are six five is one yet unanswered, and they are bolded below.

Hey, mock me if you must but I love these guys. Y'all know how I love Weird-ass Nonsense Lyrics, so it stands to reason that I would love Weird-ass Nonsense Bands. Well, maybe they're not completely Weird-ass, and they are certainly not totally nonsense, but they are a little of both and I love 'em. So does Daughter Number Two, I think. And if I had to bet on the matter, I'd bet that my lovely buddy Julie likes them too.

And for what it's worth, of all the great bands of the British Invasion, they were the only, to my knowledge (with the arguable exception of Gerry and the Pacemakers) who retained their English accents while singing. Yes, the Sainted Beatles and the Sainted (until that vile abomination called "Angie") Rolling Stones pretty much used American accents while singing, but the Pure and Godly Herman's Hermits were confident enough and self-assured enough to sing in their native accents.

Plus, you just gotta love a band named (at least in part) after a cartoon dog's dopey sidekick. Seriously, that's the story as I understand it.

Long story short (too late!) Here's a roughly sesqui-Baker's Dozen of questions about songs of the Sainted Herman's Hermits:

1) She wouldn't have a Willie or a Sam. What am I? [Rightwingprof: I'm 'enery the eighth, I am]

2) Some sage advice: Two girls are too many, three's a crowd, and four you're dead. To whom is this advice offered? [Laura's Daughter: Dandy, when you're old and gray you will remember what she said...]

3) Last night I met a new girl in the neighborhood, and I knew it wouldn't be just a one night stand. What tells me what? [Ricki: Something tells me I'm into something good]

4) The only sound that you will hear is when I whisper in your ear that I love you. What is there? [Julie and Nightfly: There's a kind of hush all over the world]

5) Every time I see you lookin' my way, can't you hear what? [Mr. Bingley: Can't you hear my heartbeat?]

6) Took a walk and passed your house late last night. What was on the shade? [Ricki: Two silhouettes on the shade (I think the other version Ricki and I are thinking of is by the Rays)]

7) This message means the end of my hopes, the end of all my dreams, and the bottle stands forlorn. What is this message? [Kate P: No milk today]

8) I do know that I love you and I know that if you loved me too, then what? [Julie and Nightfly: What a wonderful world this would be (most closely associated, of course, with Sam Cooke)]

9) [NOTE: This my favorite HH song of all time. Anyone who does not get it will have a bo'tle of Foster's lobbed at their 'eads]

Ahem.

9) Maybe you think I look a tramp, or maybe you think I'm round to steal a car. But no, what am I doing? [Extra credit for anyone who stretches it out. Godspeed, my friends] [Mr. Bingley: I'm leaning on the lamp post at the corner of the street in case a certain little lady comes by. Oh me. Oh my. I hope that little lady comes by.]

10) I can give you love, sweet sweet love. Ain't that what? [Laura's Daughter: Ain't that just a little bit better]

11) Better take it from me, it's a complete impossibility. She's nothin' but trouble so cut out on the double before she gets into your heart. What is she? [Mr. Bingley: She's a must to avoid]

12) Everybody's got to love somebody sometime, everybody's got to win a heart. People should do what? [Laura's Daughter: Listen people to what I say]

13) The sun goes on shining, and the sea rushes to the shore. Also, my heart goes on beating and my eyes cry. Well, apparently they're not too bright because they don't know what? [Ricki: It's the end of the world (more closely associated, of course, with Skeeter Davis, IIRC)]

14) Girls as sharp as her are somethin' rare. But it's sad, she doesn't love me now and it ain't no good to pine. To whom am I talking? [Julie and Nightfly: Mrs. Brown, who has a lovely daughter]

15) I'd give you everything and more, and that's for sure. For what? [Dave E: For your love (more closely associated, of course, with the Yardbirds)]

16) We shared my umbrella. Where? [Ricki: At a bus stop (more closely associated, of course, with the Hollies)]

17) Your pretty face came into view and then what could I do? What do I gotta do?

18) It's marked "in" and "out", and no man can call himself complete till he's seen it from both sides. What does the door do? [Laura's Daughter: This door swings both ways, kinda like some people I've known...]

Shit

Thoughts and prayers.

This is how it's done

Our buddy JeffS sent a missive to our socialista friend Da Mayah in Berzerkely, and has graciously given permission to reprint it here:

UPDATE: Sorry, had to shut down comments on this one, the f*cking spammers keep hitting it. Opening it again, with trepidation. Maybe the spambots have moved on to greener pastures.

Dear Mayor Bates:

The Berkeley City Council saw fit to designate the US Marine Corps as "unwelcome uninvited and unwelcome intruders". You live in America, and you have the right of free speech, regardless of what I may think. That is the law.

However, as the converse of personal rights is personal responsibility, you and the Berkeley City Council can be judged by your actions. I don't expect you to be held accountable for your actions (however irresponsible), although that would be but simple justice.

But you certainly need to understand that good people who love this country, and are willing to defend it with their lives, are going to judge you accordingly, voice their opinions (under the same right to free speech that you so shamefully abuse), and try to hold you accountable for your misdeeds.

Specifically, after you and the Berkeley City Council passed that pathetic resolution regarding the Marine recruiting station, you were the target of a huge uproar from people who vehemently disagreed with your position.

In response, you publicly stated that "We apologize for any offense to any families of anyone who may serve in Iraq."

I trust that you will understand if I find this "apology" to be insincere and insufficient.

First, your pathetic resolution was directed at the United States Marine Corps, not the families of those serving in Iraq.

Second, those serving in Iraq include more than the Marine Corps. There's the Army, the Navy, the Coast Guard, the Air Force, the State Department, and civilian employees from many different Federal agencies there.

From this, I conclude that you and the Berkeley City Council intended to insult (and that was your intent, whatever you say otherwise) anyone serving in Iraq, and not just the Marine Corps.

Further, you are really saying that you are sorry if someone's feelings were hurt, not that you are sorry for your actions.

All in all, a very insulting, non-apology. The rest of your statement was just as pathetic.

Congratulations, Mayor Bates: Your public posturing is truly pitiful. Your political opinions, driven by narcissism, are naive and immature. But it was a wonderful photo op, eh?

I'm amazed that the City of Berkeley is able to stay financially solvent with such uncaring, incompetent, self-centered, people in charge. Most likely, your professional employees do the actual work while the elected officials prance about the city for the news cameras.

I applaud Senator DeMint's efforts to cut Berkeley off from the Federal feeding trough. I hope he succeeds, and I will be writing my congressional delegation to that effect. Men and women are dying to keep this country free so that you can publicly disrespect those very same people. You do not deserve a single dime from Federal taxes.

If you honestly believe that you should apologize, do so with actions, not words. Keep those Code Pink cretins from blocking access to the Marine Recruiting station. Allow recruiting to go forth, in spite of your personal opinions. Respect the armed forces that protect you, and in which you served.

Given the past exploits of the residents of Berkeley, I don't expect that this single letter will change your mind. But you do know my mind, don't you?

And you might remember what it was like to be on the sharp end of the stick, back when you were in the military before you pull another stunt like this. Things haven't changed that much.

A new contest (updated)

Oh, I could take the high road and discuss it on its merits but it's Friday, the FFOT is in full swing, and I decided to go the lowbrow route. So drop your suggestions for making fun of the Right Ridiculous Rowan Rilliams in the comments. Here are a few to get you started:

Archbishop of Dingleberry

Archbishop of Can'tBuyaSpine

Archbishop of CandyAss

Oh, and before I forget:

MR. BEAN FOR ARCHBISHOP!

UPDATE: Gott helf mir again. For Kate and Ricki:

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

Oops! Shit. Almost forgot. But for good reasons.

I got nothing, but fire away if you do.

First time

I think this is the first time I've ever linked to Kos. It will probably be the last.

But read this now. And if you are in a position to do so, please follow the advice.

I even, with trepidation, delved briefly into the comments. Surprisingly positive. But I was afraid to read too far down.

Via Insty.

Rowan Rowan Rowan, Keep them dogies dhimmis rowan

Three clowns named Rowan:

Oh wait, that third one is not actually funny. He's just a dickhead.

UPDATE: Gopher cock.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Gott helf mir, Ich cann nicht anders:

Happy Birthday, Birthday Girl!

Get on over there and say Happy Birthday!

Dear Arkansas, Alabama, and West Virginia:

I have spent a large part of my life trying to disabuse people (including the Sainted Bride) of the unwarranted prejudice that all southerners are ignorant, bible-thumping hicks.

Then Huckleberry Godbotherer wins Arkansas, Alabama, and (lord, some of my ancestors came from there) West Virginia.

People, you're not helping my case.

NOTE: I had thought of posting this early this morning, and talked myself out of it. But after reading this and this and this, I decided to go ahead. Check the links and have a chuckle.

If this doesn't make you cry...

... then you are a heartless Philistine.

If it does make you cry, and you happen to be in the area, please go over and whack him upside the head. Bastard made me cry. And I hate being like the Hildebeest.

Okay, that was really cute

While doing my normal pre-bedtime ablutions, I flipped the TV to the History Channel. Not sure exactly what the commercial was for, I think it was for the Irish Tourism Bureau or somesuch. Heard this (roughly):

[X location] was discovered by [name] about 1232.

By 1245, he was ready for lunch.

Okay, it amused me.

Man

I needed a feel-good pick-me-up after the last few posts. So I went here. I suggest you do the same if you are in need of such a pick-me-up.

Rock on. That is all.

California Political Party Statements of Purpose

Taken directly from the California Presidential Primary Election Official Voter Information Guide and distilled into plain language for your convenience.

You're welcome, I'm sure.

Democratic Party:

Hi! We're the Democrats! We've nearly tripled state spending in the last 10 years and there ain't nothin' you can do about it! So we're going to go begging on our knees to some rich Indian tribes to see if they'll cut us in on their money!

Republican Party:

Hi! We're the Republicans! We're the most incompetent and impotent major party in the state! We're the party of Ronald Reagan except for the incompetence and corruption and principles!

Green Party:

Hi! We're the Greens! HALLIBURTON! And Stalin was just misunderst - HALLIBURTON!

Peace and Freedom Party:

Hi! We're the Peace and Freedom Party! We're just like the Greens except we bathe and we don't like trees!

Libertarian Party:

Hi! We're the Libertarians! We're the exact opposite of those communistic Gree - HALLIBURTON! Except that we don't oppose their making a fair profi - HALLIBURTON!!!

American Independent Party:

Hi! We're the party of George Wallace and Pat Buchanan! We have absolutely no money*, no support, and no coherent platform! Vote for us!

*Jest if you want, but I once had a co-worker who registered with them precisely because they didn't have the money to send junk mail and other crap. There is wisdom here, my friends.

Random "Laverne and Shirley" quote strangely applicable to stories ripped from today's headlines

"UNCLEAN!"

Yes, I just voted in the California Primary. I feel dirty.

Don't ask.

Yes, I'm weird

I've been trying to think of what the Obama/Clinton dustup reminds me of.

Oh yeah, here it is:

And no, that's not being political or partisan. I'm no happier with the GOP lineup.

Kudos to Bill Clinton

Yeah, it hurts a little to say that but hell's bells. I missed this last week. Watch the video. Good for him.

And yes, Allah, not all were from Saudi Arabia. Only 15 of 19.

Oh kee-riced

As much as I'm glad to be finally catching up all all the stuff on tape, I really want this f**king writer's strike to end. First, they apparently bring back "American Gladiators".

Then just this evening I just saw a commercial for this.

This was a really bad idea the first time. There is no need to do it again.

Court-martialed for shooting an intruder?

Apparently so. I got this story by email and finally tracked down a link or two. Story below the fold:

Can't verify the veracity for certain, but it sounds like an interesting story.

Retired Green Beret shoots intruder, gets court martial

BREVARD, Jan. 19, 2008 - Retired Army Green Beret James T. (Smokey) Taylor got his court martial this weekend and came away feeling pretty good about it.

Taylor, at age 79, is one of the oldest members of Chapter XXXIII (The Larry Thorne Chapter) of the Special Forces Association. He was placed on trial by fellow Chapter XXXIII members under the charge of "failing to use a weapon of sufficient caliber" in the shooting of an intruder at his home in Knoxville, TN, in November.

The evidence?

When a warning to leave went unheeded, Taylor brought his .22 caliber pistol to bear and shot him right between the eyes.

"I was about four feet away from him when I shot," Taylor said. "Looking back now, I'm glad he didn't die, but that boy had the hardest head I've ever seen. The bullet bounced right off."

Hmm. Sounds guilty as charged.

"Charges were brought against him under the premise that he should have saved the county and taxpayers the expense of a trial," said Chapter XXXIII President Bill Long of Asheville, NC. ... "Proper choice of a larger caliber gun would have spared the citizens this financial burden," Ponds said, "while removing one bad guy from the streets for good. He could have used a .45 or .38. The .22 just wasn't big enough to get the job done."

Apparently not.

In his defense, though,

Hash disagreed. He said Taylor had done the right thing in choosing to arm himself with a .22.

"If he'd used a .45 or something like that the round would have gone right through the perp, the wall, the neighbor's wall and possibly injured some innocent child asleep in its bed. I believe the evidence shows that Smokey Taylor exercised excellent judgment in his choice of weapons. He clearly remains to this day an excellent weapons man."

Hash then floated a theory as to why the bullet bounced off the perp's forehead.

"He was victimized by old ammunition," he said, "just as he was in Korea and again in Vietnam, when his units were issued ammo left over from World War II."

Charges were dismissed, applause given, and (I assume) some beers bought. And the conclusion?

After the trial Taylor said the ammunition was indeed old and added the new information that the perp had soiled his pants as he crawled out the door.

Heh heh heh.

"I would have had an even worse mess to clean up if it had gone through his forehead," Taylor said. "It was good for both of us that it didn't."

Meanwhile, back in Knox County, the word is out: Don't go messing with Smokey Taylor. He just bought a whole bunch of fresh ammo.

I should hope so!

"You will probably want to smack something"

Yeah. Those two little bitches and their "parents".

Backpedaling

It's what he does best, apparently.

And in case you're wondering, we last saw the Honourable Mayor doing this.

They make the rockin' world go 'round

My buddy Julie has shifted digs, and the blogroll has been suitably updated. Keep rockin', girls!

Yeah, me too

Okay, I wasn't to enamored of some of the choices offered for the different questions, but I got the same as Joel.

Problem is, while I never underestimate the effectiveness and necessity of air power, it doesn't decide conflicts. With all due respect to Curtis LeMay and Billy Mitchell, air power alone has never resolved a war or conflict. That's why we had to put ground troops into Bosnia. But for what it's worth, this is what I got on the quiz:

What military aircraft are you? B-52 Stratofortress You're a B-52. You are old and wise, and you absolutely love destruction. You believe in the principle of "peace through deterrence" and aren`t afraid to throw your weight around.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Okay, fine, but conflict is more than just air power. I think it's time the air forces (of the different military branches) accepted that.

Country/Western Trivia (TV Westerns Edition)

UPDATE: The guessed answers added, unguessed questions bolded. And I am mildly surprised at a couple of the unguessed ones, I thought they were almost gimmes, certainly easier than some of those guessed. UPDATE AGAIN: Anon in TX gets a couple of the unguessed ones, so only one to go...

Okay, this is not really in the category of C/W music. But I kind of got a kick out of seeing some of those old TV intros on youtube and it occurred to me that it might be fun to do a TV Westerns edition.

The first problem, of course, is that not only are most TV Western Themes not actual C/W music (a not insurmountable hurdle) but most have no lyrics. That's a bit tougher.

Not to worry, though, I think there are enough themes with lyrics to make a decent quiz. Especially since I've expanded the definition of "TV Western" to be a bit more inclusive than most people would probably define it. Also, I'm going to define "theme" as being perhaps more inclusive than most folks would (i.e., a song closely associated with the show, rather than the "theme"). But, as I always say, "c'est la vie" ("la vie"). Here's a baker's dozen of TV Western Themes (sorta):

1) Who was born on a mountaintop in Tennessee? [Wolfwalker: Davy Crockett - this was, basically, a series of made-for-TV movies for Disney, rather than a series]

2) He was a doer, and a dream-come-a-truer. Who? (And yes, this lyricist should be flogged) [Angie: Daniel Boone]

3) Who is the tall, dark stranger there? [Wolfwalker: Maverick - if you've never seen this first James Garner series, you owe it to yourself to track it down if possible. "Support Your Local Sheriff" and "Rockford Files" all rolled into one]

4) Indian fights are colorful sights for whom? [Angie: For F-Troop]

5) Though the creeks are swollen, what should you do? [Wolfwalker: Keep them dogies rollin', RawHIDE!]

6) He was marked with a coward's shame. What happened to him and why? [Angie: He was Branded as a coward for being the only survivor of a battle]

7) He's a knight without armor in a savage land. What does his card read? [Wolfwalker: "Have Gun, Will Travel, Wire Paladin, San Francisco"]

8) We've got a right to pick a little fight. Why? (Okay, multiple answers will be entertained for this one) [Anon in TX: Because we've got a Bonanza]

9) Back when the west was very young, the was a man who wore a cane and derby hat. Who? [Anon in TX: Bat Masterson]

10) The West, it was lawless, but one man was flawless. What was his name? [Wolfwalker: Wyatt Earp - I learned not long ago that Hugh O'Brien did his own stunts and learned the quick draw for this series, no mean feat with that dopey Buntline special]

11) It's rollin over prairie where there ain't no grass, and rollin over mountain where there ain't no pass. What is it? [Anon in TX: A Wagon Train - Truth be told, I didn't know this one actually had lyrics until I looked it up]

12) Some trails are happy ones, others are blue. Until we meet again, what do I say? [Wolfwalker: "Happy Trails to You" - All due respect to Gabby Hayes, but I grew up watching Pat Brady and his jeep, Nellie Belle]

13) [And yes, this one is majorly cheating] If I'm buck-toothed and skinny, to whom am I writing fan letters? [KG: To Sky's niece Penny - that would be Sky King, another one I watched on Saturday mornings growing up but the lyrics to the theme sucked so I cheated and went the Jimmy Buffett route]

Mei

She'll be heading home soon from the Red Couch.

R.I.P.

Private First Class Ray Jacobs, 1924-2008

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

Whatever's making the week of our beloved Ricki suck so damn much can fuck off.

And "Anonymous" or whoever is responsible for this shit, you are hurting way more than you are helping. You don't have to become your enemy to defeat them. You just have to have the patience to realize it's going to take a little bit of time.