it comes in pints?

Foolish, ignorant children

[UPDATE: Foul language modified just a bit in case anyone comes over from Darren's]

I found my f*** off for the week.

CCcFOAD

In this case, it's not cancer (that's always a given). In this case it's Cesar Chavez can F*** Off And Die.

Oh wait, he already did. Good for him.

My ire is piqued by a TV news story I heard just a few minutes ago. Not sure I got it all correct, but apparently some East Bay schoolchildren were demonstrating today (Small aside: GET YOUR LITTLE ASSES BACK IN SCHOOL, BRATS!) in support of this story. Can't find a link to a story about the "students" cutting class, but they seem to be a little pissy about the idea that not EVERY business and not EVERY government agency and not EVERY other entity in the known universe closes up shop to "honor" this asshole. Stupid, foolish little children.

I'm not posting details right now but I was in that union, against my will but it was a union shop, for five fracking years. If anyone wants details, email me and I'll provide, but for the time being let it be known that the Congressional Hispanic Caucus can go f*** themselves.

Pandering little b*****ds. That's for the Congressional Hispanic Caucus, who are old enough to know better, not for the little foolish schoolchildren who are too young to know when they're being lied to. AND GET YOUR STUPID, FOOLISH *SSES BACK IN SCHOOL!

Country/Western Trivia (Random Trains/Major Copout Edition)

So this weekend has been filled up with yard work and related crap. Ran out of time so I gots not much. On my bike ride, I thought of doing a trains edition but my brain's fried so I can't think of too many except for a few well-known standards, plus some Utah Phillips. The standards, of course, will be mega-easy.

OTOH, the Utah Phillips songs will be unfamiliar to pretty much everybody so the ones I include will have lots of lyrics and major hints, and still no one will get any of them. Be that as it may, here is a small compendium of train songs, with a promise to try to revisit the category in the future and do better (Xenu willing and the creek don't rise).

1) She ain't tall and handsome, but she's quite well known by all. Who is she? [Wolfwalker: The Wabash Cannonball]

2) Well, I'm going down to Florida and will get some sand in my shoes. What am I riding? [Greg: The Orange Blossom Special]

3) What's a mighty good road? [Wolfwalker: The Rock Island Line]

4) This rattler's the fastest in the southern land. What does it do? [Answer: It keeps movin' me on]

5) I'm on the third boxcar on the midnight train. What's my destination? [Wolfwalker: Bangor, Maine]

6) I'm passing graveyards of rusted automobiles. What am I riding? [Wolfwalker: The steel magic carpet called "The City of New Orleans"]

Okay, enough of the mega-easy standards. Here are some Utah Phillips songs. I'm including lots more lyrics than usual, not because I think it will help to answer the questions (they probably won't) but because the lyrics are haunting and lovely. The main point of listing them is to introduce you to them. Look the lyrics up, if you've a mind to. It will be worth your while.

7) I don't know where he came from, his train was a U.P. freight. If there's someone waiting for him down below, he'll be a little bit late. So give him a line in your paper and here's what I want you to say: There's some things worse than dying alone. One of them is what? [Answer: One of them is living that way]

8) I guess his name was Boomer Bill, if that don't do another will. A hobo doesn't need a name 'cause he never gets no mail. The only friend old Boomer had to ride with him through good and bad was a shaggy little mongrel. What was that mongrel called? [Answer: She was called "Queen of the Rails"]

9) Like a bird on the wing, I hear a voice sing as over the prairies I roll. But I'd give my life to spend one more night where? [Answer: I'd give my life to spend one more night in the arms of my old Phoebe Snow]

10) I think about tomorrow and wonder why it is that we give up all the things we love the most. Goodbye, you old hog. I'll have to ride the Dog until they build a subway coast to coast. No round trip ticket, you're on the final run. This [Wabash] Cannonball is never coming back. Tomorrow she'll just be another memory and an echo down a rusty railroad track. Where am I going? [Answer: Heading for Tolono]

Yeah, I'm a bad person

I am, you know.

As noted below, I'm makihg Chicken Tikka Masala for dinner.

Of course, being a filthy, heathen American, I'm not using basmati rice. I'm using regular old brown rice.

And as a final insult, I tossed some frozen peas into the tikka masala sauce as the veggie. So Sous me.

UPDATE: Even with the heathen American insults, turned out pretty damned good.

Wavy Gravy

Anybody remember that nutjob? Only reason I mention him is that Brian tagged me with a food meme, and he used a rhyming title for his post. And since I'm posting about gravy, this was the only rhyme I could think of. I suppose I could have said "Davy" but that would sound stupid, unlike Wavy which not so much stupid as just, er, frickin' weird.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Food meme.

The rules, as I gather, are that the food should, as Brian put it, be "peasant" food (or the American equivalent), that it be delicious, simple, cheap to make, and not too healthy. Well, now, that's just my style. Except for the "delicious" part, because I'm not that much of a cook. I learned a little from my Mom and my Auntie but whenever I try to put into practice what they taught me, the wondrous American ranch/farm style dishes they made, the results are something less than great. But bear with me, I'll still try.

Anyway, when I was little we didn't have much money so the fare was simple and inexpensive. One particular dish my Mom made that I ABSOLUTELY FRICKIN' LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART AND PALATE is an old military favorite. Well, perhaps not a "favorite". But my Mom used to make hamburger gravy served over bread (or biscuits or toast), a civilian equivalent, if you will, of the old "Shit on a shingle". BTW, definitely read the linked article for some modern PC bullshit in what passes for a Navy these days. Pansies.

Where was I? Oh yeah, shit on a shingle. Now granted, it wasn't actually made with dried, chipped beef, but it was absolutely delicious. I loved it whenever Mom made it or any of the other various gravy-involving dishes she made (venison with milk gravy, creamed peas, etc.).

Unfortunately, the Sainted Bride does not like gravy (or thinks she doesn't) so I have rarely had an opportunity to make it as an adult. I did make some once when she was off doing something and the kids enjoyed it (this was actually a variant made with country sausage, but the principle still applies).

Anyway, without further ado, here is a simple, (reasonably) cheap, delicious recipe for shit on a shingle hamburger gravy on toast.

Ingredients:

1 lb. Hamburger (beef only, and no any kind of lowfat crap; I substitute ground chicken or turkey for some stuff but not this) – (although, substituting a pound of sausage is really damned good too).
2 tbsp. flour
Two cups milk (full fat, no lowfat crap), warmed
Salt and pepper to taste
A dash of Worcestershire sauce or Kitchen Bouquet if, like me, you are not much of a cook.

Instructions:

1) Brown the hamburger and crumble it.

2) When the hamburger is browned, add the flour. Cook for a couple of minutes

3) Sprinkle with salt and pepper (extra pepper is always good, but it's to taste)

4) Slowly add the warmed milk, stirring constantly. Adjust the quantity of milk, if you like a different thickness.

5) I can never make gravy as good as Mom or Auntie did, so I often add a dash of Worcestershire sauce or Kitchen Bouquet to my gravy.

6) Serve on sliced bread, toast, biscuits, English muffins, or mashed potatoes (or anything else you want, this shit's GREAT on anything).

And oh, by the by, the basic milk gravy (ignoring the hamburger and just using drippings from other meats) can be made with any kind of pan drippings. Go wild, baby!

I suppose I'm supposed to tag people. I'll tag the Bingster. Perhaps some others later. I'll think about it. But right now I have some Chicken Tikka Masala to make.

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

Sinus problems that make you feel like your head is going to explode at the slightest attempt to bend over can fuck off. Especially when you have chores that specifically require a lot of bending over (get your head out of the gutter, Bingley).

Go for it.

For my putative son (updated)

The anti-Scanditic bigot.

Please learn this lesson, my boy. Scandis are not evil.

Let that be a lesson to you, son.

UPDATE: Quote of the day from Greg:

How can a place so cold have women so HOT?

What are we to make of this, Watson?

Sounds like some people got fooled into thinking that "Blackwater fever" actually has something to do with the security firm Blackwater Worldwide.

Please. All due respect to Messrs. Crittendon, Pundit, and Kessler, (and to the more credulous among us) but y'all seem to have missed the real story. I alone have properly connected the dots, which connect this way:

As we all know, the Doobie Brothers recorded "Black Water" back about 1974. So what, you say? Well, counted among their members at the time was guitarist, and now well-known security consultant Jeff "Skunk" Baxter.

Malaria. "Security consultant". "Black Water" fever*. "Skunk".

Coincidence? I wonder...

*"Fever" - I'm sure if I had some extra time at lunch, I could find a Peggy Lee connection too.

Dear "American Idol" Person

Hi. How are you? We're fine. Thanks for asking. Would you mind if I take a moment, please? Yeah. Good. Have a seat.

What the fuck are you looking for? Don't get me wrong. You're more than welcome to use the search function of this site to look for "American Idol" once every couple of hours a day if you like. It's no skin off of our nose. The thing is, I don't really think Ken or Dave watch that show very often, and if they do, they don't post about it. I've seen it once or twice, but it never caught my interest, so I certainly don't have anything to say about it myself.

Again, I'm not telling you to go away or anything. I'm just trying to save you a little time by letting you know that 1) the search function for this site only searches this site only, not the entire internet, so 2) looking up "American Idol" shall remain, as it has been, utterly fruitless and 3) may I suggest that you check out these fine folks if you're wanting someone to talk with about the show.

Cheers.

Laughing

UPDATE: Well, the consensus among my buddy Julie, the Iron Chef, and my putative son (honest, man, I swear I was drunk, ask Julie) seems to be that the second one should have gone first, so I have embedded it and reordered them:

Daughter Number Two showed me this. I found it amusing.

This one is amusing too, though apparently not as much:

This is pretty funny too.

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (Weird, silly nonsense edition)

UPDATE: Unfortunately, I'll have to shut this one down because of the feckin' spammers. Last answers filled in.

Well, since it's a holiday weekend and nobody's around, here's a special weird, nonsense edition.

Today was the 28th anniversary. Went to Chili's with Daughter Number Two, back from school for the weekend. Ate lots of ribs and steak, and a good time was had by all.

Anyway, I took a bike ride earlier. Took along a CD mix. Backstory: years ago, when I was young and foolish, I allowed the girls to download a music sharing program. It promptly killed the computer with spyware and shit, and the girls were absolutely banned from downloading it again.

But before it killed the computer, we had downloaded some songs I like which I burned onto CD. That's one of the CDs I took along today. Some of them I won't use because I've already used them (e.g., Herman Hermits songs) or will someday use them (e.g., George Thorogood). But I still have a fair number of other songs that I can write questions about. So here we go:

1) A jolly swagman sat beside a billabong. What did he sing? [Laura: Won't you come waltzing Matilda with me]

2) An old Australian stockman said "Tan me hide when I'm dead". So what did we do? [Laura: We tanned his hide when he died, Clyde, and that's it hanging on the shed]

3) There ain't nobody in this whole wide world gonna tell me how to spend my time. What am I? [Greg: I'm just a good-lovin', ramblin' man (say buddy, can you spare me a dime?)]

4) I met all the girls and I loved myself a few. To my surprise, what happened? [Answer: Like everything else that I've been through, it opened up my eyes]

5) I don't want your lonely mansion with a tear in every room. What is all I want? [Lisa: All I want is the love you promised beneath a haloed moon]

6) He asked me to be his bride and always be right by his side. Then what happened? [Joel: I felt so happy I almost cried, and then he kissed me]

7) Gentle is the rain that falls softly on the meadow. Birds high up in the trees do what? [Nightfly: Birds high up in the trees serenade the flowers with their melody]

8) It is the evening of the day. What do I do? [Greg: I sit and watch the children play]

9) He tried his best to settle down. But what happened? [Answer: She's now alone with a broken heart]

"Buy American"

Got this by email this morning. I've seen variations on the theme but this one has been updated based on recent events:

Tax Rebate

One morning President Bush said each one of us would get a $1200.00 tax rebate. It was previously slated to be $1400.00, but they dropped it to a 1200.00 tax rebate because of various budget problems.

Now, if we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China, if we spend it on computers, most of the money will go to Korea or India.*

If we spend it on gasoline it will all go to the Arabs.....and none of these scenarios will help the American economy. We need to keep that money here in America .....so the only way to keep that money here at home is to drink beer, gamble, or spend it on prostitution. Currently it seems that these are the only businesses still left in the U.S.

BUY AMERICAN - ELIOTT SPITZER DID!

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

Didja miss me? 'Cause I missed you and need to get on with things real fuckin' quick.

Here's a fucking idea: how about it if people who don't understand a certain subject, don't know know too many facts about it, and can't really be bothered to take the time to learn about, but nonetheless feel compelled to argue about it, defend it, or otherwise take sides: shut the fuck up. I'm sorry. I'm not one of those "everyone is entitled to their opinion" dittoheads. No, some people are NOT entitled to an opinion. For example, I don't know fuck all about stem cell research. I don't know how it's done, what it entails, or what the ultimate implications of it could mean (and no, I don't want someone to take the time to explain it to me here. I'll learn about it when I feel like it). I know people were arguing about it in the media a while back. I know it's been put to public vote. I know if I were a better citizen I would take the time. Fuck it. I got busy.

My point is, I'm not entitled to an opinion about it. At the very least, the best opinion I could offer is an ignorant one. Those really shouldn't count. And if they don't count, save your breath and stop wasting the time. Oh yeah - and FUCK OFF.

I started to make a "this goes for..." list, but it got too long, too mean, and too rude, even for the FFOT.

Have a great fucking weekend.

For our new young friend (updated)

A hearty welcome to the Newest Denizen of the Coalition.

UPDATE: As Jeff says,

I, for one, welcome our new Wombat Overlords.

Kewl

Tonight's "Mythbusters" was (partly) filmed at the Growney Ranch in Red Bluff. I know these folks!

Well, actually, I don't know them personally, but folks in my family do. BIG name in rodeo stock. Even have a Growney Motors (different sibling Growney) on one of the cars.

Dead Man Walking

Happy Birthday.

Ya little twirp.

Another Bummer

Sad news by way of McGehee.

Rest in peace, man.

Why I love the internet

I mentioned last night that there was one Beatles tune (actually two, I had forgotten about "The Inner Light") that I had seen listed on a discography but had never heard. Nightfly's comment prompted me to do a quick search to confirm "The Inner Light" was the B-side of the "Lady Madonna" single (it was), and I suspect that was the song I heard last night that I didn't recognize.

In any case, I was surprised that "Thingumybob" was not listed in that discography. There's a reason. Turns out that the "Yellow Submarine/Thingumybob" single was not recorded by the Beatles:

Thingumybob by John Foster & Sons Ltd. Black Dyke Mills Band, a brass marching band, was the second ever single on the Apple label in 1968. Thingumybob was a TV series theme song written by Paul, and the marching band did this very Pepperlandish rendition of Yellow Submarine for the flip side.

This 45 is very rare, and one early Apple catalogue incorrectly listed this Thingumybob/Yellow Submarine single as being by the Beatles.

Meanwhile, here's "Thingumybob" by the John Foster & Sons Ltd. Black Dyke Mills Band.

Bummer

Aw man. He was my favorite character on the show.

"As an actor, you had to be careful," Poitier said in a statement. "He was quite likely to walk off with the scene."

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

So after that last post, and after surfing blogs after my bedtime for longer than I should, I head back to crash. Turn on the TV for background noise during the evening ablutions.

History Channel has a show about candy. Saw a few seconds a little while ago, something about Abba Zabbas and modern packaging. Okay. Now, I walk back in to see something very different. And weird. These particular candies just before the end of the show contain, apparently, real worms and scorpions. For the "fear" crowd or some such.

WTF?

Oddly, another American Idol post

(Sort of - for a show I don't actually watch, I seem to post a fair abount about it)

And then there were two. No, not contestants. Beatles songs I've never heard.

First comment on tonight's AI: Not right. I think they did Beatles last week too, and that's just not fair to the contestants. As the Sainted Bride said sometime last season when one show's theme was Queen: "Listening to them makes you remember just how good Freddy Mercury was."

Same tonight. You just know that no matter how good anyone might be on their own terms, they will probably be compared unfavorably to the Beatles. And two weeks in a row? Not right.

Anyway. My lovely buddy Julie remembers, I'm sure, that I am a hardcore Beatles fan. I own several of their original albums (both American and British), though not enough to constitute a complete collection. I have one of those recent "outtake"-type releases (not great, but kind of interesting). I even have one album of bootleg recordings from before they got the first EMI contract (back in the Hamburg days).

Still, even beyond the ones I own, I've heard (or so I thought) everything they ever recorded from the time of their first album release (including both commercially released versions of "Yellow Submarine") with exactly one exception. On a compilation album released in the early 70s, there is a complete (to that time) discography. The back of the single of "Yellow Submarine" is a song called "Thingumybob", which was never so far as I know released on any other disc. This reference to it is the only one I've seen (granted, I haven't really searched since I got internet access). And for over thirty years, I've thought that was the only one of their commercially-released songs I'd never heard (and I HAVE heard others that were only b-sides of 45s).

Until tonight. I caught just a short bit of the intro to AI tonight, where they were talking about the Beatles. One clip they played was obviously from the George Harrison-gets-into-his-psycho-weirdass-guru-Indian phase (no complaints, I like that stuff too) but I really don't recall ever hearing that one. No idea what it was.

So if anyone has any ideas about what it might have been, let me know. I really doubt it was "Thingumybob" but I suppose I could be wrong.

Anyway, I'm off to bed. 'Night all.

Don't lay your guilt trip bullshit on me

I so wanted to like Obama. Disagree with his political views, but like the guy. Could happened.

But now, not so much.

Possible bad language ahead.

Give me a fuckin' break.

So his "pastor" remembers Jim Crow laws. Whatever. My family didn't pass those laws. My family didn't own slaves. When all those while devil slavemasters were subjugatin' the black man, mine were farmers. Or coal miners. Or still in Ireland and Scotland.

More recent times? During Jim Crow, my grandpa had black friends. Twenty years before MLK, Jr. became famous. Not long after the "I have a dream" speech, my parents put me in a car WITH A BLACK MAN to travel 600 miles WITH A BLACK MAN to visit family who, by the way, were friends WITH A BLACK MAN. Me, a little kid, traveling 600 miles WITH A BLACK MAN.

Now, I will grant you that this wasn't in the Old South. But Herr Obama does seem to like to tar (baby) all white folk with the guilt of the Old South, whether they were there or not. Or whether their families owned slaves. Or whether their ancestors may have died freeing the slaves. While many of his ancestors were not even here yet.

And Jeremiah Wright? Go fuck yourself. Just continue getting rich like that self-made millionaire black man, Reverend Ike.

Continuing our brief digression

Continuing our brief digression into mathematics and related subjects, I think I posted this before but I can't find it in the archives. So as if starting over from scratch, here is the greatest mathematical formula of all time:

e^iπ + 1 = 0

I hereby declare...

Okay, since Pi Day is such a big hit, I think it only fair to honor that other major fundamental mathematical constant.

And since Pi shares its day with another major holiday, I think it only appropriate the other major constant do likewise.

And so, with these fundamental truths in mind, I hereby declare:

That February the 71st (2/71) shall henceforthe be knowne as "e Day".

Be itte furthere Declared that the same day shalle also be knowne as "Barbecued Ribs and Threesome Day".

Which is, of course, about as likely as the next February the 71st ...

Tell Laura I love her

Again. Laura, my sweet darling, I love you and I want you to have my children. Because they're, like, in college and racking up bills ;)

Seriously, I love you my darling, for turning me onto the Spotnicks. These guys are still playing after nearly fifty years, and they frickin' ROCK. Check it out. Or just go here and browse.

But most especially, check out this one:

Laura, my sweet darling, you ROCK!

Quote of the day

From Greg Newson:

Never met a man I didn't like, except Wiley Post

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (Tapestry edition)

Thought I would put this up earlier than usual. I started composing questions last week while on the bike ride, so I'm a week ahead of the game!

I was thinking of doing a Carole King edition but, given what a fine album this is, I decided to focus on it exclusively. It's really a great album. Also, it's the only one I have on CD and it's a lot easier to listen to CDs on a bike than listen to LPs on a bike.

That's it, no more yapping. I want to get these questions up early so here is the Lovely and Sainted Carole King:

1) I can't stand it when you look at me that way. What do I feel? [Laura: I fell the earth move under my feet]

2) It's one more song about moving along the highway, because I can't do what? [Mr. Bingley: Can't say much of anything that's new]

3) Something inside has died. Why? [Lisa: Because it's too late]

4) Snow and rain chill my soul to the marrow. When will I be happy? [Julie: I won't be happy til I see you alone again, 'til I'm home again and feelin' right]

5) If you get up every morning with a smile on your face, what will you find? [Julie: That you're beautiful as you feel]

6) There's a place I know where I can find shelter from hunger and cold. Where am I bound? [Julie: Way over yonder, that's where I'm bound]

7) Close your eyes and think of me. What will happen? [Lisa: Soon I will be there to brighten up even your darkest night]

8) I would go to the ends of the earth. Why? [Julie: Because to me that's what you're worth]

9) Tonight, the light of love is in you eyes. But what is my question? [Lisa: Will you still love me tomorrow?]

10) He let it all hang loose because he couldn't take no more abuse. So what did he do? [Julie: He bought a shotgun and shot down the congregation]

11) Amidst the soft, silver sadness in the sky, who came and what did he wear? [Julie: There came a man of fortune, a drifter passing by; he wore a torn and tattered cloth and a coat of many colors]

12) Your love was the key to my piece of mind. Why? [Maggie May: Because you make me feel like a natural woman]

Sooo....

UPDATE: Unrelated, but if anyone's interested, I filled in the last answers on the last quiz. ANOTHER UPDATE: Related this time. Answered below the picture.

In honor of Pi Day (which shares its day with my very favorite day of all), I'm going to post this picture here too, and ask if anyone can identify it.

No one has gotten it so far. And I guaran-damn-tee you will kick yourselves (after you kick me a few times). Give it a shot:

It's "Pi, Ollie-mowed".

Righteous

Welcome back everyone! And Laura, thanks so much for dropping that link. That is too cool.

We're Back

Thanks for everyone for being so patient while I settled my, errrr....creative differences with our hosts. And for our friends the Swillers for giving us a home while it was happening.

Normal stupidity, pointlessness, trivia, fucking off, and other useless observations from Pints dwellers to resume as of now. Or at least after I go out and get drunk.

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (Songs that make me cry edition)

Shut up. Just fucking shut UP. Joel nailed yesterday's quiz so quickly that I thought I should have a little bit more for this weekend. And I'm a sap. But I don't want you to mock me.

Fair warning, people. Anyone who mocks me for this will, come Friday and the FFOT, be treated to a FO that will make Val blush. Might even grow hair on his palms. You have been warned.

And this despite the fact that I should be mocked for at least one of the songs on this list. Hell, it embarrasses even me to include it. But I must include it because I must. Because to not include it would be hypocritical in that it actually does make me cry. Even though I hate it. Because it makes me cry. For which this singer should DIE WITH FESTERING BOILS.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Next week, or sometime in the distant future when I remember to do it, I will also do a "songs that make me smile" or something like that. You know, Yin/Yang, Frick/Frack, and all that. But for now, it's songs that make me cry. And this will be short because I just thought of it and I have dinner to make. Possibly another time I will expand on the theme.

Oh, and before I forget: Julie, my buddy and lovely friend, you are disqualified from answering the last question. At least, until everyone else gets a shot at it.

1) Painted wings and giants' rings do what? [Wolfwalker: They make way for other toys]

2) She was young at heart, kind of dumb and kind of smart. Who? (DIE WITH FESTERING BOILS MOTHERFUCKER!) [Lisa: Honey]

3) While birds sing in a sycamore tree, what should you do? [Ricki: Dream a little dream of me; yeah, I love this one too, Ricki]

4) Mickey Mouse says it's thirteen o'clock. That's quite a shock. What am I doing? [Answer: I'm watching Scotty grow]

5) The ark started moving a drifting with the tide. Who cried while looking up the from the rocks? [Wolfwalker: The unicorns]

6) The old man walks up to the hilltop and does what? [Answer: He gives her a daisy a day]

Oh, and I if I forgot to mention it before, if you mock me, F**K YOU. Bingley, I'm look at you. Because I know these make you cry too.

Country/Western Trivia (Random Drinking Lyrics Edition)

UPDATE: since this has moved off the front page, I'm adding in the last answer.

I really haven't much this weekend. Too much to do, too little time. Managed to get in a short bike ride but I took the new Mamas and Papas CD on it.

SOOOOOO... for lack of anything better, here's a bunch of country songs about drinking. Some are retreads. Can't help it - just can't think of much else. Also, despite the many thousands of C/W drinking songs, I only have a small sample. Gotta save some for another time.

In no particular order:

1) G-men, T-men, and revenooers, too. What were they looking for? [Joel: For the place where my Pappy made his brew]

2) About a half mile from me there's an old hollow tree where you lay down a dollar or two. What do you come back with? [Joel: A jug of that good old Mountain Dew]

3) I'm hurting in an old familiar way. Why? [Joel: Because tonight the bottle let me down]

4) Tomorrow might be painful but tonight we're gonna fly. With whom? [Joel: With Jose Cuervo]

5) I've got time for just one more round. So do what again? [Joel: Pop a top again]

6) Here’s a toast to my misery, in any of three different ways. What are those three ways? [Dr. Weevil: On tap, in the can, or in the bottle]

7) Take my mind, don't let her memory torture me, and please don't run dry. To what am I talking? [Joel: Whiskey River]

8) Baby left me without warning sometime in the night. What kind of morning is it? [Joel: It's a Bloody Mary morning]

9) Give me champagne, I won't complain if that's the best you can do. But when I go first class, do what? [Answer: When I go first class, fill my glass with Oklahoma home brew]