it comes in pints?

Go figure

Well. Nice to know the California Democrats are keeping the state safe for voter fraud:

The Assembly Committee on Elections and Redistricting killed a proposal in January by Assemblyman Bob Huff, R-Diamond Bar, requiring California voters to show one of six forms of ID at a polling place. Under Assembly Bill 9, a voter without identification could use a provisional ballot but would be required to show a valid ID card to the county registrar within five days. The bill failed on a party-line vote and is dead for the year.

Opponents included the American Civil Liberties Union, as well as public employee unions such as the California Teachers Association.

The usual gang of idiots.

Critics said the bill raised constitutional problems similar to those in the Supreme Court case and expressed concerns that an ID requirement would impose new costs on some voters and deter others by creating long waits at polling places.

Then the critics are a ass. Photo ID costs nothing, so if you're too frickin' lazy to go get one, you have no right to vote.

SacBee story via McGehee, and more here from Prof. Bainbridge.

Forget Marketing

HR is the devil.

For my putative son

And a contest. Or what passes for a contest here. Oh, and a moral: be careful who you wish to have for a father.

Oh yeah, contest. 1000 MBP points to anyone who can identify the singer, er, author, er, utterer of the following passage (as best I can recall the exact phrasing):

This fella sittin' next to me is named Martin Grosswendt. You heard him the last time we were up here. He's a great musician. From Massachussetts. Become a rumor in his own time, Martin Grosswendt has.

Music runs in his family. When he was three years old his mother bought him a drum and told him to beat it.

Martin Grosswendt wanted to learn to play the fiddle. He wanted to play the violin and be a concert violinist and take lessons on it every day but his mother said no. Didn't want the neighbors to know they were Jewish.

Besides, she said, you go down and play in low bars and dives and saloons on your git-tar and on your dobro and on your five-string banjo, you can bring home some extra money. Besides which, you get to know your father a little bit better.

For anyone who wants to cheat, reference (but it requires a download to listen, first track listed)

Jazzed (updated)

Pumped. Stoked. Way happy. Pick your adjective.

Today was my first day on my new schedule. It worked out well. Not that I had any actual time off, I've been working on lots of stuff, but it's good because it's stuff I wouldn't have had time for otherwise.

Also, I'm feeling good about what was accomplished today.

I fixed the heater/AC blower motor on my car. This would have been $250 (plus tax) for a new one, and with the hot weather coming on, I will REALLY need the AC. And BTW, this is no small thing because I am like a total dweeb with hand and/or power tools. Yeah, I can (more or less) fix anything I need to fix, but horribly inefficiently and not well, and the final product looks like crap. But this seems to have worked.

And because I saved that much money, I went down to the stereo store and bought a new (relatively cheap, the car is seven years old) radio/CD player. Originally, I had hoped that the issue with the old one was just a slipped disc (insert joke here). But when I pulled it out of the dashboard there was a small puff of smoke that I'm reasonably certain shouldn't have been there. And after that it would not play at all. It's conceivable, I suppose, that I did something really bad to cause that smoke but, realistically, I think it would have occurred anyway and it's probably just as well that I got that player out of the dashboard before something really bad happened. Like a car fire on the freeway.

Anyhow, I'm taking a short break between hooking up the factory connections with the aftermarket connections of the new player. This is no small task, given the number of connections and my hideously poor (and aging) eyesight. I'll let you know how it turns out, assuming I don't incinerate myself in the process.

UPDATE: Good news and bad news. Good news is that the electrical connections seem to be good. Bad news is that the new stereo is just about 1/8th inch shy of fitting the slot. But I will perservere.

Country/Western Trivia (Random Singlets Edition)

UPDATE: Hmm. Looks like the rest aren't going to get answered so the answers are filed in. Oddly, my good buddy Julie didn't get the rest of the answers from the same song she got two from. All of the odd ones except the last are from the same song.

I know I've leaned heavily on Rock 'n Roll for a few weeks, so I thought I'd flip back over to my country side. A couple of days ago, a song from the far distant past popped into my head, a song which is just a sort of one-hit-wonder type so far as I know. And I thought, "Hey, that would make a kinda cool trivia category, singlets from a way long time ago."

And then I couldn't think of any others.

[sigh]

See, when I think of, say, a particular artist/band/group/whatever, I can at least search on it to find other songs I know but I can't think of off the top of my head. Kind of hard to search on "random singlet songs from my childhood" and get any meaningful results.

So I had to cheat by searching through my half-vast CD collection for songs that I remember from many years ago which might qualify for a singlets edition. Found some, but because I cheated this will be a cheating edition. Don't like that? Um, well, you know, tough noogies and all that. I'm old and my synapses are old and, um, I forgot where I was.

Oh yeah. Random singlets. Best I can do, kids. Sorry 'bout that. And some of you will no doubt notice that I've used a few of these before. Also, you may notice that some may not fall quite into the category of "country" or "western". And I may use multiple questions from the same song. Again, deal with it. I'm old and I can do what I want.

1) I've laid around and played around this town too long. What do feel like I need to do? [Julie: I feel like I've gotta travel on]

2) I wake up in the morning and I wonder why everything's the same as it was. What can't I understand? [Laura's Daughter: I can't understand why life goes on the way it does]

3) Summer's almost gone and winter's comin' on. What do I feel like I need to do? [Julie: I feel like I've gotta travel on]

4) If you play around, you lose your wife. What happens if you play too long? [Julie: You play too long you lose your life]

5) Papa writes to Johnny, but Johnny can't come home. Why not? [Answer: Bacause he's been on the chain gang too long]

6) Honey, if you won't let me be this, then I won't be your man at all. Be what? [Angie: Let me be your salty dog]

7) I want to see my honey. I want to see her bad. Why? [Answer: Because she's the best gal this poor boy ever had]

8) Until that mail train comes back, what will I do? [Answer: I'm gonna lay around the shack until the mail train comes back and then I'll roll in my sweet baby's arms]

9) Sheriff and police are riding after me. What do I need to do? [Answer: I gotta travel on]

10) I'll pay him back someday if he'll just give me a little swallow. Who is he, and what is he doing? [Answer: He's Dooley, and he's slipping up the holler, tryin' to make a dollar]

11) The pitty-pitty-patter of little bitty feet is going to do what? (And yes, I think this one is REALLY obscure so mega, nay, TERAkudos to anyone who gets it) [Answer: They're gonna pitty-pitty-patter through our house. Yes, it's an irritating little earworm but ever once in a while it floats back into my head and drives me frickin' batshit]

A video

So I think that I finally, by cheating (explained later), managed to come up with a reasonably good trivia post. Still putting it together. Meantime, on my weekly Sunday bike ride, an old TV sketch popped into my head for no really good reason. So when I got home, I had to look it up. There were multiple episodes of it on the show but this is the only one I found posted on youtube.

From one of the best sketch comedy shows of all time:

The Dirty Dozens:

And please do click through for some of the Homey the Clown sketches posted.

No trivia post yet

And not yet sure if there will be one this weekend. I had a great idea but I'm not yet sure I can come up with enough songs for the category. Sigh. I will persevere, of course.

But in other breaking news...

I'm kinda pumped. I told you already that I've done the telecommute thing a little to save on ga$oline. Well, my immediate supervisor (whom I CHOSE - it's rather gratifying to be in a point in your career where you get to choose your own boss), bless her heart, and her immediate supervisor, bless his heart, have agreed that it's okay for me to just work four days a week (longer days, of course) and take Mondays off.

Which is great for next week, starting two days from today. Slightly less so the week after seeing as how I have Jury Duty on Cinco de Mayo. Yeah, not a big deal, it would have been a regular week otherwise.

But I am indebted to my immediate spvr (bless her little pea-pickin' heart) and her immediate spvr (bless his little pea-pickin' heart) for allowing me to work only four 12-hour days (roughly) than five 12-hour days (roughly). Bless their little pea-pickin' hearts. Because in the biotech industry, the attitude is too often along the lines of "why would I let you work four 10-hour days when I could make you seven 12-hour days if I want?" (No joke, but I have some anecdotes along these lines, one involving the sentence "That's what nights and weekends are for")

ANYhoo, in lieu of a trivia post or anything else actually interesting, here is a vid of my favorite C/W song of all time. All due respect to THE GODDESS PATSY CLINE [genuflect] this is my single favorite song of all time. Unfortunately, this is not the Hankster's best rendition of the song. His best rendition is on a CD I inherited from my lovely and sainted Mom. While she was still alive, I taped this song off that CD, and listened to that tape yesterday and today.

The reason I listened to that tape is that the CD player in my car decided to choke on the CDs I had fed it. Which, of course, means I will be trying to retrieve said CDs and returning them to the library before the fines start accruing. Good thing I finished the CD version of this before the player decided to choke on the next book.

ANYHOW (too late!) here is my favorite C/W song of all time (and as I said, not his best rendition, but there you have it). There are other covers, of course, not least of which was one by a local Santa Cruz band that played College Night once. A band by the name of "Johnny [something - cut me some slack, been Thirtysomething years] and All Those Golden State Gamblers" - yeah, after 30 years, it's hard to remememememember, though my good buddy Julie might rememememember it.

Anyway, in any case, the great Hank Snow can't be beat:

UPDATE: Two things: (1) Remind me if I forget to post the lyrics. Unlike the sad copies of the idea done in later years, it's really a well written song on many levels, and (2) it's really a shame that in this video he's backed up by an all male band, because on the tape I have it's really cool when the imagination ponders the female backup singers when they sing "I know someplace you haven't been!"

Or, maybe that's just me. And the Bingster. And possibly JeffS.

Random "Taxi" quote strangely applicable to stories ripped from today's headlines

Well, not really applicable to today's headlines, but strangely applicable to Emily's post below. More accurately, applicable to my comment on Emily's post. Sort of. But I find it amusing, and it's as best as I can recall the actual quotes and characters:

[Emily adds: sorry, Ken. I had to close the comments on this post. The spammers apparently have a fetish for dropping their links in it.]

Jim: ...so I changed my name to become part of the counterculture.

Tony: Yeah, but why Ignatowski?

Jim: Ha! Say it backwards!

Tony: "Ick - swo - tang - gi"

Jim [frowning]: Wow. That's not even close to "Starchild".

Chippy's Latest

Chippy McGuinness has written up her latest column. It's a compilation of her top ten moments in hockey history.

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

What a fucking week. I don't even want to talk about it, but that doesn't mean you don't. Go for it.

Headline of the day

From the Sackatomatoes Bee (registration required):

Teens' texting symbols invade schoolwork :-(

Very cute.

Of course, if I were a teacher, especially in an English class, the use of emoticons in a paper would get an automatic F.

Voluntarily?

Well now. I suppose we all remember a few weeks back when Harry Reid told us the income tax is "voluntary".

Well.

I guess that means that Wesley Snipes is going to prison voluntarily? Just like Al Capone did?

Crap.

Is it Friday yet? Hell, I make the rules. Can I start the FFOT early this week?

Crap.

An American Idol Post

They're doing Andrew Lloyd Weber this week. I'm not really paying attention but something just occurred to me:

"Jesus Christ Superstar" debuted almost 40 years ago.

Wow. That's an eye-opener.

A Righteous, yet silly, Fisking (updated)

In which I do something probably really silly and useless.

Backstory: Gas prices are getting really sucky, especially since I drive more than 100 miles a day on my commute. So today, as I will (hopefully) at least once a week in the future, I am telecommuting. This good for me (for obvious$ rea$on$) and for the company as well, because I can get a whole lot of stuff done: building spreadsheets and revising SOPs and more, without being continually interrupted). Seriously, I can complete in four hours what might take me more than a couple of days were I onsite. Which means I have completed (in a way) more than three or four days of work already today.

One other advantage: I can listen to records (for you kids in the audience, that's pronounced "WRECK - erds") while I'm working. Remind me, if I forget, to do a really offbeat Loggins and Messina R&RT edition this weekend. Or maybe Royal Guardsman (Who?).

Just kidding on that last one. Maybe. But even if you're not enamored of the song in question, please do click through and watch the video – tres amusing, especially the goosestepping.

Oh, and one further advantage: I can drink beer while working. Nah, just kidding. May(hic)be.

ANYway, something popped into my poor, enfeebled brain while wading through spreadsheets today and, for some odd reason, listening to this entire album on vinyl ("VINE-ul;"). It's a pop song from, I guess, about 40 years ago. One that, on a pop music level, is okay, I guess. On a content level, not so much. But since I've already accomplished today what I would normally would have accomplished in several days, I feel just frickin' fine about taking a few minutes before going back to interminable spreadsheets, et al., to fisk a dopey pop song for no good reason than the fact that its lyrics are still stupid after all these years.

Ten lo-cal MBP points to anyone who can identify the band that sang this goofy tribute to hippie faux-socialism.

And the sign said long haired freaky people need not apply

Well, I suspect that most places that have such signs in the window are looking to fill positions that actually interact with the public, and the employers want presentable people to fill those positions.

So I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why

Hmm. So you misrepresented yourself. Not cool, man.

He said you look like a fine upstanding young man, I think you'll do So I took off my hat I said imagine that, huh, me working for you

Wow. You misrepresented yourself (i.e., LIED) to get the employer to offer you a job, which you thereupon turn down. Hope you're proud of yourself, unemployed hippie dude.

Sign Sign everywhere a sign Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign

Yeah, well depending on the particular sign and context, I might agree, being a libertarian sort. But I suspect not:

And the sign said anybody caught trespassing would be shot on sight

And rightfully so.

So I jumped on the fence and yelled at the house, Hey! what gives you the right To put up a fence to keep me out or to keep mother nature in

Well, how about the fact that my family PAID for the property, then PAID property taxes one it, and PAID that filthy fucking ESTATE TAX (multiple times) to keep it, and just by the way, PAY and WORK and get injured to keep it in that good, natural condition you apparently think you fucking OWN.

If God was here, he'd tell you to your face, man you're some kinda sinner

Yeah, well I suspect God takes into account who actually works and who is a lazy, slacker, hippie sack o' shit who thinks the world owes him a living.

UPDATE: Oh, and by the way, GET OFF MY DAMN FENCE!

Now, hey you Mister! can't you read, you got to have a shirt and tie to get a seat

Yeah, well seeing as how public hygiene laws and regulation kind of require shirts and shoes (and individual restaurants can set their own dress codes, since they are private businesses)

You can't even watch, no you can't eat, you ain't suppose to be here

You are, apparently, an ill-kempt, unhygienic, stinky hippie. And yet, you don't understand why no one wants you around.

Sign said you got to have a membership card to get inside Uh!

And you seem to have this issue with private property. I really hate to break it to you, but yes, private clubs actually do have the right to exclude you if you don't have a membership. Dude, it's really not that tough to understand if you drop the bong for a couple of hours.

And the sign said everybody welcome, come in, kneel down and pray
But when they passed around the plate at the end of it all,
I didn't have a penny to pay, so I got me a pen and a paper and I made up my own little sign
I said thank you Lord for thinking about me, I'm alive and doing fine

And no doubt the Lord is a forgiving sort who understands, though I suspect even He would kind of like to you get off your butt and get a job instead of being a slacker who thinks the world owes him a living.

Speaking of Barbecues

Congratulations, Montreal! You keep showing that inner Frenchie we know you all cling to!

Erf Day

Time to fire up the barbecue!

And maybe have a bonfire!

Country/Western Trivia (Apropos of nothing edition)

UPDATE: Joel nailed all the questions. Way to go, bro. Greg, I checked out "Our Town" - very nice, thanks for turning me on to it. And for you other folks not familiar with Lacy J. Dalton and "16th Avenue", please do click on the link provided and the lyrics I have put at the end of the post. It's a lovely song.

So the Sainted Glady Knight quiz has been pretty well answered (7 of 10 in less than 24 hours, I'm proud of you kids!) and I am tired and shagged out following a whole lot of work. And for no good reason, while updating the answered questions in the Sainted Gladys Knight quiz, this particular song popped into my head. It's by a Santa Cruz local girl from way back, though she was known in SC and environs by her original name of Jill Croston before she chose a more "commercial" name and hit it big(ger) in Nashville.

In any case, not being a hardcore follower of contemporary C/W music, this is one of the few songs of hers I know well, but it's a beauty and very moving. So here are a few random questions, all from the same song:

1) With years of living tucked underneath their arms, they walk away from everything to do what?

2) They drive to town (with all they own) in what? And why?

3) Some were born to money, but others had to do what?

4) There's cowboys and drunks and Christians. Mostly what colors?

5) After years of being nothing, they're looking right at you. And for a while they'll do what?

6) And finally, God Bless the boys who do what?

For anyone who doesn't know the song (and you are on your honor not to click through before answering the questions above, here's a reference)

UPDATE: Here are the lyrics, stolen of course from another website:

From the corners of the country, from the cities and the farms
With years and years of living tucked up underneath their arms
They walked away from everything just to see a dream come true
So God bless the boys who make the noise on 16th Avenue

With a million dollar spirit and an old flattop guitar
They drive to town with all they own in a hundred dollar car
'Cause one time someone told them about a friend of a friend they knew
Who owns, you know, a studio on 16th Avenue

Now some were born to money, they've never had to say "survive"
And others swing a nine-pound hammer just to stay alive
There's cowboys, drunks, and Christians, mostly white and black and blue
They've all dialed the phone collect to home from 16th Avenue

Ah, but then one night in some empty room where no curtains ever hung
Like a miracle some golden words rolled off of someone's tongue
And after years of being nothing they're all looking right at you
And then for a while they'll go in style on 16th Avenue

It looked so uneventful, so quiet and discreet
But a lot of lives where changed down on that little one way street
'Cause they walked away from everything just to see a deam come true
So God bless the boys who make the noise on 16th Avenue

From the corners of the country, from the cities and the farms
With years and years of living tucked up underneath their arms
They walked away from everything just to sing to me and you
So God bless the boys who make the noise on 16th Avenue

Meet Chippy McGuinness

I did it. I've gone and cheated on Pints. Not with another blog, but my white trash alter-ego has joined the staff at kensocrates.com as a sports columnist. You can see her MySpace profile here, or read her debut column over here.

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (The Sainted Gladys Knight edition)

[Note: Putting it up just a wee bit earlier than usual because (a) I had most of the questions written before last weekend's edition, and (b) I suspect tomorrow be gwine teh suck and I may not get a chance to post it]

Oh, my Darling, Sainted Gladys. I love you to Pips. You turn my innards to jelly when you croon those beautiful songs, and I apologize for taking so long to dedicate an edition especially to you.

Last year, as I'm sure you remember, I commented on the virtues of the Sainted Gladys. I think the Lovely Kate said it best:

It takes somebody with real stage presence like Gladys Knight to overcome the cheese factor that tends to creep into productions on this show. And I like how she avoided appearing trussed up like a turkey all apologetic for aging (unlike some other performers her age).

Quite so. Click through to once again relive the increduosity of her performance on that evening.

And for any of you kids who may not know of her greatness (and if this applies to you, please do consider whacking yourself upside the head with a stack of Motown albums), just ahead of the questions is a picture of this gorgeous lady. Be still my heart:

Oh, my dear Sainted Gladys, if I weren't already spoken for, I'd, um, still be pining because you are, like, so totally out of my league.

1) He pawned all his hopes and even sold his old car. To do what? [Julie and Laura's Daughter: To buy a one-way ticket back to the life he once knew (and he'll be travelling on Midnight Train to Georgia]

2) There can be no way this can have a happy ending. So we just go on convincing ourselves to give it just one more try. Why? [Julie: Because neither one of us wants to be the first to say goodbye]

3) You could've told me yourself that you love some body else. But how did I find out? [Julie: I heard it through the grapevine]

4) In my life story, you'd be there through each line of pain and glory. Why? [Julie: Because you're the best thing that ever happened to me]

5) You're like a diamond and she treats you like glass, yet you beg her to love you but me you don't ask. But things could be different if what? [Lisa: I I were your woman and you were my man]

6) Put me on a train in the pouring rain and say farewell, but don't say goodbye. Something tears me apart. What?

7) Our worlds have come to an end, but what do I feel?

8) I don't even know how to love you just the way you want me to. But... what?

9) Yesterday is dead and gone, and tomorrow's out of sight, and it's sad to be alone. So what should you do? [Julie: Help me make it through the night]

10) There's a saying that says that love is blind. Still we're often told, "seek and ye shall find". What am I looking for? [Ricki and Lisa: The man I have in mind or a certain lad I have in mind - I was actually going for Someone to Watch Over Me, but these are both good answers depending on the exact version and verse]

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

Crap. I'm losing track of days. I forgot it was Friday. Fuck off away. I might think of something later, but everything's good right now.

Ho.

Ly.

Shit.

Grow some 'nads, kids.

Ho.

Ly.

Shit II.

Just go away and die, goober.

Oy, what a struggle

So between doctor visits and tests yesterday and today, I finally managed to reformat the hard drive and reinstall the OS and all or most of the programs. The only glitch is that when I backed up the email, apparently I did not correctly back up the contacts and other folders. [sigh] Have to rebuild them.

Aside from that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?

For Mr. Bingley

Because I know he's interested, even if he's not quite alright.

Hamster poking found here.

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (George Thorogood edition)

UPDATE: All answered, and nicely done!

I don't think I've dedicated one to the Acerbic Atlas of Alcohol yet. I know I've used one or two songs in random other editions.

I had been contemplating another personality for this week, but I worked this morning. Accomplished a lot too, not getting interrupted and dragged into meetings.

Also, I am going to have to reformat the computer and reinstall everything because of fucking malware. Apparently, on her recent visit home, DNT happened onto something really, really ugly. We suspect Myspace; I know it has had some issues with spreading trojans and worms and other assorted malware/spyware. A co-worker of the Sainted Bride had her computer infected by Myspace recently, as did another friend. Beware of what you click on at Myspace.

Bastards who write this kind of malware need to be killed. Slowly. Hanging, Drawing, and Quartering sounds good, though the quartering seems superfluous unless one mails out the parts as a warning to others. Hanging alone is okay, I suppose, provided one doesn't use a drop. These fuckers are far worse than simple spammers, for whom it is sufficient to merely beat them to death

Anyway, I've been too pissed off even to dare drop it into the FFOT for fear of burning out the interwebs and making Val go blind. So instead of the originally planned edition, I decided to go the alcohol route.

So here are are a few trivia questions, between attacks of that fucking malware I keep slapping back, about George Thorogood, who (against all odds) is apparently still alive and (I suspect) nursing an 800 lb. liver:

1) She told me not to mess around, but what did I do? [Boy Named Sous: I done let the deal go down]

2) When I walk down the street, who steps aside? [KG: Kings and queens step aside]

3) I looked at my watch and it was half past one. Where were we? [Nightfly: At a rock and roll dance havin' nothin' but fun]

4) I'm gonna get high and I'm gonna get loose. What do I need to accomplish this? [Boy Named Sous: Close enough. I need me a triple shot of that juice, in the form of one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer]

5) I feel bad because my whole family done give up on me. Who is the only one who'll hang out with me, and what do we do when we hang out? [Maggie: It's my dear Old Grandad, and we drink alone]

6) Three parter: If I walked 47 miles of barbed wire, (a) what do I wear for a necktie, (b) what is my house made of, and (c) what is the chimney on that house made of? [KG: In order, a cobra snake, rattlesnake hide, and human skull]

Fat Bottomed Girls

[NEW UPDATE: Okay, moved pics away from the Puritans at photobucket and proper nudieness has been restored, provided Comcast doesn't all bluenose too]

Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go 'round, and Monica Grenfell can go to hell.

She seems to be some sort of "celebrity nutritionist" in the UK. Whatever.

She also seems to have an issue with people who don't conform to her rather narrow view of what constitutes acceptable body size. Whatever.

Especially, she seems to have it in for a plus-sized 17-year-old girl named Chloe who became a beauty queen, is in the running for Miss England, and is comfortable in her own body. Whatever.

She seems to think that plus-sized women demonstrate a "shocking lack of self-control." Whatever.

And, for a "celebrity nutritionist", she seems to have some rather out-dated information on weight and body types. Whatever.

Warning: Possible bad language! Also, nudie pictures!

You have been warned.

I'll preface this by saying that, like lots of men, I tend to find slim women more physically attractive than fat women. Notice that I said "slim", not "anorexic" or even "skinny". Notice also that I said "fat", not "slightly overweight" or even just "overweight". The range of body types that is pleasing to my eye is fairly wide, perhaps wider than for most men though I doubt it.

I'll also note that I do agree with Ms. Grenfell that kids today are too often overweight, and that this is largely because of lifestyle. Kids don't seem to play outside as much as they used to, though I suppose soccer moms might disagree with that. They often tend to eat too much snack food and fast food, as often do their parents. I also agree that the young lady in question is a little heavier than most 17-year-olds should be, but that looks to my untrained eye to be her natural body type rather than simply eating too much.

In fact, if Ms. Grenfell had limited herself to comments like these, and about being fit and eating a good diet, that would have been fine. But no, she has to delve into vile bilge right from the headline:

A role model for ordinary women? No, Miss England finalist is fat, lazy and a poster girl for ill health

FUCK.

YOU.

BITCH.

This girl is NOT "fat":

Now, I joked about Monica Lewinsky like a lot of other people, but one thing that bothered me a little was when people called her "fat". She wasn't except in comparison to the stereotype of the "trophy mistress" one expects a rich, powerful, middle-aged horndog to latch onto. But "fat" in any kind of objective sense? No.

But let us continue with Ms. Grenfell:

Chloe is a stark reminder that obesity is now virtually normal in our society - and we should all be hanging our heads in shame.

This girl is NOT "obese":

Ms. Grenfell hangs her hat on that ridiculous Body Mass Index. A BMI number may mean something but the categories are utterly irrational - the fact that Arnold Schwarzeneggar is technically "obese" says it all..

She is an ambassador not for the beautiful larger lady as she'd have us believe but a poster girl for diabetes, strokes, heart attacks, cancers and all the other devastating and potentially fatal health problems that are caused or exacerbated by obesity ... Devastating conditions - from Type 2 diabetes to heart problems and many cancers - are caused or exacerbated by obesity.

Well, what a pantload of crap. Yes, those conditions are associated with obesity. OBESITY, not a few extra pounds. Not much for even a couple of extra stone.

But here is where Ms. Grenfell demonstrates a complete disregard for different people.

Chloe argued last week that she has a healthy diet and exercises regularly.

"I refuse to starve myself to turn my body into something it was never meant to be," she said.

I don't doubt she is telling truth. But yet again she is exposing another myth - that you need to starve yourself to be a healthy weight, and that only junk food makes you fat.

Getting fat by eating good food is perfectly possible - if you eat too much of it

And it's also possible if your metabolism is naturally slow.

Grenfell completely ignores that different people have different metabolisms, that there are people who can eat whatever they want without gaining weight and others who can't. I'm one of the lucky ones in the former group. I used to eat more than anyone I knew (including men twice my weight) and stayed at my high school weight of 140 lbs. well into my thirties. Well, there was a brief excursion when I first encountered the unlimited quanties of fats and starches that passed for cafeteria food my first quarter of college, but my Dad thought I looked much better with a few more pounds on my 5'10" frame (pounds which were shed very shortly thereafter).

Daughter Number Two is even worse than I. She is very (to my eye) underweight and can't seem to gain an ounce, much as I would like that.

But I always recognized that others were not so lucky. And I was never so arrogant as to think that "lack of self-control" is easy for someone who actually needs self control. It's kind of like someone who never touched tobacco telling a smoker he lacks "self-control" because he can't quit.

Anyway, bottom line on Ms. Grenfell is that she wants to put all women into that narrow, society-induced band that nutjob feminists scream about (for once, I'm not totally unsympathetic to the nutjob feminists). Fortunately, many of the commenters call her on her load of crap, so please do click through and read all the comments (about 30 when I looked).

However, not all of the commenters were so kind to Chloe:

Can someone enlighten me, (male or female) just what is attractive about huge hips and enormous thighs, calves and ankles?

HUGE?Oh, BITE ME, bitch.

She is, at most, a large framed gal who looks pretty toned for her weight, and her nether parts are NOT "enormous":

As more a enlightened commenter said,

Chloe is hardly obese. In fact I think that she is well proportioned and an excellent role model for young girls and women who perhaps become obsessed with their weight and image from the ideal that the media and self proclaimed experts say is the norm.

I for one would certainly prefer to see Chloe and her likes walking up and down the runway showing off the latest fashions than some string bean who looks as if she is about to fall down or snap through lack strength to hold herself up.

Right on. Not that I want girls to look like Rosie O'Donnell, but ribs ain't pretty. Ever. And Chloe looks a hell of a lot better, sexier, and healthier than, say, Calista Flockhart

Another turd of a retard in the comments claims that:

Whilst concepts of beauty can be culturally influenced, as with the long-necked women of Africa or the foot-bound women once found in China, this only relates to what can be termed as extreme fashion. The most marked aspect of the concept of beauty is its consistency across geography and time.

Oh really? Blow me, asshole.

Let's just see what some great artists of the past several centuries, artists such as Raphael, Boticelli, and others think about that statement (N.B.: No I don't remember who did which of these, if you're curious, look them up yourselves):

This one is getting a little bit hippy by current Nanny State standards:

This one more so, but she has a very nice butt:

This one is even getting a tad lumpy:

This one carries the extra weight very well:

So does this one, though the guy carrying her looks like he might disagree:

This one is even a little top-heavy (and not in the boobs), a departure from the pear shapes of the others:

Um, okay, the cellulite detracts a little, but still not bad:

Oh look, three butts! Triple your pleasure, triple your fun:

Three butts and another touch of cellulite:

And talk about a pear shape! Ms. Grenfell would go into conniptions:

Four more pears:

I'll stop now. I think I've made my point. I'll just finish up with a few of the positive comments:

Shame on you and anybody else who takes issue with normal size women living accomplished lives.

If this girl wants to be curvy, let her, if someone else wants to impersonate skeletor let them. [Ed: I know which I'd prefer; bony chicks hurt]

She looks fab and is a great role model to show that not everyone who is beautiful is a size 6!

Right frickin' on.

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

I'm really glad I didn't see this for myself last night. There could have been fatalities.

And anybody here who feels the need to express how much they just don't care about hockey or sports in general can fuck off. I'm sick of the morons who stampede around the internet telling everyone how much better their indifference makes them. Some people enjoy shit you don't. Get over yourself. Worse than being an obnoxious pissant snob, you're just boring. Talk about something you do care about. Hell, I'd rather hear from a person who hates something with the passion of a thousand burning suns than to have someone who thinks being aloof is a mark of character or something everyone else needs to hear. If you don't care, don't fucking BOTHER.

I'm sorry if that sounds mean. Tough shit. It's the Friday Fuck Off Thread. Nobody ever said we were supposed to be nice.

Take it away.

Oops

Don'tcha hate it when that happens?

Seems that Washington's governor, Christine Gregoire, is on a campaign tour for reelection. Being an environmentally-conscious person, she's travelling around the state in a bus that runs on biodiesel.

Just one small, little, insignificant, unimportant thing:

It has Oregon plates. Chuckle.

Random Bugs Bunny cartoon quote strangely applicable to stories ripped from today's headlines

"Odds Bodkins. The bumpkin is back."

Hat tip to Sis for the inspiration.

Hoomer

Your daily funny, "The Real Cause of Global Warming", via Alan.

Also found by way of Alan, a random thought from Thomas Sowell:

One way to reduce illegal immigration might be to translate some of our far left publications into Spanish and give everyone in Mexico subscriptions. After they read how terrible this country is, many may want to stay away.

Heh.

Quote of the day

So I was going through my evening ablutions and kind of paying half-attention to some History Channel program on truckstops. It looked like they had a shot of one TA (Truckstop of America) facility in Corning that I pass everytime I head up country to the ranch. Can't be certain it's the same one but sure looks like it.

Anyway, in a part of the show about truck weights (and hence, stopping distances), there was a quote from some state's highway patrol (rendered as best as I can rememember it now):

When one of these big rigs runs into a passenger car, the passenger car loses

Yeah, I should think so.

Rock 'n Roll Trivia (The Sainted Marilyn McCoo redux Edition)

UPDATE: Nightfly nails a whole passel of 'em. SECOND UPDATE: Okay, adding in the rest of the answers. Seriously, folks, if you're not familiar with the songs look them up. I think you will be delighted too.

Yeah, I'm a bad person. But Daughter Number One is home for spring break this week. She's visiting the local schools and observing teachers, and (I think) having a good time at it.

Anyway, I'm home today because I needed to go to the doctor for the fucking sinuses. Bleh. Bad shit.

But DNO came home from observing a teacher at a local high school and I happened to have put on a Fifth Dimension album on the stereo. We conversed about what songs we particularly liked, then I searched out my SAINTED MARILYN MCOO post and was appalled at how many of the questions had gone unanswered.

And since I know that some folks have only recently become regular readers, they probably missed the original posting.

And since my brain and sinuses are totally messed up from clogging and new drugs I picked up today, I have nothing new.

Except for being just barely cognizant to know that (a) I've done this one before, and (b) it's the middle of the week unlike on the weekends when I usually post new quizzes.

Um, wow. That was totally serial, being more of a sentence fragment than a whole sentence. Cool. Because I'm on great drugs. And beer. And I don't care. Except the drugs haven't yet cleared out my frickin' sinuses. Yet. My sinuses can totally FTFO. Maybe the Jack Daniels will help.

But in lieu of actually having functioning sinuses and brains, here is another (identical) tribute to the Sainted Marilyn McCoo, completely ripped off from my previous post to which I will not link because that would be cheating. So I hear. And I expect you to not look it up for cheats. Not that I would know if you lied about it.

Anyway, my sweet Marilyn McCoo, I love you forever. Please sing it, darling.

And perhaps I will review this tomorrow, sober and before the major drugs kick in, and add or (possibly) reword some questions that are, er, unintelligible in my current drug-addled state. In any case, here are some Sainted Marilyn questions:

1) I lay awake and watched until when? [Nightfly: Until the morning light washed away the darkness of the lonely night]

2) The world's a nicer place where? [Laura: In my beautiful balloon, and it wears a nicer face in my beautiful balloon, too]

3) Will there come a time when I grow tired of you? [Nightfly: Never, my love; and yes, the Association also sang this one]

4) If you can surrey (and really, who can't?) where are you going? [Nightfly: To the Stone Soul Picnic]

5) Each time the doorbell rings, what do I do? [Lisa: I still run]

6) Together let's do what? [Answer: Together let's find love]

7) Four leaves on a clover, I'm just a bit what? [Answer: I'm just a bit of a shade nungover]

8) Where can we sing a song and sail along? [Nightfly: Giving him a mulligan on this one; the exact lyric is sail along the silver sky]

9) I heard your number ringing and what happened? [Answer: I went cold inside]

10) Please don't tell my mother I'm what? [Answer: I'm a saloon and moonshine lover]

11) One less egg to fry and what do I do? [Nightfly: All I do is cry]

12) In your voice I hear what? [Nightfly: A choir of carousels]

13) I was the one who came running when? [Nightfly: When you were lonely]

14) Gonna do what to that devil? [Answer: Gonna lay that devil down]

15) Love runs deep like what?

16) Why couldn't I close my eyes? [Nightfly: Because you were on my mind]

17) Suspended where? [Answer: Suspended under the twilight canopy]

18) Where will we chase your dream? [Answer: If you hold my hand, we'll chase your dream across the sky]

19) Don't let Daddy hear it. Why not? [Answer: Because he don't believe in the gin mill spirit]

20) If devotion rules my heart, I do what (or not)? [Nightfly: I take no bows]

A short history lesson

For our sad little leftist friends over at DU and the Beeb, who seem to be unable to contain their glee at the death of Charlton Heston, here is a small history lesson with pictures:

Charlton Heston, 1963:

Bill Clinton, 1966:

Any questions?

Rock 'n' Roll Trivia (Petula Springfield edition)

UPDATE: Tossing in the last couple of answers.

Okay, I'll admit it. I used to confuse these two ladies. Once got mocked by a former boss because of this. I know, I know, one has a clear, beautiful voice and the other has a husky, sensual voice. But damned if I could ever remember which is which.

Well, that's not true now but it was at one time. I think I have the two lovelies sorted out now.

Anyway, I used to have a great (seriously, GREAT) knowledge of the oldies of 50s and 60s pop music. Seriously, once a supervisor who came of (pop music) age in the early 60s was impressed at how much I knew of the era (most specifically, I impressed her because I came up with Lou Christie as the singer of the "Lightning Striking" song - that was [GAWD] something like 20 years ago).

But despite my incredible knowledge, I still confused these two gals. And perhaps I will confuse you too. Or not.

In any case, here are some questions about the songs of the Lovely Petula Clark and the Lovely Dusty Springfield:

1) What cannot mend this heart of mine? [Joel: Silver threads and golden needles]

2) There isn't an ocean too deep nor a mountain so high it can keep me away. What must I do? [Lisa: I must follow him]

3) It's crazy but it's true. What is? [Joel: I only want to be with you]

4) You can linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty. Where? [Joel: Downtown]

5) The only boy who could ever teach me was who? [Laura: The son of a preacher man]

6) You walk out on me when we both disagree. But don't do what? [Answer: Don't sleep in the subway, darling]

7) If you're looking to find love you can share, what do you have to do? [Greg: All you gotta do is hold him and kiss him and love him and show him that you care]

8) Every day when the work is behind you and the shop and the store put the lock on the door. But don't let the day get the better of you. Why not? [Greg: Because I know a place where we can go]

9) Don't tell me what to do and don't tell me what to say. Why not? [Kate: Because you don't own me]

10) Your love for me is getting so much stronger, and I won't have to wait much longer. You call me up whenever you feel lonely and tell your friends that I'm your one and only. What is all this? [Nightfly: It's a sign of the times]

11) I'm left alone with just a memory and life seems dead and so unreal. You don't have do something, but you have to do something else. What are these things? [Nightfly: You don't have to say you love me, just stay close at hand]

12) When it seems your friends desert you, don't be afraid because you can do what? [Answer: You can call me (don't be afraid to just call me)]

Quote of the day

I'm not a dessert person, so I rather appreciate this one from our buddy Brian:

I'm not a baker. You want a chocolate cake, talk to one of those OCD freaks.

Boy howdy.

The Friday Fuck Off Thread

Fuck off away. I got nothing. I'm too damn happy today. Cheers and have a great weekend.

Summer Flicks

Sheila posted a great photo of a billboard for one of the upcoming summer blockbusters a lot of us have been waiting for.

There are a few other posters that have started making the rounds for another film I'm really, really looking forward to.

Below the jump.

This one actually gives me the chills.

This one is pretty awesome, too.

Quote of the Day

"I don't believe in intelligent design. The case for not-very-bright design, however, remains open."

Zombies!

The Undead Army

"I have returned.....for your BRAINS!"

Talkin' Baseball

This is for our good buddy KG.

Small aside: this new-fangled idea of crossing the International Date Line and playing ballgames in the future before Opening Day is just weird. Not necessarily bad, just ... weird.

Anyway, here is a little tribute to our Bums from the Sixties. And yes, KG my good fellow, envy me a little. I watched them in real time. Mostly on TV, it is true, but I watched them. Wills, Howard, Fairly, the Brothers Davis, Roseboro, the magnificent twosome of Koufax and Drysdale. I saw them all.

And by the way, we're 2 and 0 so far, whuppin' up on the hated J'ints.

Confirmed

We's gonna go see these folks next month.

I can hardly wait.

Return of the unredead

Our old friend, the Pagan Saudi Arabian Vampire, is in the news again.

'Vampire' convict dies in Bolivia

American who called himself after a fictional vampire and who was serving 30 years for fatal bombings in La Paz has died, Bolivian officials say.

[...]

He went by the name Lestat Claudius de Orleans y Montevideo, derived from the vampire novels by US author Anne Rice.

Amero, originally from California, had been convicted of carrying out the attacks with his Uruguayan ex-girlfriend, Alda Ribeiro Costa, 47, who was also jailed for the maximum 30-year term.

Huh. I thought they couldn't die.

Humor

Okay, this is pretty funny. Heard it on the radio this morning.

Funny, I bet Letterman's neighbors actually did say he mostly kept to himself.

I know it's absolutely wrong

But on this quiz I stole from Physics Geek, we got a cuss rating of zero:

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Online Dating

I think the FFOT killed it. Or at least gave it a nervous breakdown and possibly a hemorrhagic stroke.