it comes in pints?

Who is responsible for this?

A week or so ago, Bill Quick had some fun with a few of them. I just read it this morning and got a good laugh.

Then just a few minutes ago I got an email update from the Sacramento Bee. This is what it said:

Subject: Breaking News Alert: Miles' eventing silver is first medal for capital-area Olympians

Gina Ostini Miles, a Davis High School graduate, won a silver medal in equestrian eventing today in Hong Kong.

So I clicked on over to the Sackatomatoes Bee, and sure enough, it's there again.

Miles' eventing silver is first medal for capital-area Olympians

Gina Ostini Miles, a Davis High School graduate, won a silver medal in equestrian eventing today in Hong Kong.

Now, I'm not closely familiar with English-style equestrian sports, only very loosely familiar with some of the components (but I do currently have a Dick Francis novel in the CD player), so I just now learned that I can't blame it on illiterate journos. Best guess is that I can blame it on some snotty Brit.

Okay, I will (barely and grudgingly) accept that "ev*nting" is the term used for this sport. But I want to know who came up with the term, and has s/he been flogged yet?

Those crazy kids are at it again

Got "Breaking News" update from the SacBee. The Justin Timberlake show at the Arco Arena has been postponed.

And I was so looking forward to actively ignoring it.

Ridiculous headline of the day (updated)

I don't know if it's just a dumb headline writer or if she actually thinks she needed to say something like this, but presented without commentary:

Clinton pushes innovation to Silicon Valley leadership

On the other hand, this is excellent fodder for commentary and I'm going to suggest it to the Hoodster. UPDATE: HA! (Via Bitter)

They "must be held acounbtable"

More humor, this time at the expense of illiterate teenagers.

Jail-bound socialite Paris Hilton urged fans yesterday to sign a petition to pardon her ''mistake'' because she provides beauty and excitement to ''(most of) our otherwise mundane lives''. /snip/ She wrote on her blog: ''My friend Joshua started this petition, please help and sihn (sic) it. i LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!''

The very first commenter at Lucianne says

The petition is to appeal Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon her. That settles it. Forty-five days is not near long enough. Not even if we could locate the dungeons of Mordor within which to lock her.

Indeed. I first heard something about this on the radio on the way to work. They mentioned that the Guvnah probably would not be swayed by illiterate teenyboppers who don't vote.

Via Don Surber, whose second commenter provided this gem (verbatim):

Michel Bisson Says:

May 9th, 2007 at 5:50 am
Jail for such infraction is a tyrannic rsponsise for such situation. And it is going against the constitution and declaration of independance. State must be acounbtable for such immoral abuse.

Law is there to serve and protec people not to enslave people.

she has not kill, she has not steal, she injured nobody, she has not declare illegal war who killed thousands of innocent, she has driven her car, without a license.

People lacking judgment like this judge should be impeach.

She should have been sentenced to something more useful for society.

Well, Lord knows someone should be held "acounbtable", but I'm hard pressed to think of something more useful to do with her than jail.

And by the way, Don's old like me. I bet he'd get the reference in the category.

More dumb reporters

The marginally literate teenagers at the Sackamenna Bee are at it again. Please read the following phrase, which opens this SacBee story, and tell me what exactly is wrong with it.

A year after huge national protests against a federal proposal to criminalize illegal immigrants, ...

I know, it's a toughie but I'm sure that this highly intelligent crew can make some educated guesses.

By the way, I don't think anyone has yet guessed the reference in the category. Any guesses?

Headline writers - feh

I'm still disappointed that no one has yet gotten the reference in the category so I'm using it a little more loosely to include the headline writers, and even the reporter, of this story (registration probably required), though other categories might be more appropriate.

Protester of group home is targeted
A Norco woman upset over disabled neighbors faces a state and federal investigation for alleged housing discrimination

State and federal authorities have opened an investigation into a Norco housewife, alleging that her vitriolic protests against a high-risk group home in her neighborhood may constitute housing discrimination.

The inquiry makes the actions of Julie Waltz, 61, the first test of a controversial new tactic by advocates for the developmentally disabled to stop protesters from trying to drive group homes from neighborhoods throughout the state.

Well, two things occurred to me on reading that. (1) Why would anyone be so uncharitable as to "vitriolically" oppose a home for developmentally disabled people? (2) But an investigation? That seems a bit overreactive (especially since, later, we find out that the woman's conduct seems to consist primarily of placing signs in her yard).

But of course, reading further into the story:

The tempest in Norco began in 2005 after the home next to Waltz on Broken Arrow Street was sold. She said she learned from public records that it was to be a group home for "fire-setting," "sexually inappropriate" and "physically aggressive" people.

Boy howdy, that's just who I want moving in next door.

Over Waltz's objections, the home received state funds to open in 2005. Waltz said that when her new neighbors arrived, they hurled rocks and obscenities at her. She and some neighbors then placed signs in their yards urging the group home to "get out" and warned neighbors that "your wife and kids are potential rape victims" — driving the residents inside to tears, according to their advocates.

Well, I'm not forming an opinion on the situation itself because I'm sure there's more to it than just what's in the story. But it would be helpful if the reporters and headline writers paid a little more attention and put more pertinant information higher in the story, because from where I sit "developmentally disabled" does not in any way connote "fire-setting", "sexually inappropriate", or "physically aggressive".

Those dopey SacBee high schoolers are at it again

Breaking News Alert: Air is toxic, officials warn

Now, this one is actually legitimate, but you have to read the story to find that out. A railroad trestle has been burning and spewing toxic funes in its vicinity since late yesterday, and it is advised that vulnerable people (young, old, those with respiratory illness, the usual) take precautions.

But come on. Do these people at the Bee have any grasp of the fundamentals of communication?

By the way, you may notice I added a new category because these alerts didn't seem to fit quite well enough into "Drinking the Stupid Juice". 100 points to anyone who identifies the reference.